Personal necessity and what you think I should do...

Discussion in 'Kindergarten' started by serawyn, Jun 19, 2008.

  1. serawyn

    serawyn Companion

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    Jun 19, 2008

    I am getting married next April and unfortunately, it has to be the weekend after my spring break because we cannot get married during easter weekend.

    My fiance and I LOATH the summer in California because it is too hot and we do not want to get married in the summer. Winter and fall are out of the picture for various family reasons so Spring is the only time. Our date is next April and I am thinking of taking 10 personal days off from work. This would be two weeks after Spring Break. I would have a retired teacher who's substituted for me in the classroom and help him with all the lesson plans. Keep in mind this is almost the end of the year so the kids will be much more independent. Do you think it's ok??? I feel so guilty thinking about doing this, but I have NEVER taken any sick days or personal days. I've never had a vacation because I'm always working during the summer (I cannot afford to take vacations).

    I guess I need some honest opinions from other teachers. People I've spoken with about this told me I'm being selfish because I already have the summer vacation, which if you're in teaching know it's not true!
     
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  3. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Jun 19, 2008

    Why do you need to take off 10 days?
     
  4. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    My wedding was after spring break too but I only took 1 week off. I did not feel guilty at all!
     
  5. Lesley

    Lesley Habitué

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    I know teachers who have been married in the spring, one took a week off but tied to to a long weekend and another took a Friday and Monday off, then had her honeymoon when school was out. Do you get 10 personal days ( we get 3 a year and then any left over go to our sick leave)? Where are you going? If it were me, I would feel guilty for not being at school and have my honeymoon when school is not in session, but that is me.
     
  6. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    I think your kiddos would probably be okay, but I can totally understand the guilt feeling. Usually teachers don't take 2 weeks so people sort of gasp when one does.

    I guess you have to also consider what your class is like? How needy will they be? How uptight do the parents get and all that jazz. Plus you need to consider if anything else might happen up until that point where you need to be out for a while.

    As someone who has been married a long time, I can tell you that it is not the end of the world to not honeymoon immediately after your wedding. It seems like it is but trust me, in years to come, when it comes up in conversation, no one comes right out and asks you when you went, they ask where you went.

    If it was me, I would take a few days after the wedding and then honeymoon in the summer. That way there wouldn't be 23 days without your kiddos.
     
  7. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    I took a week off after my wedding which was after a two week Christmas break (three weeks total, but only one without my kids). My wedding was the last weekend of break so I had one week to settle in. We went out of town immediately after wedding and came home Monday so my DH could go back to work.

    I don't know that I would take two weeks. One week was great and now we are taking another week this summer and going on a cruise! It's like two honeymoons.
     
  8. teacherpippi

    teacherpippi Habitué

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    What about taking a slightly longer weekend small honeymoon and then saving the larger one for later?

    My husband and I were married a year and a half ago. We're taking our honeymoon this summer (to Ireland)!
     
  9. MandaNicole01

    MandaNicole01 Habitué

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    I'm probably going to get flamed for this but...it is YOUR life! If you have 2 weeks to take and want to take it off, do it! You have those days for a reason! You'll be quite refreshed from being off! Some people flamed me for taking an extended infant bonding leave because the sub my principal got for me was awful and my kids ran wild. BUT, it is MY baby and I wanted to stay home with him...family comes first! I'm not saying to abandon your job, but they'll manage. We are silly to think if we up and died tomorrow that they wouldn't find a replacement for us...you aren't the only one who can teach your children. It'll be fine! Like you said, it's April and you won't be doing this (taking off 2 weeks) every year! I rarely miss 5 days a year! But, family first then job! Do what's best for you!

    FYI since I've been off I'm now anxiously awaiting fall to start back...I feel so refreshed and can't wait to get back in the classroom! I think you'll feel the same way!:)
     
  10. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I agree with others that have said to take a few days off during the school year and take your big honeymoon during the summer. My DH and I have been married for almost 6 years, and have never been on a honeymoon. But ultimately its your decision.

    Also, with long absences like this, especially after a break, you have to get it approved by the principal/the board so make sure you request early.
     
  11. educator

    educator Rookie

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    Jun 19, 2008

    Do what YOU want to do.

    You have one life, and the contract didn't exchange your life, your ability to make a decision and your individuality for a classroom and a paycheck.

    If the sub is good, conducts your classes as you instruct and you are able to come back into the classroom with everything on track, your kids are covered and you have the wedding/honeymoon that YOU want.

    Hopefully, you're only going to get married once, so this issue will be a moot point after April.

    Best wishes and much happiness.
     
  12. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

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    Jun 19, 2008

    If you have the days available and want to take two weeks, then take two weeks! I went years without taking any personal days and took minimal sick days. This year I took more personal days than I ever have. I hate planning for a sub, and I always dread being away, but the children are resilient and everyone survives and I appreciate the break.

    Your wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Arrange your honeymoon however you want to and have fun!
     
  13. serawyn

    serawyn Companion

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    Jun 19, 2008

    I guess I didn't make it clear in the original post, but the reason why it would be immediately after the wedding is because I also work during the summer. I cannot afford not to work so summers are jammed pack with two jobs, one as an IT tech and one as a babysitter. I have to work all summer because my jobs are very demanding and I cannot take time off.

    Thanks everyone for your opinion! I will mull over what you've said and take my honeymoon. I am for sure going to take some days off, just not sure how long yet.
     
  14. teacherpippi

    teacherpippi Habitué

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    That makes sense. Do what's best for you!

    CONGRATULATIONS, by the way! :wub:
     
  15. Lesley

    Lesley Habitué

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    The additional information helped. take some time and enjoy!
     
  16. love2teachk

    love2teachk Companion

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    Take as many days as you need off! I know as teachers it is hard to imagine "our kids" without us, but they will survive, even if you aren't there! You only get married once, and will have to live with your hubby forever-you only have to see these kids 180 days. If it is important to both of you-take the time!!!!
     
  17. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Good luck with your decision. I felt the same way as you did with not wanting my wedding anywhere near the summer. TOO HOT! And I did NOT want my honeymoon to be ruined by the heat. We had a nice cool week on our honeymoon in April. It rained a bit but at least it wasn't 95 degrees or higher.
     
  18. paperheart

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    Absolutely. Take all the time you want! The kids will survive and will be enriched by another person getting to know them (the sub) while you are gone. Priorities come first and getting married definitely trumps you teaching them any possible subject. Best wishes!
     
  19. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    TAKE OFF AND ENJOY YOURSELF!

    No guilt trips. You deserve some time for this special event!! And.....

    Subs need to work!!


    :D
     
  20. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Check with your district and see what the rules are before you make any plans. Here, we can only take 3 sick days before needing a dr. note, and you cannot take more than 2 personal days in a row...and none in any conjunction with sick days. A guidance counselor recently was fired for taking 5 consecutive days for a marriage/honeymoon, even though she had the days to take...because it was against her contract.

    I don't really have any opinion one way or the other of what you "should do." Just make sure you don't create any un-needed headaches for yourself!
    Kim
     
  21. princessa48

    princessa48 Companion

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    Jun 23, 2008

    I would definitely get it approved in writing from your administrators so it doesn't make waves. If they are supportive then I say go for it. Good luck, and have a blast!
     
  22. jenejoy

    jenejoy Companion

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    Do you realize the extra stress that you may be adding to planing for your wedding by also planning two weeks of a sub? At least I would not have wanted the extra stress when I was planning my wedding but that could have been me. I've also been out preplanned for 2 weeks in the past and know that the effort that it took was emense to have everything ready ( the sub won't be longterm to at least in our district we would be expected to have everything prepped and set out with very detailed plans.) Also I'm in SoCal and even if we have the days our contract limits the number of days that can be personal necessity so I would definitly check into that since it sounds like you're not familiar with using your days based on your post. It would bite to find out you've been docked pay if you aren't allowed to take that many (in our district that is what happens-we're docked based on our hourly wage for overusing personal necessity rather than the mere cost of a sub for sick leave.) Just make sure you've checked it all out before you make you final decision. On a side note, We were married in June the week before I had to be back for YRE. We took 3 days for a quick honeymoon then and saved the big one for my next vacation. It was kind of nice that way since it saved a bit of the romance for later as well.
     
  23. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    We did the same thing as jenejoy. We got married in June, and because we'd had a lot of snow that year, our school year was extended. SO, even though we'd originally planned the wedding to be after the year ended, it turns out that we still had 3 days of teacher work days to complete after the wedding - and here, those are days that you cannot take off. If you take a "sick" day, you get docked pay, and if you take a personal leave day, you run the risk of losing your job. SOOO....we took a very quick overnight trip to a local b&b for the wedding night, I went to work Monday-Wednesday, and we took our real honeymoon much later in the summer. The good part of that was that we had enough time to cash all of the wedding checks and use it for the honeymoon!
    Kim
     
  24. serawyn

    serawyn Companion

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    Thanks everyone for your thoughtful advice and expertise! I've checked with my district and we are allowed to take 10 personal days with the approval of our administrator. My principal is ok with me being gone because our site sub knows my classroom very well. He is also highly dependable so I don't have much to worry about in terms of lesson planning and getting everything written down (yay, less stress for me!). However, after much consideration, I agree with the majority that a short honeymoon is best. I will take a week off and then do another week during the winter break. I'm super excited about this!

    Thanks again to everyone who responded to my post!
     
  25. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Great! I am glad you feel good about your decision and I think its a good one. I subbed for a kinder teacher the week rignt after Spring break and they were fine. They missed their teacher but they did great. I wasn't aware of the summer situation which probably would have changed my answer to take the whole two weeks as long as admin is cool with it.

    Congrats to you Serawyn!!!!
     
  26. hescollin

    hescollin Fanatic

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    Jun 26, 2008

    getting married.

    It would be nice to get married the week end before spring break, but I guess for some reason you don't think you can do that.
     
  27. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    I don't know if the OP had this problem but when I tried to get married the weekend before spring break (which happened to be the weekend before Easter) my church would NOT allow it. They said they had too many things going on at that time. I was pretty upset and at one point wanted to just have the wedding at the reception site instead but my parents would have had a fit :lol:
     
  28. serawyn

    serawyn Companion

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    I posted this in my original post, but maybe it wasn't clear. Ideally the weekend before Spring Break would be great, but celebrations of any kind is not allowed by the catholic church because that is Easter Sunday. It's like absolutely forbidden unless we have the focus of our ceremony be about Easter and God. It seemed a bit depressing for me to have my vows be about death and living and such so my fiance and I passed on this one. Even with it being a week after Easter, we still need to incorporate some Easter readings into our ceremony. It's with the Catholic church and this is what our priest told us. He said there may be exceptions, but it's very hard to get it approved with the bishop.
     
  29. trayums

    trayums Enthusiast

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    Jun 26, 2008

    A very close friend of my took a week off of school for her wedding in May. 2 weeks seems long to me, but if you feel that's what you want to do, that is what personal days are for. Do you know if you have 10 personal days? I know that in my district we get 3 a year and then we get docked in pay for any other days that might be taken that aren't sick days or family illness days. Anyhow- this is a very personal decision. You need to feel good about taking those weeks and you also need to be sure that your principal is okay with it too!!!! Have a wonderful wedding! Enjoy your honeymoon!!!!!!
     
  30. Iteachtwo

    Iteachtwo Companion

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    Ten days after spring break does sound like long time. I agree that I would probably take only a week off after spring break. I too honeymooned a few months later after getting married, 3 1/2 months to be exact and I didn't feel bad taking the time off (Wednesday-Tuesday with two holidays in there). We had a great time and return every year.
     
  31. trayums

    trayums Enthusiast

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    Oh yes! I agree with this!!! Believe me, I am getting married in 3 days and school is out and I am still very stressed (you'd never know since I am on these boards and not doing what I should be hehe) but with school, and the wedding and a honeymoon etc, planning for 2 weeks will be stressful for sure. Just keep that in mind...

    p.s. I'm not trying to be gloom and doom!:unsure:
     
  32. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Jun 26, 2008

    it's okay, I do the same thing! realist...that we are...

    congratulations to you too!
     

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