Ridiculous "Teacher Lounge" drama

Discussion in 'General Education' started by horned_Frog89, Aug 31, 2015.

  1. horned_Frog89

    horned_Frog89 Companion

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    Aug 31, 2015

    Just started my 2nd week ever of teaching and it's great so far!!

    I'm a sixth grade math teacher - one of Five. FOUR of us are BRAND new and one is a 3rd year teacher (2nd year at the school - we'll call her "Teacher X"). Well, teacher X has been GREAT at giving us newbies ideas and just giving us an idea of what we need to be doing in the classroom.

    SO anyways, I was making copies in the lounge after school and Teacher X said she wanted to talk to me about "something bad". So she told me about how last week, some other teacher had told her that myself and another new math teacher called an activity Teacher X had given us "stupid". It was a social media "get to know me" thing we did on the first day of school.

    I mean, is that really necessary? No, I didn't use that activity she gave us because it was too long and I didn't think the kids still used that particular social media outlet anymore. BUT I definitely didn't think it was stupid!

    Did I say it was stupid? I highly doubt it. I mean, I don't recall every single thing I said last week, but why would I say that is a room full of teachers??

    I feel so 'violated' right now. I highly doubt I'll ever do anything other than make copies in the teacher lounge now.

    Any opinions on how to deal with this drama? I don't have time for it.
     
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  3. Bunnie

    Bunnie Devotee

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    Aug 31, 2015

    Just own up that you didn't use the activity and maybe said you didnt want to but don't recall saying the word stupid.

    As a rule of thumb, never eat in the Teacher's lounge, I've only heard things about teachers gossiping or saying things in there that are drama-filled. Maybe not all schools are like that, but most are.

    I would be careful of anything you say in general. Wait until you get to know your coworkers better. You may even find out who tends to gossip so you can steer clear of them.
     
  4. miss-m

    miss-m Devotee

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    Aug 31, 2015

    I second what Bunnie said -- avoid the teacher's lounge if possible, and just generally watch what you say if there's any chance of gossip (which there almost always is). I got in trouble in college during one field placement because of a similar situation -- someone said I had said something negative about my CT, which I didn't recall saying, and it spread to the principal, who told my supervisor, who confronted me about it with a fit to teach meeting (my university's first level of discipline with student teaching issues). No one asked if I said it -- they just assumed it was true and I never even found out who started that in the first place. Needless to say I learned to not say ANYTHING in a school setting that could be even slightly misconstrued if there was an atmosphere of gossip (which sadly included my college classmates).

    Teachers talk -- sometimes that's helpful when lessons and ideas are shared, but a lot of times it's not and gossip abounds. :(
     
  5. horned_Frog89

    horned_Frog89 Companion

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    Teacher X knows I didn't use the activity and had knownn since the first day of school! I shared my activity after I decided the original one was too long.

    But now I'm staying far far away from the lounge! I genuinely didn't think the activity was stupid! It was just ridiculously long and required lots of writing. The activity was a Facebook thing...maybe I was talking about the real Facebook. Because I don't do the real deal because it's stupid.
     
  6. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    Aug 31, 2015

    This type of thing can happen anywhere in a school, not just the lounge. I'm a "lounge eater," but our lunch topics have nothing to do with school.

    The real problem is not knowing who you can vent to. Tell Teacher X that the next time she hears you said something to please ask you about it first.
     
  7. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Why stay away from the lounge?

    What was your reply? I would have to remind Teacher X that she shouldn't believe everything she hears from others, and that while you did not use the activity you did not feel it was stupid. Then let it go.

    Or, on second thought, I don't think I would say anything at all. Just forget it. It's not even worth engaging the other person in a discussion.
     
  8. Bunnie

    Bunnie Devotee

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    This is what probably got you in trouble. In reality though there's someone at your school who likes to gossip. Just watch what you say, and just observe people to see who you can trust before you get comfortable. What's it seems like though is that's Teacher X went straight to you to ask, which is a good thing. Teacher X might not like to gossip, but someone else told her maybe hoping to create drama. Seems like Teacher X might not want to play that game.
     
  9. missrebecca

    missrebecca Comrade

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    Aug 31, 2015

    You don't need to stay out of the lounge, but I agree with keeping an eye out for who the gossipers are, and watching what you say around them.

    I'm not a gossiper, but I've definitely heard my fair share of things. Ugh. Such a waste of time!
     
  10. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    Gossip will probably always happen in one way or another. I don't eat in the lounge but it's not because of gossip. I just find I need the down time. I eat with my good friend in her room. Just try to let it roll off your back. It doesn't sound like it was ultimately a big deal. Just share your side and move on as best you can.
     
  11. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I agree with others that have said that you don't necessarily have to stay out of the lounge, but just watch what is said. I always ate in the lounge and though there was gossiping, I mainly stayed out of it. I'm sorry Teacher X chose to address it the way she did.
     
  12. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    I firmly disagree with anybody saying to stay out of the teacher's lounge. Lunch is the only time that you can relax a little bit without being around kids. Take advantage of that time and talk to adults for a few minutes. It'll do wonders for your sanity. Just stay out of conversations you aren't comfortable with. Too many teachers do working lunches. That's a good way to burn yourself out.
     
  13. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    As for this particular issue, fess up and admit that you might have used the word stupid, meaning facebook itself, apologize, and clarify that you meant facebook itself, not the activity.
     
  14. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Ah, so you did use the word "stupid", but it was misunderstood. In that case, I would clarify what was said. The word "stupid" was a bad choice of words in general. Just because you don't care for something doesn't make it stupid.
     
  15. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    I don't do a working lunch. I eat at my desk, and catch up on news, email, etc. I have some quiet time away from teenagers.
     
  16. Geologygirl

    Geologygirl Comrade

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    Gossip occurs all over my school. I think you can still go to the teacher's lounge just be careful what you say wherever you are at work. Lots of teachers gossip. I think it is just part of the culture of teaching unfortunatly
     
  17. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

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    I would definitely clear the air with Teacher x by addressing the situation. Clear up what you were referring to as stupid and reinforce that you value her ideas, input, experience. A good relationship with her is really important.
    Btw, I'm pretty sure I use that same activity. I suppose I should replace it with something else. Doing it tomorrow so we will see how it goes.
     
  18. indigo-angel

    indigo-angel Companion

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    I'm going to go against the tide on this one. I don't think you should stop going to the lounge or apologize to clear the air.
    First, she comes to you shamelessly accusing you of some nonesuch gossip she heard from someone. She would have gotten her life right there, if it were me. I mean, come on! What a piece of ridiculousness to confront someone about.
    Also, you are a professional just as everyone else and deserve to use the fridge and microwave if you so choose. Go in as much as you please, but limit your interaction with Teacher X and whoever you were speaking with the day the "stupid" conversation occurred (pun intended). :2cents:
     
  19. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    I eat lunch in my room, and can relax without being around kids OR adults. I sit, listen to music, and maybe look at the forums here.

    But I'm an introvert, despite how my personality seems at first glance. I hate it when people talk to me when I try to eat.

    As for the situation with Teacher X, at the beginning of the year I was dealing with a lot of similar things, in that some teacher heard that I said something or was mad about something and they felt the need to address it with me. Every time it was just a busybody who was blowing something out of proportion, and I just called it for what it was and told the teacher: "Someone's trying to escalate something that isn't there. Just ignore it."

    If someone has a problem with me, they can just address it with me to clear the air rather than spreading rumors around.
     
  20. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    I eat lunch with a few other teachers in another teacher's classroom. That way I can still take a break, but I only socialize with people I actually want to socialize with and I don't have to deal with any lounge drama or obnoxiousness.
     
  21. HistoryVA

    HistoryVA Devotee

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    I would be far less happy at work if I stayed out of the teacher's workroom. Our is just our department and we all eat lunch together every day. It's always filled with laughter, debates, support and so much fun. Some of my best moments have been in those lunches.

    We have drama. We have moments where people hear something wrong or interpret something wrong- it's never been as a result of those lunches. Drama will find you whether you go into that room or not. Just be careful who you share opinions of other people with.
     
  22. horned_Frog89

    horned_Frog89 Companion

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    Here's an update:

    I talked with my fellow first year teammate, whom was also accused of using the word stupid. He said we NEVER described the activity as being stupid. He told me he immediately shot "teacher x" down about it all because he is pretty stressed about work and didn't have time for that.

    He actually used the Facebook activity from Teacher X and had mixed success with his classes. One class in particular barely did it and he said they called it "stupid". My teammate said the gossiping teacher may have heard him retell how the kids thought it was stupid.
     

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