Self Esteem

Discussion in 'Behavior Management Archives' started by jkkroll, Aug 27, 2005.

  1. jkkroll

    jkkroll Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2004
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0

    Aug 27, 2005

    I know I am going to open a can of worms here but many of my collegues and I have the same question.

    Why should a child have a feeling of self-esteem or good self-worth if they are always misbehaving?

    Maybe the reason schools are having such issues with students' behavior is because everyone is so focused on making sure a child never feels bad about him or herself.
     
  2.  
  3. Malcolm

    Malcolm Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2005
    Messages:
    2,100
    Likes Received:
    3

    Aug 28, 2005

    Looks like you scared everybody off. I'll take a bite. I think self-esteem is overated. If a kid doesn't measure up to standards, he shouldn't feel good about how he is doing. Self-esteem should come as a result of performance. There may be different standards of performance for different kids because of inate differences in ability. But no kid ever got educated by feeling good about himself.
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,956
    Likes Received:
    2,108

    Aug 28, 2005

    Try this- A child MAY be misbehaving because of feelings of low self-esteem. They may not feel significant and belonging so they might misbehave in order to gain attention, a sense of power or revenge, or may be misbehaving out of feelings of failure. YES, your first task is to deal with the misbehavior-quickly- so you can get back to teaching but later consider what the underlying factors may be that are causing a child to continually misbehave. For example I had a child last year who was ALWAYS calling out, seeking attention. I made it very clear that I would not accept this behavior (I ignored his answers and gave praise to a child who raised his hand with the SAME answer, talked to the kid, put him on a behavior contract...) My interventions and his maturing over the course of the year helped alleviate SOME of his misbehavior but bottom line he was not getting the attention he needed at home. I can't fix what's gong on at home- my job is to teach children to behave correctly in class so everyone can learn. Knowing the underlying cause (need for attention) steered me towards positive reinforcement/attention/ acknowledgement for his correct behaviors- this also helped.
     
  5. Cristin

    Cristin New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2005
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0

    Aug 28, 2005

    Hey all~
    Personally, I think there is a huge difference betweeen praising the kids for EVERY little thing they do and praising kids when they show a real effort. I see parents and teachers going ga-ga over the slightest thing and then when you don't, the kids look at you and say things like "well, I cleaned up my stuff and no one even noticed". Ummm, hello. You SHOULD clean up your space, unless you have a circumstance or severe disability that makes it impossible for you to do so on a regular basis. I notice that some are my students depend on being praised every step of the way, and doing any real work is quite an effort.
    I praise my students for their hard work and effort, whether or not they succeed, but I refuse to praise them for every mediocre day-to-day task that they perform. I am happy to say "thanks for vacuuming, that makes this classroom look really nice" or thanks for picking up the pencils, that was helpful, but I try to refrain from the constant "GOOD JOB TIMMY!" That gets stale.
    My students know they work hard in my classroom, but they love it, and they continuously impress me by living up to the challenge, but sometimes it takes time to wean students off that need for constant praise. I have one middle schooler that says, "you never say I do blah blah blah" when you praise another student, who has shown great improvement, perseverence, or effort on a particular day. Thats a pretty needy kid, who is very used to getting praise left and right. Last year, he did not work up to his potential, and I know that kid has more to offer, but that need to be praised every step of the way is definately a hindrance. However, it is MY JOB to give him what he needs, so i try to figure out how to increase his self worth without depending so much on others.
     
  6. jkkroll

    jkkroll Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2004
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0

    Aug 28, 2005

    I totally agree with this statement. My concern is with the children who at home can do no wrong, are constantly getting their way, throwing tantrums when they don't, with parents who are totally clueless on how to set boundries. I am pretty sick of trying to deal with their sense of over done self-worth. It seems like no one ever says to these children "Hey, quit acting like that. It isn't cute." I feel like we, as teachers, have to be so careful that we don't crush some child's spirit when they are totally acting out of control.
     
  7. Cristin

    Cristin New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2005
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0

    Aug 28, 2005

    By the way how did you get that cute bumble bee and apple??? I want one!!!!!!!!:rolleyes:
     
  8. jkkroll

    jkkroll Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2004
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0

    Aug 28, 2005

    I think I got it from the place where you edit your profile.
     
  9. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,956
    Likes Received:
    2,108

    Aug 28, 2005

    Definitely set limits- you can do it without crushing a child's sense of self-worth- they NEED limits!!


    The bumble bee and apple and little chalkboards you see next to peoples' names are called 'avatars'. Check on the forums guidelines/tips section. You need a certain number of posts, I think, to get one. Keep posting!! :)
     
  10. Cristin

    Cristin New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2005
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0

    Aug 29, 2005

    Oh yeah, you are sooooo right that kids need limits. Honestly, they can't thrive without them because they don't know what to expect and spend alot of time and energy testing them.
    Praise is just another thing that we need to set limits on!
    OK. i will post and see what happens. Maybe I will get an option for a cute icon.
    My own kids start back ot school tomorrow. I have alot of work to do on my classromm and thankfully, we begin after labor day. WHere oh where did the summer go??????
    rest up all!
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. mrsf70,
  2. Missy
Total: 243 (members: 5, guests: 222, robots: 16)
test