Severe Weather Testing Procedures

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Falcon Flyer, Apr 2, 2009.

  1. Falcon Flyer

    Falcon Flyer Companion

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    Apr 2, 2009

    This was sent to me by my counselor today:

    1. Should a severe weather situation occur during testing, please remain calm. To display any kind of anxiety would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.
    2. Please do not look out the window to watch for approaching tornadoes. You must monitor the students at all times. To do otherwise would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.
    3. Should students notice an approaching tornado and begin to cry, please make every effort to protect their testing materials from the flow of tears and sinus drainage.
    4. Should a flying object come through your window during testing, please make every effort to ensure that it does not land on a testing booklet or an answer sheet. Please make sure to soften the landing of the flying object so that it will not disturb the students while testing.
    5. Should shards of glass from a broken window come flying into the room, have the students use their bodies to shield their testing materials so that they will not be damaged. Have plenty of gauze on hand to ensure that no one accidentally bleeds on the answer documents. Damaged answer sheets will not scan properly.
    6. Should gale force winds ensue, please have everyone stuff their test booklets and answer sheets into their shirts…being very careful not to bend them because bent answer documents will not scan properly.
    7. If any student gets sucked into the vortex of the funnel cloud, please make sure they mark at least one answer before departing…and of course make sure they leave their answer sheets and test booklets behind. You will have to account for those.
    8. Should a funnel cloud pick you, the test administrator, up and take you flying over the rainbow, you will still be required to account for all of your testing materials when you land so please take extra precautions. Remember, once you have checked them out, they should never leave your hands.
    9. When rescue workers arrive to dig you out of the rubble, please make sure that they do not, at any time, look at or handle the testing materials. Once you have been treated for your injuries, you will still be responsible for checking your materials back in. Search dogs will not be allowed to sift through the rubble for lost tests…unless of course they have been through standardized test training.
    10. Please do not pray should a severe weather situation arise. Your priority is to actively monitor the test and a student might mark in the wrong section if you are praying instead of monitoring. I’m sure God will put war, world hunger, crime, and the presidential primaries on hold until after testing is over. He knows how important this test is.
     
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  3. MrsPatten

    MrsPatten Comrade

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    Apr 2, 2009

    Hahaha We're getting out early today for severe weather so I copied/pasted and sent that to several members of our faculty! Thanks for sharing!
     
  4. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Apr 2, 2009

    I cannot WAIT to send this out to my department!
     
  5. Historyteaching

    Historyteaching Cohort

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    Apr 2, 2009

    I am SO sending this to co-workers!
     
  6. blindteacher

    blindteacher Cohort

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    Hahaha!

    Now my colleagues are wondering why I'm laughing so hard. Will have to forward this!
     
  7. Writer's Block

    Writer's Block Companion

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    Apr 2, 2009

    Awesome! Thank you. I am also sending this to my faculty!
     
  8. Missy99

    Missy99 Connoisseur

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    Ha ha ha -- even after Ike shut down our district for two weeks, I'm still lovin' it! Thanks!!!
     
  9. myKroom

    myKroom Habitué

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    That's HILARIOUS!!!!!! :lol:
    :rofl:
     
  10. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    Apr 2, 2009

    Ok i thought this was a serious thing until I started reading responses. I was thinking to myself shouldn't we be protecting the kids and be out in the hallway or something. Anyway thanks for the laugh. I am going to send it out to my friends.
     
  11. kilikena0310

    kilikena0310 Companion

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    HAHA... I got to number 5 before I realized this was a joke. In the meantime, I was like, O...M...G! Sometimes I feel like this could completely pass for the truth though.
     
  12. blindteacher

    blindteacher Cohort

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    That's what makes it so hilarious, KiliKena0310.
     
  13. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    lol...it took me a while too :) :lol:
     
  14. iheart5thgrade

    iheart5thgrade Comrade

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    Apr 3, 2009

    This is so funny because we had bad weather Tuesday and all of us teachers were wondering what would happen if we had to go into the hall for a tornado drill....would that be a testing IRREGULARITY? Hehe. I can't wait to send this to them so we can know to protect the test papers at all costs. :) :)
     
  15. MuggleBug

    MuggleBug Companion

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    Apr 3, 2009

    I still remember hearing for the first time that if a student vomits while testing, you have to package up the vomit-stained test booklet and send it to the state - so disgusting. That's why I also thought this was real until I read further down!
     
  16. treysmom

    treysmom Comrade

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    Apr 3, 2009

    I LOVED this! I posted it in our work room. About the one with blood getting on a document? We were told if a child throws up on his/her test booklet, it MUST be sent in-as is.
     
  17. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

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    Would anyone else be tempted to attempt to vomit on the booklets on purpose... just for fun?

    Ok, I couldn't/wouldn't actually do it, but the thought is hysterical to me :lol:
     
  18. Mr D

    Mr D Comrade

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    Apr 3, 2009

    :rofl: That's hilarious! I have seen this before but it was still nice to see it again!
     
  19. treysmom

    treysmom Comrade

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    Apr 4, 2009

    I actually did have a student throw up last year-missed the booklet by a hair!! Maybe we could add a few "rules"-this isn't a weather related one, but we have some teachers who are expecting at our school. Maybe they should include- If there are any teachers with child and the birth process is near, you will be expected to walk with your legs close together. However, do not, in any circumstance, sit with legs crossed. To do so would be a breach of security and must be reported.
     
  20. kilikena0310

    kilikena0310 Companion

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    Apr 4, 2009

    Send the test back with a nice little note attached to it:

    You told me to send it this way. Enjoy! :)
     
  21. LATechTeacher

    LATechTeacher Companion

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    Apr 6, 2009

    We got this in an email the second day of testing!! Thought it was too funny. Sometimes I feel like this might be right! My asst. p told us if a child got sick on a test, that we had to put it in a ziplock baggie and count it. Yuck!!! I think they take this WAYYY too seriously!:lol:
     
  22. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Apr 7, 2009

    Could have used this today. We actually had THUNDERSNOW here.

    :eek::eek::eek:
     
  23. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Apr 7, 2009

    :lol:

    This went around my school last year, but it's still hysterical.
     

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