Please help me survive this year...

Discussion in 'General Education Archives' started by Andrea L, Aug 30, 2005.

  1. Andrea L

    Andrea L Habitué

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    Aug 30, 2005

    This is my third year teaching at my school and I've had wonderful experiences there. I love the people I work with and loved the grade level that I taught. This year I voluntarily switched to third grade within my building. Two of my staff members left with only one staying (one spot was consumed) and they hired one teacher. My problem is with the new teacher. I already have a lot on my plate with switching grade levels and am under a lot of stress. This new teacher is extremely negative and is making it harder. Since our meetings have begun yesterday, she has had nothing but negative things to say about everything. She makes rude comments and refuses to do certain activities because "she has been teaching for nine years" or because "it is stupid". Today I lost it and had to leave the meeting and had a breakdown. I don't want to let her get to me, but it is extremely hard. In talking with several other teachers, they too have noticed how negative she is. My other third grade team member and I are having a difficult time with this and don't know what to do. I briefly mentioned it to my principal today to put a "bug" in her ear, but didn't pursue it with her. What do I do in order to survive this year? I teach right next door from her and have to sit next to her at staff meetings...so I can't really get away. Do I confront her (I hate confrontation), talk to my principal, ignore her, or what? Have you ever had this kind of experience and what did you do? Thanks in advance. It's been a hard and emotional day for me and I need help getting through this. :(
     
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  3. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Yes...tell her that you need to talk to her...and tell her kindly that you are under alot of stress and need to be around positive people and situations. Ask her to help you by being uplifting and encouraging...then give her time to show improvement. If that doesn't work ...if she remains negative, then you have no choice but to go to the boss. Take care...believe me , I have been there...and this type of person will destroy you so do something about it now.
     
  4. teacherbell

    teacherbell Cohort

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    Aug 30, 2005

    Andrea L,

    I am so sorry your year is starting out this way. I am a new teacher, this is my first year so I'm not sure if I can offer a lot of advice based on experience. However, I want to help you if I can. Do you think this teacher is acting this way to kind of show off? Like she is so experienced and she knows what she is doing. Do you think she is truly a negative person or just scared in a new sittuation and it is coming across as being negative? I know that in other working situations when I have had to work with a negative person I usually avoid that person. They usually end up burning their own bridges so I haven't had to say anything to anyone. Stick with your other team member as much as you can. I hope that things get better. Vent here as much as you need to. Good luck!! :)
     
  5. jcg

    jcg Cohort

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    Aug 30, 2005

    It sounds like she is insecure. Kill negativity with kindness is my motto.
     
  6. pfnw

    pfnw Rookie

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    Aug 30, 2005

    Wow, Andrea.

    Since this is the first week with her, I'd just ignore most of her comments. I would just focus on the things you need to do to make your first day/ week run smoothly. You simply don;t have time for negativity right now.

    If you have to, keep your door shut. Don't sit by her in meetings and keep your chin up.

    jcg has great advice. Just kill her with kindness and be professional when you have to deal with her.
     
  7. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    I am a straight foreward person...right to the point....but I can appreciate all of your advice about how to handle this person. I think maybe you should remain positive around her and avoid her as much as possible. Don't let her spoil you love of teaching or your day...rise above her.
     
  8. Andrea L

    Andrea L Habitué

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    Thank you for your kind words. I don't like to approach people, however, if killing her with kindness, ignoring her, and shutting my door doesn't work, I will have to go talk to her. We'll see what happens. Tomorrow is our state of the union address (superintendents welcome) and we'll see how it goes.
     
  9. TeachNYC1979

    TeachNYC1979 Rookie

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    Negative people are awful! A teacher's job is hard enough without having to deal with someone who acts more immaturely than the children. Sometimes counteracting with a positive to her negative comments can let her know that you don't share her views. Or even a simple, "I think I speak for a lot of my co-workers when I say we love our school. We love our students and we enjoy each other. We also support each other. I'm sorry you don't find it the same way. Hopefully one day, you will, but you need to give it a shot. We work very hard here and the negativity just brings people down..."

    Worse comes to worse, give it a few weeks, and then speak to your principal. If you come across in a happy and positive manner to him/her, I'm sure they will view your concerns only as helpful! Good luck!
     
  10. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Aug 31, 2005

    I think it is better to confront her - you can do it briefly without a scene. Just tell her that you prefer not to bring yourself down with negativity and you hope she will respect that by not sharing that kind of communication with you. Then drop it. If she starts complaining or being negative in the future, just walk away.
     
  11. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    That's how I handle things......very upfront and immediatly if not sooner! I have been known to follow people down the stairs and stop them to state what is on my mind and tell them how it made me feel. Lately, I have had a bit of trouble with it and I am feeling miserable by not nipping it in the bud. Take care of it NOW...as I stated in my first post. I became a bit wishy washy when I read others posts telling you to avoid her and things like that. NO that is not the answer. Go to her tomorrow or even tonight on the phone...just get it over with and then forget about it.
     
  12. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Aug 31, 2005

    I had a similar problem several years ago. I was the new teacher & my teaching partner had a negative attitude. She was great with the kids, but had a lot on her plate at home and never went the extra mile. I dealt with it by working with her when I needed to, but distancing myself when I knew she was having a difficult day. I usually knew by her attitude in the mornings. I try & stick with the positive people. I don't need the negatives to bring me down!!
     
  13. Andrea L

    Andrea L Habitué

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    I wanted to tell you about my day today. We went to the Superintendents address, but I didn't sit with her. In fact, I don't even know if she was there because I never saw her (it's kinda hard with 2000 people). I sat with my team members from fourth grade and really enjoyed myself. When I got back to school, we sat at the table, but I didn't really say much unless it was something that she might need to know. Other than that, I was pretty cold. Then, this afternoon at our meeting, she couldn't say anything becuae she didn't have any experience in what we were talking about. So needless to say, this is the best day I've had all week! I hope for another good one tomorrow!
     

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