Prepping Parent for Future Trouble....

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by TeacherGrl7, Feb 6, 2012.

  1. TeacherGrl7

    TeacherGrl7 Devotee

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    Feb 6, 2012

    I am asking a parent to come in for a conference in a few weeks when we meet with only parents of students in need. This boy is one of my brightest, but very defiant. Mom is well aware of this (she warned me all about him before school even started). I have had contact with her on days when he has been out of control or doing physical harm or destruction, but for the most part between my assistant and I we handle his issues throughout the day and move on. I don't feel the need, or have the time, to contact Mom every day about his behaviors, and most of them are irritating and defiant, but not major. My assistant, unfortunately, has turned into his one-on-one on many days to deal with him so that I can teach uninterrupted.

    I want to have Mom in to make sure that she is aware of this- that just because she isn't hearing from me every day doesn't mean her son is a little angel in school all day. I've said this before, but she's a bit flaky so I want to make SURE she gets it. And next year when he is in a classroom with more kids and only one teacher, I think she will be hearing from his teacher much more often. I don't want her to sit in the K room and play the, "I don't know what's going on, he was so good in pre-k!" card.

    Any thoughts? Is this a good idea/bad idea/and idea how to word this to her??
     
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  3. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Feb 6, 2012

    Is there any way to record his behavior on a daily chart that mom needs to sign? Maybe just a quick sticker for the day (green=great, yellow=needed some assistance, red=disruptive most of the day). Then mom would have daily feedback on his behavior without you calling or chatting with her everyday.

    Is your pre-K part of the public school system with the K?
     
  4. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Feb 6, 2012

    Document, document, document. When you talk to mom show her all the documentation.
     
  5. TeacherGrl7

    TeacherGrl7 Devotee

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    Feb 6, 2012

    I have documented everything major from this year. I write her notes or e-mails when major things happen (such as when he slapped my TA in the face several weeks back) and I have copies of all of them along with her replies. I don't think I have to prove anything to her, honestly, with my documentation or a daily report- she knows her son, she is NEVER surprised when a negative report goes home or if I need to pull her aside at dismissal to chat. I just want to get it across to her that the world of pre-k with a 9:1 ratio is a much easier place for him to be successful than the world of pre-k where right now we have a 27:1 ratio.
     
  6. SamIAm

    SamIAm Companion

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    Feb 6, 2012

    I think that maybe you should try to go at this with a more proactive approach. If you feel that this child's behavior is such a problem that he will probably have difficulty functioning in kindergarten (which is what it sounds like), then maybe you should talk to the mother about seeking the help of a behavioral specialist.

    The first thing I would do (after speaking to your director) is contact early intervention, and find out what you can do to get this child help. Any observations or assessments of the child will need to be approved by mom first, but you want to know what you're doing before you discuss it with her. I don't know how things work there, but in NC I was able to have an EI specialist come and sit in on my classes to observe one of my children who had problems. It was so helpful because not only did she give me ideas of how to deal with his issues, but she gave the parents recommendations on things they could do and referred them to a occupational therapist.

    I know that it may seem weird to have a young child evaluated for behavioral issues, but if it's interfering with his ability to function than it is just as necessary as if he had a speech problem.

    If you don't feel like his issues are that severe, then I would think it would still be more helpful if you talk to mom about action you can both take to lessen the problem behavior. She may just be at a loss as to what to do, and could use a little support and guidance herself.
     
  7. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Feb 7, 2012

    First, I would talk to the director about how she thinks you should handle it. Some schools wouldn't want you to have this discussion. Second, I would try to be as positive as possible about the growth you have observed, then I would share my major concerns and ask her to speak to her pediatrician about them. Plant a seed about having him evaluated by the school district or a developmental specialist. I might mention that we all want him to reach his fullest potential, and you think he may need intervention to be successful in kindergarten. Stress that it is not about getting him labeled or medicated, but that it is about helping him feel successful at school and in his interactions with peers. Ideally, this conversation would have happened closer to the beginning of the year, but at least he could be tested before the end of the year and receive some services. I would also talk to him about her choice of kindergarten for him, although it may be too late in some areas. I would suggest she look for a school with a lower student-teacher ratio. These are uncomfortable conversations, but they need to happen. Good luck!
     
  8. TeacherGrl7

    TeacherGrl7 Devotee

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    Feb 8, 2012

    I should probably also mention that this is a parent who has explained his behavior in September to me by saying it's a part of his astrological sign. It is my and my director's gut instinct that he would not qualify for any early intervention services, because he is performing well above grade level academically and our district as a rule of thumb will not provide services under those conditions. I'm hoping if it continues in kindergarten and starts affecting his academics, they will be able to help more. But right now, I'm just trying to get him there. And really, on a day to day basis, he functions quite well. There is probably one day a week, sometimes two, where he takes over my assistant's life. The rest of the time he is defiant but workable for me. My fear is that he is going to end up in kindergarten with a teacher who doesn't have the time to give him (which, who does these days?) and escalates his behaviors.
     

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