just wanted some feedback on the following scenario. I am a new principal and firmly believe in backing my teachers but here's what happened. Parent confronts teacher in morning before school starts to complain about things involving her daughter. Parent asks secretary when I am available to see her and I say 10 am so there is time for cooling down. I speak w/teacher to get her version of events. Now, keep in mind that the parent taught at this school until this year and there is a history of a personality conflict. I have cordial meeting w/parent and listen to her concerns and tell her no changes in the teachers operation of the classroom will be made by me. I also tell her in the future to make an appt. to see teacher. Parent says she was wrong and accepts my decision and thanks me for listening. Now, here's the rub. I tell the teacher what I told the parent and she blows a gasket, so to speak, saying I did not back her. I told her in the future if there is a problem to talk to parent first then I will sit in on meeting between the 2 of them. My thinking is that 2 adults should be able to rationally discuss things in the same room to get the best result for the student. Teacher writes me nasty letter refusing ever to meet w/that parent w/o a 3rd party in the room and threatens to resign. Teacher runs to the pastor=my boss and vents. My question is how much support does a person need? My leadership style is much different than my predecessor and I am not a micromanager but I make it a point to know what's up in the building. This teacher has a rep where if she does not get her way( which previously she always did) then all hell breaks loose. When hired, I met individually and collectively explaing my expectations and style and they were all on board.
Maybe I'm misreading things, but to me it sounds like you DID support her! I think the way you handled the situation was exactly what was needed, and the teacher who is upset sounds a wee bit high maintenance! You asked how much support should be given, and I think that with teachers that are high maintenance, no amount of support will be enough for them, so just do your best (like you did!), and (like my Daddy always reminded me...) "To thine own self be true!"
You obviously backed the teacher, don't second guess yourself. As divey said, you DID support her! Good luck- and stay firm that you did support her and it's time to MOVE ON!
It sounds to me like you backed the teacher. What did she want from the situation? You to ban the parent? I mean, come on. Some people need a reality check.
thanks folks for the feedback. the net result was she threw me " under the bus" to the pastor who said she was out of line. Then, in a different meeting, the pastor told me that even though I was right , I have to meet w/ her to try to get along for the greater good.
I agree with the other posters in that it appears that you did back her up. You told the parent that you would not force any changes in the classroom and that the next time she wants to speak with the teacher to make an appointment. What else did this teacher expect you to do? I honestly don't envy the job that administrators have. As a teacher I have had a difficult time with some coworkers in the past, but at least for the most part I can do my own thing and avoid them as much as possible. As a principal you are forced to have contact with these people and try to keep the peace as best you possibly can. I really hope that you're able to work things out!
Two words: personality disorder. My guess is that the teacher has a bit of narcissistic personality disorder. You DID back her. As a teacher, I would much rather the principal tell parents to speak to me than to encourage parents to complain about me to the principal without my knowledge. Since this is a religious school with a boss/pastor, things are more complicated, but in general as the principal, the buck stops with you. It sounds to me like this is a classic "testing the waters" scenario with the teacher (much like what kids put us through every year ), and I would suggest that you do not back down/apologize/placate her for the greater good. Just as you supported the teacher, I would hope the pastor would support you. Otherwise, he will need to become a micromanager, and you will never know if your decisions will stand.
Thanks,Beth and Wunderwhy, mtg w/ teacher scheduled for tomorrow am. When I asked her about meeting she was way too eager. Little does she know that I do not plan on placating her. My game plan is to explain AGAIN how I operate and that she has to quit personalizing everything. However, I will start out being very cordial and if that does not work, it will be a short meeting and a long year.
You absolutely did what you should have done and backed that teacher perfectly! After years of having an admin. who was scared and backed parents more than teachers, I would LOVE an admin like you who really does back up his/her teachers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This teacher probably was rubbed the wrong way by this parent and has her back up. I also agree that she is high maintenence. DON"T WORRY ABOUT IT THOUGH! YOU DID A GREAT JOB!!!!
It's possible that teacher is just high maintence. You could have asked her what should would have preferred? While you have the upper authority, sometimes its the little things that get misunderstood. Maybe you said something to the parent that was innocent to you but blown up in her mind based on her previous perceptions of the parent/child and the situation that you are unaware of. I will give you a perfect example of easy misconceptions. I love to work outside my classroom (aide) hours for a bit at the end of the day (to unwind) and I tend to do some extra things other aides don't do. Because my current teacher has a previous reputation of leaning too much on her team teachers and this is her first year without a team teacher, everyone is assuming that what I do is because she is leaning and asking extra of me. I did these EXACT same duties last year. They aren't because of her. She doesn't ask me to do them. She appreciates it, but they are a labor of love, not of overburden. It is assumed by anyone that sees me including my Principal. In fact, others have openly made the comment to my Principal until one day she wanted to move me and I protested a little. She didn't realize not only did I love doing those extra things, but I love where I'm at because I have the freedom to do those extra things. Big misconception! Bottom line though, asking the parent to set up an appt with the teacher is the perfect solution and is completely backing the teacher up while listening to the parent at the initial meeting so they know you at least heard them. It's a fine line between the two.
I agree with the others that you did support your teacher. I think she needs to realize that she is an adult. If she did she might realize that the planet doesn't revolve around her and that it is in the child's best interest to get along with the mother as well as possible. I am assuming this is a private school since you mentioned she went to the pastor? If so then she might need to be reminded that the mother she thinks you didn't support her to (which in fact you did) pays her salary. If she doesn't remember that fact maybe she needs a refresher course . Good luck in the morning
