Personally not liking a kid in class...

Discussion in 'General Education Archives' started by Tookie Williams, Jul 10, 2007.

  1. Tookie Williams

    Tookie Williams Rookie

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    Jul 10, 2007

    Why is it that teachers are not 'allowed' to dislike students? And if they do, they are considered 'bad teachers'?

    In everyother profession in life, you are allowed to dislike people you work with, or are in charge of, for stuff like work ethic, morals, etc.

    If a person at my summer job lies to me, makes my job harder by being lazy, disrupts everyone around them and won't folow directions, noone will complain if I say "that person is a turd" but if a kid lies to me, makes my job harder by being lazy, disrupts everyone around them and won't follow directions, I'm a bad teacher if I dislike them on a personal level.

    I know people confuse not liking a kid for not teaching a kid, but I can seperate the two.

    I also don't know why people frown upon having teacher's pets. In life, making the boss happy leads to a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch your back" kind of situation. I have pets every year. What's wrong with a kid learning some politicing techniques that they can use in real life later?
     
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  3. Mrs. R.

    Mrs. R. Connoisseur

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    Are you saying that you obviously show favor to certain students in your classes?
     
  4. Tookie Williams

    Tookie Williams Rookie

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    I'm saying, that if a grade comes down to one point, I know which one is going to get that free point and which one is not...
     
  5. emmyblemmy

    emmyblemmy Companion

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    I think everyone has their days when they have issues with certain children/child. However, you are there to guide them and teach them the right way of doing things- not criticize them for not being perfect. Besides, your students are not your co-workers, nor grown adults. I believe that you cannot effectively and equally teach children that you discriminate against because they are not up to your personal standards versus the ones that are.
     
  6. Tookie Williams

    Tookie Williams Rookie

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    This is a life lesson the kids need to see. The earlier the better.

    Heck, if you, as a teacher, are on the good side of the Principal, better things happen then if you lied, cheated, stole or had an overall poor work ethic. Kids need to realize this, and the sooner they realize it, the better.

    Coddling kids from life experiences that can be learned in school is the travesty I see in education today.
     
  7. Tookie Williams

    Tookie Williams Rookie

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    ESE preaches it and I think it applies here

    Fair is not always equal
     
  8. Mrs. R.

    Mrs. R. Connoisseur

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    I think there is a difference between coddling kids and treating all of the children in your classroom with an equal degree of respect and consideration. Of course, I have had children over the course of my fifteen years of teaching that I have not liked for one reason or another. I did everything I could NOT to let that child or his/her parents know that. Kids learn life lessons soon enough. They don't need to know that their seventh grade teacher didn't like them!
    On the other hand, I also have students that for whatever reason I like more than others. Again, they don't know that. I'm not saying that I treat every student the same; I don't because of varying needs of students in my classroom, but I treat all of them with an equal degree of respect and show them how to succeed in our school and community.
    Think, too, about the perceptions of the others in your classroom. That kid who is your "favorite" who gets the special attention, will get the wrong kind of attention from his/her classmates. I know that the "golden children" on our staff are not always liked or respected by their peers, especially if it seems as if the esteem of the administrator is unearned.

    I'm beginning to wonder, Tookie, if you are posting things just to stir the pot around here.
     
  9. Tookie Williams

    Tookie Williams Rookie

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    I worried about the teachers' pet syndrome, but so far, the pets that I have had have nothing to worry about as far as getting made fun of as the other kids like them a lot.

    I have also had my class 'turd' become a pet later in the year and one other that has become a team captain for my team. They aren't forever cast into a turd pile never to get another chance. But they have to learn, THEY have to change, not me. And some (pets) figured me out quicker.
     
  10. Eliza

    Eliza Companion

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    I'm beginning to wonder, Tookie, if you are posting things just to stir the pot around here.[/QUOTE]


    :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
    My thoughts exactly
     
  11. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    Jul 10, 2007

    I can't imagine calling or even thinking of a child as a "turd." :eek:
     
  12. titansrst

    titansrst Rookie

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    In a perfect world, such questions would not be asked because all kids would be dutiful, hardworking and honest. I am a veteran of 12 years, male and teach Grade 2. There are children for whom I serve as a surrogate father, and although I used to fight it, I now nurture those relationships, as I teach in a poor urban setting. Do these kids know they have a special bond with me? I believe I can't always hide it. I also admit that there have been children I couldn't stand. Like one of the posters above said, I do all I can to make sure they don't know it, and, in fact, try to spend quality special time with these kids to see if things can improve. You know what? Sometimes they do improve, and sometimes they don't. But I do not let it affect how I grade the child. In fact, one of the closest kids to me this year was kept off the Honor Roll because his spelling didn't merit reward, while another child on my "not fond of list" earned an Honor Roll award because of outstanding work the last third of the year. As for teaching kids politics, they don't need lessons. They come out the womb with that savvy, and what is not inherited they learn from parents, the media and even teachers bent on doling reward for all the wrong reasons.
     
  13. Tookie Williams

    Tookie Williams Rookie

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    asking hard questions is learning. I'm sorry you are too closeminded to look within yourself and help someone learn. Sorry, I thought I was talking to teachers here.
     
  14. Tookie Williams

    Tookie Williams Rookie

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    let me clarify that a little...


    I refer to the behavior as turd behavior. Saying "acting like a little $417" is frowned upon
     
  15. emmyblemmy

    emmyblemmy Companion

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    Thank you for understanding my comments, Mrs. R. There is definitely a difference between coddling and treating equally. I think it is important for teachers to understand that.
     
  16. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    It is our challenge to find things to like about the 'difficult to like child'....That child needs your understanding more than the easy ones. At least 'fake it until you make it...' And if you can't do that maybe you shouldn't be a teacher...
     
  17. ratsfan

    ratsfan Rookie

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    You are talking to teachers. However you are also talking to human beings; none of whom (I hope) would refer to ANY behavior as "turd-like". You appear to have difficulty seperating emotion from intellect. Also, I think that you may be under the impression that YOU are the most important person in your classroom. You are not. In fact, if you have 24 children, then you (as would I), would rank 25th.
     
  18. Tookie Williams

    Tookie Williams Rookie

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    that argument might hold water if you haven't ever ran into a person you didn't like for whatever reasons. I simply title the reasons I don't like someone as "turd behavior" I don't cuss so this is my alternative saying.

    but this entire post goes to prove my point. No one can think a teacher can dislike on a personal level, a student, but still teach them.
     
  19. ilove2teach

    ilove2teach New Member

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    I was in agreement with you, Tookie, until you began referring to children as turds. Something that helps me keep from developing intense dislike of particular students is imagining how I would feel if a teacher thought about MY child the way I am thinking about THEIR child. I don't think there's any need to refer to certain difficult kids in that way.
     
  20. rs0316

    rs0316 Rookie

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    I would hope teachers can hide it well if they dislike a student. I remember having a teacher in elementary school that I felt "didnt like me". That feeling has stayed with me all these years. I would think that personal feelings would be hard to hide while teaching a student every day, unless someone was very good at hiding it. If a teacher dislikes a student so much isnt the student bound to pick up in it?
     
  21. Tookie Williams

    Tookie Williams Rookie

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    uh oh, it seems I crossed that 'politically correct' line that says teachers aren't people, too with real emotions. I thought other teachers may feel the same way.

    Tell me then, where is the magic "ON/OFF" switch? I haven't found mine yet, like most of you have.


    However, I have thought about my kid in that situation. If my kid is acting like a turd, then the consequences of that are hers to suffer.
     
  22. Tookie Williams

    Tookie Williams Rookie

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    probably, but the student is the only one that can change those turd like behaviors.

    And keep in mind, I'm not talking about a teacher not like a student for something that they can not help or change, like color, sex, religion, which would cross over an ethical line. I'm talking about just your run of the mill kids that think it's their job to annoy.

    I tell kids, that if they keep me happy, they stay happy, if they annoy, I promise, they will leave class hating me more than I do them.
     
  23. emmyblemmy

    emmyblemmy Companion

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    The on and off switch is called professionalism. Kids are your job, and you treat your job with respect and care, do you not? Whether you like them or not is not an issue- you control your emotions for the sake of both of your feelings! It is much too easy to lose your job as an educator these days.
     
  24. Tookie Williams

    Tookie Williams Rookie

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    What if they were criminals, with a record and tried to intimidate you. They get sent out, only to return worse than before. Could you think that behavior was 'turd behavior' without everyone thinking you a bad teacher? And that does happen

    What if one tries to get personal and try to insite you when they see you in a store with your family?

    You guys don't think this stuff happens?
     
  25. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    OH, don't get me wrong- I can certainly teach those 'difficult to like kids'...and do it well without the kid thinking I have any negative thoughts about him/her...what I'm calling for you to consider tookie is that such children need understanding, they need to feel a sense of significance and belonging. Never forget the time in your classroom may be the best time that child has all day. It's an awesome responsibility. Rise to the occasion.
     
  26. emmyblemmy

    emmyblemmy Companion

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    What do you gain by expressing dislike for a child? Tell the child you don't like him/her and that will no doubtedly engage the two of you in some kind of struggle (especially with middle-schoolers), not to mention lose whatever rapport you have with the parent. The situations you described above are instances that are to be handled in a different manner than the normal disturbances. It is one thing to be concerned for the other students' safety and your classroom environment, while it is quite another to openly display your dislike for the child which won't help your management situation at all. My question is, what do you gain by displaying your dislike for a student? What will you accomplish?
     
  27. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I certainly don't like many behaviors and I'm fairly new but at the same time I feel like (when I'm in my best mode) that those kids are the ones who NEED a teacher to teach them not behave like a "turd." Of course I'm in the elementary level. That being said, there will be days when our personal emotions might be a little closer to the surface than they should, but we should strive to figure out what might help this child change some of those behaviors.
     

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