Please help critique my resume!

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by funkspencer, Jul 16, 2012.

  1. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    I am working on teaching in Florida and this is my first resume! Obviously wanting to teach math.
    PS: I thought I could upload a PDF but I cant, so don't judge my format, just content please!

    Applicant Name
    12345 XXXXXXX St.
    Tampa, Florida, 33604
    123-999-1234
    emailhere@email.com

    PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
    GUARDIAN PROTECTION SERVICES TAMPA, FLORIDA
    Security Sales and Consulting June 2011 – Present

    EDUCATION
    FLORIDA STATE UNIVERSITY TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA
    Bachelors of Arts in Economics with Minors in Mathematics and Statistics, May 2012
    H.B. PLANT HIGH SCHOOL TAMPA, FLORIDA

    ADDITIONAL SKILLS
    SAS statistical programming
    Skilled in Microsoft Office Applications (Word, Excel, PowerPoint)
    Basic Web Page Building

    CREDENTIALS AND LICENSES
    Mathematics 6-12 Subject Area Passed on 7/12/12
    General Knowledge Exam Passed on 7/18/12

    CAREER OBJECTIVE
    To utilize my education in Economics, Statistics and Mathematics to provide a useful, interesting and applicable knowledge of mathematics to young people. My college education consisted of an Economics Degree where I focused very heavily on Mathematics and Statistics. Through this, I believe I will be able to provide insight, not only into how to solve problems using mathematics, but also how mathematics applies to real life and not just the abstract world young people usually associate with specialized mathematical subjects.
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Jul 16, 2012

    For privacy, you should edit out your identifying info (name, address and phone) for posting here.:2cents:
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 16, 2012

    Way too many capital letters there!

    You refer to "young people" several times. Perhaps you want to sub in something like "my students"???

    It seems very bare-bones. There's nothing there that makes me think "Now THAT teacher would be a great addition to our department."

    Have you ever done any work involving kids? Anything that could translate to the classroom? Before you took the security job in June 2011, did you work in a camp, tutor--anything?

    What did the security job entail? Anything you can relate??
     
  5. stampin'teacher

    stampin'teacher Cohort

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    Do you not have any job experience? Even if it's outside of teaching I would add it, and I always add 3-4 bullet points explaining my duties, wording it in a way that can somehow transfer to teaching.
     
  6. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    I was hoping to keep the resume kind of bare bones like that and divulge more in the cover letter. Is this a bad idea? I know this resume and probably cover letter is pretty bad. Thanks so much for the advice AliceCC!!

    Here is what i have for my cover letter:

    Dear _____:

    It is with great interest I am applying for a position at _____. I am a graduate of Florida State University who is a lover of mathematics, education and travel. I have 4 years of junior instructional experience in martial arts and have always enjoyed teaching while studying math but now I look very much forward to teaching young people about problem solving with mathematics.
    Upon receiving my application, I will be eligible for my Temporary Teacher's Certification. I have passed the Mathematics 6-12 subject area and General Knowledge Examination and will soon be taking a course for Substitute Teaching to learn more about classroom management. I have a strong passion for math and am eager for opportunity to transfer my passion to young minds.
    In addition to my current position, teaching business and homeowners how to use their security equipment, I have tutored many people throughout my college experience in basic level statistics and calculus.
    The reason why I want to teach, even though I am very enthusiastic about my current position as a security consultant, is that I am passionate about mathematics, learning and people, and I strongly desire a career that involves all three. Although there are many careers available for math lovers, not many of them involve dealing with people, and most of them involve staring at computer screens the majority of the time. In college, I originally majored in Economics because I was passionate about the subject, and not many of my friends understood it but had interest in it. I very much enjoyed being the conduit who taught them what they wanted to know about how banks, money and microeconomics worked. Probably so much so that they eventually got annoyed with me. Later, I studied more math for the career aspect but then lost some interest while realizing that a career as a statistical analyst was going to be very lonely and that I would have to make friends with my computer more so than my colleagues. Attracted by the money and excitement, I pursued a career in sales after college and have felt like a hole has been left there where my academic interests were.
    I hope to hear from you soon and look forward to an opportunity to interview for the position at ____ High School.

    Thank You,
    Applicant Name
     
  7. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    No, i Do not have any experience. I did some tutoring in college for friends and taught kung fu for my teacher all throughout college...
     
  8. 3littlemonkeys

    3littlemonkeys Comrade

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    Jul 16, 2012

    I would add in anything that relates to working in any kind of teaching capacity. I would also put bullet points under your work experience that list accomplishments--preferably accomplishments that use skills you'd use as a teacher. Did you train anyone on job duties? Did you have to evaluate anyone's performance?

    Some HR people disregard the cover letter so I wouldn't put the "good stuff" only in there, just in case.
     
  9. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 16, 2012

    That martial arts experience belongs in your resume!

    As to the cover letter: when I was department chair, doing the hiring, I cared about one thing: getting the best teachers I could for my department.

    Your entire cover letter is about YOU. Nowhere in it does it say or imply what you'll do for ME. Will you get results? Can you work with people?

    The person reading your cover letter doesn't care what other jobs you could have had. He wants to know how you'll do in this one.

    The cover letter should leave me thinking "I can't let this one go. Our school needs him teaching math."

    Does that make sense??
     
  10. 3littlemonkeys

    3littlemonkeys Comrade

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    Jul 16, 2012

    Also to me the resume is in a really weird order. I'd expect the objective at the top, for example.
     
  11. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    AliceCC - Yes it absolutely does. I just redid the content for my experience, I kept the CAPS format though. I am looking at it on my word processor and it looks different although you may be right if you were hiring teachers...

    Do you guys also think my objectives should be at the top? I thought they always came last??




    NON-EDUCATION EXPERIENCE
    GUARDIAN PROTECTION SERVICES TAMPA, FLORIDA
    Security Sales and Consulting June 2011 – Present
    My job consists of calling on and teaching business an homeowners how to use their security systems and equipment, and how to conduct evaluations of how safe their home is based on the layout of their dwelling(s), position, etc.
    TALLAHASSEE VING TSUN KUNG FU
    Junior Instructor and “Special Student” February 2006 – April 2011
    I provided support for my instructor by giving lectures on the practice, ettiquete, terminology and theory of Wing Chun and the martial arts, and one-on-one instruction with students as well as inbound recruiting duties consisting of explaining and demonstrating the art to visitors and potential students.

    EDUCATION
    FLORIDA STATE UNIVERSITY TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA
    Bachelors of Arts in Economics with Minors in Mathematics and Statistics, May 2012
    H.B. PLANT HIGH SCHOOL TAMPA, FLORIDA

    ADDITIONAL SKILLS
    SAS statistical programming
    Skilled in Microsoft Office Applications (Word, Excel, PowerPoint)
    Basic Web Page Building

    CREDENTIALS AND LICENSES
    Mathematics 6-12 Subject Area Passed on 7/12/12
    General Knowledge Exam Passed on 7/18/12

    CAREER OBJECTIVE
    To utilize my education in Economics, Statistics and Mathematics to provide a useful, interesting and applicable knowledge of mathematics to young people. My college education consisted of an Economics Degree where I focused very heavily on Mathematics and Statistics. Through this, I believe I will be able to provide insight, not only into how to solve problems using mathematics, but also how mathematics applies to real life and not just the abstract world young people usually associate with specialized mathematical subjects.
     
  12. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 16, 2012

    Again, please remove identifying info.
     
  13. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 16, 2012

    Google Teacher Resumes... I think you'll see that they typically have a bit more UMPH than yours.
     
  14. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    As far as the cover letter, I am tempted to re-do the entire thing but I am afraid it might be a little bit of a waste of my effort right away so I want to ask your advice a bit.

    -Is there anything I should keep?
    -Do you think I should focus on my results-oriented mentality?
    -Should I focus on my people skills developed from my sales work?
    -Should I focus on my education being well rounded mathematically so that I can teach the students not only how to use math but what it can be used for?

    These are my ideas? Are they any good, ya think?
     
  15. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Jul 16, 2012

    Your resume seems ALL out of order...
    Should be:

    Objective
    Certifications
    Education
    Experience
    Additional skills

    Truthfully, your lack of ANY teaching experience is going to make you less competitive.:sorry:
     
  16. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    Your right, they do have alot more UMPH. I'm going to re-do the entire thing. Thanks everyone so much for your advice!
     
  17. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I'm wiped out; I'll leave it to the night owls to take over.

    Good luck, and good night!
     
  18. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Jul 16, 2012

    You mention tutoring in college, funkspencer. Have you got what I call a "lightbulb moment" story? - that's a story about a time when someone really and truly "got it" and your efforts were instrumental.
     
  19. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    ok you guys, if anyone is still awake, I've got a new version of it. I want to thank you guys so much by the way!

    Applicant Name
    1234 Random St.
    Tampa, Florida, 33604
    657-345-3455
    funkspencer@gmail.com

    A passionate teacher and lover of the mathematical sciences who is eager to educate. I have an uncanny ability to develop rapport with people of all ages and an excellent understanding of mathematics insofar as explaining highly technical topics as simple and elegant concepts, making them an easy grasp for anyone. Patient and encouraging, a very big believer in positive reinforcement methods and the need for one-on-one integration teaching styles to accommodate all styles and speeds of learning and ability. Semi-fluent in Spanish speaking and reading.

    CREDENTIALS AND LICENSES
    Mathematics 6-12 Subject Area Passed on 7/12/12
    General Knowledge Exam Passed on 7/18/12

    EDUCATION
    Florida State University, Tallahassee, FL
    Bachelor of Arts
    Major: Economics Minors: Mathematics, Statistics GPA:3.2
    H.B. Plant High School, Tampa, FL

    EXPERIENCE
    Guardian Protection Services
    Security Sales and Consulting, June 2011 – Present
    My job consists of calling on and teaching business and homeowners how to use their security systems and equipment, and how to conduct evaluations of how safe their home is based on the layout of their dwelling(s), position, etc.
    Tallahassee Ving Tsun Kung Fu
    Junior Instructor and “Special Student”, February 2006 – April 2011
    I provided support for my instructor by giving lectures on the practice, ettiquete, terminology and theory of Wing Chun and the martial arts, and one-on-one instruction with students as well as inbound recruiting duties consisting of explaining and demonstrating the art to visitors and potential students.

    ADDITIONAL SKILLS
    SAS statistical programming
    Skilled in Microsoft Office Applications (Word, Excel, PowerPoint)
    Basic Web Page Building
     
  20. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    TeacherGroupie, I could think of one or two. The cover letter would be the place for something like this right?
     
  21. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 17, 2012

    Yes, absolutely.
     
  22. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    alicecc, do you think this last one works?
     
  23. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Here: "A passionate teacher and lover of the mathematical sciences who is eager to educate. I have an uncanny ability to develop rapport with people of all ages and an excellent understanding of mathematics insofar as explaining highly technical topics as simple and elegant concepts, making them an easy grasp for anyone. Patient and encouraging, a very big believer in positive reinforcement methods and the need for one-on-one integration teaching styles to accommodate all styles and speeds of learning and ability. Semi-fluent in Spanish speaking and reading."

    The "uncanny" is probably a bit of a stretch, and might not be taken seriously.

    The "highly technical topics" you're used to working with are NOT the types of things you'll be teaching, particulary as a first year teacher. The odds are that you'll probably be working with the younger kids. I think that that phase is probably a bit of a turnoff. The best math teachers I've observed are those who don't seem to let their kids think that the material IS highly technical.

    Go to the job seekers forum, and take a look at some of the resumes and cover letters that have been worked on recently-- we've seen a real flood over the past week or two. I think you'll see what we mean.
     
  24. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    you are an awesome resume critiquing goddess
     
  25. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 17, 2012

    Wow!! Now I have soemthing new for my resume, should I ever need it!
     
  26. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    You do want to get this together today if possible.

    Then, tonight, email your cover letter and resume to EVERY SINGLE public, private, charter, and religious school within an hour's commute. For each, personalize the greeting of the cover letter with the principal's name.

    Time's a wasting. Teaching has a very definite hiring season, and we're in the thick of it.
     
  27. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    Would you mind taking a look at my cover letter?



    Dear _____:
    It is with much interest that I am applying for a position as a mathematics teacher at ______ High School.
    I am enthusiastic about teaching students about math and even more so about the subject matter. My education is in economics from Florida State University where I assisted many of my fellow students in statistics and calculus courses, tutoring them for their exams and assisting them in grasping the finer points of mathematics. Also, throughout college, I was a dedicated student and assistant instructor for my wing chun kung fu instructor for several years. As you'll see in my resume, as a junior instructor, I assumed responsibilities involving developing and maintaining enough rapport with visitors to teach them what the art consisted of, how it is learned and what it is used for, and ultimately, get them to join. My instructor, whom I maintained an extremely close relationship with, was a biology teacher and an expert at developing students that excelled. It was my job as a “Special Student” to observe and learn everything he had to teach, including how to pass on knowledge in it's entirety.
    I am eager for the opportunity to interview for the position and demonstrate that I am the right person for this job. I can be reached at the information below.

    -Thank you
    Spencer Funk
     
  28. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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  29. funkspencer

    funkspencer Rookie

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    Dear _____:

    It is with much interest that I am applying for a position as a mathematics teacher at ______. I am enthusiastic about teaching students about math and even more so about the subject matter. My education is in economics from Florida State University where I assisted many of my fellow students in statistics and calculus courses, tutoring them for their exams and assisting them in grasping the finer points of mathematics. Also, throughout college, I was a dedicated student and assistant instructor for my wing chun kung fu instructor for several years. As you'll see in my resume, as a junior instructor, I assumed responsibilities involving developing and maintaining enough rapport with visitors to teach them what the art consisted of, how it is learned and what it is used for, and ultimately, get them to join. My instructor, whom I maintained an extremely close relationship with, was a biology teacher and an expert at developing students that excelled. It was my job as a “Special Student” to observe and learn everything he had to teach, including how to pass on knowledge in it's entirety.

    Once, while instructing at my school in Tallahassee, we had a younger boy join the school, apparently at his grandmother's urging. He seemed extremely shy and unsure of himself and stood out of place being younger than most and not the fastest to learn the beginning exercises. Most of the students, being there to improve themselves, preferred not to work out with him and I had noticed after his first week that he spent the majority of the time working alone and without a partner. I used the opportunity to take out the majority of my training time to teach him the hows and whys of the art to make sure he had a strong foundation. It was in my experience that the quickest learners in martial arts were typically the most eager to skimp on the foundational basics and lacked the patience to slow down and help the younger students with detail. From then, and on until I had left Tallahassee, I made it my goal to see that he had a solid foundation and an opportunity to compete with his fellow students. After 6 months, the rest of the school had taken a considerably greater interest in training with him-partially I'm sure from seeing the seniors taking an interest in him and mostly from his increase in skill and knowledge-no doubt a result of the much needed one-on-one time he received. Returning to the school after I had left, I was proud to find him much more talkative and carrying himself with thrice the confidence than when I had first met him.

    I am eager for the opportunity to interview for the position and demonstrate that I am the right person for this job. I can be reached at the information below.
     
  30. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I think you're on the right track.

    It's kind of wordy though. I would cut a lot of the first paragraph.

    But this part: "It was in my experience that the quickest learners in martial arts were typically the most eager to skimp on the foundational basics and lacked the patience to slow down and help the younger students with detail. From then, and on until I had left Tallahassee, I made it my goal to see that he had a solid foundation and an opportunity to compete with his fellow students" is directly applicable to your hopes of teaching math.
     
  31. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 17, 2012

    For example,

     

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