Paying for daycare

Discussion in 'General Education Archives' started by Grammy Teacher, Apr 10, 2006.

  1. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Kinder has showed empathy for many in the past...but we are not talking about the past posts or threads. We are talking about this one now.
    Also, it's wonderful that you and your husband are living proof of a stronger relationship. However, we are discussing the families who are not able to afford the high cost of child care...and are doing all that they can to make ends meet...what can be done for them?
     
  2. GlendaLL

    GlendaLL Aficionado

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    Apr 11, 2006

    It was great here today - sunny, breezy, and in the 70 degrees! Tomorrow it will be cooler and rainy. But, on Thursday it will be another great day! Oh, we are on Spring Break!
     
  3. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Viola, you have a heart of gold. I can tell.
     
  4. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    opps..I forgot any "idiot" can copy and paste.

    Interesting...
     
  5. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    What do families do when they can't afford daycare? They do what they have to do. Around here, for many, that means an individual in their home babysitting, or family. I live and teach in a very rural area. There is no daycare center in my town, just private homes that take in kids. What many families are doing is having the parents do split shifts, for example, a friend of mine is a nurse who works the night shift and her husband works days. One of them is always there for the kids. Also, I don't know how it is in other areas, but here, in my area there are very few families who qualify for assistance with daycare unless the parents don't work. If there is even one paycheck coming in, they are usually above that very low line.
     
  6. ViolaSwamp

    ViolaSwamp Habitué

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    :eek:
    I don't know about that. I just know how lucky I was to have my momma at home. When I got sick at school I knew the secretary could call her and she would be able to come pick me up. Your article shows that our expectations are rising beyond our income. Someone I knew said something very similar just a few months back. She said they actually had two bathrooms in their house but that was above average. Now it's considered crazy to only have one. Just a note all six of us (2 adults, 4 'kids') still share one bathroom when we go home at Christmas--I guess we'll never be able to get married and have kids. It would be way too crowded:D Think about how often people get newer cars. I had a friend get a new car because hers was leaking oil. Hey folks they still run just fine. You just go through more oil is all. Once you own the car it's still cheaper to make a few hundred dollars in repairs once or twice a year than to pay higher insurance and make car payments. Think about how we get new clothes because we are tired of looking at our old ones, they don't usually have holes in them when we give them away. How often do you wear something with a patch, I know I never do. I'm just sick of our societal expectations. It's out of control because of all of this annoying advertising telling us we need to have this or that. There is something wrong with us if we don't have a vacation every year...blah blah. Don't even get me started on the consumer waste-:D ha ha.
     
  7. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    I was a stay at home mom Viola. Man were we poor.Things have changed now with households needing two incomes just to pay their housing.
    Christy, around here people are in need of quality and affordable childcare for in their homes. The private in home daycares charge more than the larger facilities. The only people who have "baby sitters" around here are the very wealthy who hire nannys. I do know of a few families who work opposite shifts. It would be great if that was always an option. Thanks for your replies. I can appreciate your little town life style! Child care is big business around here.
     
  8. Play to Learn

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    My husband and I have had our hard times. Money problems and our relationship. I believe if you want your marriage to work it will. It can not be all sunshine. My husband gave me roses last yr for my birthday. The card said it all. "If you want to see a rainbow, you have to with stand a little rain" I cried, He and I were separated for over a yr. I lived in WV and he was in FL. We had two children at this time, now three. Anyways we were fateful even during this time. We took a break to see if divorce was really what we wanted, and decided no we would fight for our marriage. We are so glad we did. We have not had it so great, we have the worst luck. I am not afraid to admit we are in debt. I wish we were not, but we are. I am doing as Viola suggested. Because of the price of child care, I will soon be quitting my job to stay home and care for our children. I am their mother and I feel it is my place It is not what I want for my life for now it will do. Luckily I know children and can do in Home childcare. I do plan to also use this time to attend college in the evenings to better myself. Then once my baby is in school maybe I will be able to go and get a better paying job in my field, and be happy. But for now, I am mom and top priority are my children. I think there is no right answer to this question, everyone will see this differently. One would do it one way and one would do it another. There is no right answer and there is no wrong answer, so lets lighten up on each other. We are all just trying to help, by giving our thoughts. ((((((((HUGS for everyone))))))))))
     
  9. ViolaSwamp

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    Play TL that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard! That will be a story to tell the kids and the grandkids someday. I'm so glad you're making it work!

    Oh some more reasons to stay at home...
    I forgot a few things besides the expenses for the car, insurance and quick meals...cost of gas driving to work, professional clothing and sometimes dry cleaning of those clothes.
     
  10. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Adoption needs to be considered more often these days. If you have children, you take care of them. Period! If you can't, you should love them enough to give them to a family who can- and not just foisted off on grandma and grandpa!
     
  11. ViolaSwamp

    ViolaSwamp Habitué

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    Oh my! What if the financial troubles don't come until a second child comes along? Do you send away the second child, the first, both? Either way the first born will wonder why and worry that they did something wrong or could do something wrong to get sent away too. Then you've got emotional issues to deal with in the future. Sometimes babies are surprises. After all everyone knows a responsible family that conceived despite being on the pill (or some other method). I'm all for abstinence--but I don't think married people should have to be abstinent if they are being careful!:D

    You know that if people waited until they were ready (financially or otherwise) to have kids no one could ever have kids.
     
  12. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Apr 12, 2006

    Grammy, the inhouse babysitters around here are definitely not more expensive than daycare. Often times it's a retired woman looking to supplement her income a little.
     
  13. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

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    Childcare is expensive. In most families that I know with young children, childcare is pretty much one income. So- don't work. Or work separate shifts. Cut corners, buy clothes at yardsales, buy cheap food on sale. If you can't afford housing, move to an area where the cost of living is cheaper. It is possible. When I was a baby, my parents ate roadkill if they wanted meat, but we all turned out fine. Some of you might get mad at me for saying this. But if you chose to have the children, then you have to learn an important lesson. Life is hard, and you can't expect a handout.
     
  14. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

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    When I set my rates for nannying or babysitting, I call local daycares and make sure I'm cheaper. I know it's hard for parents, and I don't want to overcharge them. Not all babysitters or home daycares are more expensive than centers.
     
  15. JenPooh

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    I agree with Christy, you have to do what you have to do to make ends meet. A family can still remain strong when working two jobs. We can't all have our cake and eat it too.

    I also agree with Beth, I have a parent right now who qualifies for lots of housing assitance money, but her daycare was taken away for two weeks because she was unemployed...so it's not true about not qualifying for housing if you can't qualify for daycare. They are two totally seperate programs with different policies and procedures.

    Danny, I think you pointed out an important fact and I am not in the least mad at your post. It was well said.
     
  16. JenPooh

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    Maybe for women who get pregnant who are not married or not planning on marrying, but for married couples? Maybe that's what you meant instead, but I would never give up a child of mine...it wouldn't seem moral or right.
     
  17. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    No...I meant if you have a child you cannot take care of, you give that child to a home where they will not be neglected! Why is giving a child a decent life a bad thing?? I'm not saying people who are just having trouble paying for daycare should give up their children- people who don't buy their children dinner, more than one shirt to wear, or have so many children they don't bother to spend any time with any of them are the ones who need to put a child's needs first.

    I know a woman who has eight children, is married, and just pops them out and hands them off to grandmother. Should that woman give her children up for adoption? Absolutely! The grandmother also has six or seven kids from her other children to take care of. Just how well can a woman in her late sixties take care of fourteen plus children? In my opinion, what the "mother" is doing is immoral and definitely not right.
     
  18. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    In our area, it is very difficult to find "Safe" and affordable child care. There are very few decent inhome centers . Grandparents are not available to help out because they are also working. I know several people who lived in the low income housing . They eventually were able to buy a modest home. Soon after , they became pregnant with their second child. One parent received a small raise that pushed them over the income limits for child care assistance...$50.00 over. They had been paying $50.00/weekly to their daycare and the remainder was paid by the program. Now they found themselves having to pay $180.00/week.
     
  19. JenPooh

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    So, if there is no food on the table let's say a mom adopts her child out. Is there a guarantee that the child wont go to an abusive home? What would be worse? You can never be certain. What if people are just having hard times and then they get back on their feet? Wouldn't you as a mother feel aweful!? I just can't stand the thought of it and would never do it, even if I had eight kids.
     
  20. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    I'd feel worse if I let my child starve.
     
  21. Grammy Teacher

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    When I was very young, I had a child...a little girl. I was not married and the father was not reliable. My parents did not and would not raise the child and would not let me live at home and raise it. So, I felt forced to put my baby girl up for adoption through Catholic charities. I have never regretted anything in my life as much as that.
    By the way, this has nothing to do with this thread...but felt compelled to tell my experience about adoption.
     
  22. Beth2004

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    I'm glad that you were happy with your decision, Grammy. I'm sure the little girl was sent to a wonderful home. Adoption can really be a wonderful thing for people.
     
  23. Grammy Teacher

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    Thank you, Beth, but actually it was not what I wanted to do. At the time, I felt forced to do it so that she would have both a father and a mother to raise her. Back then there was also a certain stigma associated with having a child out of wedlock. A day never went by that I didn't think of her. So, it is not a decision to tell others they should or should not make.
     
  24. JenPooh

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    That is very touching Grammy, it really is. My aunt went through the same thing. She later found her daughter and they met. She was not married either. It is something that someone either can or can not do, there is no in between in my opinion. For me, I could not, but for others I give them much credit. For me, these days I just could not trust anyone.

    On a side note, if someone is in need of food, that is what food pantries are for. There are many programs that people do not know about and having a mom in my program on welfare, I am finding more of them.
     
  25. Grammy Teacher

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    It's what I was told to do...not what I wanted to do, so when I hear the word adoption, I cringe.
    Anyway, getting back on subject here, I feel sorry for the kids that I have seen pulled out of daycare(where I work) because their parents can't pay the higher amount anymore. The kids end up at some relative's house or maybe a neighbors and there is little or no structure to their day(as far as teaching them anything." I don't know anyone in the area who "baby sits" and is worth a plug nickel.
     
  26. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Childcare is expensive, without a doubt. We had three kids within 4 and a half years...for a period of time, we had three kids in childcare and the cost was $490 a week. We both make good livings, but, even so, that was a struggle for us. We literally could not pay all of our bills and the daycare bill at the same time. (The third child was not planned. We had planned on three, but we'd planned on waiting until child #2 was in school fulltime because of the daycare costs).

    So, what did we do? First, I picked up two kids to tutor, at $30 an hour. That was an extra $240 a month in income. Also, we cut out ALL extras. We cancelled cable, the newspaper subscription, all magazine subscriptions, our cell phone service, our internet service. We used coupons like mad. We didn't see the inside of a restaurant, even a fast food place, for a good two years. We stopped picking up our daily coffee at the convenience stores. We started packing our own lunches at home, and when it came to grocery shopping, we shopped the cheapest stores and bought no pre-made, or individually packaged stuff. At holidays and birthdays, we didn't exchange presents with each other, only with the children, and those were limited. The children's clothing came from consignment (at least 90% did). We went on no family trips. It's amazing how happily you can live with almost nothing. I think that many families today, of all economic means, have expectations of what we "need" that aren't always true. I don't know how many people I've met who think I'm nuts because we still don't have cable or cell phones. (yes, we did get internet when our money situation eased!).

    I'm not saying that these families you're discussing are living extravagently, but perhaps they should really, really look at how they are spending every cent and cut back whereever possible. We went from being about $175 short each month to being able to pay all of our bills and put at least $200 in savings each month.

    Regardless of how the absence of one parent affects the family, sometimes there is no other option. You gotta do what you gotta do. My tutoring took me out of the house two nights a week, and I also spent lots of extra time prepping for my tutoring kids, but, you know what - it was more important for me to provide for my family than to be with them at that point.

    Kim
     
  27. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I think this is why many people say it's like getting a raise when their children are out of daycare;).
     
  28. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Kim, you are living proof of what I was trying to say all along! You are a great role model for your children and others! :)
     
  29. Play to Learn

    Play to Learn Comrade

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    Grammy would you think of doing in home care for these children of low-income families? You could do great and later hire one more employees, maybe even open your own center. Maybe you could have them pay on a sliding fee scale according to their income. If good care is so much there. Your business would do very well there.
     
  30. Georgia Peach71

    Georgia Peach71 Rookie

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    I agree that you do what you have to do. A child will grow up with much better values and respect their parents more when they understand that their parents made sacrifices to take care of them. Get a second job, if that's what it takes. Children often follow their parent example. Which is better, seeing them work hard and long, or seeing them live off the government and taxpayers. Don't get me wrong, I realize that some people do need help, and I certainly don't want to see children suffer, but the responsibility rests with the parents.
     
  31. Play to Learn

    Play to Learn Comrade

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    My mother worked three jobs at one time, in order to stay off of welfare and care for me and my two sisters. we went through some hard times. I was the youngest, Keep in mind my mom inspected Child care homes for the state this was her fulltime job. Well the provider my mom put us with was very mean to me. She would lock me in the bedroom and would not let me play with any of her children's toys. I told my mom over and over and finally she let me go back to another provider (my moms best friend)I had before this one. My mom knew this provider at least she thought. My mom never fully believed me until I got older, because everyone had raved about how good a provider she was. I believe if you can stay home and work out of the house, do it. I am very proud of my mom, she raised three girls well without my dad around or any money from him. But we had alot of issues in our house. And because of that. Everyday I ask my kids how was your day, I try and go on as many field trips as I can. They are hugged and Kissed every night and told how much they are loved. See I didnt have all that, my mom was working. Like I said before there are so many opinions on this, there is no right or wrong answer.
     
  32. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I am not speaking for Grammy, but just wanted to add something about this. I have one W2 parent. She is very sweet, and I have grown close to her and her daughter. However, being that she is on the childcare program, the income is very unstable. Not meaning, because she is on w2 she in unstable, but the program itself is never the same all the time. I always get what I charge, but because they are always changing their rates, it is a pain and a hassle. I am constantly having her sign a new agreement, etc. It becomes irritating. Plus, because of the checks coming from the welfare office, I really never know when they checks are coming in the mail.

    So, unless a providers income doesn't mean that much to your household, having all W2 children is not worth it unless your primary goal is to help people out and not make money, which usually is not the case. Also, W2 programs pay less for family childcare than they do for group centers, so for the families, it's not all that worth it. At least that is how it is in WI.
     
  33. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Just got this on emai and thought it would apply to the conversation:

    The Price of Children


    The Price of Children

    This is just too good not to pass on. It’s something that’s absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice! Enjoy . . .

    The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.

    But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:

    *$8,896.66 a year,

    * $741.38 a month, or

    * $171.08 a week.

    * That's a mere $24.24 a day!

    * Just over a dollar an hour.

    Still, you might think the best financial advice is not to have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite!

    What do you get for your $160,140?

    * Naming rights. First, middle, and last!

    * Glimpses of God every day.

    * Giggles under the covers every night.

    * More love than your heart can hold.

    * Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.

    * Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.

    * A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.

    * A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites

    * Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said today about how your stocks performed that day.

    For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:

    * finger-paint,

    * carve pumpkins,

    * play hide-and-seek,

    * catch lightning bugs, and

    * never stop believing in Santa Claus.

    You have an excuse to:

    * keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,

    * watching Saturday morning cartoons,

    * going to Disney movies, and

    * wishing on stars.

    * You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

    For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:

    * retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,

    * taking the training wheels off a bike,

    * removing a splinter,

    * filling a wading pool,

    * coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

    You get a front row seat to witness the:

    * first step,

    * first word,

    * first bra,

    * first date, and

    * first time behind the wheel.

    You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God.

    You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, So . . one day they will like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!

    Love & enjoy your children & grandchildren!!!!!!!
     
  34. hanvan

    hanvan Connoisseur

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    Kim,
    I think that was wonderful what you did for your family. So many people think they NEED all of those things (I bet my husband is one-he would die without espn) I would do the same if I had to and who knows maybe some day I will :) Its good to know there are people like you still out there!
     
  35. selem

    selem Rookie

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    Apr 18, 2006

    But sometimes they don't "choose" to have the children. Sometimes the children just show up no matter how much birth control, depo provera, or any other precautions that you might take.
     
  36. selem

    selem Rookie

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    What if you can't get a second job? A lot of employers in the backwater I live will NOT work with you. Even working at a convenience store you are expendable. If you take off too much to watch your kids they will just fire you and call up the one who is next in line. "Sorry!" They say. "Not my problem!" And what if you don't "choose" the kids? What if the kids "choose" you? You can put them up for adoption but then people pass judgment on you. They would say that you are irresponsible, etc.
     
  37. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    selem, As suggested by other posters, perhaps you could work 3 jobs or your husband could work at least 2. It doesn't matter if their dad is not home at night. You should both work at least 2 jobs if that's what it takes to pay your daycare. It's all about making money and showing how hard you can work to pay your own way...hard work, hard work and if you can't pay for daycare, you could give your children up for adoption or better yet, don't have any. Another thing you can do is eat roadkill and I might add that maybe these same people might think you should go fishing...or you could find food behind restaurants in the dumpsters...ANYTHING to avoid expecting help with your daycare bill...what a tragedy that would be...to expect help so that your child can attend a safe and daycare and you could continue to go to your job with peace of mind. Oh..I forgot to mention that you might as well forget going on any vacations with the kids or ever taking the kids for ice cream or Chuckie Cheese, or doing ANYTHING that costs money...because it is of utmost importance that you pay the entire daycare bill yourself...so that your kids can be impressed by your sacrifices and hard work.
     
  38. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I agree! There is a big difference between need and want, and many people don't get it.
     
  39. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Apr 18, 2006

    Grammy I don't think anyone is suggesting going to those extremes. I think what most of the posts have said is, you do what you have to do. Yes, in a perfect world both parents would be home at night with the kids, but sometimes that just isn't feasible. My parents both worked their butts off so that we could have food and clothes (and we didn't care that they were second/third hand clothes). We did go fishing, all the time, for fun. We camped. Our "big" trip each summer was to a town an hour down the road. We would get a motel room and swim in the pool for a day. We were happy. We didn't expect or want for anything. It wasn't until I was an adult that someone put the label of "poor" on my family. I disagree. We weren't poor.
    As for assistance, it's not offered here. I know MANY families it would help if it was.
    Selem, my best advice would be to see where you could cut some corners in your house, for fun with the kids, there many many things that cost (go to the park, do go fishing, go for bike rides, etc). I don't love my parents any less because they weren't there 24/7. Your kids know that you are doing what you have to for the family to survive. Check to see what type of assistance is out there (food stamps, WIC, etc). There's nothing wrong with taking help where it's offered. Good luck!!!
     
  40. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Apr 18, 2006

    My husband and I have yet to take our honeymoon. I'm not complaining about it. There is more to life than the extras. We are healthy, happy, and together and that is what matters.

    Our local park and rec. has many free activities during the summer for kids. Salem, check to see if you town has something like that. Sometimes you just have to look for free fun, but it's out there. As far as your job, I would start to search for another one that may be willing to work with you more. You just have to keep looking. There ARE employers who care as long as you don't take advantage of them, you just have to search.
     

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