Separation Advice from Fathers w/Kids

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by husker_blitz, Jun 3, 2011.

  1. husker_blitz

    husker_blitz Companion

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    Jun 3, 2011

    We told our three youngest children tonight that my wife and I are separating. This has been a hard night. Our son (12) didn't want to talk about it. Our middle girl (10) tried to be silly and our youngest daughter (8) was the most visibly upset. We've been good about keeping our issues more low key but I think our son knew what was coming. It still hurts to see them hurting.

    Any advice from other fathers with children? I could certainly use some right about now. :(
     
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  3. funshine2381

    funshine2381 Companion

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    Jun 3, 2011

    I'm a mother, not a father....but I hope it can be worked out between you and your wife. I'm so sorry...maybe you should try to get some rest tonight. Hug your kids if they are there.
     
  4. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Jun 3, 2011

    I'm not a father, but I did want to offer some advice from the point of view of a divorced mom.

    I have three boys, currently aged 12, 9 (10 later this month) and 9 (just turned 9 last month). My ex-husband has completely disappeared, and left when I was still pregnant with the little one, so my situation is very different from yours, but I still think I could add some insight.

    -No matter how mad you get at their mother, or she gets at you, don't stay away from your kids. Even if it's just an email or a phone call, talk to them every day. Don't ever say anything about your relationship with your wife to, or in earshot of your kids. Never, ever say anything even slightly negative about your wife if there's any chance that they could overhear you.
    -Remind them repeatedly that this has nothing to do with them.
    -Be honest. Tell them that you are very sad that you might not get to see them every day, but you're thinking about them constantly and you love them and nothing will ever change that.
    -Keep a journal. They might appreciate that when they're older.
    -You can never give them enough hugs.
    -They will be very angry for a while. Let them know that it's okay for them to feel that way. Tell them you would be worried about them if they weren't angry. It's hard to watch your life as you know it fall apart and be powerless to stop it.
    -Keep them informed of everything that's changing. Of course, things need to be kept age appropriate.
    -Don't stop being a father. It's easy to let guilt get in the way of good parenting. Don't give into their whims just because you feel guilty about the separation.
    -Expect them to act out in unexpected way. Continue to keep the discipline, but make an extra effort to stay calm and level headed. They will test you ever chance they get. There's a new order of things for them, and they will test their new limits with vigor, but if you stay calm and consistent, they will eventually come around.
    -There's no such thing as too many "I love you's".
     
  5. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

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    Jun 3, 2011

    I am sorry. .....3 kids and just now having issues? are these things something that can be worked out in counseling?
    I think there are a few things that would be hard to forgive a person but most things can be worked out...
    I will pray for your family
     
  6. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jun 3, 2011

    I have no advice, but just wanted to send my thoughts and prayers out to you.
     
  7. Harper

    Harper Companion

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    Jun 3, 2011

    MM's advice is spot on and brought tears to my eyes...
    Might I add - Always be present. Call if you can't be there, email if you can't call, then follow up with calls and visits. No matter what, never let them forget how much you love them and how important they are. Not for a single moment.
    I love the journal idea - I would also consider letters they can keep, lots of little notes, and maybe even a journal they read when they come to your house after being with their mom. A "hey, this is what I have been thinking when I could not talk to you..."

    That said, best wishes and much love for the difficult journey you have ahead.
     
  8. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Jun 4, 2011

    Not bad for a mom :) VERY well said

    husker_blitz First do your damnest to patch things up.
    if not:

    If it is at all possible try to use the same house rules in both houses
    Buy yourself and your wife the book Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child Paperback $14.03 amazon.com

    Remember your feelings do not count and neither do your Wife's
    only the kids' feelings do.

    You have to remember you will become a part time parent, a part time Dad or Daddy! You will miss out on many things and believe me you will not be able to "Make it up" ...

    Join a Fathers rights group so you have that resource if you need it.

    No Matter how Nice you think the separation/divorce will be It will never be nice. If you cannot live together now, how do you think you two can agree on parenting ?

    Right now the ages of your kids are the age that they need a dad the most.

    Has "family" had any thoughts on your impending divorce (I am using divorce because separation is just delaying the inevitable)

    It took me 7 years to get custody of my son but I did.
    Right now I see your son needing the most help, but your girls need you too!

    Think about it you will be now known as "husker_blitz, divorced dad"

    I may sound harsh but I have been divorced 3 times! I know what I talk about.
    I will put you in my prayers, PM me if you would like.

     
  9. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Jun 4, 2011

    I'm very sorry you and your children are going through this, husker_blitz. At least, though, you and your soon-to-be-ex took time to tell the children and let them know what was going to happen. My ex called me in the middle of the day and demanded "We need to talk!" That's when she said she didn't want to be married anymore, but (for some reason) I was the one that was supposed to leave the house. Our kids went to school that morning thinking everything was "normal" and came home to find Daddy suddenly gone. (My lawyer told me if I refused to leave the house, Princess could call the police and have me forcibly removed and that would mean not seeing my kids for a year. Being the dad does really SUCK in a divorce most of the time).

    When the kids asked where I was, she told them I was just going to be staying with grandma and grandpa for a "little while". Just one of many her many lies to them. Anyway, moving on.

    The MOST IMPORTANT thing to remember right now is that she is still the mother of your children and they are going to love her (and you) for that alone. How you two feel towards each other does not matter. Do not try to "taint" their relationship with their mom because of the problems you two are having. She should agree to do the same. NEVER say anything bad about her to them or around them. You two are the adults....you both will need to act like it while you're with the children.

    Also, do not say anything to your kids that you really want to say to their mom. My ex and I agreed to not "poison" the kids against the other (even though there was plenty of hostility between the two of us) and we honored that, for the most part. But, after about a year, my middle son told me "Mommy said you're lawyer kicked us out of the house." No...my lawyer sent a letter telling her she had to pay the mortgage (since she was living there), buy me out or vacate the premises so it could be rented. Mommy CHOSE to move out, but she had made that decision long before and already had a trailer set up on her parents property. So I told that to my son and also said some things that I REALLY wanted to say to her, because I knew he would repeat them. She did the same thing and this went back and forth for about a week. Then she called me and said "I want you to stop saying things about me to the kids." I told her I would stop when she did, then said, "You know, you're right. I would MUCH rather say these things directly to you"....so I did...for about an hour I told her everything I had been wanting to say about her since the day she destroyed our family. That was far more satisfying and it kept the children out of the situation. Since then, we've been very civil towards one another.

    My boys were 9, 7 and 4 when this happened. Here is what I did and have done over the last 5 years to let them know I was still in their lives.

    The day after being kicked out, I met the boys at school as they got off the bus and visited with them until they went to their homerooms. I continued doing that every single morning for the next 3 years when they were not with me. I only stopped last year when my student teaching placement put me too far away to visit them and still get to work on time.

    I've called the boys EVERY night when they are with their mother and still do. The only time I missed calling them was during the first couple of weeks of my extended hospital stay in 2008. I was extremely sick when I went in and suffered serious complications from my second surgery, resulting in a short coma and a long stay in ICU. Once I regained enough strength, I began calling them every night again from my hospital bed. Of course, my mom had called their mom to let them know how sick I was, so they knew why I wasn't calling every night.

    I kept a daily journal of EVERY interaction I had with the boys and their mother for 4 years, including a detailed list of EVERY visitation I got during the separation (when custody had not been determined). This kept a record of everything that was going on and gave me a place to vent my frustrations about things my ex was doing. It also gave me documentation to use when we finally went to court. I agree with others, though, that writing a reflective journal for each child about how much you love them, miss them and think of them each day would be a great thing for you and them both.

    You may also encourage your kids to write a journal of their own thoughts as well. My middle son took the divorce the hardest, but refused to talk about it to anyone, so I encouraged him to write down his thoughts - just for himself - in a little journal when he was with me. That helped him get some of those feelings out and start to sort through them. I also insisted all three boys receive professional counseling immediately after the separation. We did that, but they never would open up for the counselor very much either.

    I agree with Irish Dave about trying to have the same house rules at both places, if you can. That makes things far less confusing and also reduces the urge for them to play each of you against the other.

    Answer any questions they do have as honestly as you can. The kids will be able to tell if you are lying. There are some things you may not feel you can share (such as details about why you and mommy are separating). If you don't feel you can find a way to answer a question without speaking ill of their mom or her actions, just tell them that you can't really answer that right now, but you might be able to explain it a little better when they are older.

    My middle son has asked me several times "You hate mommy, don't you?" "No, son, I don't hate your mother. I don't like a lot of things your mother did, but that doesn't mean I hate her for doing them." It is very important to let your kids know the two of you still care about the other as a person, even if there is no chance of you being together as spouses (or even friends). Your younger ones especially still see things in black-and-white....if you don't "love" somebody, then you "hate" them. They will be confused about loving each of you as a parent, even though (in their eyes) there may be a reason to be angry and "hate" one (or both) of you because of the situation. As mmswm said, let them know it is OK to be angry AND to express that anger, if they need to. It will NEVER change how much either of you love them and it should never change how much they love BOTH of you.

    Mommy and Daddy will BOTH still be a part of their lives and they do not have to "choose sides" because none of this is their fault.

    As for reconciliation, that is up to you and her and you will have to decide if that is a possibility or not. Do NOT get back together "just for the kids". The situation will still be toxic and they will see that for what it is. Sometimes it IS better for the kids if mommy and daddy aren't living together anymore, but again, that depends on your individual circumstances and reason(s) for separating.

    In the meantime, show your children how much you love them every chance you get and do everything you can to let them know you ARE still a vital part of their lives every day, even if they aren't with you that day.
     
  10. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jun 4, 2011

    No experience, no words of wisdom.

    Just my sympathies and sincere best wishes.
     
  11. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jun 4, 2011

    I'm sorry. I was five when my parents sat us children down to tell us they were divorcing and I remember it well. I kicked my mother and told her it was all her fault. I then ran upstairs and packed up my little plastic shopping cart with my most important toys, including my Pound Puppies, and had intentions of running away to the creek. Of course I didn't know that it was her fault (although, funny enough, I've learned that's pretty accurate...maybe I had picked that up on some level through their arguments?), but I was angry with their explanation of "living in two different houses" and all that. My reaction was very, very out of character for me...I was never so disrespectful. I say this to let you know that what you and your wife do and say will likely be etched into their memories...I was only five, and your children are much older. So as others have suggested, just be aware of that.

    I am sorry. :(
     
  12. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    I think you have received some excellent advise. From the perspective of a teacher, I have seen some very damaging divorce situations, and some where the kids were hurt but were able to move on because the parents set up the environment and groundrules for their own behaviors which created a nurturing, supportive environment for their children.

    -In a nutshell, your children are your children, not your friends or sounding boards or support system so don't use them as such.
    -I keep hearing children say "mom's house" or "dad's house" and sometimes it feels like they don't have a home themselves.
    Try your best to create an environment that feels like home to them.
    -Don't spoil them because you feel sorry for them - they need the same consistent rules and consequences.
    -Don't try to be nicer than the mom or be the good guy - be on the same page discipline-wise.
    -Get help for yourself or your children if needed. Sometimes an outside counselor can have a clearer perspective and help you down a more positive path.
    -Protect your own rights - dads are important and it is more difficult for them in divorces so when you are fighting for yourself you are advocating for your children. Get a good attorney.
    -Nurture yourself and don't hold onto the hate for years.
    -Take time before introducing your children to other women in your life.

    It sounds like you love your children very much. Good luck to you all.
     
  13. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Jun 4, 2011

    If the two of you have decided that it's time to separate, then there have obviously been issues building for quite some time now, and you likely feel that things will not improve if you stay in the situation.

    But, like others have suggested, have you tried counseling? Is there pain there that can be worked through? Marriage is not easy, and many times it feels like a battle, but a separation will not be any easier. In fact, your children will be suffering a great deal. I am sure this is a last resort decision, and not one you and your wife are taking lightly. I don't want my post to appear as though I do not recognize that. DH and I did separate back in 2006 and it actually brought us closer. The separation lasted only 3 months, but we have been back together, and stronger, since. I hope the same will occur for you.

    I agree with all the posts that say you should continue to be a huge part of your children's life, something I am sure you are planning on doing. My heart really goes out to you because everyone's world in your house is being turned upside down. As a parent, we only want to see our children happy. I wish you the best in all of this, and remember you can always turn to us.
     
  14. MrsKP

    MrsKP Companion

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    Jun 4, 2011

    I am in the process of a divorce right now. We don't have kids or own a house, so things are relatively simple for us.

    My parents divorced when I was seven, my brother was five, and my sister was three. Maybe it's because my dad traveled a lot for his work anyway, but it was a relatively easy divorce. We (my siblings and I) didn't like being apart from my dad, but we got used to it. He called us every night, remained a stable part of our lives, and we went to his house at least once a week. He did not have any custody, but it worked for us, anyway. I am still close to both of my parents. They did a great job of making sure not to say anything negative about each other or put us in the middle of arguments. I say this just to let you know that not all divorces are traumatic, horrible experiences. My siblings and I all have a good work ethic, enjoy family, and turned out just fine. I pray that's the case for your family, too. Changes are hard, but people adapt. If you and your wife can help your children to adapt to the new situation in a way that is healthy, I am sure that you can continue to be a strong family, regardless of your marital status. They say the first 8 weeks are the hardest. Best wishes.
     
  15. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jun 4, 2011

    I'm sorry MrsKP that you're going through this.

    Though my parents never divorced, they were close a few times. I remember when I was 16/17, I sat them down and had them hash out everything, laid everything on the table. It was better after that, but it probably would have been better had they went ahead and divorced. They didn't want to because of me.

    Again, I am sorry husker that your family is going through this.
     
  16. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    I have no experience but I do teach children whose parents aren't together.

    One father in particular sticks out in my mind. This dad didn't have much of a relationship with his son before. This year his ex got a job and he is helping out more. He came when to school when he was star of the week and he came to a parent's luncheon with his ex. He picks him up from school everyday now. He lives a few towns away with no car, he takes a bus or a cab to school. I give him a lot of credit. I tell him all the time what a great job he has been doing.
     
  17. webmistress

    webmistress Devotee

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    Jun 4, 2011

    :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  18. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    I can't help to have tears coming out of my eyes as I'm reading these lines. The advice you have been given in these posts is great.

    I would just like to add one more thing. I'm married to a divorced dad whose ex has made every attempt in her power to control the communication he has with his son. Since we got married, she would block phone calls and there would be times where my husband wouldn't be able to talk to his son for a couple of weeks. If she got upset about anything she didn't get from my husband, she would refuse to give him any extra time with his son.

    I finally convinced my husband to take her back to court even though he was very afraid of her backslash but I just couldn't allow him to continue like this. I told him that at least he would show his son that he did everything in his power to spend more time with him regardless of what happens.

    It cost a lot of money and she was very very upset but at the end there was a much better parental agreement that allows my husband to stay in touch and spend more time with his son. Most importantly, his ex learned that she cannot longer use her son to control my husband. She is now more flexible.

    My advice is, do not buy into the saying that women have more rights and that there isn't anything you can do.

    One last thing, remember that you are still the father, not their friend. Even if you don't spend more time with your kids, they still need rules and don't give them anything they want to make up for the divorce. My stepson once refused to come with my husband because he didn't let him watch tv one day. My husband was devastated but he kept firm and now he knows that there are rules in our house also.
     
  19. husker_blitz

    husker_blitz Companion

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    Jun 4, 2011

    Thanks for all the advice. Sounds really helpful.

    Yes, my wife and I started counseling this past week although she really doesn't seem to like the guy. Through her work we can get three free sessions. After that we have to pay the $130/session. Things have been building for a while now. We've been together for about 18 years and married for half of that time. A lot of the issues are financial matters that have been mismanaged. I already know there will be some issues with parenting styles. I'm a lot stricter than she is and I think I'm pretty lax. We live in a really small town so I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I'll be honest, I'm worried how this may affect my reputation as a teacher here. But they are moving to another place here in the same town so I'll see the kids about as much as I do now. They have all been fairly quiet today about the whole ordeal although I know they are still hurting. My 8-year-old has given me countless number of hugs today so that has helped.

    But above all else, we are still really civil towards each other. Our goal is to work out the problems so we can get back together. It's just reached a point I cannot live in the current situation. Something has to change. It's gotten to the point I've lost respect for her and lost respect for myself for letting things get to this point. Hopefully things will work out for the best.
     
  20. TennisPlayer

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    That's great you're both going to counseling. I've been to different counselors and each one really was different so had to find a good match that made me feel relaxed and as comfortable as can be so I didn't feel more stressed about going there. it's important to find someone she and you both click with. I know some churches offer free counseling. You may want to explore your options where you live by calling around churches or a community health center may also offer free or reduced fees if you qualify.

    I think money issues can be worked out. I think divorce is only appropriate for some topics that revolve around abuse, violence, cheating, etc those kinds of things I would not want to still be married if that happened but money issues are common in every couple until they learn how to do things differently.

    I hope you both find a counselor who can help you work out these issues and know that it's through hard work, by talking and being open, and wanting to change things that may keep you both together. Look at the future you want. Do you want to be together, with your kids, and happy or ? I hope things work out for you.
     
  21. Jinkies

    Jinkies Rookie

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    Jun 5, 2011

    My parents divorced when I was 6 and my best advice is always be civil. Never say anything bad about their mom in front of your kids. Try to keep everything as "normal" as you possibly can. Try to at least talk to your kids once a day or so. I'm sorry you are going through this and I'm sending you hugs.
     
  22. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Jun 5, 2011

    You Know if most of your problems are money ones, a divorce/ Separation is more expensive: two Houses/Apartments, Groceries for two places, Kids' Bedrooms for two places, Two Main Vehicles, Income taxes will be affected, Child care.....
    Whoever moves out will need/want a place near the original home to facilitate the kids and rent may be higher near your original home.

    Go for Shared Custody with a "residential parent" never use the words "Custodial Parent" it make the other parent a second class parent. Decisions about summer camp, sport teams, Scouts, sleep overs, will take on a "Paris peace talks" atmosphere.
    If you are talking about [-]custody[/-] (call it residential time) take the first and third Weekend and any holiday with the weekend, Give her any fifth weekend (most 3 day holidays are on the 1st & third Weekends) Mother's day is a second weekend and Father's day is a third weekend.
    Define what a weekend is (end of school Friday or last school day before the weekend TO the start of school Monday or first school day after weekend) cuts down on face time with ex.
    To whoever the children are going to is responsible for transportation. if you want the kids you pick them up if she wants them back she pickes them up.

    See how complicated it can get!!! and I have not even touched on a third of the things you AND your wife will encounter.

    And if one of you starts a new relationship Oh don't get me started....

    the old saying "it is cheaper to keep her" is so right

     
  23. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    My parents divorced when I was 13. My brothers were like 11 and 10. It was a relief. Mom was an alcoholic and it was terrible.
    I married for 25 years and never thought about leaving or getting a divorce. We were together five years before we married. She told me many times I would find someone and leave her (well over the course of 30 years maybe a dozen times). It was ludicrous to me. Being a teacher I was able to spend MUCH time with my kids. Took them to school for six years and I was their PE teacher and even reading teacher at times. I had them in the summers and in many other ways. This while married. My wife was a fine person. Smart, hardworking, a good mom etc. She was nice to me. But early on and for the next 20 something years lets just say "I became a chore" and the last chore on the list. We will leave it at that. Being a shy person but working around ladies forever I never broke the traditional marriage vow but we actually had completely different wedding vows. Maybe that made it oK. Well, one day I saw someone working with me (had for awhile) LOOKING at me and I became someone totally different. We are now married with 2 kids. And believe me
    the grass is not always greener but....................
    My first two kids were 13 and 18 when I left. The 18 (she) didnt talk to me for 2 years. It almost killed me emotionally. The 13 year old and even spent more time together than before.
    I should never have left my kids. But I was lost or deluded or
    whatever. I accept complete responsibility for it but I never gave up on my kids and stay in their lives. The ex apologized to me for it and we have a very good relationship. My advice.
    Take care of your kids no matter what happens. Dont leave if you can stay.
    Then insane thing about my life is that my only fear was raising my kids to be old enough to live without me when I passed on.
    THEN I go and have two more at fifty. The other things is I HATE TO HURT ANYONE but then I did it in spades. Life is never simple.
     
  24. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Jun 5, 2011

    You have been given such terrific advice that I don't have much to add. I will reiterate the need to be civil and even friendly if you can. My husband and I divorced when our daughter was 2 1/2. She's almost 16 now, and she has repeatedly told me how much it means to her that we are friendly.

    My mother gave me words of wisdom that I will always remember: When you make a decision, make it as a parent first. It won't always be easy, it won't always be what you want to do, but it will always be RIGHT. With that in mind, I hope that you avoid the trap that many people fall into and immediately start a relationship with someone else. You must give yourself time to grieve and heal from this. My therapist said that it's recommended you stay single for at least 2 years from the time of the DIVORCE (not just the separation). You'll be healthier, your kids will be happier and more settled, and you're more likely to be successful in the next relationship if you wait. People struggle with that because we feel rejected when we get a divorce (even if we initiate it), but you'll make better choices if you wait. Also, this is your chance to teach your children how to end a relationship in a healthy way. Show them that it's about fixing you by working on you, not by finding someone else. So many people believe that they can't be happy unless they are with another person, and that's a recipe for disaster. Show your kids that in order to love someone else, you have to love yourself and be comfortable alone.

    Finally, as bad as you think it will be on your kids, expect it to be 10x worse. Their anger and frustration will manifest in many ways, and with your 8 year old, you might not see it for some time. Get them into counseling as soon as possible.
     
  25. husker_blitz

    husker_blitz Companion

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    Jun 5, 2011

    IrishDave, yes we have certainly considered the financial ramifications of this. But the split is not completely about money. There are some differences we just can't get past at this juncture. There's no 'other' person to factor into the equation...heck the intimate stuff is one thing we get right. :eek: We have different parenting styles and different priorities and different conclusions on the last 16 years. The financial aspect was simply the tipping point.

    Again, I appreciate all the advice so far. It has helped to vent a little.
     
  26. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Jun 5, 2011

    I also agree completely with waiting before starting another relationship. One thing I realized I did wrong in my marriage was always giving in and/or letting my ex have her way or get whatever she wanted. I always put myself and MY wants last in the relationship and was fine with that, but now I see how it helped lead to some of the resentment I felt when she still betrayed me despite my trying to give her everything she wanted.

    Now I am very up front about who I am and what I like - and don't like - with the women I see. I'm also very cautious about any "warning signs" that I overlooked with my ex.

    For instance, when I was in the hospital during early April, the lady I've been seeing (casually) showed up at the ER. I was flattered she came by. She had been called by both of my aunts (whom she knew very well) and my mother telling her I was in the hospital. Later, I found out none of them called her (so I don't know how she knew I was there). While I'm glad she came by, the fact she lied about family members calling to tell her the knews makes me very cautious going forward.

    I also had a very strange incident right after I separated. There was a girl working at one of the stores I stopped at on my delivery route that obviously had an interest in me, and I in her. Of course, there was no possibility of pursuing it (in my mind) while I was married. We had some light, playful banter, but that was it. But once I was separated, I decided to ask her out. She became VERY hesitant and, to this day, still treats me like committed some terrible wrong to her. :confused: I just don't get that. Apparently, she was more interested in me because I was married, because as soon as I was actually available, her entire demeanor towards me changed. :dunno:

    As an only child, I am perfectly content being alone. That doesn't mean I never want another companion in my life, but I will definitely be more careful and more selective before reaching that level again.
     
  27. sweetlatina23

    sweetlatina23 Cohort

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    Jun 5, 2011

    You are in my thoughts and prayers, especially your children.

    I have no personal experience with separation or divorce, but I know that the oldest is probably going to take it the hardest. Be strong, but expect some behavior changes. Your middle child will act immature, because it is a comfort that she has. You youngest, we assume is always unaware yet is the one that is so in touch with everyones feelings. Touch is so important for the three. Even if they act out their feelings, laugh out their feelings, or show their feelings...just BE THERE. It might be very hard living in another home/town, but no matter how strict you are...they need you!

    Their whole sense of being is breaking apart, it is no ones fault. Do not blame yourself, sometimes there are differences in people that no one can explain. For all you know you and your wife might work through this, God willing. Whatever happens though, just be there. You are in all our prayers. Remember: Don't Worry About Anything, but Pray about Everything

    Philippians 4: 6
     

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