People who can't grow up

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by jen12, Mar 20, 2011.

  1. jen12

    jen12 Devotee

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    Do you feel like, because you spend so much time with children, that you have zero tolerance for adults who behave as children?

    I have a friend, who I guess judging by her behavior isn't really a friend at all, who is 40 going on 13. She launched an attack on me several months ago and has been freezing me out ever since when it comes to social situations that she arranges, but is syrupy sweet to me in the presence of mutual friends. A few weeks ago, I invited her and a mutual friend to lunch. Both ignored my email for a week, then when I followed up, both told me they had other plans, then posted on FB pictures of the two of them at our regular brunch place along with statements the rest of the afternoon about what they were doing that day.

    Really?

    It's the equivalent of throwing a party in middle school, not inviting a classmate and letting it "slip" that the party is going on without him or her. It's so contrived. I let it go because I think to respond would only fuel her nastiness toward me, but I can't get over the manipulation of it all. Personally, I don't care if I'm included in things, but don't lie to me about it and then brag that you lied! Just tell me you had plans together for that day.

    If it wasn't for the network of people we have in common, I'd blow her off altogether. I keep trying to make peace, but I can't deal with the tween-like behavior. It's just too easy for me to see through. When kids come to you with social problems, do you ever want to just tell them it will never end? There will always be people who choose to stay stuck playing games?
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I have no tolerance for sophomoric behavior from anyone over the age of 15!!!
     
  4. waterfall

    waterfall Virtuoso

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    Haha, yes I do! I have a girl on my caseload with an emotional disability. When she gets in a fight with a friend, we're working on using "I statements" and realizing what she can and can't control. She always wants to say "I would tell the teacher/my mom, etc." I always tell her that even at my age there are people that aren't nice friends or there are people that do the same things her classmates are currrently doing. I try to get her to see she will need these skills long after telling teacher/mom is an option!

    If I were you I'd give up on the "friend." Doesn't sound like someone I'd want to spend my time with!
     
  5. TeacherApr

    TeacherApr Groupie

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    This sounds almost exactly like a co-worker/"friend" of mine except she's not 40, she's in her upper 20's but still. I ended up blowing up at her telling her to grow up. Oops...oh well, had to be said.
     
  6. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    I thought this thread was going to be about grown men who watch cartoons.
     
  7. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I have ZERO tolerance for immature adults. My BF's dad is like a big kid & my BF will say that too. That's part of why his (BF's) parents are divorced.
     
  8. msmullenjr

    msmullenjr Devotee

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    What about grown women who watch cartoons?
     
  9. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    I think because I see my 4th graders work so hard at getting past petty differences, it's hard to accept adults who aren't able to. My kids know they don't have to like everyone they work with, they just have to treat them with respect. The Golden Rule is on my wall and we make it part of our daily life. No matter what religion you are, treating others the way you want to be treated is a great way to live.
     
  10. EdEd

    EdEd Aficionado

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    I make all of my acquaintances take social skills training classes and pass the final exam before I officially grant them friendship status. It really is a great way to meet people.
     
  11. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    There's a great deal of wisdom in cartoons, Sarge, no?
     
  12. jen12

    jen12 Devotee

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    Haha...sounds like a good way to make some extra money over the summer!
     
  13. EdEd

    EdEd Aficionado

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    Indeed!
     
  14. Special-t

    Special-t Enthusiast

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    Mar 21, 2011

    Grown-up mean people are not immature - they are just mean.
     
  15. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    How about when people who have a disagreement go behind the other's back to a higher up? It's akin to 'I'm telling mom on you!' instead of just working it out or ignoring what really doesn't matter much.:dizzy:
     
  16. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    Ahhh, Cza, this drives me NUTS. I have two staff members who are team teachers. They send me ranting emails wanting to tattle on the rest of the teachers for leaving messes around. Really? They want me to address the most minor issues...drives me nuts.
     
  17. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Ah, yes, the old "I'm gonna tell your MOTHER!" trick. It never gets old. And apparently, neither do they.
     
  18. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    ...and I'm sure you handle it professionally...makes me crazy...it's backstabbing but those same people are so vocal if they even think there is a hint of someone else doing the same!:dizzy:
     
  19. jen12

    jen12 Devotee

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    Oh...I used to work at a company where that was the "required" procedure! I'm not kidding. If people had a beef, they'd send an email to the person who they had a problem with, cc their own supervisor and manager, along with the other person's supervisor and manager, and hte HR department (which was me)! It drove me nuts, and sent me right back to substitute teaching since it was basically the same mentality!
     
  20. jen12

    jen12 Devotee

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    Good point.
     
  21. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Mar 22, 2011

    Do they also stick out their tongues and say "nyah nyah nyah nyah"???:lol:

    These are adults we're talking about, right? Gotta wonder how they function in their "real lives" outside of school.
     
  22. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Mar 23, 2011

    Makes you wonder how interesting their real lives are when they have to create drama....:dizzy:
     
  23. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    And how about the ones who create more drama by "tattling" on their teammates or peers because "they are concerned about the poor kids". That excuse always really gets to me.
     
  24. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    My governor has tried that one...:dizzy:
     
  25. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    Sounds like my department. So I stopped eating lunch with them. Now it's like I personally insulted them. They interrogate me about why I didn't eat with them every day. But it's ok - I am sooo much happier.
     

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