Should I let him pick me up?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by 1stGradeRocks, Dec 6, 2010.

  1. 1stGradeRocks

    1stGradeRocks Comrade

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    Should I let him pick me up? *Update*

    I met a guy from eharmony once for coffee for around an hour. He asked me out for this weekend, and he offered to pick me up. Should I let him pick me up? He seems genuine and trustworthy, but don't all psychopaths at first? :lol: I guess I've watched too many Lifetime movies.
     
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  3. Elocin

    Elocin Comrade

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    I am a worrier but I wouldn't. I wait a few more dates before I let go of being able to leave when I wanted/needed. How exciting though! What do you have planned?
     
  4. Securis

    Securis Cohort

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    I'm a guy and I'd want a way to bail if things started to go down the wrong track. He'll understand.
     
  5. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

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    Definitely not! Anyone can put up a front for a few hours. You need to drive yourself to and from and don't let him follow you hone.
     
  6. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    Like the others, let wisdom prevail. If he really is a nice guy, he will realize that you are a nice girl being careful, and he will respect that. If he is a freak, he will know you are not gullible.
     
  7. Kat53

    Kat53 Devotee

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    No. That's what my mom would tell me. :)
     
  8. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I'd also drive myself. If he's worth your time, he'll understand.
     
  9. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I agree with the others.
     
  10. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    "'Drive,' she said."

    It will take pressure off both of you, frankly.
     
  11. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    Wait until you have been in a social situation where you have met other people who know him - co-workers, family etc.

    Psychopaths can fake a lot of things, but a network of people who think highly of them are hard to fabricate.
     
  12. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    First date? No way, drive yourself. If the date gets awkward you can leave on your own.
     
  13. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Drive yourself ..... Lots of weirdos out there.... Hopefully he is a "catch"........:hugs:
     
  14. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

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    We're such a trusting group. :). I'm so thankful on more levels than one can list to be happily married. I don't think I could do the internet dating scene. Let us know your decision and of course, how tge date goes.
     
  15. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    no.
     
  16. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    I think if you are questioning it enough to post a thread here, you already know the answer...
     
  17. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    DallasTeacher~I totally agree!
     
  18. paperheart

    paperheart Groupie

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    NO! Spoken from experience.... I met a guy from an online site once that was visiting a friend from out of town and thinking of moving. Since he didn't have a car, I reluctantly drove/picked him up. He seemed normal. BAD IDEA!

    Within 5 min he told me he had been in prison for 2 years for auto theft and his brother had anger management issues--just like him!!

    He also told me he only had $20 and when we passed walgreens he suggested we stop to get "supplies".

    He asked whether I wanted to go to a bar or the movie. I was terrified by this point. I said movie. When we sat down, he immediately reached for my belt!! I told him I needed to go to the restroom and booked it for me car. It was THE worst date ever.

    You never know and meeting a date at the public location is common nowadays so it wont be strange to ask him to meet you there.
     
  19. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    If you have to ask, the answer is no :) I hope your date goes well!!
     
  20. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    There is NO up side to having a stranger know where you live.

    Meet him in a public place. Have your own car, and make sure friends and family know where you are.

    If you have any sort of funny feeling at all about anything, hit the road. Don't worry about being perceived as rude, listen to your instincts.

    The odds are ovewhelming that he'll just be a nice guy, and that all this will be unnecessary. But the funny thing about odds is that every once in a while, someone beats the odds.

    As my mom told the doctor: "One in a million odds are great. Unless you're the one."

    The first priority is your safety. Drive yourself.
     
  21. gigi

    gigi Groupie

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    Definitely drive yourself. Better to be safe, give yourself the option to leave on your own. Let us know how the date goes!
     
  22. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    How scary paperheart!!
     
  23. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    Paperheart that is scary and I would definitely drive myself for awhile.
     
  24. sweetlatina23

    sweetlatina23 Cohort

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    I had a similiar situation like Paperheart's.

    I was meeting guys online all the time. I use to chat in a local chat room and we all new each other. There was this one guy who told me a sob story about his current life at the time. We were both students at the local community college, he was dealing with a death in the family, and I was in a depression. I wanted company and he offered to pick me up at the school. I normally would take the local bus to get home. He told me he was going to go to the services and skip school that day, but he would go pick me up.

    In all our emails and chats he was a total gentleman. He mentioned he was virgin just like I was. I, of course, thought I had found my "prince." I got in the car and we were talking, while in the parking lot he started to touch me inappropriately. He turned on the car and started taking off. I panicked!

    He told me we should be each others firsts, etc. I told him to stop the car, I wanted to leave. He kept driving, I told him to please take me home. He started to go to where my house was and then at a stop sign I jumped off the car and took off. I didnt want him to know where I lived.

    Trust me the sweet, caring guys online, are the @$$*0!#$!

    I did later on meet my husband online, but I learned from that and other experiences from my online dating times. I had a few other experiences, but this was one of the worst ones.

    Take it slow and meet him at the coffee shop or wherever you are meeting, its better to be safe than sorry. Also, have a friend call you 40 minutes into the date to ask if you need help. A text won't help. Don't go without telling someone. Besides us scaring you, have fun.

    If he is your prince, he will understand, if not...then he isnt worth it.
     
  25. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I would say no, meet him in public.

    I will also say I did not take that advice with my current BF and even though everything worked out fine, I still can't believe how stupid I was.
     
  26. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Wow! We all agree on something! haha!!!

    Sarge, your advice was especially excellent.

    Let us know how things go. I would say don't let him pick you up for quite a while.
     
  27. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I also agree w/ everyone. I also think you should not only drive yourself for at least several more dates, but be happy to go dutch a couple times. You don't want this guy to think you owe him something just because he buys you a burger!
     
  28. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    :lol: bonneb...this might be a first!
     
  29. 1stGradeRocks

    1stGradeRocks Comrade

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    So I went against common sense and let him pick me up. :eek: I thought it went really well though. He was a complete gentleman (opened doors, paid for my dinner) and commented how nice my house and Christmas decorations were. After dinner, he suggested a movie. I invited him back to my house to play Wii. We had fun playing Wii for a little over 2 hours. Then he gave me a "see you later hug" as he left (like I said, a total gentleman). So... we'll see where it goes.
     
  30. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Very nice, Kinder!
     
  31. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    KinderABC, for your sake, I'm glad he was on his good behavior. I personally wouldn't let my guard down yet.
     
  32. gigi

    gigi Groupie

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    I am glad you had a good time, AND that you are SAFE and sound at home.
     
  33. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    Have you met co-workers or friends of his? That's very important, in my opinion.
     
  34. 1stGradeRocks

    1stGradeRocks Comrade

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    I was going to respond to a post that had some very harsh words towards me, but I guess it has been deleted with the reason being "not worth it"?

    Anyway, I just want to let everyone know that I wasn't completely naive and stupid about this. I know it was not the best idea to let him pick me up and come to my house, but I did take some precautions. Before I met him at all I had done an extensive search on the internet which allowed me to validate that he was who he said he was, did what he said he did, etc. The first time I met him I met him for coffee at a very public and crowded shopping mall. I started thinking that he already knew my first and last name and so he could easily find out where I lived anyway if he really wanted to/had bad intentions. Also, my parents (who live 1 mile away) knew exactly who I was with and where we were going as well.
     
  35. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    There are a lot of crazies out there. Until you know a person and their friends, it's best to avoid putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation.
     
  36. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Kinder I just want to say you were crazy LOL........ But isn't that what makes the world go round LOL

    One time I agreed to meet a lady friend at K-Mart. Well, I got there first and put a hatchet and a machete in my basket as a joke :D since she had asked me if I was an ax murderer. When she got there I said I needed to return my "weapons of defense" since she looked safe :eek:. It started the evening off with a laugh we went out for about 2 years till she moved to take care of her mother in the Midwest.:(
     
  37. Starista

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    Kinder,

    I am glad it worked out. I met my husband online and we lived miles and miles away and the first time we "met" in real life I picked him up at the airport. This was after a correspondance of over 3 years, however.

    Just be cautious... we don't want anything happening to YOU!
     
  38. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    I'm not advocating making poor decisions. But, there is something to be said for following your gut and making sure safe guards are in place.

    So, no alarms went off after date one. For date 2 he picks Kinder up and ends up back at her place for games. Obviously, no alarms went off or Kinder wouldn't have let that happen. She also had informed people (her parents I believe) of her plans.

    I know, I know, some of you have the "but in today's world ..." fears or stories. And, I don't want to trivialize those. But, there is also something to be said about intuition, cell phones, being alert ...

    I guess I feel like Kinder is getting kind of beat up here.
     
  39. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I'm certainly not trying to beat her up. I do see how others might be upset, though, since she asked for advice and then completely disregarded 100% of the advice she was given. It could make people seem like their advice is not valued.

    And the fact is that yes, bad things do happen. Many times they happen because a person made an unsafe decision and put herself in a position to be harmed. Why not just avoid that? It's not like it's a major inconvenience to drive oneself to a second date.
     
  40. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    I hear ya, Caesar. I really do.
     
  41. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Dave, that's a hilarious way to take the "edge" off.
     

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