really bad day and i cried in front of my kids.

Discussion in 'New Teachers' started by 1st-yr-teacher, Dec 13, 2006.

  1. 1st-yr-teacher

    1st-yr-teacher Comrade

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    Dec 13, 2006

    i had a really bad day and after lunch I cried in front of my kids. I teach first grade and they were horrible after lunch.

    when we got back to the classroom, the counselor came in to relieve me for a few minutes and as i started them with busy work to let me cool down, i kept on getting more and more upset. I started to cry in front of my class(it was not a bawling type of situation but they knew i was upset)

    have i totally lost face with my students. I am going to the doctor tomorrow to deal with some other issues and was going to speak to her about taking something for my patience and stress level. I have not slept well in three weeks(which is really not good for me, esp. since i don't sleep well in the first place)

    i have a day off tomorrow....i am just really embarrassed about the whole situation.

    any advice or encouraging words would be appreciated.

    btw..my administration has been nothing but supportive and they told me i have been doing a good job.
     
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  3. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Dec 13, 2006

    Those little ones are resilient and have big hearts. If anything, they were more worried about you then thinking of you "losing face" with them. When you come back, have a talk with them and explain that you were just having "one of those days"...and compare it to when they do _______. They will love and support you...that is the wonderful thing about teaching little children. They get past it and move on so much faster and easier then we do. Don't worry so much about it....it really isn't that big of a deal unless you make it that way.
    Relax on your day off. Be grateful for a supportive administration. Maybe bring in cookies when you come back on Friday! :)
    Don't be so hard on yourself......you are human and are allowed to have a "bad day". (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))
     
  4. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Dec 13, 2006

    I would be honest with the kids but not apologetic. Something along the lines of, Ms. __ was feeling sad/upset/(whatever you want to say) yesterday and that is why I started to cry. Sometimes a good cry helps you feel better. Then I'd drop it and go about my day. Why apologize for being human?
     
  5. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Dec 13, 2006

    I agree with Daisy... don't apologize. You are human. You are teaching the kids it's ok to express feelings. No shame in that.
     
  6. teach 4th

    teach 4th Rookie

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    Dec 13, 2006

    One of my fondest memories of student teaching...

    We would have a really difficult day with our most demanding student. The student teachers would leave for lunch around 12. At 12:30, if he was walking past the staff room, and he saw us, he would stand there calling for us, until we waved at him.

    In my experience, kids don't take things as personally as we do. Just be upfront and open. The little ones (elementary) want to love their teachers.
     
  7. Mrs_B

    Mrs_B Comrade

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    Dec 14, 2006

    My son's 1st grade teacher has been teaching for 25 years and had a really bad day yesterday. She didn't feel good and was really grumpy. Today she matter-of-factly said "I was not very nice yesterday was I?" The kids understood and still love her.

    Give yourself a break. I would totally cry easily if I didn't sleep for 3 weeks! I hope your doctor can help you. Take care of yourself.
     
  8. Amanda

    Amanda Administrator Staff Member

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    Dec 14, 2006

    That happened to me once. It was so embarassing... I know exactly how you feel. The kids were more concerned than anything... I just told them that something made me sad.

    I had just gotten some sad news from my hubby on the phone and was already stressed to the max, probably sleep deprived like you too. When I went to lunch, one of my students was being difficult and even though I'd been through similar issues with him a thousand times, that time I just lost it and started crying. (In the lunchroom no less so a lot of other teachers, cafeteria workers, students, etc. saw me. :eek: ) Another teacher had to take my kids for me while I pulled myself together. The kids that saw me crying understood that the student was a pain in the rear. I felt like such an idiot and wondered what all the adults thought of me. I'm glad that the administration has already expressed support for you. :) Don't worry... Try to forget about what happened... In my case, it was never an issue again.

    Although I do remember the boy who was causing problems was upset when I wore the same shirt that I was wearing the day the problem happened. He was a nice/sensitive kid overall, but could be very stubborn. I didn't wear it again after that!! ;)

    HUGS - I hope you are able to get some rest. That will help more than anything!! I suspect your dr could end up prescribing you some sleep medication, but I would also recommend seeking out some relaxation CDs or therapy to help you sleep better, and to deal with stress. When I was pregnant, I did a self-relaxation program and I learned to relax my body and I slept so well. If I find myself tensing up or stressing out now, I just have to think back to the relaxation techniques I learned. Here's a quick starter (it says self-hypnosis, but self hypnosis really = self relaxation):
    http://sleepdisorders.about.com/cs/relaxation/ht/Self_Hypnosis.htm
    I have an ocean waves soundtrack that is sooo relaxing.
     
  9. 1st-yr-teacher

    1st-yr-teacher Comrade

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    Dec 14, 2006

    thanks...i feel a lot better...although all i have been doing is worrying if i left enough work for the substitute today. I guess that will come in time.

    dr. has given me some lunesta to try. I also have been put on some other medications for other reasons. i told her before i left that she was going to have me drugged up:)

    but thanks, i do feel a lot better and i am looking forward to tomorrow. unfortunately, the state lady for reading first is coming tomorrow and i am going to have to get there early to prepare for that lovely event!
     
  10. cactusfive

    cactusfive Rookie

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    Dec 14, 2006

    I have had that happen in the past. :eek: I had a confrontation with a student before I took them to P.E. I went to my VP for advice and being the softie she is, gave me advice I did not want to hear. When I picked the kids up I thought I had recovered, but they could tell I was upset and kept asking me what was wrong. I could not stop the tears. I just did the best I could to keep it together (kind of) and went on with our math lesson. You could have heard a pin drop that day, they were so concerned. Kids have such big hearts and they understand that adults have feelings too.

    Just thought you would like to know you are not the only one.
     
  11. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Dec 14, 2006

    Well I cried today in front of my kids....and I instantly thought of this thread. One of my little kinderbeaners dog was hit and killed by a car this morning, right before school. She came in late, and when she arrived, she entered the room and just stood there and sobbed. I felt SOOOOOO heart broken for this little girl! All I could do was hug and hold her and sob right along with her! All of my kids just stared.....but bless their little hearts......they were so kind and loving and such good examples of human compassion and love to both of us. My point is......we ALL have moments that we never expect and kids are OK with seeing US (their teachers) be human, too!
     
  12. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Dec 14, 2006

    I've had similar experiences...don't feel bad about it. I had to leave one day...I started crying for no apparent reason...exhaustion, depression, anxiety...I just fell apart. The kids were just great. They worry so much when we are sad.
     
  13. 1st-yr-teacher

    1st-yr-teacher Comrade

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    Dec 15, 2006

    well...i went back today and they were wild as usual.

    after lunch...one of my hard to deal with ones said "ya'll better watch out or she is going to cry again."

    i was like "wow, i cant believe she said that". she said it in a hurtful way but i know she did not know that it was hurtful. fortunatley and unfortunately, the kids really have tuned her out because she is constantly singing or talking...

    maybe they will forget over christmas...and i could tell they were trying to push my buttons but i kept my cool and told them that if they wanted to talk and play that they would finish their work during recess on monday. that quieted them down real fast:)
     
  14. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Dec 15, 2006

    I agree with Upsadaisy, don't apologize, but be short & sweet w/ your comment of why you cried. But now that that's passed, I don't know how long your class has been behaving like this, but for 1st graders, they are pretty bad & getting into a bad habit of running over you in my opinion.

    If I were you, when school resumes after Christmas break, I'd lay down a new tougher set of rules. It's time to be a lot firmer & start having stricter consequences for their actions. Be the teacher they've never seen before. Have a clear set of rules & go over them one by one & explain as you go. Give examples of what behavior is appropriate & not appropriate. Remember to add that any more wisecracks about you or anyone in class will have serious consequences because they are not showing respect that way. Don't dare feel bad because you think they're too young to understand. That's the problem these days with kids. Parents let them get away w/ murder because they think they're just babies or being "cute".
     
  15. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Dec 16, 2006

    I was rather shocked to hear about that kind of behavior from little ones. I agree with Ms. I. Expect the same decency from them as you would from any other students. I would never tolerate rudeness or disrespect. Don't accept it even once.
     
  16. 1st-yr-teacher

    1st-yr-teacher Comrade

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    Dec 16, 2006

    what would you suggest as a punishment. I have been tackling the back talk lately and i have told them if they back talk they will pull another stick...but it does not seem to work. i have a lot of stompers and kids who pitches fits. my biggest annoyance is the back talk.

    what should i have done to the child who made that comment about me crying again?
     
  17. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Dec 16, 2006

    I probably would have said, I'm thankful for your concern, but I am not feeling sad right now. I am feeling _____
     
  18. kidatheart

    kidatheart Habitué

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    Dec 20, 2006

    Kids in some of the classes I go to respond to(These are all things that I see in 1st-6th grade.):
    1) calls home
    2) loss of "centers"
    3) head down on desk while the rest of the class listens to a story on the rug
    4) stay in during recess or other specials
    5) missing out on movies shown in class
    6) loss of tickets (this teacher gives 3 everyday. at the end of the day the kids put them in a cookie jar. she draws from this jar randomly throughout the month - the more tix, the more chances that you can win)
    The worst thing that our most troublesome first grader gets is a visit to Miss B! He's a little scared of her (don't know why, because she is a real softy!).
    Do you have another teacher that would be willing to help you?
     
  19. katerina03

    katerina03 Devotee

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    Dec 20, 2006

    I cried infront of my 7th graders last week! They were doing a writing assignment and one student made up a story that was very sad and it reminded me of a real life domestic abuse situation where a man killed his wife while their son was upstairs. I tried so hard not to cry but I completely lost control of myself and I was embarrassed. I thought the kids would see me as a softy and take advantage, but they have not. The students just stared at me for a while and I explained why I was crying. They were very understanding and have not mentioned the incident again.
     
  20. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Dec 21, 2006

    When thinking about punishments, take away things that you know they really like, that way, they will think twice about their actions. Maybe taking minutes away from free time or computer time or some other thing that's fun to them & sitting at their desk with their head down. Don't do things like giving them more reading, class work, or homework. That will give the child a negative feeling about school and learning. When they pull sticks, unless a certain number of pulled sticks leads to something else, it probably doesn't phase them.

    If I were you, I'd also start sending home behavior notes every Friday stating how each child behaved during the week. Each child has to return it on Monday signed by a parent. The weekend will give the parents a chance to talk over things with their child, either to keep up the good work or improve next week.

    Keep us posted on how things change when school resumes.
     
  21. Miss Apple

    Miss Apple Rookie

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    Jan 7, 2007

    I personally would be open with them. Never hide things from your students because a part of the trust issue comes from the teacher too not just for students only. If you are not honest with them, they will not be honest with you. When you share your feelings they will feel closer to you for the long run and have a deep respect. When you have days with a various emotions (even on happy days) you could always ask them why the teacher may feel _________. That gets their minds rolling and thinking of how others feel. So boys and girls, why do you think I am happy today? Why am I frustrated right now? Why would I be disappointed? Also, this teaches the kids to be honest with you and not to hide things when something is wrong at home, recess or in class. ~A great teaching moment :D
     
  22. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    Jan 7, 2007

    I definitely agree that you shouldn't be embarrassed about this. They are always reminding us that we are dealing with individuals first and the curriculum second....well, students need to learn to see us as individuals also. They also need to understand how their behaviour can affect us, so I think it's good for them to see if they actually push you to the point of crying. If you don't habitually cry, it will leave an impact in them and they may think twice next time the atmosphere in the room gets to that point. I came close to that point and I composed myself enough to tell my class exactly what I thought; my voice was cracking and they knew they had upset me, but I managed not to cry until they were all gone. It happens and it's not a big deal. Just before the holidays I had a student remind me of that day in a conversation. He said it in a way that let me know that that particular day left an impression on him, and he learned something about how his (and others) behaviour affects others. Besides, it's part of connecting with students, to let the see you as a human being. A wise teacher said to me just this year, that when you connect with your students, they begin to learn things that you don't even realize you're teaching. I think that can be one example.
     

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