Parents Who Make Their Own Rules

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by KinderCowgirl, May 12, 2009.

  1. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    May 12, 2009

    So I know I've been whining a lot here lately but a parent (and a co-worker really) did something that just eats my lunch!

    We planned a museum field trip -each teacher was allowed 5 chaperones, we reserved tickets, there was also an IMAX movie. I had my 5 parents signed up before permission slips even went out. Four other parents asked to go, I told them sorry, we don't have the tickets-even one who is a teacher at the school on a different grade level. I e-mailed my 4 colleagues to see if they had any spaces for parents, heard nothing back, assumed they were also full.

    A parent who really already hates me, walks in the day before the field trip to pay for her and her other son to go. I very politely explained the situation. She walked away. So why do we get to the museum today and she's there. The teacher next door to me (who she's really good friends with) told her she could go with her class and took her money before we left. So not only do I look like the bad guy for trying to follow the rules, is that fair to the other 4 parents I turned down when they even asked quite a bit before she did? I can't stand when people don't think they have to follow the rules! :|
     
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  3. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    May 12, 2009

    EEK... She should have talked to you. That is pretty bad.
     
  4. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Wow!
     
  5. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    May 12, 2009

    Ick. I have had parents show up at a field trip location and just assume they should join us. It's rather pushy and very distracting. This situation is just down right rude though...hang in there!
     
  6. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    You can't win them all and you can't make everyone happy. I hate this happened but parents can be pretty conniving.
     
  7. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    What is it about field trips? EEK! I'm always thinking 'why don't these people just take their kids to the museum/zoo/play/IMAX/what have you on their own time on the weekend? Why do they have to make a class trip a 'family event'?

    There should be a school policy regarding chaperones- ours must be pre-approved. A clear communication should go out from all the teachers on the grade level about how chaperones will be picked and explaining how there will be a LIMITED number of chaperones. We typically take our room parents first....pull out of a hat if more are needed...and truthfully I'm not all that 'random' when I pull the names out of the hat. :eek:
     
  8. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    I see more of a problem with the coworker doing what she did.
     
  9. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    ...all the more reason for a united front among colleagues and a school, or at least grade-level, policy about field trips. We actually have parents sign up to be room moms just so they can go on the trips...Hey, we're talking the zoo/apple picking/a museum, not an all-expenses paid trip to the Bahamas!!:dizzy: Nuts!:dizzy:
     
  10. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    May 13, 2009

    I know!!!!
     
  11. GoehringTeaches

    GoehringTeaches Comrade

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    May 13, 2009

    Atleast you have parents sign up for chaperones! That's more than I get!
     
  12. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    We had a trip last week that parents weren't allow to attend. It was a reward trip for reading. We had the whole place to ourself, with a guard, and teachers, aides, librarian, and the principal. We had parents upset that they couldn't go with their child. These are the same mothers that walk them in each day and won't leave. One even sent a cell phone --so her child could call in an emergency. These are 1st graders!!!!!
     
  13. blindteacher

    blindteacher Cohort

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    What can I say? There will always be those parents that think they expect V.I.P. treatment.
     
  14. cheeryteacher

    cheeryteacher Enthusiast

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    We have a reward trip at the end of the year for reading also. We actually have had parents of children who are not eligible for the trip keep their child at home and then bring them to the trip. Now if a parent tries that they get a visit from the truancy officer.
     
  15. silver rain

    silver rain Comrade

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    May 13, 2009

    Parents that chaperone field trips at our school MUST pass a background check. Upon hearing that news, many decide that they are unavailble.
     
  16. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    May 13, 2009

    Too bad all teachers don't think like you C...... :):)

    Major
     
  17. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    May 13, 2009


    If your help was signed up before permission slips went home, these other 4 parents didn't have a chance to volunteer. No offense intended, just trying to understand how things were done.
     
  18. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Becky - we knew we were planning one last field trip - so I let the parents know when we were in that stage - it was listed in the class newsletter that we had a trip coming up. Several parents told me to put them down to volunteer - that they would take off work regardless of what the date turned out to be. When the permission slips went home I let the parents know that I had 2 slots left and it would be first come first serve. One parent texted me that afternoon to secure her position.

    Actually in the upper grades they limit it to 2 parents per class and try to give all parents an opportunity to chaperone, since often the same parents volunteer.

    Thanks for all the support guys! Sometimes I think I'm too sensitive and should just let some things go - but I just could not believe it when I saw that parent standing there and to find out it was planned with the other teacher! It confused the child too because she took him with the other class. I had to find them to deliver his lunch (we had pre-ordered) then at the end of the day he got on the bus with our class and the other teacher was looking for him. He didn't get to enjoy the field trip with his friends and isn't in any of our class pictures from that day.

    I had a meeting with the co-worker today and she was talking about working together as a team and being united in what we do :confused: (referring to an upcoming awards ceremony). It was on the tip of my tongue to say something sarcastic, but I didn't. I figure what good will it do now. It does make me feel better to know others would have been offended as well. :thanks:
     
  19. Mrs. R.

    Mrs. R. Connoisseur

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    May 14, 2009

    That actually would have been the perfect opportunity to bring up what you experienced on the field trip. Using "I statements" youc could have said something like "When you allowed Joe Parent to come on the field trip, I felt....." and "Because Joe Parent took his child with him for the day I....."

    If you don't speak with the colleague, nothing can be resolved.
     
  20. SpecSub

    SpecSub Comrade

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    May 14, 2009

    Our school tries to be fair to everyone who wants to chaperone field trips. When permission slips go out, parents check whether they want to be entered into a "lottery" to be a chaperone, and if their name is drawn, they're the ones. Some parents get upset when they don't see that they have the same chance to go along on a field trip as other parents.
     
  21. firstgradeteach

    firstgradeteach Comrade

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    Parents....

    Sometimes it is really frustrating. I had a parent refuse to come to a truancy meeting, IAT meeting, parent teacher conferences etc. But she sure did show up at our Valentine's day party when no parent was invited and eat our snack.:eek:

    But what I need to remember is that for every rotten parent, I really do have three decent parents(Complete homework send things back on time most of the time) and one amazing parent(goes above and beyond).

    Only a few days left! Hold your breath and count down until you don't have the parent anymore!
     
  22. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    May 15, 2009

    Ours do as well. They must be fingerprinted at their cost as well. Most parents do not volunteer anymore for field trips. Then again, with budget cuts, most of us don't even do field trips anymore. (too much out of pocket costs and limitations on how far the bus will take us)
     
  23. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    May 15, 2009

    Unfortunately when you are good at dealing with certain kinds of challenges, you get pegged for those challenges over and over again...I tend to get tough parents, school board kids and siblings of kids I've had before...I get tired of the tough parents...and yet, I'd rather deal with them than have them dumped on a non-tenured colleague. We got a sneak peak at the 'pull out' kids for next year today. Out of 6 groups, there is only one I'd rather not have because of a nightmare parent- it's not that I can't deal with the parent (maybe I should since no one else does- I'm a bit of a 'friendly brick wall', so she would be nicely put in her place) but I'll sign up for all 6 groups- I figure I'll get what I get...and so I'll get the pushy parents, the room moms who just shouldn't be room parents, the PITAs (pains in the ....) It's what I seem to do well, while others tend to get run over by them (picture housewives of NJ on steroids(them)...yeah, I can downsize them in no time(I'm no wimp) ) . Yipee for me.
     

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