Should we teach this?

Grammy Teacher

Grammy Teacher

Virtuoso
Who should teach 4 and 5 year olds about sexual "safety?" A parent asked that we teach them about this, regarding not letting others touch them, etc.
What is your opinion? Home or school? Who should talk about it with their child?
 
Does this parent want school to cover it in addition to their conversations at home? Starts at home, for sure.
 
I don't believe it's an appropriate topic for a preschool classroom. Perhaps if presented by a trained guidance counselor or social worker in small groups, but not by a typical teacher, and definitely not without parent permissions. I would simply inform the parent that its not a part of your current curriculum and provide them with a few community resources that could help.
 
Umm, that's a home one I would think. My daughter is 4, and I would be very uncomfortable if her teachers taught this without me knowing. It's one thing to correct a situation if one comes up than to teach it outright whole group.
 
Just Me...Yes, they want it taught. They do teach it at home.
Preschool0920...I think the same way as you.
agdamity...there has been a situation and it has been taken care of.
DHE...This parent teaches it at home.
 
There are several PS lesson plans that treat the subject at grade level. Yes, I taught it every year with other safety issues.
 
I think it's important for young children to know what is inappropriate touching. I don't think it needs to be graphic, but they need to know this to keep themselves safe.
 
I had to cover this every year when I taught Head Start. It was basically, no one should ever touch your parts that are covered by your swimsuit unless it is your parents to keep you healthy and clean, or a doctor to keep you healthy.

No graphic detail, no parts names----still it gave me an icky feeling to have to discuss it.
 
That should be the parents' responsibilities IF they are so concerned that their children are getting curious at an early age. I teach Pre-K, and I can't sit there and teach sexual "safety" stuff. The best I would do is to tell them, "If someone tries to touch you anywhere on your body "WHERE MOM AND DAD TOLD YOU THAT THEY CAN'T TOUCH", tell them NO! Tell Mom and Dad if someone tries to touch you, RIGHT AWAY!" They need to know that certain touches are not okay, so they would be safe, BUT Mom and Dad will have to do the explaining.
Rebel1
 
While I agree that this should be a home responsibility (just as I believe it's a home responsibility to teach honesty, compassion, etc.)...what do we, as teachers, do when it's clearly NOT being taught at home? Do we say, "It's not our place," and continue solely teaching reading, writing, 'rithmetic?

It's not an easy question to answer, IMHO.

And what happens if the sexual molestation is happening IN the home? Do we expect the perpetrators to handle instruction? "It's not okay for anybody to touch you in that spot of your body unless it's your mommy or daddy." Disturbing.

Do the ends truly justify the means?

That being said, I'm not certain pre-K is the best age to be educated about this...but then at what age do we, as humans develop the "yuck-meter"... the internal alarm system that says, "You know...that touch isn't a good touch"?
 
I remember receiving lessons on this topic at school when I was very young. It wasn't detailed or graphic. It was generally about "bad touching" and along the lines of "no one should be touching your private parts except your parents and the doctor". I think that it can definitely be a school-appropriate topic, but I wouldn't do it at school without explicit permission from the school administrator and notification of the parents.
 
Four and five year olds can be very curious. My research shows that if children are told that it's not o.k and they keep doing it, something has to be done about it for the safety of the other children. What would you do in a case like this?
 
If this is a situation where a child this age is acting out sexual acts, I would most likely report it to social services and let them investigate. There's a difference between being curious and then continuing to do something that they have been told is not okay. I would also ask your guidance counselor, if you're in a school setting, to come talk with the student. This could be addressed much better 1:1 than a group lesson. If social services didn't find anything, I would provide the parent with resources or at the least have a conference to make a plan to stop the behavior at school.
 
I'm absolutely a proponent of parents and school personnel being a team.

But this is one area where checks and balances should probably come into play.

If this topic is taught both at home and in school, we're guaranteed that the kids have heard the message. So if there's a problem in the home-- a parent, a step parent, an adult's significant other for example-- they know they can tell their teachers. Likewise, if there's an issue from the time they get on the bus in the morning until the time they get off it in the afternoon, they know they can tell mom or dad.

I don't think it has to be overdone, but they should know, as Zelda said, that "no one should ever touch your parts that are covered by your swimsuit unless it is your parents to keep you healthy and clean, or a doctor to keep you healthy."

And the earlier and more often they hear it, the more likely we are to save some kid.

Also, Grammy, if this parent knows her child has gotten the message, but still wants you to cover the material, there may be something she's not saying. There may be another child in the class who she knows needs to hear the message, but she may be afraid to call CPS.... and she's not a mandated reporter.

I think I would begin with a chat with mom.
 
I think it should be covered at school. You don't have to be graphic, but they need to know that they can tell someone at school if the problem is at home. I think saying that no one should touch you in a place that's covered by your bathing suit is a good way to put it. I don't think it needs to ba a week long theme, just one short lesson with occasional reminders as needed.
 
Four year olds are so young. I'm afraid that it's possible to "over warn" very young children about some issues as it plants a seed. What I mean is, it's possible to "scare" children into reporting their their mommy or daddy is hurting them because they applied an annointment to a rash or something along those lines. Then CPS is called and it goes from there... So whatever may be taught to preschoolers should be very simple and not repeatedly taught.
 
I agree JustMe. Over-talking about anything will plant it in their heads and then it's ALL they talk about all day long!
The information given should be short and not very often.
I think we have to be careful with telling them that only "mom or dad" can touch them because it possible that sometimes the offender could be the parent. Sad to say, but we do have to think of this at times.
 
I had to teach it...but it boiled down to if a girl type swim suit would cover the area it isn't for showing to others, and stranger danger. Like Zelda said. We taught it in Sept with the back to school theme and moving around the community.
 
I teach it is from a different point of view. I teach that it isn't polite/nice to touch people in our private places. I don't see it as any different than teaching any other manner/expectation.

This started because most of my kids have no idea of personal space and one of them grabbed a toy while cleaning up that was near someone's crotch. To me, it's part of teaching that everyone has bubble of personal space.

As far as "unsafe touching", no, I don't do that part. I can't even imagine teaching that with last year's kids.
 
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