scared to speak up!

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by Starivy, Mar 2, 2006.

  1. Starivy

    Starivy Companion

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    Mar 2, 2006

    I've always been more on the quiet/shy/introspective side of the fence. It's not that I don't appreacite that about myself but in social circumstances, I feel like it doesn't really help me!!! I don't want to be the girl who is very talkative but I'd like to feel comfortable speaking my thoughts in large groups. I feel so nervous and afraid to speak up. It's not as easy as, "just do it!" Is there anyone who can relate or give me some advice?
    Thank You!
     
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  3. ABall

    ABall Fanatic

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    Mar 2, 2006

    I can relate. I'm the shy girl too. Ok, so you may not be able to tell it here, but in my school group, I have yet spoken up about anything.
     
  4. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    I definitely tend to hang back if I'm not comfortable with the situation. About 6 years ago I realized that I wanted to be more active in a science organization that I was part of. I presented as part of a group a few times, and now I present workshops by myself several times a year. It can be intimidating at times, but I really push myself to keep doing it. When I'm up there in front of the group I just imagine I am in front of a group of students. It's gone a long way in making me feel comfortable speaking in front of groups. I still only feel comfortable when I'm in presenter's mode, going full tilt, laughing, joking, etc. When I have to speak seriously in front of a group it's still a nail biter!
     
  5. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I can relate to that when I was younger. As I got older I started realizing that if I don't fight for what I want or keep letting people walk all over me, problems don't go away...they only get worse. I don't let things build up anymore. If an issue needs to be addressed, I deal with it. There is always a good way to say something negative (well, usually). If someone blows their lid, then I remind myself it's not my problem then.

    I get irritated when people complain and complain about something but don't do anything about it. Complaining doesn't solve problems, and if someone doesn't want to confront a problem then they shouldn't be complaining since they are choosing not to do anything about it.
     
  6. Starivy

    Starivy Companion

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    Mar 2, 2006

    JenPooh,

    That is exactly what I am learning to do now. I am completely realizing that if I don't stand up and speak up for myself that no one else will and that it's no one else's responsibilty but my own. I operated for so many years unhappy for things not going right but I am seeing that I had the power all along! Thus I want to change.

    I think I am scared to speak up because I feel no one will care what I have to say anyway or I'll sound stupid. Those are the two things that come to mind. But what's funny is, I see other people saying stuff that I don't really care about and sounding silly all the time. And I don't think it's a big deal, it's not like I hang or judge them on their every word. So why can't I?
     
  7. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    jjtram, what do you do? Are you a supervisor in your job? I learned quickly when I had employees under me that I could not for a single second let anyone go over me or step on me. People figure out quickly how to overstep their bounds. Just like children...if they get away with something once, they will surely think they can get away with it again.

    If people do not respect your words and decisions, then they are not worth keeping around. There needs to be a mutual respect between everyone.
     
  8. teacherbell

    teacherbell Cohort

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    Mar 4, 2006

    jjtram,
    I also am a shy person. I have found that sometimes you have to just take the risk and say something. You will find that people want to hear what you have to say. Start out small and gradually work your way up to larger groups of people. Good luck!! :)
     
  9. Lainie

    Lainie Companion

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    Mar 5, 2006

    Teacherbell, I was going to say something similar.

    I'm very shy (I wasn't always, a lot of bad things and people in middle and high school made me that way). Lately, it's been bothering me, and I've started off very small... Talking to the cashier at the gas station, showing a child how a toy works at the Dr.'s waiting room, etc... And also, my work's been so hectic (supervisor on leave of absence, stressful work environment) that I've made it a point to speak up every chance I get (otherwise, I'd be lead teaching two classes with NO help; I'm a para, filling in). I haven't enjoyed it much, but I'm much less afraid to speak out.

    Funny what stress will do to a person.
     
  10. MorahMe

    MorahMe Habitué

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    Mar 5, 2006

    I'm also extremely shy...even with my closest friends, I tend to write letters, not talk...I'll call my friend, and she'll say "you sound like you need to write me a letter." We hang up, I write a letter, and fax it...sounds crazy, no? When I was in Kindergarten, my teacher told my mother that she hoped I was learning to read, because I spoke so quietly, she was never sure if I was actually reading correctly! I've gotten better, but still...it takes a lot of effort!
     
  11. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Mar 5, 2006

    Do you have a 'Toastmasters' chapter near you? I'm not a member buthave heard it really helps people with their confidence in speaking.
     
  12. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    I don't like to speak in large groups and I prefer to write letters or email. I do not like to talk on the phone at all and I am not one to go out socializing. However, I do speak up at meetings and to people who I think need to hear what I have to say!!! I think people in general talk way too much.
     

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