Please keep my family in your thoughts

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by mmswm, Feb 25, 2012.

  1. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    My mother is faced with the decision that nobody in the world should have to face. Her brother is on life support again with another brain injury. He doesn't have any sort of living will or advance directive. He's currently on a respirator, and has very little activity on the right side of his brain, though there is some activity on the left side. He's got an infection in his brain in addition to the damage sustained when he fell. He's had other brain injuries: a motorcycle accident when he was younger, and he was attacked with a baseball bat 2.5 years ago. My mother has authorized a DNR should he need anything other than a breathing tube. They're doing more tests, but the doctors have prepped her for the reality that he'll never come out of the coma. She has to decide if she wants to keep the breathing tube in. She's waiting on the results of the additional tests before she decides.

    On top of all this, my mother comes from a family with a lot of baggage. Any decision she makes will be picked apart and blame will be found. She's stressed out and conflicted, knowing half of her family will be angry regardless of what choice she makes.

    Please keep her, and the rest of my family in your thoughts and prayers as she's faced with this horrible choice.
     
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  3. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Wow. So sorry. :(
     
  4. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine the stress and heartache you and your mother are feeling right now. :hugs:
     
  5. tracykaliski

    tracykaliski Connoisseur

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    Here's hoping she can get the strength to do what's right and not have to deal with the others.
     
  6. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I'm so sorry & I hope your mom will mk the right decision.
     
  7. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I'm so sorry, mm. This is a difficult enough time without having to worry about how others will react. I'll keep you, your mom and your uncle in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  8. Speechy

    Speechy Comrade

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    That's a decision no person should have to make. My thoughts are with your family <3
     
  9. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    :hugs: and prayers for your mom and the decision.
     
  10. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    I am so sorry. Thinking of all of you
     
  11. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Feb 26, 2012

    Thanks everybody for your thoughts and prayers.
     
  12. bison

    bison Habitué

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    I'm sorry for your family and especially mother. I can't imagine how hard it must be. Whatever choice she makes, I'm sure it will be the right one for your family. I hope the rest of them are able to come around and support one another in this difficult time. You will be in my thoughts.
     
  13. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Oh, mm, I'm so very sorry.
     
  14. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    So very sorry to hear this, what a tough situation to be in. Hugs.
     
  15. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    I'm so sorry.
     
  16. teacher333

    teacher333 Devotee

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    In my thoughts and prayers, always a tough decision to make.
     
  17. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    What a difficult situation. Thinking of all of you.
     
  18. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    I'm sorry such a hard decision has to be made. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
     
  19. Blue

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    I am so sorry to hear this. I am sending you and your mom good thoughts. I hope she can find some support in her decision. Since she is the decision maker, whatever decision she makes will be the right one.
     
  20. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Thanks for all the prayers and good thoughts. My uncle hasn't gotten any better, but he hasn't gotten any worse either. They're going to do another series of tests tomorrow or Tuesday to determine what kind of brain function he has and try to determine what his prognosis might be. My mother will make the decision then.
     
  21. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I wanted to update this. My uncle is deteriorating rapidly. My mother is currently flying out to the hospital where my uncle is in order to be with him during what everybody thinks is his last day or two. While this is a very sad time, I am very appreciative that she is not going to have to decide to disconnect the respirator. I hope that these next few days are as free from drama as possible for her.
     
  22. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Oh, mm.
    Stay strong.
     
  23. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    :hugs: to you and your mom mm. Many prayers.
     
  24. TennisPlayer

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    That is very hard. Miracles do happen. I pray the doctors can help her understand what to do. Did they say he won't come out of this coma or it's unlikely? Can you go visit your mom or are you far away?
     
  25. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    So sorry to hear. At least he can hopefully pass without any drama to follow...Your family definitely doesn't need that at this time.
     
  26. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    My uncle has lived a very hard life. I don't want to go into the details, but the home in which my mother and her siblings was raised was horrific. Each of the children grew up and handled the horrors differently; some better than others. At least now, he will be in a better place and not in so much pain. I am more relieved for my mother, that she does not have to make the choice to "pull the plug", and that he will go naturally.
     
  27. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Prayers for your uncle, your mom and you, mm.
     
  28. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    Many hugs and prayers. I hope you can find a flight...
     
  29. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

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    Hugs to you and your family mm.:hugs:
     
  30. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    As horrible as the situation is, I'm glad your mom doesn't have to make the choice. Even if she knew what she chose was right, she could have regrets later. Life is hard enough without regrets.
     
  31. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Hugs and blessings, mm.
     
  32. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Thanks everybody. I'm leaving a couple hours to go to Minneapolis to fly to Austin. I found a good fare. I just feel like I have to be with my mother right now.
     
  33. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Thinking of you... :(
     
  34. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Of course you do. Keep us posted, please.
     
  35. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I plan on leaving here around midnight. My flight out is at 9am, but it's supposed to start snowing again, so I would rather sleep in the airport than miss the flight.
     
  36. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Of course. Drive safely.
     
  37. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Hugs, mm.
     
  38. TennisPlayer

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    "Journey's blessings " as my grandma would tell me.
    We are all thinking of you and I know it is going to mean so much to have you there. ...May you feel God's love and peace.
     
  39. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Thinking of you, mm. So glad that you are able to get to be with your mom.
     
  40. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    Hope all is well this morning, mm. :hugs:
     
  41. Missy

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    So glad you are able to go; drive safely.
     

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