Hi. I am a first year 9th grade English teacher. I have had a really tough time adapting to all the responsibilities of a teacher. In the beginning, I was so excited and motivated, but now most of that has disappeared. It's a number of things that make me feel this way, and it's been very hard to put my finger on exactly what is making me unhappy. I've tried writing everything down, but nothing is helping. It has some to do with the students who are hard to discipline. Some of them are just SO disrespectful. I am 25, and sometimes I think they try to push me a bit farther than other teachers because of my age. Overall, my classes have been going really well. A lot of the students are precious in my eyes, and a lot of them tell me I'm their favorite teacher, and my lesson plans are always really creative and they seem to really enjoy class most of the time. I've had all three observations made by my principal, and they went great. My principal was very impressed. So, I really don't know what the problem is, but I dread Sundays for the dread of Mondays. I haven't been myself for about three months now. I don't like the up and down days, like having a good day today, and an awful day the next day. I like for everything to be consistent, and that's hard to expect when working with teenagers. I'm just so unhappy. I have my masters degree in teaching, and I have always felt that I was called to be a teacher. So, I don't understand why God would lay this on my heart, and why I would be so miserable doing it. It doesn't make any sense to me. I leave so many days just feeling so defeated, so I come home and cry or pass out from exhaustion. I understand that the second year will get better, and by the fourth year I will be smooth sailing, but I don't think the things that will get better, like not as much time spent planning and learning a discipline system that works, will really make me happier. Yes, it would make things easier, but not exactly better. I try to ask myself that if I had my best class all day long, would it make a difference, and I just don't think it really would. I plan so hard and so much, and sometimes I feel like college students would appreciate it more. It's so scary to think about doing something else with my life, because I've always thought that this is what I would be doing. I have no idea what I would do as my career if I'm not teaching. I've looked into possible positions at an area college, and I think that I would really enjoy working at the college, not exactly as a professor, but as an advisor or something similar. I had a dear friend mention to me that, while I may be called to be a teacher, it doesn't HAVE to be in the high school setting. She said you can teach a number of ways through a number of jobs, such as writing, being a mother, a sunday school teacher, etc. That gave me some hope. I actually talked with my principal last week and let her know that I was thinking about possibly turning in my letter of resignation. She was shocked. She told me that she thought I had a real gift in teaching, and that she envisioned me as being one of the strongest teachers in the school some day. This is a huge compliment, but I don't know if I have this type of motivation in me any more. I keep thinking these days will end, and I will not do this forever. I didn't even really enjoy student teaching that much, until it was almost over, and I did a great job student teaching. I don't get it! My principal told me to take my time with the decision, that she would take problem kids out of my room, that I could come back after the Christmas break and even decide in January if I want to stay or not. I never thought I would be ready to quit by Christmas break. This has been the hardest decision I've ever had to make, and I don't know what to do. I feel like a failure and a quitter. I know that no one can really tell me what to do, but any words of wisdom that can be offered would be greatly appreciated. Sorry to write so much, but I needed to get this off my chest among fellow teachers. Thanks so much for listening!