Please have a look at my cover letter

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by Pisces_Fish, Apr 14, 2008.

  1. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2006
    Messages:
    2,735
    Likes Received:
    5

    Apr 14, 2008

    This is only my first cover letter, so I would love some words of advice.

    Some quick notes that will help the letter make more sense. The school's mission/vission statement is "sailing towards excellence." Their whole theme is about navigation and sailing. I think it's cute :) The district's mission is to foster a lifelong love of learning.

    I'm a little worried about the last sentence of the first paragraph. I'm trying to convey that I'm looking for a school that fits my personal "style," NOT for a school that feels like home BACK IN RHODE ISLAND. Is this clear enough? I don't want to come off homesick :lol: but I can't figure out a better way to say it.

    I feel paragraph 3 needs "something else" but I'm worried it'll be too long if I do that. Thoughts?

    Feel free to "tear this up," I'm certain it needs work! :thanks:

    BTW: is website one word or two???
    _______________________________________
    Dear Xxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxxxx:


    I am writing to express my interest in the third grade position that is posted on your district’s website for the upcoming school year. I graduated with a B.A. in Elementary Education in May 2007, and currently hold a North Carolina teaching certificate. After relocating to North Carolina from Rhode Island this past February, I am eager to find the school that feels most like “home.”



    Cleveland Elementary stands out as a school that best fits my philosophy of teaching. It takes more than the classroom teacher to educate the whole child. Everyone – parents, fellow teachers, administration, and the community at large – must band together to ensure that all children are given the best resources available so that that each child reaches their full potential. It would be an honor to “Sail Towards Excellence” with teachers who are fully committed to fostering a love of learning in their students that will last a lifetime.



    I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you in person to further discuss my qualifications and the desire to teach at your school. My resume and brief sample of my portfolio is enclosed. I can be reached anytime at (xxx) xxx-xxxx, or if you prefer, by email at xxxxxxxxxx@xxxxxx.xxx.



    Warm Regards,

    Pisces_Fish


    enclosure
     
  2.  
  3. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    17,362
    Likes Received:
    46

    Apr 14, 2008

    I just made a few changes and took a couple of things out.
     
  4. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2008
    Messages:
    1,494
    Likes Received:
    1

    Apr 14, 2008

    Dear Xxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxxxx:


    I am writing to express my interest in the third grade position that is posted on your district’s website for the upcoming school year. I graduated with a B.A. in Elementary Education in May 2007, and currently hold a North Carolina teaching certificate. After relocating to North Carolina from Rhode Island this past February, I am eager to find the school that feels most like “home.”



    Cleveland Elementary stands out as a school that best fits my philosophy of teaching. It takes more than the classroom teacher to educate the whole child. Everyone – parents, fellow teachers, administration, and the community at large – must band together to ensure that all children are given the best resources available so that that each child reaches their full potential. It would be an honor to “Sail Towards Excellence” with teachers who are fully committed to fostering a love of learning in their students that will last a lifetime.



    I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you in person to further discuss my qualifications and the desire to teach at your school. My resume and brief sample of my portfolio is(are?) enclosed. I can be reached anytime at (xxx) xxx-xxxx, or (if you prefer-too weak, remove), by email at EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.


    Warm Regards,

    Pisces_Fish


    enclosure


    I made a few changes. Overall, it is nicely written. Good Luck:2up:
     
  5. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    3,563
    Likes Received:
    4

    Apr 14, 2008

    Nice job! I am a little concerned it does not say enough about your qualifications. I like the "it takes a village" attitude, I just don't know if you need it in your cover letter unless you see that they say the same thing. Does that makes sense??

    My resume and brief sample of my portfolio are enclosed. I would also delete "anytime" in your last paragraph.

    All in all I think it has a nice flow.

    lemon
     
  6. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2006
    Messages:
    2,735
    Likes Received:
    5

    Apr 14, 2008

    Thanks so much, I made some of the changes you all recommended. I think it sounds so much better. I think Lemon is right, that it needs more about me. I just need to figure out where I can add it. I'll repost tomorrow, if anyone's curious. :)

    P.S. -- I said it on another board, but congratulations again, Lemon!
     
  7. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    3,644
    Likes Received:
    108

    Apr 14, 2008

    Did you check out the school's website and see what their philosophy is or what type of teacher's they're looking for? I did this before I interviewed with the school where I got a job and made sure my views were in line with theirs.
     
  8. Leikela

    Leikela Companion

    Joined:
    May 17, 2006
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0

    Apr 15, 2008

    I am in the same boat as you and am finishing up my cover letter as we speak. After doing a lot of research, you definitely need more about you. Sell yourself. What past experience do you have with teaching? What accomplishments have you made? When I am done with mine, I will post for you to look over. Good luck!
     
  9. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    3,563
    Likes Received:
    4

    Apr 15, 2008

    Leikela- make sure you start a new thread so we don't confuse the two.

    Please post when you are done.

    lemon
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. SpecialPreskoo,
  2. TeacherNY,
  3. miss-m
Total: 312 (members: 3, guests: 279, robots: 30)
test