Please Critique My Cover Letter!!!

Discussion in 'Job Hunting & Interviews' started by CAAISA, Jul 5, 2006.

  1. CAAISA

    CAAISA Rookie

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    Jul 5, 2006

    First of all, thank you so much to everyone who has helped me thru this process...You have all been wonderful and I have used EVERYBODY'S advice and thank the Lord I am finally done with my resume. But, now I am writing my cover letter and I would love feedback!!! As you recall, I don't have an education degree, I have a BA in English Lit. So, fire away...don't be kind....give me all you got!

    Dear _________. Principal Name,

    Please accept my resume for consideration for the position of English teacher. I received my Bachelors of Arts in English Literature from Florida International University with a Cum Laude honor. I have an Official Statement of Status Eligibility for middle English grades 5 - 9. I will begin my Professional Educator’s requirement courses in the fall.

    I am very interested in a position at your school. I believe my skills, educational background, and experiences, qualify me for this position. As a mother of one of your students, I am very impressed with both your faculty as well as your administration. Not only has my son’s school work improved, but I find that his organization and study discipline has had a dramatic improvement. I credit this behavior to a faculty who treats their students with respect while teaching them responsibility and self-discipline. It is this type of supportive environment that I look forward to beginning my teaching career.

    As you can see by my resume, I have experience working not only with student’s researching, writing, editing and proofreading, but also with the daily needs of a classroom and it’s running. I am able to multi-task the needs of several students while staying calm and level headed. My work experience, as well as being a mother of three, has given me the ability to allow each student/child to have a say, be respected for their views and inputs, and still bring their focus and energy into one agreed upon idea. As the assistant to the Foreign Graduate Program at the University of Miami School of Law, as well as the Consulate of Finland, I am well-versed in cultural differences and challenges and has made me more sensitive to the needs of students from various cultural backgrounds. I am also bilingual, having been raised in a Cuban-American family.

    I have also had the great privilege of being President of the Parent-Teacher Organization as well as a room mother. Being an involved mother, I have had the opportunity to not only be a part of my children’s education from the home environment, but I have also had the advantage of being a part of their classroom. I am proud to be able to say that I took part in helping make their education and their school environment a better place.

    Therefore, I respectfully request that I be considered for a teaching position in your school. I look forward to meeting with you to discuss your needs and how my strengths can benefit your school. In the meantime, should you need additional information about my qualifications and skills beyond what my resume outlines, please call me at
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jul 5, 2006

    Take this for what it's worth: a math teacher's take on the English language:

    " am very interested in a position at your school. I believe my skills, educational background, and experiences, qualify me for this position" ... do you do need that comma after "experiences"??

    "but also with the daily needs of a classroom and it’s running. "... shouldn't it be "its" w/o the apostrophe?

    "My work experience, as well as being a mother of three, has given me the ability to allow each student/child to have a say, be respected for their views and inputs, and still bring their focus and energy into one agreed upon idea.... I would change "as well as" to "my experiences as the mother of three". I would change "student/child" to one or the other. "their" should be singular-- you're talking about EACH student. So I guess you mean "his or her." Forgive me here. I speak a decent game, but it's been a LONG time since I had to know a preposition from a possesive. I can frequently spot what doesn't sound right, but have no idea of what to call it!

    Isn't "well-versed" two separate words?

    I would drop "In the meantime" entirely, and state "I can be contacted at...."


    You did a nice job!! You wove all your info in seamlessly. You did a nice job of using your varied background to your benefit!
     
  4. adria

    adria Comrade

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    Jul 5, 2006

    I have a question .......do you think she should mention that she has a child at the school in which she is applying for?
     
  5. munchkin

    munchkin Cohort

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    Jul 5, 2006

    yes. it lends legitmacy to her desire to work at this particular school, especially sice she doesn't have her teaching credentials, yet. Being a parent, especially an involved parent are very good pluses for her wanting to teach there. she has a vested interest, so to speak.

    Your grammar corrections were on target. Especially the commas. the i-t-'-s is for the words it is. If you can insert those two words with out is contraction, you are safe to use it. If it makes no sense, don't use it.
     
  6. adria

    adria Comrade

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    Jul 5, 2006

    thanks
     
  7. CAAISA

    CAAISA Rookie

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    Jul 6, 2006

    Thanks for catching those errors...I really appreciate it. Let's hope it works!
     

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