Prom Dilemma on the Radio This Morning

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by KinderCowgirl, May 5, 2011.

  1. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    May 5, 2011

    I stayed in bed longer than I should have this morning listening to them talk on the radio. A mom called in saying that her son's friend is having a post-prom party at his house. The parents are going to let them drink beer, take all the keys and not let anyone drive.

    This mom is feeling peer pressure from other parents because she believes it's wrong and won't let her child go. Their reasoning is they could get a hotel room and drink, etc. (which I'm not sure would be so easy, since they are obviously going to know they are there for prom and underage). And are really giving her a hard time about it.

    I would also not let my child go to this party. I think it's really wrong for parents to try to be "cool" under the guise of protecting their kids. Others were calling in saying they would even go so far as to call the police (that I don't think I could do-the kids could be arrested with their parents, which I know, they are breaking the lay, but I'm not sure I could do that).

    I just can't believe beyond the unethicalness (I know that's probably not a word) the liability...if one of those kids sneaks out and drives and hurts someone, or gets alcohol poisoning-that these parents would even risk that lawsuit.

    What do you think?
     
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  3. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    My son wouldn't be going...and if he did, I would call the police.
     
  4. INteacher

    INteacher Aficionado

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    what do I think . . . . WRONG, WRONG and WRONG!! If they are trying to prevent them from drinking and driving, don't supply beer!!! I don't and never will understand this logic???

    My daughter wouldn't be going and thankfully I don't think she would want to go.

    I truly don't get parents like this. I have spent the past 10 years teaching my daughters the dangers of underage drinking. I just don't get it??!!!
     
  5. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    My son would not be going and I most likely would call the police to let them know their will be a party with underage drinking going on.

    Breaking the law is not "cool", it is WRONG...period. The fact these parents would even risk the possibility of someone sneaking out or getting alcohol poisoning tells me they aren't thinking like adults, so I have no sympathy for any consequences they would suffer for deliberately engaging in such grossly negligent (and idiotic) behavior.

    As far as peer pressure goes, I was never part of the "IN" crowd in school anyway, so I don't really care if a bunch of adolescent parents don't think I'm as "cool" as them. And any parent that would resort to peer pressure isn't a real friend anyway. I don't need them or their approval.
     
  6. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    May 5, 2011

    These kinds of parties are unfortunately very common here. The police just brush things under a rug as long as it's on private property and there are adults present. Because of this, many students grow up thinking that they are above the law, which really does a disservice to them.

    I attended some parties like this as a child (my senior ring party was one) and never drank. I was always the designated driver kid in high school.

    That said, my parents did let me drink at home with them (I'm talking wine at dinner, champagne to toast things, an occasional traditional drink for different occasions, etc.) so it wasn't a big mystery to me and I didn't feel the need to binge drink. I think there's a big difference in allowing a small amount of alcohol in a controlled environment and providing large quantities of alcohol to a large number of minors.
     
  7. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    May 5, 2011

    I also want to add that as bad of an idea as this is, at least they are doing it after prom and not before.
     
  8. Shanoo

    Shanoo Habitué

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    May 5, 2011

    The drinking age in my province is 18. We do supply alcohol at our prom. It's a wet/dry event. Ages are double checked with school records and ID before the students get their appropriately coloured bracelet. At prom, any underage person caught with an alcoholic drink is sent home (a parent or guardian needs to come and pick them up. The student waits in a different room until they arrive). Any underage person caught drunk is sent to a juvenile detention center, no questions asked. Any of age person caught too drunk to properly care for themselves is sent to the drunk tank, no questions asked. At the end of the night, everyone needs to be picked up by an adult. Their rides need to be pre-arranged and the adult needs to show ID before they can take the kids.

    That being said, we are following the laws of our province. Growing up, I never understood (and I still don't understand) those parents who feel it "necessary" to be cool in the eyes of their children. I didn't drink until I was of age (the age of majority is 19 in the province in which I grew up). My children will not have my permission to drink until they are of age.

    I would have a hard time letting my kids go to that party. Especially considering the gap in their ages and the age of majority in the US...3 years is a huge difference.
     
  9. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    My parents used to let my siblings do this. By then I was over 21 and teaching. I always refused to be around when they did, as I am sure I could be in trouble as well for serving to minors. While I do think our drinking age should be lowered, I would not want the responsibility of hosting this type of party. I also think that by "taking their keys at the door" they are encouraging not just a casual drink but drunkenness. (not that they should drive even after one drink, but the whole perception of the party seems to be getting DRUNK not responsible celebratory drinking).
     
  10. MuggleBug

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    May 5, 2011

    No, my kid would not be going. I'd tell him he could have friends over our house...with NO booze...just lots of soda and food. :) The parents could get arrested and yeah, I'd probably tip off the cops because I think that's stupid and dangerous. Not only are there high school seniors, but what if some bring younger dates? I would not want my 14 or 15-year-old daughter to feel pressured to keep up with the older kids.
     
  11. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    May 5, 2011

    Same with me, MissC...growing up in Louisiana lol
     
  12. Mrs. K.

    Mrs. K. Enthusiast

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    May 5, 2011

  13. kcjo13

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    1. No, my child would not go. She would probably dislike me for a while, but that's ok, I'm not on this planet to be her bestie, I'm here to keep her safe and teach her right from wrong. Give her a few years and she'll get that.

    2. Is it the wisest move to be advertising an underage kegger on the radio?

    3. Despite what some parents think, their children will respect them a lot more for the boundaries they set, not for the rules they allow them to break.
     
  14. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    Interesting article. My parents let me have small glasses of wine on special occasions with them at an early age. I never became a huge drinker...rarely drink at all...and don't like wine that much anymore. My brothers are the same way.

    I forgot to mention...I would not let the girls go to a party like that. Inviting kids to get drunk is absurd.
     
  15. midwestteacher

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    My children also would not be going to this party. We have had issues like this in the past. The parents will actually sit with a police band scanner and listen for a call to their house. They heard the call and went out and took all the beer cans and gave the kids sodas. A few years back, a school board member let their child have this party at their house after graduation.
    The problem around here is everyone has connections. Cops aren't going to this house because the kid's uncle is a deputy, etc. I wish just one of these parties would get busted to teach people a lesson.
     
  16. Cerek

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    May 5, 2011

    The article is interesting, but it pointed out the major flaw I see in any type of justification offered for parents hosting parties.

    It stated that some parents think it is inevitable that teens will experiment with alcohol. NO IT IS NOT INEVITABLE! Chances are, these parents were the ones sneaking around "experimenting" with alchohol, cigarettes and other things when they were teens, but just because THEY did it doesn't mean their children will - especially if they raise their kids in an environment of respect, but also with boundaries.

    Both of my parents were heavy smokers and my dad was a heavy drinker. I've never had a single puff of a cigarette and I never took a drink of beer until I was in college. Even then, it only took 3-4 to get a buzzed and that was when I stopped. I also WALKED everywhere on campus, so I never drove after drinking. While I do like a beer every now and then, it is just an occasional thing for me.

    I've also NEVER experimented with drugs, even when some of my college buddies were passing joints around the room. I simply held up my hand and declined, which made the guy offering even happier cause he got a second hit.

    Any parent who uses the excuse "They are going to do it anyway" is just making an excuse for not being adult enough to let their child get mad at them and may still be coping with guilt over their own youthful indiscretions.

    Also, even though I do like to have a beer every now and then, I NEVER have beer at the house for my boys to see. I don't lie or hide the fact that I drink one from time to time, but I never do it in front of them. And I NEVER go out to the pub or bar when they are with me. I have time to do my own thing when they are with their mom. When they are with me, it is THEIR time, not mine. Some parents think have a hard time with that concept as well.
     

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