Hi everyone! I started this school year as a full time TA in a third grade classroom. It's next to impossible to get a full time elementary position on Long Island, and I worked in this district last year, so I figured that I'd stay in my current position for another year. I have benefits, I'm in the retirement system, and I'm still working in an elementary school, so I was hoping to maybe get my foot in the door and gain some more experience. The first 30 days of the school year, I was pulled 10 days to substitute teach. After the first couple of weeks of school, I was told to leave my class after lunch for an hour to go to the ABA room to cover their TA's lunch and recess every day. A month ago, that TA suffered an injury at work, and I was moved into the ABA room full time with no clear end date. I just found out last week that the TA in the ABA room has my position, and I must stay in the ABA room for the duration of the school year. I have my MS in Elementary Education, and I have additional certifications in Early Childhood Education, Literacy, and Students with Disabilities (special ed). While I do have my special ed certification, I have always known that I do not want to work in an ABA environment. It is absolutely not for me. In fact, I wasn't happy when I was pulled from my students to work in the ABA room for an hour a day in September, but I figured I could deal with it for an hour. Now that I'm in the ABA room full time, I am even more certain that this is not the place I want to be at any point in my career. The student who injured the other TA is non-verbal, should be in 4th grade, and is only a few inches shorter than me. I am 5'2" and 102 lbs...on a good day (ha,ha). He is physical with me every single day. He is physical with the classroom teacher as well, and was physical with his former TA too. He's ripped the necklace right off the principal's neck this year, and you can find strands of my hair in the classroom, since he tends to pull hair when he's in the middle of a meltdown. We are working with a behaviorist, and I am very good about enforcing his behavior plan, minimizing transitions, etc, but he still shoves, hits, pushes, and pulls my hair every day. When my assistant principal informed me that I'd be remaining in the ABA room all year, I did voice my concerns (which I NEVER do), and asked to be trained on the proper way to restrain a child (I never took that class; this is a gened public school). I was told that it wasn't necessary for me to be trained, and that this would be my assignment for the rest of the year, that I just need to give it a chance and they're sure that I'll like it more than I think I will. On a side note: my boyfriend's brother is 22 years old, 6 feet tall, has Autism, and is nonverbal. I've dated him for 5 years, and I just spent a week away in Florida with him and his family for Christmas break. I've also worked with Autistic children in the past, so this isn't a matter of me being uncomfortable due to lack of experience or exposure to the population as my principal sort of seemed to be implying. As I said earlier, I've also been in this room for an hour a day all school year, and have worked full days in the ABA room for the few weeks before Christmas break. I feel guilty saying that I feel so strongly against working in an ABA room, but truthfully, I loathe it. It's just not my thing. I would be comfortable teaching resource, inclusion, self contained, etc, but ABA and life skills type settings aren't my cup of tea. I used to love my job (I was a full-time TA in second grade in this district last year), but now I hate getting up for work in the morning. I have never felt this way working in a school before. I have trouble falling asleep, and I wake up in the middle of the night with major anxiety. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but now I cry every single day on the way home from work. I am the only TA in the room, but this particular student's behaviors are so frequent and challenging that I am basically his 1:1. His behaviors were so bad that in the beginning of the year, he stopped going to all specials, except for P.E., so I am pretty much with him in the ABA room all day long. I also must now go to lunch and recess with the boys, which was my former lunch, so I no longer eat with any of my coworkers (my current lunch after theirs, which isn't even a "real" lunch period. I eat alone every day now). It's pretty isolating, which I'm finding difficult, since the position is so difficult for me and I could really use the support or just even a trip out of the building with some of my coworkers for a change of scenery, pace, and a laugh. I know that not all children in an ABA room exhibit these types of behaviors on such a frequent basis, however, this still isn't a setting that I'd like to be in. I suppose I'd compare it to someone who loves teaching social studies in a secondary setting; they would probably be incredibly uncomfortable and unhappy in a kindergarten classroom. I know in my heart that I'm just not an ABA teacher. It's not the type of teaching that I enjoy doing. I have no idea how I'm going to make it until the end of June. It's very difficult to go into work knowing what I face each day. I will never just quit, however, I have decided to update my resume and cover letter to send out in the hopes of perhaps landing a leave replacement/LTS position. My question is, do I include the ABA experience on my resume? On one hand, I was told that it looks great on a resume, but on the other, I know that I NEVER want to be an ABA teacher. I would never apply for an ABA position, and I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea and think that this is something I enjoy doing or am comfortable with just because I have experience with it. If you can't tell by my longwinded post here, I sincerely do feel incredibly guilty that I feel so strongly in regards to my aversion to working in the ABA classroom. I always give 110% at work, and of course, I care about the boys that I'm teaching just as I've cared about every student I've taught, so I want to do right by them and give it my best shot. I am so incredibly anxious and unhappy, though. My day absolutely crawls, and I am physically exhausted when I come home. I feel like this position is having a very real impact on me physically, which is making me nervous and forcing me to wonder if perhaps I'm just not a great teacher. I'm an adult, shouldn't I be able to handle this? I've had students in the past who have hit me before, and students who have been challenging and have thrown themselves on the floor, etc. but I've never, EVER disliked coming to work. I really don't think I'm cut out for ABA...maybe not even for teaching at all? Sigh. I'm sorry. I think I'm just tired and emotionally shot right now. I'm a perfectionist, too...so I'm having a hard time coping with the fact that I'm really struggling with this situation. I'm obviously rambling. So what do you think guys, should I list ABA on my resume, or should I leave it off?