Sad and down

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by dizzykates, Aug 8, 2009.

  1. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    Aug 8, 2009

    Hi friends,
    I just needed to share with someone because no one is answering their phone and the people I was with today just don't get it. My husband is in the middle of a very intense, very not cheap graduate program and he is working fulltime. I fully support him in this endeavor and we have made sacrifices in order to make it possible, but in the end we are hoping it pays off.
    The reason I am so down tonight is that he has been sick this week, he still worked, still studied and is finally feeling better (he did take on day to stay home and rest). Well today he spent all day reviewing for his weekly exam (20% of his grade per exam) and he failed. He got really mad and down on himself and decided he just couldn't go to dinner with my family because he would be distracted and worried about it. He gets to take it a second time if he wants. I get needing to work on it. I wish he had joined us, but I get it. Some people who were out with us were just very insensitive commenting about how you are giving up your life right now to do this, you're missing out on a great day/fun night out/etc. We get that. We know he's missing out, heck, I am missing out too!!
    I guess I just wish that people would be a little supportive. It's a choice we made and it means he can't do all the fun stuff. Don't give us grief about it. It just seems unnecessary. So anyway, that made my time out all the less fun and now I am feeling mopey even though I didn't earlier because it's all about choices and we agree on this one.
    Blah. Thanks for "listening". :(
     
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  3. tb71

    tb71 Cohort

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    Aug 8, 2009

    All that really matters is that you support him and it looks as if you do. Don't let those others get you down. :hugs:
     
  4. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Aug 8, 2009

    I'm just impressed that you can look at it so logically even while feeling awful. You and your husband have the right to make your own decisions. Maybe, if there is a next time, just tell them that he isn't feeling well .... you don't need their criticism.
     
  5. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Aug 8, 2009

    This is a temporary sacrifice, you'll have plenty of time to have fun and probably extra money to spend because of it. This probably doesn't help with the bummed out feeling of right now. I'm sorry you're not getting the needed and necessary support.

    It really is aggravating when people aren't supportive. When I was in grad school my DH's family fussed about it all the time and it really made me mad and I resented them for it... resented them a lot for it.

    Ignore the naysayers the best you can. Encourage, love, and continue to support your DH.
     
  6. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    Thanks guys. I am glad he didn't join us, he would have been down and they would have still given him grief for it and that would have made him more mad. gr... I ordered him a pizza without tell him and it was delivered just as he was making a hot dog for dinner. :) I think he liked that.
     
  7. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Aug 8, 2009

    Some people just don't understand. You do what you have to do. Don't worry about what others say.
     
  8. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Aug 8, 2009

    :hugs:Good for you Dizzy!
    Always remember...you're always going to have people that aren't sensitive with what you're doing. Who cares. Right now; it's sacrifice time and you're supporting your hubby. :love:
    It's going to come back to you guys in time. :) The sacrifices will all be worth it. Just keep the goal in mind.

    I'm sort of a private person...I wouldn't have even given most people (your dinner guests) any details of what's going on with you and hubby.
    Have a great night!
     
  9. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    Aug 8, 2009

    That was really sweet!

    You need new friends. Friends who support tough choices.
     
  10. reverie

    reverie Companion

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    Aww, that's got to be tough. Just think how much better things will be once he's done with school. All that hard work will pay off.
     
  11. Emily Bronte

    Emily Bronte Groupie

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    Aug 8, 2009

    I love that you ordered him a pizza! You support him and that is what matters.
     
  12. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Aug 9, 2009

    That was nice of you for getting the pizza! I personally know how graduate level schooling frustrations & pressures can be on one's mind. They can't help not to be and I certainly know how it feels to want to do one's very best & know you have to do well because honestly none of use are getting any younger, so no one has time and money to waste if things don't go as well as possible.

    It's good that you understand. I don't know how many of your family members have gone through any kind of rigorous schooling or situations, but it doesn't sound like they understand that you can't mess around & live it up in situations such as these. It definitely takes hard work, focus, & dedication. Hopefully, they'll see that, but it's difficult for others to comprehend sometimes if they've never been in a similar situation themselves.

    Good luck to you guys.
     
  13. Starista

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    Aug 9, 2009

    How sweet of you to order him a pizza!

    I am sorry your friends are not being supportive toward you and your current situation ~ hoping that improves!! :)

    Love to You! =)
     
  14. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    I kind of wish it were my friends. It's actually my family. The only family we have in the area. My father to be specific. It sucks.

    Thank you so much for the support. I thought I was doing the right thing. I like the idea of just saying he's sick next time. Much simpler and doesn't lead to these comments.
     
  15. McKennaL

    McKennaL Groupie

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    Aug 9, 2009

    I had a friend who did to me what your - people- are doing to you. Gave me the ol' guilt trip. This was two years ago. I DIDN"T go to a Christian Concert..but instead did a massive amount of paperwork i needed to do for my divorce lawyer.

    My friend bugged me about letting life slip by...and how NOTHING is that important...and such.

    I was thinking about that just recently. I think...,maybe he was right. What would one day have mattered in the HUGE scheme of things. And I am sure the concert was something that would have stuck in my memory and served as a wonderfully needed break......

    Then again... in the midsts of things... you DO what you MUST do and FACE the challenges and deadlines you MUST face at the time..and NO-ONE can tell you that you shouldn't.

    I understand his point...and I (with my A.D.D.) am ALWAYS up for a fun distraction. But life DEPENDS on focus, a work ethic, and problem-solving skills when your nose is to the grindstone.

    Best wishes to your husband...and to your family ...as you face this tough challenge.
     
  16. lilmisses1014

    lilmisses1014 Comrade

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    Aug 10, 2009

    My husband is also in grad school (finally gets the J.D. in May '10!!!!!!!!!!!) and works full-time. He doesn't live near his parents, but when they come up to visit they don't understand why he can't just drop what he's doing to help them with things.

    It's a huge sacrifice for the both of you, but the end results will be so worth it! :) :hugs: This too shall pass....
     

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