About two years ago, I went on a trip to Vegas with some girlfriends. One of them (Vicky) completely froze me out and didn't speak to me for days afterward except for some snarky comments on Facebook. When I asked a mututal friend (Grace) if Vicky was upset, she told me to speak to Vicky. As it turned out, vicky felt that I'd ruined the trip for her. Everything I'd done was wrong, from wanting to go to bed at 3am instead of staying up, having one drink instead of two at a bar one night, to heading in early from the pool because I was burning, to a restraunt I'd suggested that the overruled. It was this list of details that I didn't even remember, much less felt like they'd affected anyone else. When I'm with a group, I go with the flow, but things like skin cancer and living on no sleep are not negotiable, and my choices in these areas are about me. And we're not teenagers who need to be joined at the hip 24/7. We're grown adults. Anyway, Grace, who I'd known for years, backed Vicky up completely, which made me think that Vicky had been bitching to her the whole weekend. Yet nothing was mentioned to me until I asked about it....a WEEK later. I apologized, even though I didn't feel I'd done anything wrong. She said it "wasn't about apologizing" whatever that means, and proceeded to leave me out of social gatherings. I have tried to mend this friendship. I really have, but my invitations go either unanswered or declined. The situation that really stings is that I've known Grace for almost two decades and she's letting Vicky come between us. Not that this is unusual, her ex-boyfriend also ruined a friendship for her with someone else....but I'm just trying to make peace and save a friendship. I hate that this is so middle school, and I hate that she can keep sticking me with a knife. Just today Vicky posted a picture of the two of them. When I commented that they looked good and I missed seeing them, Vicky commented that they just weren't healthy enough for me. Seriously? I know I post stuff on Facebook that's workout related, but that's because I have so many FB friends from my gym and running club.... I get that the adult thing would be to give up. Write Grace off as a loss and just get Vicky off of my Facebook friends, but a part of me wants to keep fighting for my friendship...it's been too long to let someone else ruin it. I don't know why I'm pouring all of this out here. I just feel like getting it out in print might help.