Prayer for my nephew

Discussion in 'Prayer Request Forum' started by wldywall, Jan 15, 2007.

  1. wldywall

    wldywall Connoisseur

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    Jan 15, 2007

    Here is the situation, my brother (who is suffering from terminal stupidity) is in jail, and will be for a long time. My former sister-in-law lost custody of my nephew years ago in the divorce but was able to get physical custody of my nephew when my brother was arrested.

    Fast forward two years. My nephew (we will call him M) has not been in school for a year and a half, his mom told the state I was homeschooling him (that was news to me) and in that time period M was diagnosed with diabeties. As of friday my husband and I have custody, mom lost it because she did not have him in school and was not controlling his diabeties.

    He is special ed, needs speech therapy, has juvinile diabeties and is one pissed off kid. He often refuses to do whatever we ask, has gotten violent and broken things, will refuse to take his insulin when he needs to, and has basically been able to do what he wanted when he wanted for two years, so accepting authority isn't a strong suit right now, oh, did I mention he is a teenager????

    Please pray that hubbie and I have the wisdom to give him the care he needs, that my kids can accept his presence and that we can help him heal his broken heart. Pray that we can all survive the stress we are now under. Pray we get all the help we need and help we didn't even know to ask for!

    Thanks
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jan 15, 2007

    How old is he?

    wow, you guys really have your hands full. How wonderful that you're willing to take all this on, to try to help your nephew back on a path towards some sort of normalcy.
     
  4. jenglish97

    jenglish97 Devotee

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    Jan 15, 2007

    Wow, my prayers are with you and your family. You are truely amazing people to take in your nephew after a few years of ups and downs. May you have the love, support and patience. Keep us posted.
     
  5. wldywall

    wldywall Connoisseur

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    He will be 14 next week, and over all is a wonderful kid, but he has issues, big ones and well I made my brother a promise and I never break a promise. My brother may be stupid, he may deserve to be where he is, but I promised to take care of his son, it is only a shame it took us this long to make it happen.
     
  6. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Jan 15, 2007

    My prayers are with you all; your brother is lucky to have you.
     
  7. etcetera83

    etcetera83 Cohort

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    Jan 15, 2007

    Prayers for you and your family. Especially for your nephew and that your kids will adjust and accept. You are doing a wonderful thing.
     
  8. wldywall

    wldywall Connoisseur

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    Jan 24, 2007

    Needs tons more prayers. Nephew was upset about having to go to the diabieties doc and drank a bottle of french vanilla coffee creamer, so his sugar was very high and his ketones were high. He hasn't really been doing his sugar checking and insulin right, but we couldn't make him do it. We tried to get ahold of the case worker to see if we could hold him down to do it, but her voicemail box was full and we could not leave her a message. Well the diabeties doc said he wants nephew in a boot camp program for diabeties, which we thought was to help him relearn how to care for his diabeties, after several phone calls we found out the docs told social services we weren't caring for his diabeties right, they are starting a new investigation for neglect into US and the program is a juvenille detention program he won't ever come out of.

    We have said there were huge roadblocks in our way and have him enrolled in school (he was to start tommorrow) in a special EI (emotinally impared classroom) with other troubled kids, and diabetics where every moment of his school day would be regimented. But it took a week and a half. We don't have insurance on him yet save for the medicade in moms name, which limited our ablity to get him to a psychaitrist. He was to have testing done at our pscyhologist, but can't now, he will miss the appointment.

    Its been TWO weeks and we are already in deep trouble for not being perfect enough when we got NO support and our nephew may be lost to us forever. If he goes into that program he has no contact with any family again.

    Please pray. We need help.
     
  9. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Jan 24, 2007

    Um. Several things here don't sound right.

    From exactly whom did you hear about this "juvenile detention program he won't ever come out of"? Unless the kid himself is in trouble with the law, that seems odd. It should also take a judge's order to accomplish.

    Let me suggest that you pull together documentation here of what you've been doing (or trying to do) for your nephew - the programs you've been trying to get into, the things you've tried to get him to do - plus a timeline of the events as you understand them so far that will establish that your direct involvement in the boy's life is in fact very, very recent.

    You may need some legal help here. You might want to contact the nearest law school or the county bar association - there are attorneys who do pro bono work, and I'm sure some of them take (or can at least give advice about) family law. There may also be a referral to some sort of advocate who can help you navigate the bureaucracy here.
     
  10. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Jan 24, 2007

    Try finding a diabetes presentation seminar or something that will show him what diabetes does to you and possibly meet others like him (particularly in his age group). Book smart and physically coming to terms with the knowledge of why it is important to take care of yourself are two different things.
     
  11. wldywall

    wldywall Connoisseur

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    My mom put a lawyer on retainer when we were going to get custody of nephew before we found out about child protective services involvement, we got him from mom on Christmas eve, and were going to go to court, when the court called us. The lawyer told me about the program and what it really was, then I researched it online. It is for at least 6 months, most often 12 or more months and they decide when he gets out. The diabeties clinic told hubbie at the appointment they wanted to put him into a "diabeties bootcamp" to help him relearn how to care for his diabeties, hubbie agreed, then we found out the rest of the information. Now we are freaked out. I have a time line of things we have been doing since the 12th when we got custody. We went to the school on the 15th to get him registered, got the birth certificate on the 12th and made an appointment with the psychologist and was in to see him on the 19th. The psychologist wanted him to be tested today or tomorrow, which cannot be done now because he is in the hosptial.

    We are freaking out and heartsick and doing all we can to fix things.

    God help us!
     
  12. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Jan 24, 2007

    When did you last talk to the lawyer? If it hasn't been recently, you need to have a chat, pronto.
     
  13. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Jan 24, 2007

    Since you have custody of him and he does not have parents he should be entitled to some kind of Medicaid benefits. Check the Department of Social Services in your state. You should not be responsible for the cost of his medical bills. There are so many loopholes in the system you just have to learn how to navigate. Find a lawyer as was suggested.
     
  14. wldywall

    wldywall Connoisseur

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    Jan 24, 2007

    I talked to the lawyer tonight, she knows what is going on, and said if we do what child services wants we should be fine, but we don't want him in that placement service. However, we cannot tell her what to do next because she is on retanier for my mom, not us. So she can advise but not act. I also called the lawyer appointed by the court for my nephew to tell her what is going on. However, I could only leave a message. We are still freaking out however, there is nothing else we can do tonight. I cannot even call my mom to tell her what is going on because she is over Newfoundland about now flying back from Spain.

    GRRRRRRRRRRR,,,,,,,why cannot they see that two weeks wasn't long enough to fix the sugar issue???

    Actually hubbie thinks the docs had this planned all along and never wanted him placed with us......so they are going forward with it now.
     
  15. wldywall

    wldywall Connoisseur

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    He has medicaid, however it is a plan that is not widely accepted in this county, and we are seeking to add him to our insurance which we cannot do because we have custody but not guardianship (but we can enroll him in school??? I dont get that one) We are at least going to switch it to straight medicaid that is more widely accepted here than the HMO one he is on now.
     
  16. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Sounds like you might need to bring in another lawyer.
     
  17. wldywall

    wldywall Connoisseur

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    Jan 24, 2007

    Geez, I hope not, not sure how to find someone.....My mom will be here in a few hours, she will know where to get another one.
     
  18. wldywall

    wldywall Connoisseur

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    Jan 26, 2007

    Nephew is home after the hosptial stay. I will fill in details after school.
     
  19. ABall

    ABall Fanatic

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    Jan 27, 2007

    I hope things get better for you. I can see you have your hands full. Don't forget to take time for your self.
     
  20. rlbbas123

    rlbbas123 Rookie

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    Feb 1, 2007

    As a parent of a newly diagnosed child with type 1 diabetes, the road is not always easy. I am learning something new everyday concerning the care of this disease. My heart goes out to you. First, it sounds like the mom did not do what she should have done in caring for his diabetes from the start. I would find out how involved she was in treating this, meaning: If she had layed a good foundation in his understanding of diabetes and what was expected of him as far as managing and controlling his blood sugar he would not have rebelled like this. Then, missing a year and a half of school?What was all of his A1c's since his first onset up until now. This should tell you how well his diabetes was managed up until now. If it was managed poorly, the doctor should have interviened before you got custody. It sounds like you are the only ONE thinking of his needs and they are being a bit hasty. Your right, you can't jump on the ban wagon for two weeks and turn things around imediately.This isn't an overnight quick fix. They should know that. Plus, he is emotional because of the type of home support before you gained custody.I think the boot camp is harsh. Get involved the american diabetes association. They are a great support. Thought about getting a new doctor.
    Anyway, we will say a prayer for you.
     
  21. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Feb 1, 2007

    Prayers for all of you & hope things with custody, diabetes & nephew will turn around...Sounds like a lot of tough loving is ahead for all of you!!! I hope "your" kids are doing ok!!!
     

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