Should I apologize? WWYD?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Jerseygirlteach, Oct 22, 2014.

  1. Jerseygirlteach

    Jerseygirlteach Groupie

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    Oct 22, 2014

    Hmm...Not sure where to post this, but...

    My para didn't show up for the first 25 minutes of class this morning. She decided to help out another para friend with something school-related, but never asked me if it was okay or even informed me that she would be arriving to the classroom late. We have a pretty established morning routine that involves her assisting in getting the students off the bus, getting them to the classroom, and doing all the morning stuff - handing out breakfasts, taking the lunch count, assisting with morning work, etc. Because she wasn't there, I was doing it all by myself while managing my BD student's morning meltdown. I got frustrated and when a student asked me for help with his work I said something to the effect of "I can't help you right this second and I have no idea where Ms. P is" with a judgmental tone. It was at that exact moment that she walked in and gave me quite a look.

    I know it was unprofessional of me and I regret that. I'm slightly paranoid that she would complain about me to admin, but that would mean having to explain that she chose not to show up in the classroom for almost a half an hour without informing me of this choice.

    Anyway, do you think I should I apologize to her? Keep in mind, I'd only be doing this because I want to be professional, and I'm a bit afraid that this would open the floodgates to a full argument. Or, do you think I should go to my admin and explain what happened just in case she decides to complain about me?

    It's so awkward to me that we do not even pretend to be cordial to each other anymore and this morning's events aren't going to help. :(
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Oct 22, 2014

    She should be concerned that you might say something to admin.

    Tomorrow you might have a talk along the lines of how you value her help and support in the classroom and how you were taken aback a bit when she didn't show up. You might mention that you appreciate her helping a colleague but that it left you shorthanded in best helping your mutual students and that you would appreciate a heads up next time she can't fulfill her duties.
     
  4. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Oct 22, 2014

    I would apologize to her - we're all human and we make mistakes - but in the same conversation I would also bring up the fact that she left you hanging without the prior heads up. If she was supposed to get permission from you, then she's even at more fault. At the very least she should have told you since she's such an integral part of your classroom, especially in the morning.
     
  5. brigidy

    brigidy Comrade

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    Oct 22, 2014

    I would let it go. You didn't do anything wrong, so you don't need to apologize. I would start the day as normal tomorrow with a smile on my face. If she brings it up, tell her that if she can't be in your room she should be sure to let you know.
     
  6. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Oct 22, 2014

    If you feel like you must apologize, the only thing I would apologize for is saying something in front of students. Don't apologize for being irritated that she wasn't there. What would happen if you showed up 30 minutes late? Would your P be the one apologizing? No.
     
  7. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Oct 23, 2014

    She has a reputation of not being reliable (if I remember correctly). I would forget about it. I have a feeling she wouldn't want to say anything to admin because she'd be ratting herself out since she wasn't where she was supposed to be that morning. I don't think you said anything out of line.
     
  8. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Oct 23, 2014

    Even though you were justified in being irritated, you said something unprofessional... about her... to a student. Yes, you should apologize. Sincerely, and without conditions. Afterwards, make sure she is aware of your expectations regarding deviations from her normal routine.
     
  9. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Oct 23, 2014

    I don't see that as unprofessional. Maybe worded differently like, "I will help you as soon as Mrs. P arrives" would have been better but really not a huge deal. She was supposed to be there and you didn't know where she was. That was a fact not an opinion.

    I'm thinking the OP mentioned apologizing because she is generally a nice person to work with. Sometimes nice is what gets people showing up late because they think they can get away things (I'm assuming she didn't apologize for being late).
     
  10. LisaLisa

    LisaLisa Companion

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    Oct 23, 2014

    She was late. She left you hanging. You said something about her to a student who needed help. Unless you said it in an angry tone there is nothing to apologize for. If you do apologize it would be to the student for being snippy.
    I would not apologize to the aide. I would say something about being left hanging and having to explain to students why they could not get help. Tell her it created a safety situation.
    Apologizing to the aide shifts the power. She should be apologizing to you but good luck with that. The aide was wrong, not you.
    Don't let her behavior impact you so negatively. Your apology will detract from the real problem. Do not apologize and if it would cause an argument (I'm not sure why it would) say nothing.
    I'm also not sure why she would run to the admin about you? I've had para's like that in the past and they focus on drama and problems rather than the job. Do not forget you are the teacher. Do not shift the power and do not be intimidated.
     
  11. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 23, 2014

    I'd probably apologize to her that she heard me say it in that fashion or tone of voice to the student, but the para should be more concerned that I (the teacher) don't say anything to admin.

    (There's definitely no need to apologize to the student about anything. You were just replying to the student in the tone of frustration showing your frustration w/ your para.)
     

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