P'd Beyond Belief

Today, I had a former student come crying into my classroom because she was picked on by her government teacher. They do debates every Friday and today's was gay marriage. She feels strongly in favor for it. When she was done reading her opening statement, her teacher apparently said, "Make note of that class from someone who's a lesbian, we'll contrast it with the opinion of a straight person."

I cannot tell you the fury I felt as she told me she's been dealing with it for years.

I immediately sought out the teacher, yelled and told my dept. chair of the incident.

The teacher told me to relax and not blow things out of proportion--she thought she was out and ready to talk about it and she wanted to use it as a learning tool for different viewpoints. I responded by saying she's unprofessional and a few other colorful terms.

How can a teacher who has a master's degree be so friggin stupid!?!?!

(This teacher has "messed up" a few times this year, but has gotten off easy because it's her first year and has already threatened racial injustice for being a black female so I'm interested in seeing how this gets handled.)

 

If that is the story, then this person has no tact and little understanding of sexual orientation issues.

Never, not even unwittingly, out a student in front of others.

 

Even if the student IS out, that is no excuse. It would be like having a school board meeting and pointing to the teacher in question, saying, "Oh good, we can get the opinion of an African American AND a woman in one shot before hearing from a white man." That teacher would be extremely offended, but that's only a slight variation of what she pulled.

I hope you help this young lady make a formal complaint to administration. My blood is boiling.

 

I wasn't there & I'm offended for your former student. What teacher in their right mind would do this to a student!!! You don't have to be part of the gay community to support their right to marriage.

Being that she's African American... seems just odd that she would be so cruel to someone else!!! (Not that other people aren't cruel).


Please let us know how this is handled like you said it will be interesting!!!

 

Wow, how incredibly stupid!

 

I am speechless (which is quite difficult).

 

Please do tell what comes of this. That would absolutely infuriate me. I've had this discussion in my government classes each semester, and there would often be students who were even fairly openly gay, argue their points. But I would never in my wildest dreams even consider making a point of a student's sexual orientation in class. If I were the parent of this student, I would be out for blood...

 

It would be such poetic justice if the school board or P could do something like that and - since this woman set the precedent - she would have no basis for a complaint. Since she obviously thinks this is an acceptable practice, it should be just fine for someone to do the same to her.

Oh well, I can dream.

Shifting back to reality, I'm at a loss to fully express how incredibly ignorant, insensitive and unprofessional she was.

 

OH, there are lots and lots and lots of idiots in front of classrooms. There's one in my daughter's class.

Good for you for standing up to the idiocy!!

 

Wow, like MrsC, I'm utterly speachless...and I'm NEVER at a loss for words.

 

I've butted heads with this particular teacher a lot this year. We've gotten in heated debates over her choice of teaching. She's described herself as being more in tune with the students by choosing to use their slang and talk about drinking and so forth. I said she has a degree and should use it... but, clearly, she didn't follow that.

I called the girl's parents during the school day before telling my dept. chair and guidance dept. I've taught both daughters and have gotten along well with their family so I felt heartbroken having to describe the situation. After talking with them and urging them to go straight to the district officials, I went to the teacher--who was off--and let her have it.

I then typed up a letter and personally delivered it to the district office and also emailed the same letter to every district official, principal, my union rep., and the entire guidance staff.

I know I went against protocal, but I told her parents to threaten suing if the district doesn't fire her. She doesn't have tenure and has a history of this bull *****.

Hours later, I'm still furious. In today's world, this should never have happend. In fact, I'm betting no teacher with a brain would ever allow a student's sexuality enter into the discussion at any time in history.

 

I think you may have overstepped your bounds. IMO, you should have left contacting parents and any lawsuit advice up to the admin.

 

I know I did, but I merely suggested they throw that term around if the district doesn't do what it should do--which is protect its students. I'm tired of seeing students get hurt because this nitwit feels shes more "in tune."

(And, by now, I do consider them friends of mine--and I would have given the same advice had they been other friends of mine in a different district.)

Unfortunately, it seems like nothing gets done unless the fear of looking bad is established--which would certainly be the case here.

 

This goes beyond inexperience; it's gross stupidity and insensitivity.

 

If anyone treated either of my children that way, I would hope that someone would stand up for them and let me know about it.

 

Absolutely, You did the right thing Soccer Dad.

 

I'm so glad you're unafraid to be an advocate.

 

I got a reply from the Superintendent. I can't get into specifics, but basically: We're looking into it, thanks for your effort in trying to help the student, but please stay out of it now that we're involved.

 

Yeah, while I agree that your original argument was on target, I feel strongly that you majorly overstepped your bounds. Your response lacked loyalty to your school, to your administrator, and to being a team player (I know you don't want to be a team player with that teacher but what about the rest of your department/school team, etc.?)

 

Hopefully, the superintendent and school board will realize the depth of injustice done to the student and have the cajones to cut the teacher off when she tries to play the race card. This isn't about race - this is about gross ignorance and unprofessional actions by the teacher. Skin color doesn't enter the equation and she should get the same punishment any other first year teacher would get for doing this.

It is NOT a teachers place to "out" a gay student, despite how well (s)he might THINK they know the situation. It simply is not her place to do that.

Her act was not only insulting and humiliating to the student, it was also highly prejudiced.

I also hope the super and SoE will recognize your actions were driven solely by your passion to protect the students of the school. I agree you should probably back off some now and see how it is handled. Keep us posted on what happens.

 

I have to disagree strongly. I resisted the urge to tell the parents about the teacher's previous problems as they are confidential and I'm not even supposed to know them to begin with. I informed every higher up in my district of the incident and detailed everything that was said and in a situation like this, anything and everything they are told is important. My department is outraged. My dept. chair called the girl's parents and told them he'd get her schedule switched. Now, let's face it. That's the LEAST they can do. This girl has been a great member of our school and she's well liked by EVERYONE in my department that has had the opportunity to teach her.

When I taught her, my youngest son was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes and I was out a lot as he fell terribly ill. The girl took up a collection fund to send to JDRF in our name, and got tons of my students to participate in a walk for juvenile diabetes--all without my knowledge.

It would be disloyal on my part as a teacher, a parent and as a person to let this go without trying to help.

 

Tiffany, I normally agree with you, but not here.

Our first loyalty should NOT be to bad team members, it should be to the kids.

This is no minor issue. The teacher was wrong, and the student was hurt as a result.

Loyalty to our schools is one thing. Blind loyalty to those who do wrong to kids is another.

 

And Tiffany, the sad truth is that my district, like many others, won't consider something serious until its reputation is at stake. God forbid we look bad in the newspaper; therefore, I said to first say, "We really would like to handle this without lawyers but are prepared to do whatever is necessary to make sure this doesn't happen ever again--clearly, this teacher shouldn't be looking after children and we want to make sure she's held accountable."

 

In my school you may have lost your job for that maneuver. I'm glad you stood up for the kid. Just be aware that actions such as that can come with a high price. There may have been better ways to go about it.

Having said that, I do also work at a place that seems to do nothing until the outside threatens them. So I do know the frustration with that.

 

I am not trying to be disrespectful to Soccer Dad or to Alice. I truly do support the argument and feel the teacher was in the wrong.

However, Soccer Dad, you stated that you went "straight to the teacher and yelled", then stated you "called the girl's parents during the school day before telling your dept. chair and guidance dept."

You then stated that you "told her parents to threaten suing if the district doesn't fire her."

I'm sorry but your high level of anger and frustration doesn't help this situation. The teacher was wrong and it appears that you lack the faith that the school will handle it appropriately, and maybe rightly so (probably due to past experiences, etc).

Nonetheless, I don't agree that you handled the situation properly. If you were at my school, I would want to view you as a problem solver who can rationally advocate for children but your actions in this event would make that difficult, even though well intended.

 

Unfortunately, my dept. chair was in Albany and unreachable until about 5 pm when I got a call back. Additionally, the guidance dept. was doing a PD session during that time. However, I cannot say that I wouldn't have done the same thing even had both been avaliable at that exact moment. I wasn't about to have the girl cry in my room as I go across the school to reach the guidance dept. She began calling her parents when she choked up and handed me the phone, I told them I would call them back on the school phone. Minutes later, I called back and explained to them what had happened. Her mother immediately came up to get her daughter. She requested to speak to me so I greeted her in my room after she signed in (this is all according to protocal). I gave her a more detailed description of what happened. She then asked what should be done. I said the first thing was to reach the district officials and to write an email to them as well. I then told them I would be sending my own email to the officials and that I would be stopping by the district office to drop off a letter concerning the incident. During our meeting, a coworker came in and immediately recognized her mother. The mother asked what to do if the district didn't take it seriously given certain circumstances. I said that in a case like this it's sometimes needed to play "tough guy." I suggested that if she didn't like the response of the district, she should casually throw in "lawyers" and see how they then respond.

Yes, it is unprofessional to yell at a coworker. However, I will clarify--I raised my voice. I certainly wasn't talking loud enough for others to hear, but I was talking louder than normal.

And you're right, I did let my emotions influence my actions. But when you have a student suffering with their sexuality in your classroom crying hysterically because your coworker is an ignorant fool who has made similar mistakes earlier in the year and THEN has the nerve to say "don't blow things out of proportion," emotions play a role.

I respect your opinion that I handled things wrong, but I wouldn't change a thing. In fact, in my reply letter back to my superintendent, I informed him that I did meet with the mother and I included a summary of the conversation.

 

The teacher in me agrees in going through channels. In my building, there's always an administrator available, so it wouldn't be an issue. In fact, such actions in my building would get you fired-- there's no real tenure.

BUT-- the mom in me applauds Soccer Dad for standing up for a child who needed defense. I've had it with teachers abusing their authority at the expense of the kids they're supposed to be teaching.

Yeah, it's been a rough week in my house.

 

Well, you certainly didn't owe me an explanation but your more detailed account of the circumstances/events make much more sense....so thanks for taking the time to explain it more clearly.

For what its worth, if you don't mind me making a suggestion, remember that as you go through this process of reporting the incident, filing a complaint, working with school officials as well as the family, etc., etc., that the calmer you are, the more your argument will be taken at face value and heard.

Sometimes it is very difficult to remain calm when we are passionate about something. However, each and every time that I've seen a person who is in the right become so worked up that they struggle to remain calm, the true issue gets lost and the focus drifts away from the real villain and the real injustice.

 

Alice, sounds like your "mom" angle has been amplified even further by an issue that's been compounding all year and you've finally reached your limit. So sorry.

 

I completely agree with you. My correspondence with my officials was polite, direct and to the point. I left out my opinion on the matter and other emotional "ploys." And when I am summoned to talk to them, which I imagine I will be, I'll be calm.

But, at the beginning of this year, this teacher made several students upset by saying the War in Iraq was simply to protect American business and oil stakes. Unbeknownst to her at the time, they had relatives, including parents, serving in Iraq. Regardless of someone's feelings on the War, a teacher should NEVER allow their opinion to be known.

(Oh, and it's never a good idea to refer to the last president as a "buffoon," which she also did.)

When the district was alerted of this, they took no real action. The district wanted her to apologize for both comments. She refused saying the district was trying to make her more in line with "white society." In the end, NOTHING was done other than switching some students out of the class.

Then, during midterm week, students overheard her saying that we were a "lilly white school district" with no diversity. Again, students took offense but nothing was done.

After remembering these prior isntances, I made the decision to tell her to mention getting lawyers involved--something her husband was already looking into.

 

Okay, you are right. Good luck.

 

That is terrible! Things like this make me question people's motivation for teaching, how can she think this is ok?

 

Wait, she also inserted her own personal political beliefs? Is she INSANE?!?

 

... yes.

 

Admittedly... I reached my limit on about Thursday night.

Thanks for the good wishes!

And Thank God for administrations like mine!!!

Soccer Dad, who knows? We DO have a history teacher retiring....

 

OK, I'm gonna be the sh--disturber here...from everything you've told us about this teacher, she may be very insensitive and way too blunt (by the way, has anyone corroborated what the student says that the teacher said?)...but, for example, one of the reasons we ARE in Iraq is to protect American interests - that's a fact, not just her opinion. I'm not sure I see what's wrong with her stating that fact, and why it should be so upsetting to kids who have relatives in the military. People who are in the military go where they are sent, for whatever reasons the government decides to send them, including protecting US interests abroad. So I can see that someone needs to sit this teacher down and let her know that outing a gay student is not appropriate, and that she may need to think before she presents her opinions...but to sue her? Fire her? Transfer her? Seems to me that that is overreacting...(I type, ducking whatever is about to be thrown! (smile!))

 

When a teacher continuously makes students feel uncomfortable, something must be done. Anyway, you can unduck.

Update: The teacher was in school today up till about 5th period. Then, she was called over to the district office. There's news circulating that the district's lawyers are actually involved, but this is pure rumor from what I can tell.

 

"When a teacher continuously makes students feel uncomfortable, something must be done."
I absolutely agree... (and thanks for the "unduck" (grin!))

 

I actually agree with Cindy; I don't think that what this teacher did warrants her losing her career, getting sued, and forced to a fate of bagging groceries at Wal Mart. I believe that this teacher should carry herself better and express her ideas better, but it all seems harsh. I understand that the OP is passinate about his feelings toward this woman, but I sense a lot of viciousness and anger in his posts. Also, how do we know that the teacher didn't know that this student was already out? Maybe she didn't "out" her on purpose. Also, teachers bring up students' sexuality all the time; I've seen and heard teachers kidding around with students about "daydreaming about boys" and being a "ladies man." Of course these don't equate with someone "outing" someone, but it seems that sexuality is never an issue when the people are straight. Just my

 

Will the student or her family file a complaint? This could be sexual harassment.