retaining

Discussion in 'Third Grade' started by wcvetwife, May 7, 2010.

  1. wcvetwife

    wcvetwife Rookie

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    May 7, 2010

    Here's the issue...My 8 year old daughter is at the end of her 3rd grade. She has a late birthday so she was the last one to turn 8 in her class and she did so after school started back. She began the year making straight A's and is ending her year with A's in reading, but C's, D's and F's in math. She does have ADD. I took her to Sylvan last summer. She tested at a 7th grade reading level, but a 1st grade math level. She does well with word problems, but struggles with computation. She has no speed and her recall is horrible. She does not play with many kids in her class, but loves playing with younger children and is a leader with them. I considered holding her back last year, but I thought if we could build her confidence up she might get better with her math skills. She is not firm with her basic math facts. My husband and I argue the same point that she is immature for her age, but have completely different approaches on how to deal with it. I think we should retain her, which we should have done in K or 1st, but she seemed okay just "pokey." My husband thinks we just need to push her more. He doesn't see how another year will change anything and that she will lose what she has in reading.

    What do you think?
     
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  3. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    May 7, 2010

    I moved my youngest son back from 2nd to 1st grade in the middle of this school year, and some of the reasons you describe overlap with what was going on with William.

    It was the best decision I could have made. William is now blossoming both socially and academically.
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    May 8, 2010

    What does her teacher suggest?
     
  5. wcvetwife

    wcvetwife Rookie

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    May 8, 2010

    She has three and they all suggest that she be retained mainly for maturity and the fact that she is about the last one to finish everything. When she does math speed drills, she doesn't answer them all, but the ones she does answer she gets right.
     
  6. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    May 8, 2010

    All 3 of her teachers agree? And you've respected their opinons on other matters this year?

    Then I think I would give it serious consideration. I'm a big believer in finding professionals I can trust, then trusting their opinions.

    I see lots of kids who are pushed by their parents to do more more more. It seems to me that kids shouldn't have to work THAT hard to get by.
     
  7. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    May 8, 2010

    Put yourself in her shoes. Would you feel better about yourself if you had to continually struggle year after year and fall further and further behind because you didn't have a mastery of basic skills? Or, would you feel better about yourself if you had an extra year to catch up and now you were top of the class, academically and socially?
    When we retain a child like that, we have the option of placing her in a 4th grade reading group, while doing the rest of her academics in the 3rd grade.
     
  8. Missy99

    Missy99 Connoisseur

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    May 9, 2010

    :yeahthat:
     
  9. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    May 9, 2010

    Mom with experience here. Hold her back. Look down the line. Your daughter will be 15 in 10th grade if you don't. Most kids in my area are 16 and we have some that turn 17 in the middle or last part of the year. I am always afraid for girls that don't have confidence or the ability to stand up for themselves with older boys. I am not saying all boys would take advantage of this, but some would. I wanted my daughter to have the confidence in herself to not only stand up to others, but to fight for what she wants.

    I have faced this decision twice. Once I retained and once I placed in a transitional class. Both of my children came out stronger and better. Please think about it. Plus I have found in my job (transitional 1st teacher) that the age comparisions work great with dad's. They don't want their babies with big mean boys.
     

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