Police- What have been your experiences in different areas?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Tired Teacher, Jun 16, 2020.

  1. Tired Teacher

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    I am curious living far removed from the protests I see on the news.
    After reading on the race post, I wonder what your experiences have been over the years in different places.
    Mine have been excellent in an Hispanic area, neutral and decent in a predominately white northern small town area.
    I had 1 horrible experience near ST. Louis and some very bad ones in another city.
    Care to share?
     
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  3. Ima Teacher

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    My only interactions with police have been few and positive. One of my former neighbors was a hot mess, and I talked to police multiple times about him over the years. He sold his house to a high level drug dealer, so police were around on occasion.

    Last year my mom had a guy calling her and coming by her house. He took her mail, tried to get into her house, etc. The officer who came to the house was super nice. He is originally from New York, and things are way different here in rural Kentucky. When he first came here, a lot of people didn’t like him. Complained about how he was too hard on people. In actuality, he was doing the job correctly. There was a lot of “good ol’ boy” stuff going on, and they were used to getting by with things. New sheriff. New city officer. Things changed.

    DSS lives in a city that has had a lot of protests. Breonna Taylor’s death was the central issue in their protests. I haven’t heard DSS say much about the police there otherwise.
     
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  4. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I’ve had few interactions with the police. They’ve generally been pleasant. A couple of times the officers were power-tripping, arrogant jerks who wanted to throw their weight around over a non-issue.

    I suspect that my answer would be different if I weren’t a white woman.
     
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  5. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    I grew up in a rural farm town. Police were the "good ol' boys" club and I learned from a young age not to trust them or seek them out. I had limited interactions, but they were not positive nor do I know anyone else who has anything good to say unless they are "police family." Of course those people are treated differently.

    I'm now in the city and it's of course bigger and more diverse. We have police at my school quite often with mixed experiences. I remember a few years ago every time we called they'd send like 8 officers when 1 or 2 would have been fine. I did appreciate that they always made an effort to smile and wave or even stop to talk with other kids they saw in the hallway so that kids wouldn't be scared. Now they've gone the opposite way- I'm not sure if it's new leadership or what. When my P would call they would basically laugh at the idea of police being needed at an elementary school and say it was our problem to deal with- even for example in a case where a child had run off campus and no one knew where he was. My P never wants to call them now, but when certain incidents happen the district leadership is quick to say, "Why didn't you call the police?"
     
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  6. Tired Teacher

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    The police where you live are doing the job I think they should do. Helping people, like your mom! I grew up in the time where they sang, " The policeman is your friend." I dealt with the police in Covington, KY too 1x and that officer was very helpful. You are very fortunate. I'd gotten lost while visiting, taken a bridge on accident, and ended up in the wrong state in the days before cell phones. He helped me get to where I needed to go! :)
     
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  7. Tired Teacher

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    I have dealt with these types too in 1 city. I think the same cops that do this to blacks, often do it to young women too.
    As I typed this out, I realized I probably have had more experience w/ the police than all teachers I know combined. lol There are lots of reasons. Some my fault ...I try not to now, but used to speed way too much. I always admitted to it when they pulled me over asap.
    Also, I have lived in a couple of really bad neighborhoods. (not my fault, really....just did not have much $ when I was young.)
    In the bad neighborhoods, I knew the gang members. It was kind of hard not to know them and it was in your best interest to be on friendly terms with them. When the cops saw you greet them, they assumed you were involved with them. I got hauled in several times when I was young and the cops would scream and threaten me trying to get me to tell something I knew nothing about. I learned the good cop/bad cop routine young. I learned young that they lied and just tossed out misinformation. They'd say they knew things about me that had no truth whatsoever.
    After moving out of that city, I moved to a place where the cops were awesome. They actually helped me and others. One night someone tried to break into my house. They almost had the doorknob unscrewed. They patrolled my house nightly after that. They even noticed my car door had been left open 1 night. They were very kind, helpful, respectful, and seemed like they truly cared and were there to protect. That is what police should be like.
    The other reason I had more dealings with police is that I drove very long distances every single year for many yrs of my life. I was just on the road more.
    When I moved out here, I was given a 357 and told don't wait for the police. There are not enough to get to you in time. The only dealings I have had with them were neutral for the most part. I got speeding tickets. ( My bad, I know.) 1x I did call them b/c someone across the lake was injured at night. I could hear them from my bedroom window being open. I called them 3x and they didn't come. I finally took the 357 and went out to find out what was wrong myself. I called them and told them what I was going to do and they told me to be careful. They have time to give out tickets, but no time to help someone injured.
     
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  8. Tired Teacher

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    Police family and friends- Courtesy Cards.... I was shocked to find out those existed. My son's gf yrs ago had 1 b/c her family was influential where they lived.
    It is probably a change in policy where the police won't help you anymore. They won't come to ours either unless someone threatened to kill people or a really serious assault took place.
    When I saw "good ol' boys club, I laughed b/c a picture popped into my head. I was cruising down a highway down south when the lights came flashing out of nowhere. My destination was about 12 hours away. The cop ( good ol' boy) was nice enough. He explained that I could pay my 50.00 speeding ticket directly to him or wait until Monday and go to court. I quickly decided 50 bucks was better than having to get a hotel and I had been speeding.
    He kindly warned me that officers were sitting on all of the hills ahead, so it would be smart to stay slowed down. He wasn't kidding either.
    When I got settled into the new destination, I had to switch car insurance. They asked about recent tickets. I told them I had just gotten 1 recently. They ran my background and asked where did you get the ticket b/c it was not showing up on my record. When I told them the place, they looked at each other, laughed and asked, " Did you pay cash?" I was young and naïve. I had. The ticket never showed up on my record. Probably 10 years later the area I had gotten the ticket in was spotlighted on a show like 20/20 or 60 minutes show. The good ol' boys got caught in a sting collecting cash.
     
  9. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    Seems police are like schools and teachers -- you never know what you are going to get and attitudes changes as populations changes. Behaviors change depending on how many people they are surrounded by are "yes" men and allow it to happen.

    Some fabulous, some terrible, some in-between.

    I don't think you can police an inner city with gang problems in the same manner as a suburban area where the majority of people do not believe in having guns.

    As for the police that "took cash". Protecting your own is rampant in all professions in certain areas. The blue wall, teachers not reporting when they see another teacher doing something that is harmful to students or to the system. "Snitches get stitches" exist in all walks of life and professions. It is all really the same, some of it just comes with less violence and harm that may not be as easily seen.
     
  10. TeacherNY

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    I have had limited interactions with police since I can pretty much keep myself out of trouble ;)
    My town police seem ok. One time my car broke down and a police officer stopped to help me call a tow truck. My neighbor locked her kid and keys in her car and we called and they came right away to help her get her car open. That's about all I've got.
     
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  11. TeacherNY

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    We had one of those. I live on a corner and there's a side street where some unsavory people live. Some of the woman's "visitors" would loiter right on the corner for hours. My husband called the cops a few times and the loitering eventually stopped. Now we have cameras all over our property so I think once people see the cameras they tend to find somewhere else to make trouble.
     
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  12. Tired Teacher

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    I have thought of the ways teachers and cops are alike so many times. There are so many similarities.
     
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  13. Tired Teacher

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    Dang! Sounds like you have great ones there!
    Oh, and laughing that you can keep yourself out of trouble. I try so hard, but I have a lead foot.
     
  14. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    I think part of this is because of strong unions. Why stand up against a bad co-worker when you know that firing them is near impossible. It will only bring you grief in the long run.
     
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  15. TeacherNY

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    I have only gotten 1 speeding ticket but I was pulled over a few times (but let go). My husband however is awaiting two traffic court dates!!
     
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  16. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    But when have you ever seen an entire school full of teachers quit in solidarity when one teacher was accused of murdering a student?

    When police officers lie, the stakes are so much higher. I think that there are some similarities between teachers and police, but I don’t think it’s fair or reasonable to suggest that they are two sides of the same coin or anything like that. I also think that police unions are very different from other unions.
     
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  17. bella84

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    This is very similar to what I was going to say in regards to my own experience.
     
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  18. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    My dad has a dark complexion and is sort of racially ambiguous. Many years ago when he was in the service and stationed in the South, he was dragged out of his car at a stoplight by a state trooper and beat up on the side of the road—for no reason. He was in his military uniform at the time. When he told me that story when I was a little kid and I asked him why he didn’t hit the trooper back and defend himself, he asked me how would it look to have a person in uniform punching a trooper on the side of the road?

    I have been thinking about that story a lot lately. My dad has experienced some things, in addition to this particular event, because those around him assume that he is a certain race or other. I highly doubt that I will ever have this type of interaction with the police under any circumstances, and certainly not for simply being in my car at a red light.
     
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  19. viola_x_wittrockiana

    viola_x_wittrockiana Comrade

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    My experiences run the gamut. I come from a police family on one side- generations of Chicago officers- so I know more about what goes on internally than the average citizen. I'm not afraid of cops, but I've also been trained in exactly how to handle one who's trying to pull something shady. I'm well aware that if something happened to me, I'm in the best position one could be in to be believed. I've had the benefit of insider knowledge. I can list a dozen ways someone can steal your purse, how to modify your home for best safety against break-ins, when exactly self-defense applies and how much force you're allowed to not end up in court, and how to be an ideal witness. The force in the extremely sketchy city where I went to college was great. Those poor people had a lot to deal with and handled most things pretty well.
    On the other hand, I've twice been put in danger because of pathetic police response time. Only once can I say that the police union did right in supporting an officer. I know firsthand how frequently of they're domestic abusers and have substance abuse problems. Many forces are loathe to investigate anything and will take the word of an officer they don't know over using good sense. At least two suspicious deaths in my family weren't investigated because family on the force were involved. One relative had his life ruined by being framed for a crime. Two of the cops in my hometown turned out to be rapists. The blue brotherhood is so strong because you have to be able to trust your squad with your life. Anything that makes waves disrupts that trust, so they keep quiet about what they know.


    What upsets me the most right now is how the wrong things have/haven't changed with time. My grandfather spent a 30-year career in a major city and only shot someone twice. Both times were deliberately non-lethal shots and proper escalation. It seems now that they're being trained to use too much force too soon. At the same time, the tactic they're using against the protesters now in many places is the same tactic they used in the '60s during the race riots. "Smack some heads together so they'll go home and tell their friends what happened." That kind of fear-based policing wasn't appropriate then, and it certainly isn't now.
     
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  20. Tired Teacher

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    This hit me close to home hard b/c, I like cops I guess, was raised and conditioned so strongly to not tell on coworkers. I believed it was important to constantly look at myself to see how I could improve w/out critiquing others.
    I feel the need to talk directly to the person if it is serious, help if I can, or shut up. I know our opinions differ here greatly.
    If I think about it much longer, it will bug me, it already has....lol b/c I AM like a "bad cop" who usually ignores bad behavior from a coworker. I have thought about this exact same things before. I'll admit, I maybe very wrong in the way I have gone about things. I couldn't even reply after 1st reading this w/out rethinking my beliefs.
    Once teachers get to our school, they usually know what they are doing, have proven themselves, or do at least a decent job. We do have 1 teacher though who is psycho crazy at times ( mean...). She screams , or just blows up, at people.
    She started taking meds that help her. I just tell myself, "Whoops! She forgot her meds today!"
    I saw her do it to a kid really bad 1x...it was over the edge. I was able to distract her, get the kid away, but unable to confront her. I really did not want her screaming at me in front of all of the kids. Fortunately, I have a friend who saw the same thing a different time and we came up w/ a plan of how to deal with her when she does it. It works too. ( Not really our job, but we get the kid away from her.) Our P was not much help. When it has happened, it was always in 1 of 3 places where we heard it.
    Parents and other teachers have complained for years. The admin flat out told a coworker that it takes 2 years to get all of the paperwork needed done to fire her. Even then, there are no guarantees.
    The main P is terrified of her b/c she is known for filing grievances, bad mouthing people from school in the community, and she drinks at a local watering hole already telling lies to community members about the school.
    He doesn't say this, but he has maybe 4 yrs to retirement and it is pretty evident, he wants to get there as quickly and easily as possible.
    The only way I can rationalize ( I know, not good) the way I do it now is to say: I would not stick up for her if she was fired, but the union would.
    The union has been very helpful though for people who were targeted wrongly by an unskilled, vindictive P at 1x. He had a "hit list" when he 1st came. He fired the 1st w/ major backlash b/c he just did not like them. They ended up reinstated at other schools b/c he made errors in the process. They told the truth when he asked for opinions.
    He made a few others lives miserable for a time for speaking up. With years of experience and excellent evaluations for many yrs, I am pretty sure I was on his list of people to get rid of eventually too. He did not like anyone who questioned or had opinions. He liked young, blond, blue eyed, young teachers who would agree w/ him and admire at all times. :( If he could have gotten rid of most of us, he'd have had a whole new set of problems.
    It is true, though that cops kill people. Teachers ( like the psycho 1 we have) wouldn't kill anyone, but she could do some major damage on minds when she goes off. You are right though about the union would fight for her.
     
  21. Tired Teacher

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    Very true that teachers have not murdered students to the best of my knowledge. I don't know a teacher who would condone that either. It is also true that solidarity usually does not exist even if a teacher is wrongly fired. Teachers are often afraid of sticking up for what is right.
    I understand b/c there were times in my life, I could not afford to not have a job or get blackballed from the system. There were times I kept quiet when I shouldn't have.
    Admin is given too much power in some schools. If they blackball you here, you pretty much have to be able and willing to move far out of the area and go somewhere that really needs teachers. That takes $ and if you are a single parent, you put your kids in a bad place.
    I know very little about police unions, so I can't compare them. I do see some major similarities in cops and teachers here though. A lot of secrets are kept due to fear of reprisals. It is hard to speak up when you know you are going to get slammed from the higher ups for giving opinions or ways to better situations.
    During some of my roughest years, I'd tell myself that police are going to have to deal w/ the crazy once a kid got bigger and I knew their job would be even harder than mine. A huge part of it started when parents stopped believing in consequences for bad behavior for "their kid." The school districts have made it so that kids pretty much run the asylums now. Now if a kid kicks a teacher, the teacher is asked, " What do you think you could do better to make sure he doesn't want to do that to you again?" Then the kid is absolved of wrong doing, escalates, and gets bigger. After last year, I am done.
     
  22. Tired Teacher

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    I am so sorry your dad had that experience. I know things are worse with the cops if you look like you are a different nationality, race, or live in a poor neighborhood. I hope for your sake that you are right and never have a problem like that w/ the police.
    From my experience, you are not immune to really horrible treatment from cops even if you are blond and blue eyed young woman stopped at a red light doing nothing wrong. I was thinking a lot of these major abuses of powers happened in big cities, just from my own experience, but then I read the post from Waterfall who lives in a rural community.
     
  23. Tired Teacher

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    Please share some of these tips. How do you handle the shady or perverted ones? Phones have now added a whole new safety to people that didn't exist when I needed them. How can you put yourself in the best position to believed?
    I actually watched you tube videos when they 1st came out on how to act when the police pulled you over b/c I still have a healthy fear of them. I often spent summers driving all over the US visiting family and friends in the summers, but after my close to ST. Louis experience, I was so shook up that I started flying more and dreaded driving w/out a man with me.
     
  24. Tired Teacher

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    Wow! I lived in Humboldt Park for maybe 6 months in the mid 70's. It wasn't much of a life b/c I was not allowed outside w/out a bad a$$ connected male relative escorting me. They were usually busy, so I spent most of my time locked inside an apt. We had so many locks on the door that it was unreal along w/ a board supported by 2 metal beams. I remember my 1st night there, a building across the street was on fire. One of my relatives told me not to worry, the gangs did that often on Friday nights.
    I heard that the police there would pick up gang members or people who they thought knew something. If they didn't tell, they'd drop them off in a rival gangs neighborhood. ( Where they'd get beat up bad or even killed.) I believe the ones I heard it from too. Chicago is known to be such a corrupt city ever since I can remember.
    I heard Humboldt Park is a nice area now. I have been back to Chicago since then, but not to Humboldt Park. I doubt it could be much worse than what I remember of it. Car alarms had just become a thing and they'd go off all night sometimes. I am so thankful not to have gotten stuck living in a place like that for life.
    One of my strongest memories of Chicago was a guy took me to Cabrini Green and told me to remember it b/c it would be a part of history. At that time, I think he said it was a "no go zone" for police even. It made a huge impact on me when I heard the horrible things that went on there. (Affordable housing that had gone horribly wrong.)
     
  25. Tired Teacher

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    I have a theory on warnings to slow down. I used to get them often. ( I got 1 speeding ticket- where I pd the 50 bucks ( scam) when I was younger. I went probably 20 yrs w/out another ticket.
    Once I moved here, I got 2 warnings. Then blasted with tickets until I finally started to be really, really careful. Now everything is computerized. They weren't in the old days. They can see if you have had your 2 warnings or previous tickets. If you have here, you are getting a ticket.
    I did not realize how much info the cops have available to them the minute they pull you over until about 6 years ago. They don't need to see your license and registration even. They just ask for it probably b/c it gives them time to check you out.
     
  26. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I guess I've been lucky. My experience with police has been limited, but positive. Never been pulled over, so I don't have that experience. I have had associations with school patrol officers and personal friends who were officers. I guess that makes me pretty naive with regards to the police.
     
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  27. geoteacher

    geoteacher Devotee

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    My experiences have been limited, but I will say that the police were there when I needed them. I was home during the day when someone tried breaking into my house. He had already broken in once before while we were gone - I noticed because my indoor cat was walking around in the back yard. Anyway, I heard a noise at the bedroom window and saw the top of his head and hands trying to get in. My cats were watching him. I grabbed a phone and dialed 911. While I was on the phone with the dispatcher, they called for everyone in the area. A friend was driving down the highway by my house, and she said that squad car after squad car came racing down the road. Within about 5 minutes there were at least four squads at my house. Within a half hour, thanks to one of my neighbors, they had apprehended the culprit. I was very grateful for the police on that day!

    That being said, I worry that the experiences of others are very different.
     
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  28. TeacherNY

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    They still need to see your license and registration because they need to know if you're driving YOUR car. Just going by the license plate won't do any good for them if you stole the car LOL The last time I got pulled over I don't think it was a warning situation because one of my lights was out and I was just told to get it fixed and then get it checked by any officer within 48 hours.
     
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  29. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

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    Mostly not bad. Tickets that have largely been my fault. A couple more possible tickets (one that would have been pretty serious) that I got out of. One officer who was ridiculously suspicious of me as a college student because I was taking a walk at night, but in the end there wasn't anything he could actually do because there wasn't anything illegal I'd done. So he just gave me a ride back to the college (which I was happy about).

    I suspect a couple of my interactions could have gone worse if I were a minority.
     
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  30. viola_x_wittrockiana

    viola_x_wittrockiana Comrade

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    Tech-wise, there are now phone apps that are designed for these circumstances, but also dashcams are quite useful. With a dashcam, you don't have to turn it on or have your phone out, visibly recording. (also, very useful for determining liability/culpability in accidents; your insurance company will love it) To go along with that, if you're recording audio, or you're not in-frame, narrate what you're doing.

    Learn the laws regarding stops and searches, and be able to quote them on demand. Being able to make them think you might be a lawyer or connected to one will make them think twice about trying to pull something. Being able to speak legalese is great protection- I got my landlord to replace molded carpeting after a flood that way. Make note of any witnesses and try to get their contact info.

    Always try to get as many details about why you were stopped, but approach it in an oblique way. If you were pulled over for "speeding" and you're fairly sure you weren't, ask at what speed you were registering because you're "concerned" about the accuracy of your speedometer. It's always safer to try to fight a ticket later than go against the officer.

    Try to get a badge number straight off- but again, frame it in a non-confrontational way. "You know, you hear all these stories on the news about people pretending to be police and attacking women. . ." Only ask if you can't see/read it. (Asking for a badge number is a bit like having a parent call the principal- it just puts you in a bad mood even if you've done nothing wrong) If they refuse, that's a red flag. Look for the squad number on the car if you can't get the badge number, or grab a pic of the license plate as they leave.

    Unfortunately, if one is out to physically harm you, there's not much you can do to keep it from happening, but you can make sure you have the best evidence you can get. Store the phrase, "I was in fear for my life," and be ready to support why if you need to physically fight back. Get physical evidence- rip hair, scratch at exposed skin- same as you should any other attacker. Worst case, if you think you're going to be shot/beaten, assume a defensive position to protect your head/organs. Make that cop try to justify shooting someone who was clearly neither threatening nor running.

    When you make a complaint/report- do it promptly, but make sure you've gathered your thoughts/evidence. Be as detailed as you can be: know the time and location, have a physical description of the officer ready, but don't include anything you're not absolutely sure of. Ask about the process- what's the timeline? Will I be contacted for further information or is my statement now enough? Who's the point person I can contact for information regarding my complaint? Then find out who the oversight for the agency is if you suspect you've been brushed off.

    I hope that helps.
     
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  31. Tired Teacher

    Tired Teacher Groupie

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    Wow! That is pretty amazing that you made it through to retirement w/out ever getting pulled over even. YAY!!!!! One of my kids is good friends with the police around here too. They aren't bad here. They are just stretched too thin to help most people.
    PS You are probably the only person I know who hasn't ever been pulled over.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2020
  32. Tired Teacher

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    Double wow!! That would never happen where I live due to distances and lack of police. When I lived down south though, you could depend on the police to get there and protect community members. They even followed up w/ me by patrolling my house for a very long time after a break in attempt. If they start rethinking the jobs of police, I hope they will be more to protect.
     
  33. Tired Teacher

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    Up here, all of that is computerized. They can have your picture by pushing a button or something quickly.
    I know b/c 1x a few yrs ago, I got pulled over for driving w/ my brights on in an area where there were 0 visible cars. I am so careful to turn them off if I see a car a mile away. The trooper was parked in a state park. ( Middle of nowhere...)
    I had the flu and had thrown up all over before I could open the door. I was so afraid he'd think I had been drinking.
    He asked for my license and registration. The scene was disgusting and I asked him if he really wanted me to put my hands in my purse to get stuff out to hand it to him. He did not think long and said , "Never mind, I can get it on my computer." He came back w/ a print out w/ all of my info and let me go.
     
  34. Tired Teacher

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    Yeah, I earned my tickets too. I never argue them and even admit to them when they asked , "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Even though I know they want you to admit it on their tape. I am not going to lie about it.
    I understand dealing w/ the ridiculously suspicious type too. I had 1 who believed I was some huge drug runner b/c of the state I came from (plates) and where I was going. My car was pretty nice too. I was not dressed in teacher garb either.
    It is one of only 2 x in my life when I got pulled over w/out probable cause. The other time was funny. It was back when or where probable cause was really needed.
    A cop pulled me over on NY Eve. When he asked, " Do you know why I pulled you over, I asked in an innocent and questioning voice, " It's N Y Eve and you are looking for drunk drivers?" The guy had a sense of humor, cracked a smile, and told me I could go. I hadn't been drinking. I can't even imagine what some minorities face who have to live in certain places.
     
  35. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    I’ve had zero issues with the police. I’m a gay Latino.

    I keep my nose clean and mind my own business.
     
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  36. Tired Teacher

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    I think it depends a lot on where you live. I know a lot of people here who have been law abiding citizens all of their lives, but have had to be really careful about going the exact speed posted in areas around here. I had zero issues for many years of my life in a different area. The cops there were just so down to earth and human. Plus, they didn't have computerized systems yet.....lol
     
  37. Tired Teacher

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    I wish I'd have known this years ago, the tech had been developed, and used by me. I was so shook up after a really scary experience w/ cops outside of St. Louis. At that time it would have been seen as sexual harassment, but in these days it would be labeled as sexual assault. Yeah, I needed to have calmed down and focused quicker on filing a complaint. I was younger, horrified, and I tried to hire 2 lawyers even who told me that I had gotten lucky to have gotten away as "unscathed as I did."
    I don't think the police around here would do anything like that, but having a webcam is a good idea. I only know the old legal speak of: "Am I being detained?" "Am I free to go?"( Honestly, I always figured going that route would PO them and cause worse problems. The cops even told me I was being detained- and kept me for hours.
    I am guessing you are talking about another legal speak because laws and our rights have changed so much over the years. I don't regret a lot in life, but I do regret having let those dirt bags get away w/ it. I should breathe in and let it go......lol :) the worst one is probably dead by now anyways. I think I have watched the news too much lately. I am usually good about keeping it to a minimum.
     
  38. ecteach

    ecteach Devotee

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    My best friend and brother, who both happen to be white, have both claimed to be treated very poorly by police. Both are upstanding citizens who have never been in real trouble before.

    My brother's incident occurred in a bar. A bar fight started and they blamed my brother who claims he had nothing to do with it. He was about 19 at the time. The police roughed him up pretty bad. It was the day before Christmas Eve. I'll never forget how my mom cried when she saw him. To this day, many years later, he swears he had nothing to do with any of it, and says he should have sued the city.

    My best friend once got very confused at night during a traffic detour. She claims the police officer called the "the R word" and was very rude and belligerent with her. He gave her a ticket for disobeying a police officer, which was overturned by the judge. She was coming home from work late at night. She said that's the most scared she's ever been in her life.

    The only real incident I have had with the police is when someone tried to kick our garden doors in while we were at work (pre pit-bull) and the police officer who came was very weird about the whole thing and said, "Well, it's not a big deal because they didn't get in." OKAY!!!!??? The whole door was shattered, and you could see the boot prints on the door. I have no idea why they didn't finish the job, but was glad they didn't. But, the officer's lack of concern or compassion was alarming to me. I remember thinking, THIS IS LITERALLY YOUR JOB!

    My husband, who is black, actually caught two pretty big breaks from police (as a late teen). Nothing major, but both were definitely things that could have landed him a small "record." He is in law enforcement himself, but not as a city police officer. That being said, he has been pulled over many times, without a reason, as an adult. When he shows his Federal badge, they always let him go with no further questions. One actually said, "Oh, you're one of the good ones" one time. Sad, but totally true.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2020
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  39. Tired Teacher

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    Yeah, I'd believe them both from my experiences. 1 city I lived in years ago, the cops were Teamsters. ( Back in the Jimmy Hoffa days). I know guys who got the crap beat out of them too by the police there. ( Usually, they were in bars too. A couple were roadside.)
    I bet your mom was heart broken as well as many mothers have been throughout this land. The lawyers who told me I was lucky it wasn't worse, did not help me feel any better, but I know they were right now. 1 was a good friend's dad. He was black and had grown up and heard//experienced a lot worse than what I had told him.
    I am not sure what the "R" word even is...., but there are certain men, like the ones your friend and I I encountered in ST Louis who instill great fear in women. I think it is a power trip and maybe a hatred towards women. IDK
    I agree that the #1 job of the police is to protect. 1st life. Then property. The lack of concern would bother me too. I was very blessed by the police I knew who patrolled my place nightly for a long time after a near break in at night. They were really good, caring cops. They were truly concerned and showed it with their actions.
    Wow! To the cop who said, " You are one of the good ones." It is too bad your husband wasn't recording and asked, " What do you mean by that?"
    I am wondering whatever happened to probable cause being real? I remember a time when it was, but bad cops could easily make something up/lie. If they are pulling over your husband w/out any, I think when they ask, " Do you know why I am pulling you over, he should respond innocently and calmly w/ a questioning voice, " You are looking for someone black?" Then of course show his ID real darn quick.
     
  40. Guitart

    Guitart Companion

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    A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, and before I was a teacher..

    I was sent home TWICE by cops for DUI. Yes, I was drunk. Yes, I was guilty. And yes, I was let go. No ticket. No jail. No towing. No record of it.
    First off, this was way back before body/dash cams. Now it is probably more difficult to get lucky on a DUI caught on camera. Secondly, I was always RESPECTFUL and HONEST to police. That is the way I was raised. Obviously, I have made some dumb choices in life, but when I'm busted, I have been taught to start damage control.

    During one of these DUI stops, the cops had every reason to be on edge:
    It was 3am.
    I went 90 mph through a small, rural town, blasting music, windows down.
    I am brown skinned, long hair, and had the stereo-typical rock star, pot smoker look.

    When the lights flashed behind me, I pulled over immediately and politely prepared to go to jail by:
    Following all directions
    Handing the officer everything he asked for
    Not playing dumb and asking, "What is this all about?" "I'm sorry was I speeding?"
    Not fussing with a phone, a lighter, a cig, or NOTHING.

    I told the cop the truth - that I was in a rock band, just came from playing a neighboring town, I intentionally blasted through that small town, and I had been drinking. Our roadie was with me too and he was questioned separately by the other cop. Our stories matched. Our breathalyzer scores probably matched too! We were actually told that due to our behavior they would allow us to call for a ride. They added that if we had lied, argued, or made their job harder, we would have gone to jail.
     
  41. Tired Teacher

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