Parents

Discussion in 'Kindergarten' started by mrachelle87, Aug 29, 2007.

  1. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Aug 29, 2007

    OK, here is one for you. We have about ten parents who take turns driving around our school to "observe" the teachers on recess duty. They complain about everything. Today I had a child tell me that his mother parked a half block away and watched us. Sure enough at afternoon recess there she was. I waved at her and she left. I am not sure if she has been there all week or not. The sad thing is that this is not the only parent. We had one yesterday pull into the parking lot and yell at the children for "being mean to her baby." This is happening at all different grade level recesses, not just ours. Does anyone else have parents like this? Each morning we have probably 25 to 30 parents walk their children into the building and wait with them for class. There are a few that follow them all the way to their classroom doors. It is hard to get your class to walk in a straight quiet line to class when they are being waved at and talked to by their friends parents. :confused:
     
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  3. azteacher3

    azteacher3 Companion

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    Wow, I'm sorry! The parents at my school are no where near as involved as yours. However we did start something this year that might help. For security purposes, we do not allow any parents into the hallway/building unless they have signed in at the office. The kids say goodbye to them outside in line in the morning and then the parents may not follow their child into the building. We have the principle backing us up so if any of them have problems with it they can go talk to him. They have to pick up their child outside at the end of the day too.
     
  4. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    We make them sign in if they are in the building. They wait in line and that still doesn't discourage them.
     
  5. azteacher3

    azteacher3 Companion

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    Our assistant principle stands by the door and won't let them in. I hope this gets better for you! I would hate to feel like I'm being "watched" all day.
     
  6. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I want to wrap black paper around the fence so they can't see the playground!!!!! Just a thought.
     
  7. azteacher3

    azteacher3 Companion

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    lol. That would make them happy! Then they'd really think something was going on!
     
  8. ecsmom

    ecsmom Habitué

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    We have a big block wall around our playground.:lol:
     
  9. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Aug 29, 2007

    I suggest your principal becomes proactive and holds a parent meeting. There must be a reason these parents are feeling so nervous and he/she should find out why.
     
  10. teach2heart

    teach2heart Rookie

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    Aug 30, 2007

    I had a mom last year who could not separate from her son & would come and sit with her son during the first half-hour of class (during morning work) because she was concerned he couldn't focus. Then she would "leave" and watch him through the window to make sure he was doing his work. I came in about a month or so into the school year as a long-term sub so it was difficult to change the routine at that time. Looking back, I probably should have, but it was my first year! I know how you feel!!
     
  11. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I have taught two years and both years I have had one parent that can't separate themselves. My first year the parent went as far as having her child taken out of my room b/c she thought her child wouldn't benefit from a teacher with no experience. Last year, I had a parent that would walk her daughter to the room ALL YEAR LONG...she would want to discuss certain things...It only took my a couple of weeks to start telling her to come during my conference period or come after school.
     
  12. Mommateach

    Mommateach Rookie

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    Hi
    I agree with scmom. Maybe there is a reason that those parents are watching and waiting. The principal could hold a meeting to find out why.

    Last year at my son's school (K-3) the principal had meetings with the parent organization. The principal invited parents to volunteer at lunch/recess time. My husband and I took turns every couple of weeks. The school did have a long list of rules for recess, but only had two untrained lunch/recess supervisors to enforce those rules. As I observed lunch/recess I saw behavior of students that needed to be corrected. One kindergartner swore and pushed kids. I did correct him and sent him to the recess aide, but I wondered if that behavior was tolerated when I wasn't there. My son's teacher wondered why he would cry so much in class. Sometimes incidents that happened on the playground would spill over into class time. One day the teacher's aide told me my son had a rough day and had cried a lot. She thought it was because the class had a substitute teacher. A couple of days later I found out the reason why my son had a rough day. A fellow k student had threatened to kill my son and one of his friends. He took it very seriously and was very frightened. The principal knew about it because the child who threatened the kids was sent to her office, so it was taken care of, but that didn't stop my son from being scared. I had to talk to my son many times to let him know that he was safe at school and the teachers and supervisors would help him if he needed it.

    I think it is great that the parents care. My father has been a public school teacher for 36 years and he would always complain that there was not enough parental involvement. Some parents never came to conferences or responded to notes home or phone calls. They just didn't care. I am sure he had a few parents who were too involved also. Parents seem to have to walk a fine line. They need to care and stay involved, but not go overboard and do everything for their children.
     
  13. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Those parents have too much time on their hands and need to get a job or a life!

    Yikes! :woot:
     
  14. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    I sorry but I disagree Mommateach. Anytime I see someone in a car watching kids on the playground it makes me nervous. How do you know for sure that is a parent? If my child was on that playground and I was concerned about how he was being treated I would arrange to come and observe recess time or discuss my concerns with the teacher. I don't consider lurking from a car to be parental involvement. I can't imagine you would be able to get an accurate picture of what was happening anyway.
     
  15. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Mom showed up today and I confronted her. I asked her why she was stalking us. She thought I was kidding. I explained to her that her son was worried and constantly looking for her because he was afraid that he was doing something or playing with someone that she would not approve of. She told me that she only wanted to see if he was playing and if he had friends. I told her that her parking across the street and "standing guard" seemed to imply that she did not trust me and that he had stated to me and another teacher that his mom didn't think that he was safe. I invited her to sign in at the office and come to the playground with us or volunteer in our room. She promised not to "stalk" us anymore.
     
  16. Mommateach

    Mommateach Rookie

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    Aug 31, 2007

    mrachelle87-I'm glad you talked with the parent. I hope she doesn't lurk anymore, but instead volunteer.

    KinderCowgirl-I didn't mean that I thought people lurking in their cars and watching students on the playground was good parental involvement. Child predators are out there and I would be worried that someone watching kids could be one. I just meant that the parents should be talking to the principal or teachers about volunteering. Maybe that would alleviate some of the parents' fears and help out the school at the same time. I apologize if that's the way my post came off.
     
  17. letsteach

    letsteach Comrade

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    Aug 31, 2007

    Parents who lurk around after drop-off are known as the CPC (the Car Park Committee). They gossip, tittle-tattle and have too much time on their idle hands.

    At my children's school, parents walk their children to class, especially in the lower grades and friendships between mothers are formed. However, with my daughter's class, a clique of mothers formed. They would go to collect their children 15 to 20 minutes before school finished just to sit and gossip. I could stand next to them and they wouldn't say hello - huh, the manners of some!
     
  18. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    mrachelle87 - That sounds really creepy. I think I would feel really weird if I knew I was always being "watched" - especially since these parents seem to be on a witch hunt. I am glad you spoke to the mom and she agreed to stop.
     
  19. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    We have a 'community school' where all the parents are invited and encouraged to spend time in the school after they sign it at the office. We have parents in the hall way every morning and in the afternoon. I have to say it's mainly a problem at the start of the school year but in a few weeks, they start to trust that their child knows where to go and that they're being taken care of.
    We start the dya with community time and the parents are invited to stay. We do the pledge and sing songs. After a few weeks, the parents just stay for the community time then leave and our hallways are clear again.

    There's a huge difference between stalking and being involved.
     
  20. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Mommateach - no apology necessary!

    mrachelle87 - glad you talked to the parent and hopefully she will start backing off.

    I know most of these parents have good intentions and think they are doing the best thing for their kids. Our school policy is to drop off the kids in the cafeteria in the morning, parents aren't supposed to be in the halls. But of course they do it anyway and if one parent is doing it, suddenly I have 12 parents in my room.

    I had a child crying this week (first week back) and I asked the mom to just go that she would be fine and sure enough the mom walked out the door and the crying stopped like turning off a faucet. A few minutes later I went to close the door and the mom was still standing in the hall. I told her the child was fine and she said yes, she knew-- but she didn't move. I told her we would be going to the restroom soon and if her daughter saw her, she might start crying again, so she finally left. I know it's hard for them but they have to let go sometime.
     

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