She screams, kicks, pinches, slaps ....

Discussion in 'Behavior Management' started by letsteach, May 21, 2008.

  1. letsteach

    letsteach Comrade

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    May 21, 2008

    Today was a bad day. I am turning to you guys as I need help with a student. She is 5 years old, screams or shouts for no apparent reason during group focus time or any time. Today she dug her nails so hard into a girl who was sat next to her on the mat she drew blood (we took a photo of the injury). She put her bag back in her locker at morning tea but not after she had deliberately swung it and hit a child over the head (he was sat putting his shoes on). She did the same thing at home time when she got her bag and was returning to the carpet for the end of day routine. She walked up behind a boy and totally unprovoked slapped him full in the face with the palm of her hand. We have been recording the incidences and that was the last straw, I'm afraid I shouted at her (I was so angry, but she did stay where she was told to and didn't dare move). (The list today had 15 to 20 incidences and they are not small things that happen). I have seen her thump a child on the back, she turns around to annoy a boy who sits behind her on the carpet and slaps him in the face. We have a cool down time when the children just spend 10 minutes lying down after outdoor play. She went over to one child and placed her foot over their face as if to stand on it.
    She will get up from her place at the table, walk round the table just to hit a child. When patterning using peg boards she reached over to the boy sitting next to her and pinched his hand very hard. No child wants to sit next to her. There is no provocation so when she hurts the children they are totally unsuspecting. I have sat her betwen a quiet child who will not react and one who will. The quiet child did not react but asked to be moved away and even my little tough guy does not want to sit next to her. Every day I have 3 or 4 children crying because she's hurt them. They were sitting in line to go outside and she yanked the head of the child in front of her back. I have a duty of care to the other children and everything I have tried does not seem to be working. We have isolated her at group focus time but she lolls around the carpet not listening and therefore misses out on learning. We have shadowed her but she manages sly hits, digs and pinches.

    We have had focus sessions on gentle hands and feet, nice words, nice voices, being friends, being nice. There have been consequences for her behaviour and she knows what she's done to receive the consequences. Even the one girl she likes as a friend she hurts (today she made her cry because she hit her). Taking play time away does not help. I have talked to the mother who will not admit she is like this at home (even though her sister tells me she is). The mother does not want the father to know what is happening. She has a little brother so I think this could be attention seeking even if it is negative attention she is getting. The mother is a teacher in training and could offer no help or advice. I have asked the mother to come in and observe her daughter but she has no one to look after the little one. I want to reward good behaviour, praise and encourge it as that type of behaviour is more likely to be repeated, ie, focus on the positive but there is just soooo much negative behaviour.

    This is long but I need HELP!
     
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  3. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    May 21, 2008

    This child appears to be very angry and needs professional intervention of some sort. Do you have a school counselor? If you do, I would contact that person as soon as possible. The mother seems to be in denial, and that is only going to hurt her child. Seeing as you have tried everything possible, this really needs to be escalated to a counselor or person in a similar position. I don't know what else you can do in the classroom. From your post, you seem to have done everything "right" with no real response. This sounds like a very tough situation.

    One word of warning...be very careful not to "diagnose" the child. That will only serve to put the mother even more on the defensive.
     
  4. Exclaimation Po

    Exclaimation Po Habitué

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    May 21, 2008

    Wow.

    I have no suggestions. However, I am amazed at your patience! You deserve an award! Or chocolate.
     
  5. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    May 21, 2008

    You seem like a very patient teacher. If I were you I would seek the advice of an administrator. This just can't be happening to other kids. Maybe the principal or a counselor can set up a meeting with BOTH parents. Having one parent in the dark about this is not acceptable just because the mom doesn't feel like telling the father. 4 out of 6 of my students are like the one you are describing but they are special needs students and i'm assuming yours is a regular education classroom. Good luck.
     
  6. EMonkey

    EMonkey Connoisseur

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    May 23, 2008

    It would worry me that the mother does not want the father to know. Have you asked the little on about her reasons for the hitting and injuries to other children? I agree with the pre posters about using the school counselor. Do you have a PRIM Manuel at your school? There is a long list of possible solutions to a wide variety of behavior difficulties in that book.
     
  7. Calliope

    Calliope Companion

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    May 23, 2008

    Wow.

    I don't know how you are doing it. Every nerve in my being jumped to "that child needs a good spanking!"

    (No need for everyone to tell me how evil I am for thinking it. I already know.)
     
  8. Missy99

    Missy99 Connoisseur

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    May 28, 2008

    I'm wondering if the child is mimicking behavior.
     
  9. Mamacita

    Mamacita Aficionado

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    May 29, 2008

    Five is old enough to know better.

    What are the parents of your other children saying? I'd be livid if my child came home daily with injuries from another child. That child's home phone must be ringing off the hook with calls from rightfully irate parents of children who came home from school with bloody teethmarks on their bodies. Poor little kids! That mother (abbreviation for a compound hyphenated noun) is going to get sued one of these days.

    I think you should keep this little monster away from the other children. They've got rights, too. And what kind of administration would allow a child like that to mingle with the good children day after day, knowing she's going to genuinely injure them? What is this teaching the good children?

    Yes, I know I'm mean. But don't our sweet kids have any rights?
     
  10. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    May 29, 2008

  11. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    May 29, 2008

    reg ed teachers can't diagonose. unlawful and causes district major troubles. The minute you say, ADHD, the parent has a right to make the school get him tested, at the school's expense...and they can with due process. Even if it is true..nobody will be happy..(well, you might be, when they finally get him services, or moved out of your room...but don't hold your breath)

    the parent will swear up and down, you labled her child..if you put any words out there...

    no teacher union can save you...:unsure:
     
  12. letsteach

    letsteach Comrade

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    May 29, 2008

    We are isolating her at the moment. She eats at a table by herself (she was touching and putting other children's food in the bin), she sits on a cross on the carpet away from the other children at group time. She lost her playtime today - when the children were sitting on the carpet for group focus time she was standing and motioning as if to kick them in the face. We did have a good afternoon but that was because, I don't like to admit it, but I lost it with her. It has been one child after another complaining about her and I had witnessed her punch a child on more than one occasion.

    She has been told that she can join the others when we see her gentle hands, nice words and being a good friend.
     
  13. letsteach

    letsteach Comrade

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    May 29, 2008

    I will be taking advice from you guys and going to administration.

    I don't diagnose because I don't like labels.
     
  14. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    May 29, 2008

    I must ask have you documented your observations and reported them to admininstration? I don't know when you school year ends, but even if you finish in June, as we do here, you want help for this child for the next school year.

    Also, keep in mind, loose lips sink ships. That means, labeling can been seen as anything you say or mention to anyone in the building! And definitely never mention the child's name or direct behavior to another parent. If a child was injured, we write an accident report and say "your child was hit/bit by another girl/boy". We can never disclose who it was.

    I would keep my mouth shut, especially not mention name of child, and only discuss issue with supervisor.
     
  15. Zelda~*

    Zelda~* Devotee

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    May 29, 2008

    I had the same sorts of problem with a boy in my Head Start class this year. I had to isolate him a lot. It almost drove me crazy. Out of the two teachers in the room, I was the one he'd listen to, but only grudginly.

    Then I had to leave for Special Education Student Teaching.

    When I came back to say "Hi" to the kids, he hugged me about three or four times without saying a word. He *never* hugged me before.

    But I do feel your pain. :( It is hard.
     

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