Seniors going off to college

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Aliceacc, Jun 17, 2012.

  1. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jun 17, 2012

    Another post reminded me of this.

    I know that a number of our members are parents of graduating seniors. And I want to give a reminder of something that may not have come up.

    As part of our Senior Seminar at the end of the year, each of our kids is given a blank Health Care Proxy. Basically, it's a legal document giving permission for another person to make medical choices in the event that the patient is unable to do so for himself.

    As hard as it is to belive, those graduating seniors are, or will soon be, 18 years old. As a result, mom and dad can no longer make those medical decisions without a proxy.

    God willing, it will never be necessary. But it's an important rite of passage.

    I have one-- I filled it out before my mastectomy, and it names Peter as the person who can make decisions for me. It's in the file cabinet, with the wills and all the other important papers. Peter has one too, he filled it out before eye surgery. And when each of our kids turns 18, they'll have one too.
     
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  3. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Jun 17, 2012

    Thanks for this, Alice; I'll add it to my long list of things to do before Lauren leaves.
     
  4. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    I still have one more year to get ready, but there's so much to do! Ugh. :( Thanks for letting me know about this.
     
  5. Ross

    Ross Comrade

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    Jun 17, 2012

    This is a very good idea.

    For example, colleges are expert at denying parents any information about your son or daughter while at college. But if your son or daughter gives written permission to the school, you are now allowed access.

    The same thing in health care. You do not want in the midst of an emergency to battle administration as to the health care of your child.

    Thanks for the reminder. I am printing out our form now.
     
  6. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Jun 17, 2012

    Our state also requires a meningitis shot We did that last week along with a tetanus update. I also put my name on his checking account so I could keep tabs on it.
     
  7. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Jun 17, 2012

    Can someone provide me with a link to the form--remember, I'm in a different country, although Lauren is going to school in the States.

    We've opened a bank account on campus and we'll be linking it to our accounts hre so that we can add more money if need be.

    We'll be making photocopies of all identification--driver's license, passport, student card, birth certificate, etc. before she leaves so that we have all of the information at our fingertips (we learned this after my son lost all of his ID the first week he was away at school).
     
  8. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jun 17, 2012

    Mrs C, apparently the forms vary by state, and I'm on the "bad" computer that refuses to cooperate.

    Google "PA health care proxy" or whatever is appropriate to the state Lauren will be in.

    And, for the record, this is something all adults should have as well.
     
  9. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Jun 17, 2012

    When I went to orientation with each of my daughters this was something covered in the parent meetings. We were also able to have the girls give us access to talking to the scholarship office; this was invaluable one quarter when a National Merit payment was not made on time by the administrator and she couldn't get admittance to her lab for coursework.
     
  10. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    My husband went to the financial session at orientation, so I'll have to ask him about that. Lauren has given us access to the financial "stuff" as well.

    I'll look for that form after my reports are done.
     
  11. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jun 17, 2012

    I finally got the good computer. (I haven't been waiting all this time; we went out to a Hibachi place for dinner.)

    Here are the forms for all 50 states:
    http://www.legalhelpmate.com/health-care-directive-state.aspx

    What I don't know is whether you use the one from your state of residence (which makes more sense to me) or the one from the state in which you'll attend college.

    Anyone know?
     
  12. PCdiva

    PCdiva Connoisseur

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    Jun 17, 2012

    I'm 28 And don't have one...never thought about it but will now since you mentioned it. I'm curious though, on all the doctor shows ( I know they're fake) they contact family members, etc. So if some thing were to happen to me and I didn't have one would they really not honor my mothers opinions /recommendations?
     
  13. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Here's my understanding of the basic history of Health Care Proxies:

    A member of a religious community was terminally ill, and no longer capable of making his own choices or of making his wishes known. The medical community wanted to put him on life support, with the intention of prolonging his life, with no statistical chance of curing him, indefinitely. The members of his community went to the state Supreme Court to get the right to make decisions for him-- in this case, to refuse treatment that would prolong his life though extraordinary means. They won that right and he was removed from the respirator.
     
  14. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Jun 17, 2012

    I'll have to check into that and find out whether I need one from the state where she's going to school or from here in Ontario. (Thanks for the link!)
     
  15. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    From the court document:

    Primary Holdings:
    -A patient's common-law right to determine the course of his own medical treatment is paramount to the doctor's obligation to provide needed medical care.
    -Clear and convincing proof is required in cases where it is claimed that a person, now incompetent, left instructions to terminate life sustaining procedures when there is no hope of recovery.
    -An individual who was never competent at any time in his life is considered still a child and a parent may not deprive a child of lifesaving treatment, however well intentioned.
    -Neither the common law nor existing state statutes require persons to seek prior court approval in cases involving discontinuance of life sustaining treatment for incompetents.
     
  16. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Jun 17, 2012

    Another way to look at it, PCdiva, is to imagine whether you'd want your mother having to decide whether to discontinue life support on you in the absence of some document indicating your preferences one way or the other.
     
  17. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Are these documents the same as advance (advanced?) directives and living wills?

    Having such a document on file could be really helpful if you have several family members who could potentially be making decisions on your behalf. Sometimes all the children or siblings or parents might not agree on what should happen. A document that you prepared ahead of time outlining your wishes or designating one trusted individual to act on your behalf could prevent a lot of problems. Ten years after the death of my grandmother, there are still hard feelings among a few of her children because they couldn't agree on how to handle certain issues while she was very ill and after she died. It affected our whole family in a really negative way.
     
  18. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    As I understand it, a living will states your wishes.

    A health care proxy gives someone else the right to make the decisions that they think you would have made, in a situation in which you haven't stated your wishes.
     
  19. PCdiva

    PCdiva Connoisseur

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    Jun 17, 2012

    Well the heath care proxy IS giving her the power to decide. That is the point of it as I understand.
     
  20. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Jun 18, 2012

    If you can prove that your child is a financial dependent, the school can also provide you with information.
     
  21. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    Jun 18, 2012

    I think TG was pointing out that you might want to consider an advanced directive or living will so that your mom would know your wishes and NOT have to deal with making that difficult decision. The health care proxy gives here the right to make those decisions, but you might want another document so she knows your wishes.
     
  22. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Jun 18, 2012

    Can I add something here?

    As a new college employee, it is true that we cannot release any information about students to ANYONE, without the proper release. Make sure any college your children go to gives you the proper FERPA form to fill out.

    Without that form, we cannot divulge ANY information about a student. No grades, no test results (we are a COMPASS site), nothing. We cannot even tell a parent where a student is in class. If someone asks, "Where is English 1010 being held?", I can answer that. But if that person says, "Billy Smith is in English 1010. Where is he?", I cannot. It's crazy, and as an employee, it stinks. Trust me, I'm a parent too, and having to tell a fellow parent that I cannot give them information about their child is terrible. This is especially uncomfortable when a parent of a dual credit (high school) student calls. I get the inevitable "But I'm PAYING for the $&*# class!" Yes, I am aware of that, but I'd like to keep my job. My standard answer is, "But you wouldn't want just anyone to be able to get information about Billy, so in order to protect that, we have to protect his information from everyone."

    It rarely makes anyone feel better.

    Just make sure Billy fills out the form, make sure your name is on there, and I'll be happy to tell you whatever you want to know!
     
  23. bison

    bison Habitué

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    I don't have a living will since I have very few assets and I'd want them all to go to the person they would go to anyway (my mom). Instead, we've talked about my wishes in scenarios where I would be unable to voice them, including death. It's uncomfortable, but important.
     
  24. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    A living will is the document where you say what sorts of treatments you do or don't want in the event that you are unable to voice your own wishes. It's not really about assets--that's just a plain old will.

    (At least this is how I understand things. I really wish that we had classes that covered these sorts of things in high school or college.)
     
  25. bison

    bison Habitué

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    Good point, my mind wandered a little there. My intention was just to say that we've discussed many different scenarios, including but not limited to death.
     
  26. PCdiva

    PCdiva Connoisseur

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    I guess in order to that I would have to know what my wishes were. Not something I have really thought about. Unfortunately two young people in my town passed away this weekend putting into view that this really is something that should be thought about.
     
  27. yarnwoman

    yarnwoman Cohort

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    Thank you for sharing this! I was talking to my kids(one will be a junior and the other a sophmore) after I saw this post. I was telling them that since they attend college 5 states away they need to have these forms filled out. Both kind of poo-poo'd it. Then today the youngest came down sick and passed out. We had to call 911. The EMT's brought up the fact that since he was 18 yrs. it did not matter what I wanted it was up to him if he wanted them to transport him to the ER. He is doing ok, bronchitis and he had what they called a vasovagal syncope episode. The vasovagal syncope is finally a name to this fainting he does when he gets sick! After we got home and I picked up the older one from work I again talked with them about this form and they said they now understand why this health proxy is important to have!!!!! SO We will be filling these out before they return to college!
     
  28. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Jun 22, 2012

    Vasovagal syncope is the most common form of syncope. It may be advisable for him to see a cardiologist to determine if there are any other causes of it.
     
  29. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    I have vasovagal syncope, yarnwoman, and I had to have a pacemaker but in because of it! PM me if you want to talk about details.
     
  30. yarnwoman

    yarnwoman Cohort

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    Thank you both. We are seeing our regular doctor on Monday and we will definitely be asking what we do from here. This is the 3rd time since he was in 8th grade that this has happened. In 8th grade, he did this and turned blue. When the medics got there he was still blue but responding. during that illness we visited the er many times for him fainting or almost fainting. Then when he was a junior in HS he got swine flu and fainted again. ANother trip to the ER. Now here we are another two years down the road and he gets sick and faints again. The other times the drs said it had to due just with him being sick. But then again the drs could not figure out what he had in 8th grade. We went through a battery of tests and they even called st. jude's to get help with a diagnosis. We even were told that because of white counts that he had leukemia. So this time we are going to ask the dr. what we due from here.
     
  31. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Jun 23, 2012

    Try to see a Cardiac Electrophysiologist. You may want an in-depth look at his heart (EKG, Echocardiogram, MRI/MRA of the heart, Stress Test, etc.) especially if there is any family history of heart issues. It may take a while to find a cardiac electrophysiologist. In my state (NJ), which has a LOT of nice hospitals and doctors, only has something like 19 in the entire state. I see one to manage my premature ventricular contractions which appeared after a seizure in 2007.

    Has he ever seen a neurologist? Might also be worth getting an EEG for peace of mind.

    Also it might be good if the GP gives a full blood panel (i'd remmeber name but it is 3 AM) to check levels of stuff in the blood i.e. neutrophils or w/e it is
     

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