Please help me with my cover letter

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by 1stYearTeacher, May 23, 2007.

  1. 1stYearTeacher

    1stYearTeacher Companion

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    May 23, 2007

    Everyone here has been such a great help with revising my cover letter. It's been about a week since I posted before but I have revised my cover letter yet again and was hoping I could get some input before I send out application packets (where I live most of the jobs have just been posted this past week). I have attempted to make my cover letter more about ME and am still not sure if I am nailing that or not.

    I really appreciate everyones advice. Don't worry about sounding to harsh because any advice I receive can potentially help me land a job.

    Thank You!

    I am interested in joining XYZ Public Schools as an Elementary Teacher. As a former student of XYZ, and a resident of XYZ I am thrilled to have recently learned, through the Education Department at XYZ College as a result of the XYZ meeting about the available third and fourth grade elementary teacher positions. I would like to be considered for these positions and any other Elementary Teacher (Grades 1-4) that may become available.

    I am a candidate for initial licensure at the elementary school level and have just received my bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education and Psychology from XYZ College, where I graduated summa cum laude. This fall I completed a challenging, yet rewarding student teaching experience at XYZ Academy in XYZ. I also completed part of my pre-practicum requirements at YOUR SCHOOL in Ms. K's classroom where I learned valuable teaching skills as well as developed the ability to conduct student assessments using such tools as DRA and writing rubrics.

    Through the combination of my personal experiences and education, I can provide the students in your school system an opportunity to succeed through diverse, individualized, learning opportunities. My experience student teaching at XYZ Academy in a second grade classroom of English as a Second Language Learners, has greatly prepared me to meet the needs of diverse learners within my classroom, an ability that I am very confident in. I also developed a strong ability to effectively plan for and utilize differentiated instruction within the classroom for learners far below grade level and others above grade level (as determined by MAP and DRA scores). During my student teaching I watched all of the students significantly grow as learners and was extremely proud of a group of four students who at first had only the most emergent literacy skills bloom into readers. My ability to nurture students learning, connect with them through their interests and modify lessons appropriately to meet student’s abilities was defiantly a catalyst for their success.

    I greatly appreciate your consideration of my formal request for employment and welcome the opportunity to meet with you for an interview in the near future. Please feel free to contact me at (888) 888-8888
     
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  3. 1stYearTeacher

    1stYearTeacher Companion

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    May 23, 2007

    Also, I would really appreciate any suggestions for helping me to shorten the third paragraph. I realize this paragraph makes my cover letter a bit long but am having trouble shortening it while still keeping the meaning.
     
  4. Research_Parent

    Research_Parent Cohort

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    May 23, 2007

    Here's my stab at re-working your cover letter. The posted cover letter looks good too. I've attempted to shorten as needed, but I'm sure others will have opinions as well.

    I am interested in joining XYZ Public Schools as an Elementary Teacher. As a former student and resident of XYZ I am thrilled to have recently heard about openings for third and fourth grade teaching positions from the Education Department at XYZ College. I would like to be one of your new Elementary Teachers, whether its 3rd or 4th, or another position (Grades 1-4) that may be available.

    I have just received my bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education and Psychology from XYZ College, where I graduated summa cum laude. Currently, I am a candidate for initial elementary school level licensure.`I have student teaching experience at XYZ Academy in XYZ and completed part of my pre-practicum requirements at YOUR SCHOOL in Ms. K's classroom. Thanks to Ms. K and YOUR SCHOOL, I learned valuable teaching skills, including assessing students using DRA and writing rubrics.

    Through my personal experiences and education, I can provide your students diverse, individualized, learning opportunities. My experience student teaching at XYZ Academy in a second grade classroom of ESL learners, has prepared me to assist the needs of diverse learners within my classroom. I also developed a strong ability to effectively plan and utilize differentiated instruction, assisting learners far below grade level, at grade level, and above grade level (as determined by MAP and DRA scores). During my student teaching, I watched students grow as learners and blossom into readers from basic literacy skills. My ability to nurture students' learning, connect with them, and modify lessons to meet student’s abilities served as a catalyst for their success.

    I greatly appreciate your consideration for employment and welcome the opportunity to meet with you for an interview in the near future. Please feel free to contact me at (888) 888-8888
     
  5. 1stYearTeacher

    1stYearTeacher Companion

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    May 24, 2007

    Your suggestions are very helpful, especially suggestions for the third paragraph. I do like the part where you suggested adding Ms. K and YOUR school to the second paragraph, I think that will stand out to them.

    Thank You!
     

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