I have a heck of a last two days and now I am wondering if this is for me? I just started about a month ago and I am nearly ready to givein. . . I am in sped. . .I like my class but it is challenging to say the least. I have seen improvements. The last two days I've been physically hit by a student Now I wonder can I really give these students what they need. I know I am new and give an exciting class to work with. When they are in they are awesome. When they are off they are not. How do I stick through this? What have you done when the going has gotten rough. . .
Congratulations!!!! You're NORMAL!!!!! All kidding aside, we all went through this in our first year. Lord knows I went home in tears or near to it in my "first" year, and I had 5 years experience in a community college setting under my belt. So, how to get through it? Well, first realize you're not alone. This site is an amazing resource. I don't think I would have survived the first month, let alone the whole first year without the wonderful advise and support from the people here. Post your questions and problems here. You'll get all sorts of wonderful advise. It's great because it seems like no matter what the problem somebody has "been there" and can help you see your way through to the end. I'm not a special ed teacher, so I don't have much in the way of advise, but there are a LOT of experienced sped teachers here, and I'm sure they'll chime in soon enough. In the meantime, I'll just sit here on the sidelines and be your cheering section. You CAN do it, and you WILL get through the year.
I'm not special ed, but what you're saying sounds absolutely normal!!! Teaching isn't like other jobs. You can't gauge success by the number of units sold or the number of customers served. It's measured in tiny little increments that are sometimes impossible to see. And most of the time it's at LEAST two steps forward, one step back. Hang in there!!
I had a rough day too...a lovely yelling parent phone call because her son got a referral. Apparently the parents sometimes (not always...most parents are awesome) are as deluded as the kids. I am just trying to survive until the year is out.
I just finished my class 5 minutes ago. This is the very first place I came, as I've had a particular rough day today and it's the first day where I've honestly just wanted to quit or not show up tomorrow at all. So it's good to see another of these posts. But seriously, it's been a bad day. I had an early morning doctors appt. and had to wait for them to call back all day for some anxious news, so my mind was already seriously distracted. The past day or two, I've noticed the math dept. head and the on-site math tutor talking and looking at worksheets myself and the other new math teacher have been handing out...as though something is up or they disapprove. This has kind of been worrying me. Today I was told that all the math classes have to be given a standardized test on Monday that the principal is creating to "assess" what the students know. Next week is the last week before winter break, and I was already crammed trying to get everything in - and now we have to give up an entire day for a dumb test that won't even be graded and the kids won't want to do and probably not try on. Which of course will make me look like I haven't taught them anything. There was a thread here on AtoZ last week mentioning that I shouldn't be teaching high school math if I don't have a degree in it and it's really been bugging me. And with the above, I just feel like I've lost confidence in myself. And THEN, in my Geometry class, my principal suddenly stopped in to observe. I didn't feel totally comfortable with today's lesson in the first place, and with my doctors appt this morning, I didn't prepare as much as I would have liked. And I was SO nervous when the P was there and so distracted and did a crappy job teaching - not to mention I misspoke about a math concept and I saw the P looking at one of the books, probably just picking out my mistakes. I had to cover a class during my prep time today, so I've just been in go-go-go mode, with no breaks. Every class was very difficult today, and I just couldn't seem to keep control. Or maybe I just can never keep control. I don't know anymore. When I finally heard from the Dr. I don't know if I was relieved or saddened, but it just gave me more to think about that I can't really handle thinking about. It's only mid-week, and I am so exhausted. I know the second year is supposed to be better, but I don't know why I am doing this to myself now, and I don't know if I want to do this to myself for the rest of the school year. I almost want to take a personal day tomorrow, or call in sick, or even get into a wreck on the way to school, or ANYTHING so that I don't have to deal with school tomorrow. My school is SO chaotic, which I've explained in some of my other posts. I have no support, no communication, no stability, no anything. I'm going crazy here. I'm telling myself I'm tough and I can do this, but I'm getting to the point where I don't know why I'm putting myself through it anymore. I want one of those remotes control things in that movie Click where I can just fastforward my life a couple months. Anyways, I know I just horribly hijacked this thread, and I know this is not my first rant on this board. Today was just really the worst day I've had all year. I feel like I'm almost at my breaking point.
raneyday You didn't hijack the thread...if it make you feel any better I am currently looking for a new job. I am so frustrated, I've had it. Not trying to be ridiculously negative but I feel very unhappy. Much love and support to you
Don't make judgements based on your worst days.Think about the good things and how you help your students.I always felt the more the administration hassels the teacher, the poorer job the administrators are doing.
