Should I go?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by silverspoon65, Aug 6, 2011.

  1. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I am torn about going to see my cousin in the hospital. We are pretty close - he is the same age as my brother and lived 2 minutes away growing up, so he is pretty much my "other brother."

    Yesterday morning he was working as a roofer on a high school gym and fell through the skylight onto the gym floor 30 ft below. They flew him to a hospital 90 minutes away from home (and I am 90 minutes in the other direction, but the hospital is in the town where I used to live.)

    He is in the ICU in critical condition. Major concussion, punctured lung, lacerated kidney, removed his spleen, fractured his pelvis, collarbone, ribs, and hip. His neurological responses are very strong and his spine looks good - he has complete feeling. He is sedated because he keeps trying to pull his tubes out. He is 26.

    I want to go because I feel this need to "help" but what can I really do? I guess the only thing I can offer is that I know the area better than the rest of the family, in case anyone needs anything. And hugs. I have the GRE on Monday and work Tuesday, so if I don't go today or tomorrow, I won't be able to go until Wednesday. Not sure what to do.
     
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  3. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I would go if I could.
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    You cared enough to come on the forums and ask people who don't know your cousin to keep in in their thoughts...of course you should go.
     
  5. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    You should go. I know for a fact that the family will greatly appreciate your support during this time of need.
     
  6. donziejo

    donziejo Devotee

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    You should go. The family will appreciate your help and so will your cousin when he learns of it.
     
  7. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    You should go! Nothing but positive can come from it. Acting from a place of love and concern is always the right thing to do. :)
     
  8. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    ok. good points. I guess I just feel like I would be in the way. I can't stop worrying about him, either. It's a little selfish but I think it would be good for me to go too.
     
  9. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    You should go. He would appreciate it I'm sure.
     
  10. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    For it being someone so close to you, I'm surprised you had to ask us. When people are in his kind of condition, which I'm sorry about by the way, I'm sure just you sitting there, keeping him company is greatly appreciated. Bring magazines & a plant/flowers if you can. Maybe call him & see if he needs anything.
     
  11. Jlyn07

    Jlyn07 Comrade

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    I would also go if I could. Your family will appreciate you being there I'm sure.
     
  12. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I texted yesterday to see if anyone needed anything. I get overwhelmed when there are too many people around, so honestly, if I was his sister or mom, I wouldn't really want people to come right away.

    But I went today and it was good. I got to see him a couple times - he is heavily sedated and he won't remember anything from the past couple days. His mom and I were really close but I haven't seen her in awhile because she and my uncle divorced and since he is my blood relative, not her, I don't see her as much anymore because she doesn't come to family things. So it was good to sit and talk to her, and I got my cousin, his sister, out of the hospital for lunch for awhile. So overall, thanks for telling me to go!
     
  13. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    I'm glad you went, and I'm sure that it was really appreciated by your cousin and his family. :)
     
  14. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I'm glad that you decided to go, for your cousin as well as yourself.
     
  15. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    It sounds like it went well. I suspect there will be a long recovery. In that case, there will be lots of little things you can do to help. Just do what feels right.
     
  16. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    A family member is never in the way as long as you are not really in the way! The good of you showing up will out weight anything......
     
  17. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    He may not ever remember anything from these days.

    But for the time you were there, the voice of someone who loves him brought him comfort.

    He doesn't have to remember it for it to have made a difference.
     
  18. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    They were able to close him today - his spleen is out, his liver was fixed, and they think his bladder will heal on his own.

    The final (hopefully) tally of injuries from head to toe - major concussion, facial fractures and cuts and bruises, broken collarbone and first rib, spleen out, lacerated bladder, damaged liver, fractured pelvis with a good amount of muscle damage because of the break, a broken hip. His knees are fine, which is kind of a joke because all the men in the family have bad knees, especially him, and he has bad multiple surgeries and injuries on them already. (this is not the first time we have all been gathered around him in the hospital - he is pretty accident prone - but this is definitely the worst).

    I found out more about the incident - they were working on a high school (where I student taught actually) and they had just removed the skylight to seal around it. The guys said it was only a matter of minutes before he turned around and it was almost like he forgot he had just taken the cover off - he tumbled into the hole and they tried to grab for him but he fell. They were above the gym, so he fell probably 30 feet onto the gym floor. Of course since it is summer, the guys couldn't get into the gym to get to him and almost busted open a door before they finally found a way in. They said he hit the floor, convulsed, and then was awake and yelling for help and trying to get up right away. He also tried to fight the ambulance workers and has been fighting intubation every hour when they wake him up. It's hard to see but it also tells us that that's my stubborn bullheaded cousin. :)

    They are probably going to be able to wake him up and take the tubes out by morning, which will be good, so everyone can talk to him. I think that will put everyone at ease.

    Thanks again for all the support - a lot of my going was selfish, which is why I hesitated. I have the GRE tomorrow and I knew I was not going to be able to concentrate until I saw him and knew I had done what I could for the family.
     
  19. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    You did the right thing. That poor guy. I can't even imagine the pain he is in. Good thing he is young and feisty.
     
  20. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Aug 8, 2011

    Woah, what his body has gone through & only 26 yrs old! I sure hope he has minimal problems throughout the rest of his life. By the way, yes I'm glad you went!
     

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