Schwarzenegger

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by Ms. I, May 17, 2011.

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  1. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    So, what does everyone think about him having this baby w/ his staffer 10 yrs ago & paying child support all this time w/o his wife ever knowing?

    To me, not surprising, it's just another man who had an affair, but it's such a disgrace. Not only was I raised to not be surprised by man's actions, but a woman shouldn't speak (out loud) about how she knows or trusts her husband so well. She just may end up eating her words. If a wife has a good husband, great, she should keep it under her hat.

    Regarding her not knowing about him paying support all that time, she must have him handle all the finances or in their case, she's too wealthy to be bothered & let's her acountants & financial advisors handle it all.

    Their poor kids.
     
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  3. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Seriously?

    You really believe that all men are dogs? Wow.

    I'll shout it from the rooftops-my man is a wonderful, trustworthy, honest, respectful human being, and I'm lucky to share our lives together.

    As for Schwarzenegger, another case of nunya.
     
  4. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    :yeahthat:
     
  5. John Lee

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    All men are dogs. It's simply a matter of availability & opportunity.
     
  6. TeacherApr

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    I'm disappointed but also embarrassed for Maria. I mean right under her nose and didn't even know it!

    But yes, I also agree that it really isn't my business or anyone else's! Let them handle their situation privately.
     
  7. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Uh, where did I say ALL? Of course, there's always an amt of genuinely good men out there, just like there's an amt of good women out there.

    If I thought ALL men were dogs, I'd say, no woman should bother getting married because she'll eventually get divorced due to infidelity on his part.
     
  8. Cerek

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    May 18, 2011

    Let's not forget the staffer was also cheating on her spouse. She is as guilty as Arnold, in my opinion. For every man that cheats on his wife, there is usually a wife that is cheating on her man as well.
     
  9. Cerek

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    Wrong! I had both opportunity and availability more than once. I even had one incredibly attractive and voluptuous sales rep make very open and direct advances towards me. I stayed true to my wedding vows.

    My ex, on the other hand, didn't have that same level of commitment and did take advantage of her opportunities....on more than one occasion and with more than one person.
     
  10. TeacherShelly

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    My husband is 100% trustworthy and I'm not afraid to say so.
     
  11. webmistress

    webmistress Devotee

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    Well Arnold put his business out there for the world to see so that's why so many people are discussing it.
    I also agree with Ms I that a woman or any person can eat their words when they say "my husband, wife, or my child would never do such & such." Even as parents we have to be careful when stating what our children would never do, so its the same for spouses.
     
  12. Cerek

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    Yes, Arnold is the celebrity in the affair, but that doesn't make the woman any less guilty of cheating or any less deserving of the same criticism and ire he is receiving. They both had a child through adultery and, if I understand correctly, raised that child as a playmate with his half-siblings without ever telling him they were related.

    Again, they are both equally guilty for this relationship and the consequences it has caused.
     
  13. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    May 18, 2011

    This is far more sad than the original story.

    I'm more than happy to say, for anyone and everyone to read: I have far more than a "good" husband. He's a wonderful husband, father, teacher, human being. He'll never lie or cheat or steal. If I were unwilling to shout that from the rooftops, then I would have been wrong to get married in the first place. I would NEVER have married Peter had he not been willing to place that same trust in me. If there's no trust in a marriage, then there should be no marriage in the first place. When we said "forsaking all others" we both meant it. And I know in my very heart that it's a vow we'll both keep until we die. End of story.

    And I'll go out further on that limb and state that my kids are people well deserving of my trust as well. Yes, they'll occasionally make mistakes and have lapses in judgement as they grow. But they're good kids, and they'll be good adults. I'm not at all concerned about having to eat those words.

    For what it's worth, having to eat her words is the very least of all the issues Maria Shriver is dealing with.

    And I agree: it's NOT "just another man having an affair." He wasn't alone. It was another man AND ANOTHER WOMAN having an affair and cheating on their spouses. The difference is that he's a high profile and she isn't.
     
  14. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    I've been in a conversation about trusting my husband and trusting my husband's financial sense on this board before ... the result was not productive.

    So, all of the things that I want to write about the original post will not be written.

    As for Arnold and Maria's family, may they someday come to peace. None of my business.
     
  15. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I know, KU and I admire your restraint.

    I'm just concerned that someone-- anyone-- lurking here and not knowing the history, might take the lack of disagreement to mean that that one view is representative of all of us. Or, even worse, of teachers in general.

    And I have a real problem with my husband and my son and my late dad, and all the wonderful guys on this board and in my life, being disparaged simply because they were born male.
     
  16. JustMe

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    I hadn't heard this. It's sad. It's sad that money can, at least temporarily, seem to resolve so many problems.
     
  17. swansong1

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    I am also married to a man I will trust forever. Before I married him I observed how he treated his sisters and mother. That told me LOADS about his character.

    I am not convinced that Maria was in the dark. I think the wife usually knows. We will never know how she chose to handle it because we only hear about the sensational side the media chooses to portray.

    I have the utmost admiration for Maria, regardless of this story. She is a class act!
     
  18. JustMe

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    I wouldn't be concerned that anyone would take any one view on this board, especially in the time-out forum, and assume teachers in general share that opinion.
     
  19. KinderCowgirl

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    She's also a Kennedy and is probably used to a little denial or ignoring facts to keep the idea of their family intact. She waited until he was out of office and the kids were grown to leave which I rbelieve is very classy.

    I also wouldn't just vilify the staffer. Sometimes when their job in on the line people do things they wouldn't necessarily do otherwise. If she was approached by him and works for him, that's a very tough situation. I just don't think we know even 1/2 the facts in the situation.
     
  20. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    And, I admire you, Alice. I love what you wrote.
     
  21. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    May 18, 2011

    Wow.

    It's sad mostly for the children involved. Maria is a smart woman who will land on her feet...Arnold improved his class status when he married her, but showed his ( his, NOT men's) true colors in the end.

    I'm married to a good guy. Great husband, supportive father, great American. There are plenty of things I am sure he would 'never do', as well as knowing for certain how he DOES do many wonderful things for our family and for others.

    Making sweeping statements about men (or any grouping of people) closes one's heart to opportunities for deep and trusting relationships. That's sad.:(
     
  22. MissCeliaB

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    May 18, 2011

    My husband is amazing, even on his bad days. (One of my friends always says, "I always love my husband, I just don't like him all of the time...")

    I trust him to make decisions that are best for our family. I also trust him to discuss everything with me first. Rarely do we disagree about the big stuff, though we're redoing our budget soon and that's likely to get... interesting. Maybe it helps that we teach together, carpool, and sponsor the same clubs so i literally know where he is all the time! ;)
     
  23. Kindergarten31

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    I have never, for one second, not trusted my husband. And no, I am not a fool. I believe that most men do have integrity and those that don't probably never will. My husband always quotes Paul Newman--"Why would I go out for hamburger when I have steak at home".

    I also heard on the news (so take it with a grain of salt) that Maria and Arnold kept totally individual finances and neither really knew about each other; that the woman's husband died and Maria thought the child was his; Maria and the woman were pregnant at the same time and that the boy looks A LOT like Arnold.
     
  24. SunnyGal

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    May 18, 2011

    Exactly.
     
  25. Cerek

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    I'm very thankful for those who have spouses they can trust completely. That is a treasure beyond compare.

    I felt the same way in my marriage. I had a g/f that cheated on me and I thought I had finally found my true soul mate when I first got married. I felt I could trust her 100% and she knew she could trust me 100%. Unfortunately, only one of us was correct.

    Still, that doesn't mean all women are that way nor does it mean the next long-term relationship I have will be the same. It just means my ex was NOT the kind of person I thought when I married her and I found out the hard way just how wrong I was.

    That doesn't make me bitter towards women at all (heck, they're still a LOT better than the alternative ;) ), but it does mean I am more cautious when before starting a new relationship.

    I do get a little upset when I see broad, sweeping statements about how all men are cheaters and can't be trusted. Such statements are completely untrue and also ignore the fact that, with rare exceptions, for every man that cheats, there is a woman that is cheating with him.

    As for the staffer, I find it sad people automatically defend her and imply she didn't have a choice because she might lose her job. I've not seen anything to indicate that was the case. As far as we know, she was just as eager to cheat with Arnold as he was with her. Neither one of them deserve a free pass in my opinion.
     
  26. Major

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  27. TiffanyL

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    This is so sad, Ms. I. Of course, I don't believe my husband would ever cheat, lie, or do anything terrible like that but I'd much rather trust and have love in my heart only to find out later I was wrong than to never feel love and trust at all.

    I also hope the same for my girls and would not want to raise them to be so bitter towards men.

    Life is hard and full of challenges. Maria will get through this and be stronger for it.
     
  28. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    I agree with a lot of you. It is sad that this has happened to the families. It's sad that bad judgement has made it tougher for the innocent people in the families.

    I feel for Maria. She may not have known about the money & stuff... I mean they probably have accountants, it's not like they aren't wealthy & had them to begin with.

    Ms.I ... I'm saddened by your statement, "Woman shouldn't speak (out loud) about how she knows or trusts her husband so well." You are not in the relationship, so you don't really know how she felt. If people don't go into a relationship trusting one another...why are they getting married. If she truly didn't know she was married to Arnold for over 20yrs & if she knew it was probably around 10 yrs before it happened. Does this mean we shouldn't trust anyone...
    As the saying goes, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
     
  29. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    May 18, 2011

    :yeahthat:

    Love the Paul Newman quote!! And that's exactly the way my husband feels too. We trust each other completely...always have, always will. He's been cheated on in past relationships so it was hard for him at first to understand that I was NOT going to cheat or lie or cover anything up. I just don't have it in me to do that, and neither does he.

    I also think that they had separate accounts. When you come from the Kennedy family, I would assume that you already have money and Arnold already had money so why should they lump it all together.

    ku~I remember the thread, but can't remember your stance on it, but :hugs: I respect you a lot as a member of this board, and agree with most of what you have to say.
     
  30. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    For all of you who have great husbands, that's terrific & hopefully, your marriages get stronger w/ each passing year! :)

    I'll try not to post anymore about (certain) men & their indiscretions, ill behaviors, etc...too many feathers are ruffled. On the other hand, I'm expressing my opinion here like you guys. It's just that most people on this board don't think like me, so I look like the bad guy. If it were the other way around, these kinds of topics wouldn't be a problem.

    I'm sure for many (didn't say all) women who've been cheated on...here on this board, in the public eye, etc. she must have said to herself, "Were there signs that I didn't notice OR chose to ignore?" For those who didn't think that, so be it.

    I totally agree w/ that too. The woman's many times married herself. Now I know Arnold's in the public eye, so of course they'll stress on him, but it's funny how the media will in a way mk it appear as if it's the men who are the dogs.

    :agreed:


    Yes, many times the wife knows, but they don't want to disrupt their happy home. In Maria's case, she's definitely not staying in it for the $.

    I'm sure they did have separate accts. I wouldn't doubt that she's wealthier than he is, so I'm sure she was advised to keep things separate or she wanted it herself.

    The part about BOTH women being pregnant at the same time...EEK!

    I feel sorry for the other kid & all other kids that have to keep it under wraps (for who knows how long) & can't enjoy being proud to society that so & so is their father/mother, etc.
     
  31. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Aw, thanks STG. The feeling is mutual.
     
  32. LUCHopefulTeach

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    That is a very strong statement.

    Let's not forget: Women have affairs as well.

    Back to Schwarzenegger, I was actually shocked. My entire life I have been fascinated, obsessed, in love with Arnold since probably the age of 4 years old. When I heard the news I was extremely upset and disappointed. I was personally more upset that he didn't tell Maria much earlier than the act itself.
     
  33. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Well, Schwarzeneggar was sued a few years ago for indistrections on movie sets with women. (It was him, right?) I was shocked to hear that he had a child. How do you keep that hidden for 10 years?

    And you're right LUCH, my best friend has cheated on her husband twice. So it's not just men.
     
  34. LUCHopefulTeach

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    That's my thing- people make mistakes. I think that we all can agree that cheating is wrong and shouldn't occur but we're only human. We do things we regret. We do things we knew we shouldn't have. I think that not telling his wife, whether she sensed it or not, is 100x worse than the act of cheating itself. The fact that you can cheat, have a child, and not tell your wife/husband is the real disheartening act here.

    My Future MIL did something very similar and her ex-husband never could have forgiven her for not telling him about it and the real father...
     
  35. Cerek

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    Yes, he was sued by some former female co-stars of his movie.

    I saw his official press release and will give him at least some credit. He did not try to excuse or justify his behavior. He admitted he was wrong to do it. That's pretty standard. What did impress me was his request that the media and critics respect the privacy of Maria and their children during this time and focus all their comments and criticisms on him and his actions. He basically told them to fire away at him all they wanted to because he deserved it.

    Most men in the same situation ask the media to respect their privacy as well (Tiger Woods, anyone?). That doesn't make Arnold a better person, but it does show he is willing to take the fallout for his actions.
     
  36. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Let's keep in mind also that Maria is Catholic. Divorce and Catholicism don't really work out together. It's entirely possible that she knew about the affair(s) but chose to stay in the marriage and try to work things out, perhaps even based on Arnold's word that he would change his ways. Staying with a cheating spouse isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it's hard to blame someone for wanting to preserve marriage vows and follow the guidelines of one's religion.
     
  37. John Lee

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    Why are people jumping on the OP's comments? She didn't say all men are dogs--She just said she's not surprised by it.

    She's not closing herself off "to trusting relationships", or "disparaging all the wonderful guys on the planet" or whatever. I don't understand where people are making that leap?
     
  38. Major

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    Arnold most likely had hundreds of women during their marriage. (Probably less than JFK had during his marriage to Jacqueline, a but lot of women nevertheless.) We can only imagine how many women hit on Arnold during the past 20 or so years. Probably a lot of them scored.

    What Arnold did was wrong ......... but those things happen. For all we know Maria could have looked outside her marriage a time or two. I'm not saying she did ......... but it's possible.

    Cheating is wrong ....... but it happens.
     
  39. Ms. I

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    Right John Lee & Major...2 guys saying this BTW. John, don't know why certain people get bothered. It's OK if not everyone trusts people after all & it's not that I'll be miserable because if something like this happens to me, I won't be shocked.

    If Maria had an affair herself at some point, no surprise there either.
     
  40. webmistress

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    I didn't say & don't believe she's any less guilty. The whole "mistress" thing is being glorified in the media. She'll probably get a reality show and get a book deal...but what she did was horrible as well.

    John
    I agree, maybe some are quick to respond. Sometimes I read something that irks the life out of me and then I get distracted, go offline or to another site, or just do whatever and come back and realize I read the statement wrong or that the statement is not worth getting upset over. In other words people need to breathe sometimes :)

    I too, like some posters here, am in a beautiful, loving, heaven sent marriage. I prayed for a man who would treat me like the princess that I am :D and God sent me better than what I prayed for and better than what I could have imagined. My husband is my king...

    But with that being said, this is why I didn't find a problem with Ms I's comments.

    To me this means that cheating is so extremely common now, among women & men, it's really no surprise to hear this type of news anymore. I'm not surprised at all either. I used to be surprised though, but once people like Michael Jordan, Steve Harvey, some religious leaders, and the list goes on admitted to cheating I just stop putting celebs and people in general on pedastal and realized cheating is extremely common and that's what I think Ms I was saying.
    People are even in open marriages these days, as well as swinging. :dizzy: Morals are very low imo...

    I took this to mean do not be boastful. As I said, God could not have sent me a better husband and my marriage is as happy & peaceful as a fairytale; however, I won't go boasting about this to people. We trust each other and I know there are things he would never ever do---however, I believe we should practice humility when speaking about our blessings. I also believe that the only "person" to ever walk this Earth who truly resisted all forms of temptation & bad errors in judgement was Jesus.
     
  41. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    May 18, 2011

    "Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me."

    F. Scott Fitzgerald.
     
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