Picking your battles?

Discussion in 'Behavior Management' started by Charlie Trahan, Oct 19, 2019.

  1. Charlie Trahan

    Charlie Trahan Rookie

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    Oct 19, 2019

    So Im new to teaching. Last Tuesday was my first day. The principal said I am absolutely amazing. Most of my kids are shaped up and ready to work. This is an at risk teen charter school and usually the last stop before they leave school altogether. I teach 5th, 6th, 7th and 8th. I have about 1 to 2 probpem students each class but tge rest are great. Sometimes when I tell a child stop talking, picking on so and so etc. I will get an attitude filled comeback. Sometimes they will immediately do what i asked after their comeback and some take me moving them or having to counsel in the hall. For me its picking my battles and attitude can be hard to document however it is still disrespectful to the teacher. For those that work with preteens do you still get onto attitude or long as they do what they are supposed to do let the comment slide? I can hear one of my neighbor teavhers screaming back and forth with them sometimes. In order to shock them I yelled out "disengaging!" And they will for the most part stop.
     
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  3. vickilyn

    vickilyn Multitudinous

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    Oct 19, 2019

    Every one has their own way of dealing. Once the exchange slides into the muck with yelling by the teacher (on a common frequency), the students fully have the upper hand. Hardest thing to figure out is what you can do to not let the students push you over the tipping point. Personal experience has shown me that some of these students are more comfortable with male teachers, for a variety of reasons. Moms and kids are often in a state of constant conflict, so female teachers become the safe way to say to a female what they may not feel completely safe saying to mom. Just call it a lot of personal experience. Ask other male teachers how they are dealing with these kids and figure out if what they tell you is something you can deal with or do. The first year is the hardest.
     
  4. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Oct 21, 2019

    I agree with this.
    Women are nurturers, so by our nature, most of us talk more, willing to find out what the problem is, explaining or justifying our consequences, and in general be sweeter than male teachers, who most of the time talk a lot less, don't get into anything too much, just set expectations and everything is black and white.

    Another problem is that at-risk youth often have problematic home lives, they sometimes / often have a father who mistreats the mother (even if just verbally) and a lot of these kids do not want to take "orders" from women.

    Also, they often feel safer with a woman, and they will let their anger or frustration out on someone they feel safe with. They know you won't yell or slap them (as opposed to someone at home), but it's leaving you wondering "what did I ever do to you??"
     
  5. Tired Teacher

    Tired Teacher Devotee

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    Oct 26, 2019

    OK Now I know we are dealing w/ 5th-8th. :) My own son went from being a straight A, kind hearted kid to a royal pain in 7th-8th. Screaming back and forth is not the way to go for sure. You don't want them to get your goat, and they won't if you don't let them know where it is tied. :)
    I know a teacher who is really good w/ this age. She has a sly, smart alec ( not rude, sometimes it is even putting herself down in a joking way), but she always has a good comeback that shuts "it" down or deescalates a situation. Part of it is her quick wit and personality.
    I remember getting mad when my son was at that age. I'd tell him to do something and he'd lollygag. Then I'd get madder. ( OK , not good, I know.) One day someone I really respect told me to stop and watch. It turned out that he did do what I said, but he was making me wait a few minutes. I don't remember the details so much, but I'd guess he threw some attitude in there too.From then on, I tried to remember to keep my mouth shut when I was mad and watch.
    I think showing lack of emotion (other than humor) with this age group is most effective. Find a voice that works for you that doesn't sound annoyed and just state whatever you need to say. I think the attitude comment content would make me decide whether to pick that battle or not.
    Since they are doing what you say, that is awesome!. You must be cut out for this age/ population. It is fantastic that your P is already seeing your talent. I am really happy for you!
     

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