"She's too smart"

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by teacherkasey, Aug 6, 2003.

  1. teacherkasey

    teacherkasey Cohort

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    Aug 6, 2003

    I am on the fence about this situation and I wanted to get the opinions of others. I teach full day Kindergarten in a private day care center. We go all summer, although the summer is a lot more laid back and it's more like a summer camp (a lot of arts and crafts and class trips).

    I have a child in my room who has a lot of behavior and extreme anger management problems. I only have her for three more weeks before she moves to a new school. She started in the pre-K classroom where one of the teachers is her aunt. They worked with her a lot in that class but her social worker thought she should move up to the Kindergarten class over the summer with the rest of her class (we move our classes in June after graduation). Yesterday I was in my class by myself and had to physically restrain this child for 15 minutes. She was jumping all over the other children, climbing on the window sills, hitting, kicking, etc.:eek: ! She met with her social worker today and had an awesome day. The social worker told me that the child's main issue is her family life and that we can do the best we can do with her but her issues are much deeper than any of us can help her solve.

    I talked to her mom today and told her that she had a little bit of a problem in circle today. Mom said that she has two sisters, 10 and 12, who teach her and they teach her things so she gets bored during circle. In pre-K they didn't have her sit in circle, they set up a special area in the room so she could read books on her own while they did circle and she joined them when they were done. I can see the mothers point, that her child may be smart but I have other children who are smart and know the things we do in circle already. They sit and I level activities so all the children are challenged. I spend a ton of time working on plans and activities for my kids. I also have my children hld hands with a partner when they line up. SHe is always telling the children they are dirty or she doesn't like them. I told her to just walk with her partner in line, that she doesn't have to hold her hand.

    My question is, is this doing her a disservice because when she goes to public school in 3 weeks she won't really have much of a choice when and where she can participate? And what do I tell the other children in my class when they don't want to sit through circle? Or when they want to take their shoes off when they are playing outside (something else they let her do in pre-k)?:rolleyes: Some things are not set in stone and I am flexible with. However, do I have to change every one of my rules and procedures for this child???:confused:
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Aug 6, 2003

    Be glad you only have her for 3 more weeks- You're not going to change anything especially if her home life is not great! My response to parents who say these type things is: There are so many things to learn in school outside of academics. Perhaps we can work together to set some personal goals for your child. For instance: (social skills, school behavior, etc, etc)
     
  4. hillsidefogo

    hillsidefogo Companion

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    Aug 6, 2003

    I think you are right to be concerned about how this child will fit in in regular Kindergarten, but.. there is not much you can do in 3 weeks. I have had a similar situation in my K class and let the child go her own way for a week or two but gradually got her to join in all activities by making what we were doing soooo exciting (I'm sure you are doing the same) in this case you don't have the time needed to get her to change so I say just try to ride it out!

    I'm facing this same situation in 4 weeks with my new Kindergartens. I had 3 'preschool' sessions in the spring with this years K's and this child did everything;Painted a table with a glue stick, refused to come to the circle, threw a chair because she wanted me to read a book other than the one I had picked out, stood on a table and stamped her feet and ran away 3 times!! It's gonna be fun ...I'll be using all my Spec. Educ. knowledge, but I actually see children like her as a challenge, I really like helping them gain control and settle down. It's hard work but so rewarding.
    Good luck!
     
  5. Unregistered

    Unregistered Guest

    Aug 7, 2003

    Wow! All of you just described my adventure last year, only instead of painting the table with a glue stick it was taking the lids off of the glue bottles and then dumping it on the table. After having to clean up the mess a few times, he decided that taking the lids off wasn't such a great idea. I also had one who had a really hard time sitting still, and told many times that he didn't like it there because he was too bored. The only way that I found to keep him involved was to have him sit directly beside me and have him be my "assistant".

    As for the shoes being off outside, I can totally relate. Another teacher where I worked allowed them to take their shoes off all the time. I explained that shoes staying on is my rule since we don't always know what's in the grass and that if you choose to take your shoes off, then you can go sit on the steps until they're back on.

    I just want to say thanks for all the things everybody posts, I have gotten a lot of new ideas that I am excited to try out this fall!
     
  6. sunny

    sunny Rookie

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    Aug 8, 2003

    As you have her for only three more weeks I would leave her to the routine as upsetting her now is not fair on anyone.
    She should never have been allowed to have a seperate routine in the first place.
     
  7. teacherkasey

    teacherkasey Cohort

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    Aug 8, 2003

    Update

    If you didn't notice, there is a smiling face by the title of this message. I am happy not only for myself and my class, but also the child. We (myself, the pre-k teacher- the one who isn't her aunt- and my director) have decided that the child is going to be allowed to remain in pre-k if she wants to. If she has a day where she wants to be in K, she may come over but she must stay there the entire day and follow our rules or I am going to call her mother to pick her up. Somehow I don't see her ever wanting to come into my class.

    On the other hand, I feel for this child because there are going to be some major upheavals in her life over the next couple of weeks. Her social worker suspected possible abuse so child protective services is being called. The social worker that she so deeply trusted is no longer going to be working with her because if the child isn't taken from the home, the parents are not going to let her see the social worker again. And if she is removed from the home, she will be separated from her 4 siblings, her parents, her school and everything familiar to her. She will also be starting public school where she will be in a class of 25 kids instead of 15. I couldn't handle this... I don't know how a 5 year old with her problems is going to deal with it:eek: !!!
     
  8. mommaruthie

    mommaruthie Aficionado

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    Aug 10, 2003

    she will be fine

    you see the big picture. a five year old can not comprehend ALL of this and what it all means.

    I remember going on a vacation with my family and my dad said we had a long drive home and wanted to talk about the vacation. Each one of us said our favorite part. one child said the cherry blossoms, another said running in the rainstorm, another said the hotel pool, no one mentioned anything about the tourist attraction we went to. Being young will afford this child to NOT see the big picture but to find some favorite part along the way. if abuse is true, then she will enjoy the attention and warmth from someone else...ruth
     
  9. teacherkasey

    teacherkasey Cohort

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    Aug 30, 2003

    Update

    Well, this child started school on Wednesday and has been removed from her class 2 out of those three days. She was okay the first day, was taken out of her classroom by the principal the second day, and her mother was called to pick her up on the third. Her older sister is in class on the third floor and heard her little sister screaming on the first floor.:eek: She also told her older sister that she was going to go into the school and beat up the older kids who pick on her sisters, get kicked out of school, and come back to my class. This is a very smart girl who knows how to play the game... she knows her mother will have no choice but to put her back in my class if she gets kicked out of public school.

    As much as I wanted this child out of my class and I don't want her to come back, I want her to get the help she needs (and I am not qualified to do that for her...):confused: ...
     

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