Pre-schooler that always wants to be center-of-attention!

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by puff5655, Feb 27, 2006.

  1. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    Feb 27, 2006

    Just asking whether you think the teacher is handling this okay, or any suggestions (for parents or teacher)...

    We have a family friend who's daughter is used to being center of attention- she is an only child, and was the only child at her daycare since she was 2 (daycare owner was retiring)..

    So the first day of pre-k was trouble.. she talks when other kids are talking, is sort of the class clown, grabs things from other children, isnt a very good sharer, and she will NOT sleep during naptime... she gets up and moves around and tries to talk to the other students.

    There are 20 kids in the class (yah, I know..alot!) and their system is like this: She puts them all in a circle and whoever was good during nap gets a sticker. She has never gotten a sticker. Then on Fridays sometimes, they get to lollipop if they were good. She has only gotten one once (and only because I was tutoring her that day during naptime and she was good for me).

    When this little girl misbehaves, theres no time out or anything- teacher sends her right to the principals office, she even has to take naptime there pretty often. I really think the teacher dislikes her, or is just sick of her, because she gets mad at her for the smallest things, like say they are reading a book about dogs, and she will say I want a dog. Teacher will say "It's not about you right now."

    She went to the principal a few days ago just for sticking out her tongue. I know the teacher must have her hands full, but any comments on this?? There has to be some other way to curve this behavior, and this obviously isnt working!
     
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  3. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Feb 27, 2006

    No one can rightly answer whether the teacher is handling this child correctly. We are not in her shoes. However, I can tell you that when I had a child in my class who acted like that and I had exhausted every trick in the book to change her behavior, I had her removed from our school and I had all the support in the world. It sounds as though this child needs a change. If that is not possible, then the teacher need some major help to make it through the year with her.
     
  4. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Feb 27, 2006

    I agree with Grammy. It's hard to say because I feel for the teacher if she is just sick and tired of dealing with it. However, maybe she needs to remind herself to pick her battles if she is over reacting to small situations. I have one that I sometimes have to remind myself with. She has these small annoying habits that just bug me. But I have to remind myself to just chill out sometimes. Maybe she needs to start taking toys away from her. The consequences seem kind of odd, but again, she may be at her wits end.
     
  5. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    Feb 28, 2006

    I agree that she should change schools. But they don't know where else they could put her. The publick schools have an even high s:t ration at about 25:1 (sometimes an aid), so that couldn't be good for her. There is another private school in the area that has 15 students for every 1 teacher, which is great, but they are full for the year.
     
  6. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    You know, I was thinking about this. Has the teacher tried to just ignore things that she says out of turn? By saying things like "it's not about you right now" she is just giving her the attention she is looking for. By ignoring it she isn't giving in. I know it's hard to let things go sometimes, but ignoring her may solve a few of the more minor incidents.

    I am also questioning the lollypop thing. I'm not comfortable with that. Don't know really why. I think there should be some other sort of reward system beyond just that...like an immediate system, not something that is just handed out at the end of the week. It should be immediate rather than a process all week.
     
  7. ABall

    ABall Fanatic

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    Feb 28, 2006

    Are the parents working with the girl at home? hey should be playing games(board games) with her to teach her how to take turns, they should teach her not to talk when they (the parents) are talking like on the phone or to other adults. Are the parents away from the girl all the time, is she acting out because she wants adult attention?
     
  8. ABall

    ABall Fanatic

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    Feb 28, 2006

    The girl also needs to be praised when she is good.
    she should see how fun it is to ge a sticker or other reward so she wants to, and also verbal praise instead of always being talked down to.
     
  9. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I agree ABall. Good point. I understand that it's hard to see past all the incidents this child may cause, but the girl or any child for that matter, will never change if she isn't shown what could happen when she behaves. It's no different than a teacher having a boss that never gives him/her praise...children are no different. Who would want to perform their best if they never get recognized for it?

    I would also bring it up to the parents about maybe getting her into a few small play groups outside of the center. Like at the YM or at church if they attend.
     
  10. Lainie

    Lainie Companion

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    Feb 28, 2006

    Also, if she seems to be wanting to be the center of attention, it would help to do lots of noticing other kids' good behavior. Then she'd be motivated to behave... I have one like this (she reminds me of the little kangaroo in Horton Hears a Who), and I thought I had her about calmed down and ready to not be the center of the universe... and then her birthday rolled around, and it's all over. (Might I add, she is the boss at her house, and it's amazing to me how crazy parents can get over their 'little angel' being treated the same as every other child... ugh)
     
  11. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    I have a child in my class who I sometimes have to separate from the others until he behaves. When he gets the point, we start over again.I have eyes in the back of my head...just for him ,but I do not single him out. I question if this teacher has any affection for the child at all. If not, nothing will work because kids have a keen sense of who does and does not like them. This might be a no win situation if there is no where for this child to move to. That is really a waste of time for all involved and could cause some permanent damage to the child.
     
  12. puff5655

    puff5655 Cohort

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    Mar 1, 2006

    I think she does get the sense that her teacher doesnt like her. Like when the other kids say something during the story, she'll say "that's nice", but when this girl says something, its the "its not about you right now.." and I can tell shes gets upset when she hears that.. but shes not one to wallow on things.

    She def. isn't desperate for adult attention.. like I said she is the ONLY child at her daycare (where she still goes after school til 4) and then she gets all her parents attention for the rest of the day. They do work with her on some things, but taking turns I'm not sure about, I'm pretty sure they just let her win at everything. In her house, the world revolves around her, so she is just used to it.

    I agree she also has to be praised when she is good.

    And I think ignoring her would be the best thing. Thanks all!
     
  13. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    She may not be seeking out her parents attention, but she could still be seeking out the teachers attention. If this child senses the teacher doesn't like her, then she is going to act out to get her attention if she can only get it negatively.

    I would talk to the parents about teaching her to lose and not be so competetive with others. ALL children need to learn how to lose. Have them also do taking turn exercises. If they have any other children in the family (lliek cousins) have them invite them over to play. Just a few suggestions.

    I don't understand the set up a bit though. Does she go to another daycare or a private sitter during the day then come to your daycare or something? How is she the only child there?

    One more question: how many hours is this child at your center when she is there? And how many days?
     
  14. kidsalot

    kidsalot Comrade

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    Mar 1, 2006

    The teacher does sound a bit harsh. However, I also have a kindergartener who fits this same description in her behavior. It is very, very difficult to deal with this child. She too is an only child .From a teacher's viewpoint I can understand the teacher's frustration. It only takes one child such as this to turn the classroom into chaos. The other children suffer terribly and it is exhausting to deal with these behaviors every day. Now that said we are teachers and we need to set aside our own personal feelings for a child and keep in mind that they are only children. Sarcasm and impatients only negatively affects this situation making it worse. This teacher needs to work closely with the parents and find some impetus to help this child understand these behabviors are not acceptable. I still find praise works the best. Praise the children who are exhibiting appropriate behavior AND praise the little girl when she even momentarily shows the targeted behaviors. It is a LOT of work but in the long run everyone benefits.
     
  15. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    I would like to comment about the replies this teacher is giving to the little girl when she answers inappropriately in circle. I think what the teacher is saying is way over the child's head..."This is not about you" is not a thing to say to a child of this age. She should ignore her or she should answer her with something pertaining to the discussion so the little girl gets the hang of it. I have this happen with a couple of my children and the others just look at them like they are STUPID... I show no expression, but just go on and sometimes say, "We are talking about weather, Susie."..and just move on.
     
  16. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I agree Grammy
     
  17. Myname

    Myname Comrade

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    I think ignoring the negative behavior will do wonders. And the minute she does something that is correct really praise her for it right away.

    We have a time at our circle where we have to take turns and the one little girl who always wanted to be first and always wanted to be the center of attention I would put last. I start out by saying EVERYBODY gets a turn and I am going to pick someone. An example is having someone come up stand by me and sing a song.
    They love to do this.
    Another thing is play duck, duck goose. Do not have this child start out the game she has to wait to be chosen. And once again EVERYONE gets picked during the game but you don't know when your turn will be.
    Also we said this once before with the kids and seems to work, the saying you get what you get and don't have a fit. This works when you hand out scissors or something and they want a certain color. Those kids that rule their homes always get what they want and this works well with my class on breaking that I want blue or I want red. You may find that the kids who are the ones to always get their way are the first to repeat this when another child wants a certain color, LOL.
     
  18. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Mar 2, 2006

    I do this too. The more a child says "me me me" or talks out of turn they go last and have to wait longer. The more patient ones get to go first.
     

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