Scared to move.

Discussion in 'General Education' started by bewlove, Jul 20, 2014.

  1. bewlove

    bewlove Companion

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    Jul 20, 2014

    Hey, everyone! About two months ago, I accepted my first teaching position. I am loving everyone that I have met so far and my school, P, etc. The issue is that my job is an hour away.

    My hubby and I are living in an apartment right now. I went ahead and renewed our lease until May 2015 (which I hope wasn't a mistake due to the drive to work). I just didn't want to deal with moving during my first year of teaching, but now I am going to be stuck with the long drive. It was kind of lose/lose in that aspect.

    Anyway, the district I was hired in is a very rural district. My hubby is a hunter and I am really into riding horses, so it's great in that aspect. We could buy a little home with some land for my horses and some woods for him. The problem is, we don't (and won't be) making a ton of money. When I look for homes in our price range with a little bit of land (maybe 5 acres), they all just seem so cold and empty with nothing around. :mellow:

    If we were to purchase a home where we are currently living that had some land, I think I'd love it! But the prospect of being an hour away from our families, in a town where we know no one, all alone on a piece of land, kind of scares me. So now I'm torn. Do we try and stay in our current city, and I continue driving an hour to work? Or do we move to my work city, where we are further from our families, etc.?

    I should add that hubby wants to move to my work city. He loves it out there. I'm the one with cold feet. Those of you who have moved for a job....how has it been on you?
     
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  3. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jul 20, 2014

    I moved 11 hours. Alone. I didn't know anyone within a 600 mile radius. So, it was quite different. The second time, I was an hour away from family.

    An hour away from family is really nothing. I think you need to make sure you really explore the town you are teaching in to see if it is right for you. Buying is a big commitment. To both your new job and to the town.
     
  4. bewlove

    bewlove Companion

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    Jul 20, 2014

    I agree completely. That is another reason that I renewed our lease. Just in case I end up not liking it and want to find something closer.

    An hour really is nothing. It's just scary, I guess, packing up and moving to a new town where you don't know anyone, and there is nothing there. The whole town is about a mile long. The rest is just farmland. It's beautiful, and I love farmland as much as the next person! It is just intimidating when you are alone. But I will have my hubby if we make that choice. :) It's still just a big step.
     
  5. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    Jul 20, 2014

    How close is the nearest city? I teach in a rural area but you can get to a city in 15 minutes from the town center.

    I moved two hours away from family for my job but I moved close to my boyfriend. I bought a house here now. My parents are thinking about moving down here when they retire in a few years. I love it. I live in a large city though, so there's a ton to do.
     
  6. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    Jul 20, 2014

    When we moved 6 year ago we moved 400 miles away from the only,place I had ever lived. We knew no one. Our kids knew no one. Yes it was scary but it has been the best decision we ever made. We have made a tons of new friends. My kids are thriving. If we had stayed back "home" we would have been stuck in the same ole rut for many more years to come. Sometimes you just gotta say what the heck, and do things out of your comfort zone. It can be a good thing.
     
  7. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Jul 20, 2014

    Are there many houses for rent? Maybe that would let you see if you really like it there before the commitment of buying.
     
  8. Bunnie

    Bunnie Devotee

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    Jul 20, 2014

    Could you move halfway between the 2 towns?
     
  9. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

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    Jul 20, 2014

    I left Michigan to move to Maryland to teach and I knew no one here when I moved here.

    I was born/raised in Jersey, went to undergrad in TN, grad school in MI and now I live in MD. So moving, even though I'm single, is not that big of a deal to me.
     
  10. iteachbx

    iteachbx Enthusiast

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    Jul 21, 2014

    I agree with those that have said moving an hour away from family really isn't that far at all.
     
  11. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Jul 21, 2014

    An hour is not that far.
     
  12. CFClassroom

    CFClassroom Connoisseur

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    Jul 21, 2014

    I moved to Florida (from Boston) for my first job...not knowing a single sole. An hour commute is a l-o-n-g way. Especially if it will be 2 hours a day. Do you live in a climate where snow and ice is a factor? Honestly as a first (or even 15th) year teacher I can't imagine giving up 2 working hours each day in the car. Congrats on the job. Can you rent an apartment closer to school and wait until the end of the year to decide?
     
  13. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Jul 21, 2014

    The hour from family is not that big a deal, but the hour drive each way for 180+ days may get really old fast. Have had horses and lived in the country, and I can seriously recommend moving without the stress of buying right away. Horses are a commitment that many people aren't really ready for. I loved to ride, I didn't like cleaning the barn after work, putting up hay in the summer, feeding before and after work, being tied to the property because it is expensive to find people to do the chores for you when you leave town. You may love all of that, but as you settle into your job, why not find out about places nearby to board a horse or two? You can ride after work, before going home, and leave the messy stuff to someone else. Weather atrocious? Someone else will be out in the weather while you are in a comfy school making some money to pay for the luxury. Hubby is a horse vet, and we have seen this so often over the years, until the stress of having your own horses in your own 24/7/365 care becomes more nightmare than dream. Many women give up riding for some years if they start a family, although many go back to it when kids are older and less needy.

    Consider me as devil's advocate, just giving you something to think about. I wouldn't be buying anything until I knew I loved the job and had been asked back after the end of the coming school year. You can read on this site about people who are crushed because they have not been renewed. Imagine how that feels in a rural district where you now own a house and horses. Moving to be closer, however, makes a lot of sense, because as someone who makes that same length of commute every day, I know it is wearing thin for me. I have had to pull over on occasion in the late afternoon because I was so sleepy, so that is something to be wary of.

    Congrats on the new job. Don't be house poor, don't leap before you look and calculate, and don't worry about the family that is an hour away - the road runs both ways!
     
  14. MsDouglas

    MsDouglas Rookie

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    Jul 21, 2014

    Three years ago I moved from Maryland, where my entire family lives, to North Carolina, where I knew no one. Everyone told me not to go. My boyfriend of only 3 months moved with me. We found a place to rent that was 30 minutes from both of our jobs. The 35 minute drive has been killing me the past couple of years. I even tried carpooling last year and it didn't help. We have not regretted the move once. After renting for a year, we bought a house. This year I got a new job so I'm only 10 minutes from work.

    My suggestion is to rent first, but I would move closer to your job. You might actually find that you like it. An hour drive on the weekends to see your family is not bad. An hour drive to work in the morning and an hour drive home at night everyday of the week is horrible.
     

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