School Cliques

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Light Douth, May 5, 2020.

  1. Light Douth

    Light Douth New Member

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    May 5, 2020

    Hello, I know that this is something that shouldn't affect my teaching, but it does. There is a group of teachers who I thought I was considered "close" to. I sat at them during specific things, they invited me specific places, etc. However, as of recently, I am hearing that they are hanging out outside of school and I am not invited sometimes. Sometimes, they will invite me. However, there are instances where I am not invited and they talk about it. They have long group message threads that I know, and I am not included in on them. I truly am feeling left out. What is your advice? Why would they only invite me to some things, but not all? Thoughts? I hate to worry about things like this, but I just feel left out and it hurts.
     
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  3. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    May 5, 2020

    Were you new when you became "close" to this group, and were they there before you entered the picture? They may have interests and a history that is older than your friendship with them. I have work friends that I like, but don't "love", some who have kids, some who don't, and it changes the dynamics for the relationships. That's just real life, I think, and unless you are suddenly being excluded from everything, I would accept that as an answer.
     
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  4. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

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    May 5, 2020

    I am unsure why either. Just like in high school, it is best to leave this group alone, and find some teachers that would make better friends. Maybe someday, they'll be a group to be part of, but it really looks like now is not that time.
     
  5. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    May 5, 2020

    I'd consider yourself lucky. I used to be friends with people from work, but that led to drama. I now do as much as I can do build collegial and respectful professional relationships with my colleagues, but I otherwise try to avoid getting too close. I want to leave work at work as much as possible.
     
  6. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    May 5, 2020

    When did 'close' mean that you had to be part of everything all of the time? Seems to me that they may have some interests or history that you don't share. I am sorry that the relationship isn't what you want it to be, but not every relationship that is close means that you have to be part of every single interaction in the group.

    You have to decide what you want to do with that? Keep score and feel hurt, accept it for what it is and enjoy the moments you share, or move on. Good luck in your decision.
     
  7. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    May 5, 2020

    My friends, work friends and outside work friends both, don’t have to include me in everything they do. I’d probably feel weird if they stopped including me in anything. Otherwise, I’d not think anything about it.
     
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  8. Tired Teacher

    Tired Teacher Devotee

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    May 22, 2020 at 4:06 PM

    I think Vickilyn has good advice on this. It is kind of odd though that they'd discuss other get togethers you were not invited to around you. I might go w/ Reading Rules because of that part and find some better friends. Then hang out w/ them when they invite you and you feel like it. It is always good imo to keep relationships open with as many people as possible at work. You need to be careful though if you get into having a best friend at work. I have had 1 at both schools I worked at and both were awesome, but I have seen people stabbed in the back by so called friends at work too.
     

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