Quite discouraged

E

ebc

Rookie
This is my first year teaching and I'm feeling ineffective. I did a summer school teaching, and student teaching, and I left feeling confident and got great reviews. I really felt like I was going to be a good teacher. The rave reviews landed me a job, but now all I hear is negative things.

I have a bunch of mentor teachers...I don't even know how many. Sometimes one will just pop in while I am teaching and then tell me all the things I am doing wrong and leave. I feel like all I am getting is negative feedback, and I'm getting worried. At first I thought, 'Okay, maybe this mentor teacher just focuses more on the negative things', but I just got my review from the principal and he said I didn't do very well in a couple areas and mentioned that if I don't do well in them I may not be up for a contract renewal.

What am I going to do? I honestly feel like I am using everything I learned from the university and previous classroom experience. The students are meeting their goals and progressing- yet I am not doing well on the rating scale they are using.

I try to incorporate what they are saying and I have made adjustments. I just dread when this particular mentor teacher comes in because every time she leaves I break down and cry. I thought I was a good teacher and would become better, now I just feel totally useless and ineffective. I am glad that my students are meeting their goals and progressing, but without passing this scale they use, I am not going to get good ratings and how am I going to get hired elsewhere?

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is my rant, thanks for listening.

Anyway, I guess the purpose of this post is to ask is anyone else has had the same experience? Being very successful in one school, and not in another. And how do you get hired elsewhere if the last school you were at doesn't give you glowing reviews?
 
I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. If your kids are making gains and progressing, then that should be enough. Unfortunately I've heard a lot of stories like yours (and witnessed it myself) where the P tells you you aren't up to scale, but then does nothing to help you out. I am now working in a better school closer to home! As far as the mentor teacher, when they come in and points out something negative, ask her/him for what they would do in a particular situation. Ask, ask, ask what suggestions they have. This will hopefully show them how serious you are about your job. Good luck!
 
First of all, you are a special ed. teacher. You will be able to get another job.

Second, what they are doing to you is horrible. I can't imagine treating a first year teacher this way. This is not normal or okay.

I still have major performance anxiety thanks to a mean professor who attacked me during "an observation". And I have been teaching 9 years with great reviews every year. My annual observation is tomorrow and I have had to majorly psyche myself up for not falling apart.

We are all learners. When we think about how we are encouraged to boost kids' self esteem and treat them with dignity and respect, why do we think that adult learners need less? It makes no sense.

I hope things get better.
 
Can you sit in on her class? Turn the tables and observe this mentor teacher as she leads a lesson, under the auspices of trying to get pointers for your own improvement. Take vigorous notes on what she considers to be good teaching. I'd think this would help her get a more realistic outlook and be less negative to you.

You deserve support and encouragement, and sorry you're having to go to the internet to find it, but we're here for you!
 
This particular mentor teacher doesn't teach anymore. Maybe that's part of the problem.

But that is a good idea to ask for lots of suggestions and incorporate them even if they might not be necessary- just so they know I am listening and trying to improve.

I guess I just have to be incredible in my next observation. Wish me luck. :)
 
I think teachers are under enough stress and pressure from everyone, the last thing they need is for "one of their own" to bring them down, without even mentioning the points to work on. I was thinking the same as what Wrice mentioned, but you said she doesn't teach any more, so not much you can do there.

I have found that when the tables are turned, they are not exactly A-model teachers themself. I am not saying all, but there are some that talk big, but perform not to the standards they are asking from you.

Shame on them.
 
ebc said:
This is my first year teaching and I'm feeling ineffective. I did a summer school teaching, and student teaching, and I left feeling confident and got great reviews. I really felt like I was going to be a good teacher. The rave reviews landed me a job, but now all I hear is negative things.

I have a bunch of mentor teachers...I don't even know how many. Sometimes one will just pop in while I am teaching and then tell me all the things I am doing wrong and leave. I feel like all I am getting is negative feedback, and I'm getting worried. At first I thought, 'Okay, maybe this mentor teacher just focuses more on the negative things', but I just got my review from the principal and he said I didn't do very well in a couple areas and mentioned that if I don't do well in them I may not be up for a contract renewal.

What am I going to do? I honestly feel like I am using everything I learned from the university and previous classroom experience. The students are meeting their goals and progressing- yet I am not doing well on the rating scale they are using.

I try to incorporate what they are saying and I have made adjustments. I just dread when this particular mentor teacher comes in because every time she leaves I break down and cry. I thought I was a good teacher and would become better, now I just feel totally useless and ineffective. I am glad that my students are meeting their goals and progressing, but without passing this scale they use, I am not going to get good ratings and how am I going to get hired elsewhere?

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is my rant, thanks for listening.

Anyway, I guess the purpose of this post is to ask is anyone else has had the same experience? Being very successful in one school, and not in another. And how do you get hired elsewhere if the last school you were at doesn't give you glowing reviews?
Click to expand...

Is it possible that you may be forgetting to ki*s the other teachers and the pricipal and s may be staff too. Not joking.
 
smalltowngal said:
I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. If your kids are making gains and progressing, then that should be enough. Unfortunately I've heard a lot of stories like yours (and witnessed it myself) where the P tells you you aren't up to scale, but then does nothing to help you out. I am now working in a better school closer to home! As far as the mentor teacher, when they come in and points out something negative, ask her/him for what they would do in a particular situation. Ask, ask, ask what suggestions they have. This will hopefully show them how serious you are about your job. Good luck!
Click to expand...


I think ask, ask, ask, ask, and ask some more is a good idea. Ask them so much that they'd be busy answering their own criticism and hopefully will slow down on criticizing.

To the OP, I'd say (from observing human beings), these teachers might be expecting you to do things the way they do in exact way. I am talking being an*l retentive and not about certain strategy used in special ed based on the diagnosis.
 
This is an old, old post but I thought I'd give an update.

That school I was in was just toxic. It was just a bad environment and very negative overall. I have since switched schools and it's like night and day difference. I get good reviews now, very positive things, and the principal is very encouraging. She realizes that we aren't perfect and that's okay.

Looking back, I really wasn't a bad teacher. I wasn't as experienced, but I wasn't bad. My students progressed and felt valued and excited about learning. So what I've learned is...first year teachers need encouragement, not just a list of all their negative qualities. And I also learned that sometimes it really is just a terrible, terrible environment and switching jobs is the best thing to do.

Oh, if I could just go back and tell myself, "It's okay! You're doing okay! Keep going. Don't listen to the negativity...and start looking for a job in a school with a less toxic environment."
 
I'm sorry for what you are going through! I know what it feels like (having negativity around you in a job). Focus on what you are doing well. If the kids are doing well, I'm sure you will have documentation of it. It wouldn't hurt to look around for other jobs. Until then, stay positive and just know God is preparing you for something great!
 
EBC - Thanks for the update. So glad you are in a good environment. You've probably learned that every school has one or two whiny, nasty people. Steer clear of them and be the excellent teacher you know you are. Yay for you!
 
This sounds horrible. I am in my 6th year of teaching and just two minutes ago felt like I had finally gotten it all together! It takes awhile.

I asked for an IEP day specifically to visit both veteran and new teacher classrooms. It meant giving up some time to do IEPs, but it was very eye-opening. I didn't feel so bad after visiting some classrooms! Maybe ask your mentor teacher who SHE would suggest you observe. I'm sure you'll have more confidence after watching other "master" teachers. In special ed, every day is a new challenge.
 
Aww, ebc - that was awesome to read that update. Good for you! When I first started reading your "discouraged" post, I felt so bad. Then I noticed the date and wondered what had happened to you! So glad you updated and what an awesome insight for new teachers. You should almost c&p your original post and your update together and title it " Feeling discouraged first years? Read this." ;)
 
ZoomZoomZOOM said:
You should almost c&p your original post and your update together and title it " Feeling discouraged first years? Read this." ;)
Click to expand...

I was actually thinking of doing just that. I want first year teachers to know it really does get better, and it's okay if you're not perfect at first! I love my job now, and honestly I forgot that I had been feeling so discouraged before until I came back and read this post.

I read the post and thought, "Did I write that???"
 
It's so hard to hear that someone feels like we aren't doing a good job. Mainly because we deal with human beings, and we can't just "fix" them or their behavior. That means that we don't have absolute, total control of our classrooms. We can try, but we are always at the mercy of our kiddos and fellow observers.

I'm glad things got better. Keep up the good work!
 
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