pros and cons to getting married during the school year

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Elcsmith, Apr 20, 2008.

  1. Elcsmith

    Elcsmith Companion

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    Apr 20, 2008

    Hi all,
    My fiance and I really want a fall wedding. We're talking about getting married in October over "fall break" (which is really just one teacher workday.) After we got married I would be out for a week for the honeymoom and obviously my name would changing! We're still deciding if this is the best idea or not. Can you guys think of any pros or cons to getting married during the school year. Here are a few I've thought of...

    Pros

    -less expensive than getting married in peak months
    -cooler weather
    -less likely to conflict with vacation

    Cons
    -a week off at the beginning of the school year
    -change in name mid school year
    -explaining to the principal (but she's awesome)

    If you've married mid school year I'd love to hear about your experiences.
    THANKS! This forum rocks!
     
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  3. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I think the time off would be the biggest factor for me. It's a lot of work to take a week off during the school year. Do you have enough personal days to be able to do that?

    My husband and I originally planned a fall wedding (late October), but moved the date up due to scheduling issues. Our schedules were obviously the most important to us, so we wanted to find a date which would accommodate our needs. We also considered the needs of our guests, for whom it would have been much easier to take time off in the summer than in the fall.

    In the end, we chose to get married in mid-August. We were worried about the heat as well, so we chose a more temperate location in the Pacific Northwest, and it turned out to be a beautiful day. We saved quite a bit of money by having our wedding on a Friday afternoon instead of on the weekend.

    Oh, and that's another thing. How much of your wedding are you taking care of yourself? We did most of our stuff entirely on our own, and it got a little hectic as we got closer to the date. If I had not had about a week off before the event to take care of those things, I would have been super stressed.

    Of course, in the end it's your wedding and it should be on a date of your choosing. It will work out either way. :)

    Congratulations!
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Is there a longer fall break you could get married over? We have Teacher's Convention in NJ in November- 2 days off so you wouldn't have to take as many days off in such a situation...A teacher in a local district planned her wedding and then was let go because the board denied her leave and she took it anyway since her plans were already made. I'd run the idea of a week off for the honeymoon by your administrator before planning!
     
  5. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Apr 20, 2008

    I agree with czacza-

    Schools are simply not as lenient with these things. My cousin got married a few weeks ago and is going on her honeymoon over spring break... not such a long wait

    Another teacher I know got married in Nov and is going on her honeymoon this week while school is out.

    I'd say if you don't mind postponing the honeymoon.... that it would be a good idea.
     
  6. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    We don't get personal days, so the only way a teacher could get a week off during the school year would be to apply for a leave of absence. Although they should approve it, there's always a possibility it would be denied, no matter how supportive the principal was. Postponing the honeymoon would be a good idea.
     
  7. luv2garden

    luv2garden Rookie

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    Apr 20, 2008

    My husband and I just recently got married. We really wanted to get married in the fall (it is our favorite season), but it simply was not in the cards for us. So, we decided to push it back to December, so that I would have two weeks off to get things ready, get married, and relax a bit before going back to school. We did not have time to go on a honeymoon over winter break, so we waited and went over spring break (which was just a couple of weeks ago)! It was really something to look forward to, and I only took one day off of school!

    I have not yet changed my name (at school) because I know that it would really upset my kids, so I am waiting until next year.

    I hope everything works out for you!

    :)
     
  8. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Apr 20, 2008

    Congrats!

    It just really depends on how conservative your school board is, the principal would have to ok it, but then she'd still have to answer to the board if they questioned it. I'm thinking mine board members don't have a romantic bone in their body and probably wouldn't approve.

    I'd marry several weeks before schools started if at all possible, start the new year out w/a new name, have the HUGE stress of wedding details behind me so I could just enjoy starting a new life and new school year.

    My daughter married the end of May a couple of years ago and it liked to have killed me trying to do all that planning while being in school, and I didn't have to plan for a sub because I didn't miss any school days. If you have family doing your planning it will be easier for you.

    Good luck!
     
  9. Mamacita

    Mamacita Aficionado

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    Apr 20, 2008

    I got married on a Saturday in January, intending to take off Monday (it was a half-day and a work-day) and go back on Tuesday. Because of the blizzards, I ended up with a two-month honeymoon, buried in snow in the little house out in the country we barely managed to drive to.

    That was enough "honeymoon" for anybody, but for our official honeymoon, we went to Disney World that next fall.

    Who cares WHEN your honeymoon is? Who says it has to be right after the wedding?

    And, closest of all to my heart, who says weddings have to be a huge, expensive deal? We saved our money for Disney World.
     
  10. clarnet73

    clarnet73 Moderator

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    Apr 20, 2008

    I know one teacher who got married right towards the beginning of the school year and just started the year out with her new married name. And another one who just used her maiden name with the kids for the rest of the year and used her new name starting that summer.
     
  11. mrs100

    mrs100 Comrade

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    Apr 20, 2008

    I got married on December 4th a few years back, and I talked to my principal right away to make sure I could take time off for our honeymoon. I used up all my personal days, but I was still able to take the time off. I taught 5th, and I just used my maiden name the rest of the year. Some of them liked calling me by my new name, so I just went with either one. I highly recommend at least trying to go on your honeymoon right away. I don't regret it for a second! Sometimes if people don't go right away, they won't go at all! Talk it over with your principal first and foremost and see how she would feel about you taking a week off for the honeymoon.
     
  12. SaraFirst

    SaraFirst Cohort

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    A teacher at our school got married in the fall and took off the Friday before the wedding and the week after. She used her personal days and took the rest unpaid. You should definitely check ahead of time to see if this is ok. She changed her name and the kids adjusted fine. A few times they called her by her old name, but it was no big deal. Like the others said, it might be easier to take a later honeymoon. Plus, it will be stressful preparing and teaching at the same time.
     
  13. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    Apr 20, 2008

    A teacher at our school got married this Jan. She took off a week and a day. She was stressed trying to get the wedding stuff done, and plan for all the sub work, etc. If you're okay with missing at least a week of school, and your principal and school board are okay with it, then go for it. I agree with another poster who said to talk with your principal before making any plans.
     
  14. deedee

    deedee Connoisseur

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    Apr 20, 2008

    why not have the wedding that weekend in October and have your honeymoon over thanksgiving break or christmas break.

    oh and you might want to check by you but around here october is a very popular time for weddings and the prices are just as high as june/ july summer weddings.
     
  15. GlendaLL

    GlendaLL Aficionado

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    Apr 20, 2008

    My husband and I got married on a Saturday in January (1985). This was a second marriage for both of us, so it was a simple, small wedding. I did everything myself.

    I was teaching at a Lutheran school and my husband was in the Air Force - in Panama City, Florida. My students had music at the end of the day on Friday, so I got to leave early. We were married on Saturday afternoon. My husband and I went to a nice hotel that night. I moved my stuff into his apartment on Sunday. We both went back to work on Monday.

    Later, we went on a honeymoon to Disney World.

    Oh, I changed my name right away. My first graders thought it was funny to call me by a new name.
     
  16. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Apr 20, 2008

    I was going to say the same thing Deedee. End of September beg. of Oct is a very popular time to have a wedding because of the foliage.
     
  17. teacherpippi

    teacherpippi Habitué

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    Do you have to take your honeymoon right away?

    My husband and I were married over Thanksgiving in '06. We had a fall-themed wedding. Because of Thanksgiving, the church was decorated for fall. Family and friends could spend Thanksgiving with their family and many had that Friday off to travel. We will always have a weekend "off" around our anniversary.

    We delayed our honeymoon until this summer- we'll be going to Ireland:D.

    There's no rule to say you have to take your honeymoon right away. What about waiting until winter break or next summer?

    BTW, Congratulations!
     
  18. GoehringTeaches

    GoehringTeaches Comrade

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    Apr 21, 2008

    We always have a week off for Thanksgiving so we flew to Jamaica for our WeddingMoon! Then over Christmas break we had a reception with family and friends. The school wouldn't let me change my name. They said it would be too hard on the kids, but I thought it would be too hard on them to change all of the papers around school.
     
  19. Lives4Math

    Lives4Math Comrade

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    One of my coworkers just got married. They had the date set before she got her job, so there wasn't much choice. She got married on a Saturday and took off 3.5 days. She had to take some days without pay because she didn't have the days to take but she didn't have any problems.
     
  20. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    I was married in January with no regrets.

    Name change was sort of fun for the me and the kids.

    I had X-mas break to iron out the last minutes.

    We honeymooned the last week in February. I do recommend some time in between the wedding and honeymoon. That 5 weeks allowed me to focus on packing, buying, thank you notes, sub lessons, etc. I thoroghly enjoyed that part as well. As for time, I took 4 days unpaid Monday-Thursday as we had Friday and the following Monday off.

    Plan away...it will all fall together well no matter when.
     
  21. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    Wouldn't LET you change your name!!! :eek:
    That is who you are.
    I am uneasy with that decision.
    My first graders at the time found the change enjoyable.
    A lesson it itself.
    I am sorry that happened to you.
     
  22. PEteacher07

    PEteacher07 Cohort

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    We got married in mid January as I was starting my first teaching position 2 weeks prior. I took off Thursday, Friday, and the Monday afterwards and DH and I went on a mini-honeymoon in Ruidoso and took another vacation a year later to Vegas.

    I don't see why a principal would get upset over it. Your kids will get used to your last name. If you have enough sick/personal leave days, you should be able to take a couple off without a much of a hassle.
     
  23. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    My husband and I got married in February. I was student teaching at the time-with no days off!! I did end up taking 4 days off-3 before the wedding and the Monday after-but I had to make up those days at the end of the year, while all my friends had started subbing!! No regrets, though.
    I changed my name right away. The 2nd graders thought it was great!!!
    We have been married 21 years, and we still have not had our honeymoon. : (
    We chose to have a child while we were saving for that honeymoon...and one thing led to another, and over the years the money saved has gone to something else. I have no regrets about that either-my marriage is solid, and we have had enough "honeymoon days" in our 21 years. : )
     
  24. cb4pebbles

    cb4pebbles Companion

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    I say marry when YOU want to. That is your day and you want it to be right for you and your fiance. You could have the children practice using your soon-to-be new name prior to getting married.
     
  25. knittingbec

    knittingbec Comrade

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    I got married December 31. I missed the first 2 days back to school (to spend a day with, then spend a day at the airport saying goodbye to my military husband). We still haven't taken our honeymoon, and that was over 3 years ago! The name change wasn't an issue... I didn't insist that the students call me by my "new" name, some did and some didn't. Most of my colleagues kept calling me by my maiden name and that was fine with me too.
    You can always delay your honeymoon--but maybe you don't have to. It depends on your district. Last year, I was granted a week of leave (3 personal days + 3 days without pay) to go to a wedding in Mexico with no questions asked.
    I agree with the above poster--get married when you want to!
     
  26. KIF

    KIF Companion

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    My husband and I got married a few days after Christmas this past year. It was perfect because we had a few days off for a mini-honeymoon before school started. We then went to Jamaica over spring break. It was WONDERFUL we didn't have to stress about the wedding and the honeymoon at the same time. We thought it was neat that we got to spread it out and glow a bit longer! Plus, a winter wedding in the snow...beautiful!
     
  27. KIF

    KIF Companion

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    Oh yeah, and the name change. I officially changed my name but from January til now I go by both names and it has not been a big deal at all. The kids can call me either or both.
     
  28. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    I originally wanted an autumn wedding, but since both of my parents and my husband's stepmother were also teachers, I was begged to be a June Bride.
     
  29. Emma35

    Emma35 Connoisseur

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    I say take your honeymoon when you have a break from school. I have read thread after thread, post after post, about how it is so awful to take kids out of school during the school year for vacations. If it is so awful for parents to take kids out of school for vacations how can teachers say it is OK to take a week off for a honeymoon? Kind of like a double standard. Just my opinion.
     
  30. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    In my school a bunch of teachers have taken off a week for their weddings. It was no big deal. I would do it only if you have accumulated time to take off and prepare in advance.
     
  31. TampaTeacher

    TampaTeacher Comrade

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    Congrats!

    My husband and I wanted to get married in the fall, but decided that since you "just can't reason with hurricane season," we'd move our wedding up to spring. I wasn't teaching at the time, but I still couldn't afford to take off a lot of time.

    Instead, I took off Friday, got married Saturday, and spent Sunday and Monday with my new hubby. We waited and had a Christmastime honeymoon. It was wonderful, because we had two wonderful events to look forward to. :)
     
  32. TeachGrade1

    TeachGrade1 Rookie

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    I got married in October of my first year teaching. I started out with my last name and I changed it after the honeymoon. It was actually a fun experience. My students had the opportunity to meet my fiance and we all had a party. I gave the kiddos little silver rings to celebrate. It was not a negative experience for me at all. I felt confident that my kids were in excellent hands during the week of my honeymoon(amazing sub). I came back refreshed and relaxed, it was well worth it!
     
  33. New3rdTeacher

    New3rdTeacher Comrade

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    I think you should get married when you want. This is your big day, I think if you plan accordingly, like if you find a sub that may be familiar with you or your class, you will be just fine! Getting married is a big deal and you shouldn't worry about missing a week of school.
    As far as the name change, maybe you should just tell the kids, they would think it's cool actually
     
  34. teachergifted

    teachergifted New Member

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    I got married on September 3. It during my third year of teaching. Both my husband and I had too much going on in our families at the beginning of summer so we chose Sept. We chose the third because that was when we were engaged a year previous. It was good because it was Labor Day weekend, so we already had Monday off. I took a personal day Friday to get ready and Tuesday to recover we stayed a night in a resort hotel on Sat and Sunday after the wedding Sat afternoon and reception Sat night. We took our honeymoon in June of the following year. While it was a long wait it was nice to have something to look forward to. You could even not wait that long and go during in Christmas break. It can be done!
     
  35. stampin'teacher

    stampin'teacher Cohort

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    May 28, 2013

    I got married October 24 and I wouldn't change a thing. I also wanted a fall wedding-love the weather, colors, etc. We were married on Sunday and I took off the Friday before, and took the 3 days afterwards off for a "mini-honeymoon." We decided to take our longer honeymoon to Cancun during the following spring break.

    I haven't read all the other posts, but my advice to you is get married when you want to get married. The kids will survive-just make sure you have clear plans for when you're out.
     
  36. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    This is a 5 year old thread. I sure hope the OP has figured it out by now!
     
  37. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    :woot:
     
  38. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    I would get married when I wanted to get married. Not when it was convenient for the school or the students. You are talking about one week out of the whole school year. Versus having the anniversary date that you really want. I've subbed for many Fall and Spring weddings. It was never an issue in any of the schools where I have been. Just make sure that you spend some of your summer planning for that week as well as your wedding.

    That being said, you might want to consider anniversary trips down the road - while a P is probably not going to have any problem with you taking off for a wedding/honeymoon, you probably aren't going to be able to go on any trips to celebrate your anniversary. We never do anyhow, so that would be a moot point for us.
     
  39. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Ooops! lol! I didn't pay any attention to the date!
     
  40. Roobunny

    Roobunny Comrade

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    May 28, 2013

    I agree with this. Although I am not getting married during the school year (my wedding date is set for June 29th), we are postponing the honeymoon until next summer when we'll have more time and money - it also gives us something else to look forward to.
     
  41. stampin'teacher

    stampin'teacher Cohort

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    Whoops! Just saw it in the "all new posts" so I didn't look at the date. Looks like my sleep deprivation since the new baby has gotten the better of me on this one! :lol:
     

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