Parents who dread school breaks

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by whizkid, Nov 19, 2018.

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  1. whizkid

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    You know them. The ones who purposely "forget" to pick up their children on the last day, the ones who ask "so how long before school starts", the ones who call the school when only custodians are there asking "do you have school today", the ones who bring them to school when there is staff development and school doesn't start until the next day, the ones who tell their children to "get the hell out of this car", the ones whose children speak to you in the store and the parent looks around at you with that desperate facial expression as if to say "save me". Lol, they're aaaaaalllllll yours now. :p
     
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  3. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    Those are the parents that should have never had children.

    I’m a firm believer that the gene pool should have a lifeguard.
     
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  4. whizkid

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    The parental suffering is reaching its apex. Kml
     
  5. Kat.

    Kat. Companion

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    This just might be my new favorite phrase.
     
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  6. whizkid

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    I'm just rolling around in bed right now watching Netflix having a blast. No children, how sweet it is!
     
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  7. futuremathsprof

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    Absolutely right! That’s one of the many reasons I’m never having children and I’m 26. Heck no, techno.
     
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  8. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Wow. Consider school is a refuge for some kids. Consider that some parents are working long hours and are thankful their kids have a safe place to learn. Consider that parenting isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.
     
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  9. whizkid

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    Some parents will actually see you in the store and ask "you wanna take em with you"? Lol

    20 days til Xmas break! Oh I can't wait!
     
  10. whizkid

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    Consider that some parents are just sitting at home collecting a check for having kids. Consider that school is nothing more than break time for them. Consider that the idea of a school break frightens them because they actually have to be parents, you know, feeding, supervising, etc. Consider the parents that are quick to want to dump their horribly acting kids on someone else. Nope, they're your problem now. They're dreading that Xmas break now especially if they can't send them to grandma or grandpa. Two whole weeks of getting driven up the wall. Two weeks of you getting to tell your kids to stop, sit down, stop hitting each other, stop cussing, yep, your problem.
     
  11. futuremathsprof

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    :yeahthat:
     
  12. YoungTeacherGuy

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    We have free after school care from 2:10pm (when school dismisses) until 6:00pm. Many of my students are at school from 7:10am (when breakfast starts) until 6:00pm Monday-Friday. Of the students who attend the after school of program, over 60% of the parents do not work.
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2018
  13. whizkid

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    Because...................



    It's break time!

    [​IMG]
     
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  14. futuremathsprof

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    Honestly, a majority of your parents at your school sound like pretty useless individuals.
     
  15. futuremathsprof

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    I, also, can’t wait for X-mas break. How long is yours and when do you return to school?

    Mine is 17 or 18 days (I can’t remember which) in length and I return on January 7th. It can’t get here soon enough, haha!

    I already have many activities planned out (e.g., several nights out with friends to dinner, binge movie night at the cinema, getting various kinds of massages, buying a new 65” TV, going to the casino (I love blackjack), seeing a few shows in San Fran, riding around town on my SegWay, etc.) and I’m super excited. :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2018
  16. whizkid

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    And for many parents, that's just it. That's the whole role of school. The child learning anything doesn't matter. For 8+ hours, those parents know that they're someone else's problem. Low payment housing, checks, food stamp cards, etc. You've seen them at the store, your school, out and about, 4 kids and another one on the way. No father in the picture, but no worries, our taxes will pay for them and the mothers know that.

    As long as the kids are at school, the school plays parent, counselor, doctor, that alleviates the actual parents of the responsibility. That's why school breaks are horrible for them, because now it's their responsibility. Same with their child getting suspended from school, because you're cutting into their free time. ISS, all good. Suspension? Time to come to the school and cut up! :mad:
     
  17. whizkid

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    16 days, January 7th
     
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  18. futuremathsprof

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    Apparently, in YTG’s district,

    EBT = extreme bum transaction.
     
  19. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I realize that many of you are being sarcastic, but I'm rather concerned about the attitudes I see in some of you. I'm wondering how some of you manage to relate to these parents who you consider to be such deadbeats. And I wonder how you relate to their children.

    PS...we also have students who come to our after school program and come from homes where the guardian doesn't work. Some of them are being raised by parents or grandparents who are disabled and can't work and the students choose to come to the program because they enjoy being with their friends and there aren't any other children near where they live. Or the students live in a home with three other families who are homeless due to hurricanes and haven't been able to find a job and, yes, they have EBT because that's the only way they can eat while they are looking for a job and a home of their own. Or, the family is living in a hotel in a "not very nice" area while they are trying to re-establish themselves and school is the most secure place for their child to be.

    So, please don't assume what you are assuming about these parents. I'm kind of assuming that many of the homeless families from the fires in California are now going to be in the same situation.
     
  20. whizkid

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    Those aren't the parents being discussed here. It's clear that deadbeat parents are the ones being discussed here. So don't assume we're talking about the ones you mentioned when it's clear who's being discussed. Fyi, I know these parents personally, I went to school with them and having children is the last thing they should have done.
     
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  21. a2z

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    Thank you for this.
     
  22. a2z

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    You can't know what is going on in the parents' life judging from your high throne. I bet you would be furious if a "non-deadbeat parent" was on a forum judging you when they haven't set foot in your classroom. They may see you as a deadbeat teacher.

    Just because you decided your definition of who is a deadbeat and who is not is accurate doesn't mean you are right.
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2018
  23. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    All the more reason to be a compassionate and caring professional educator. Hoping the negative attitude here toward parents don’t affect interactions with students. Sad, really. ESPECIALLY in the holiday season.
     
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  24. MrsC

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    I decided long ago that I couldn't make public judgments about the parents of my students unless I was willing to let them make public judgments about me.
     
  25. futuremathsprof

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    I think we’re using the dictionary definition of deadbeat:

    Deadbeat | Define Deadbeat at Dictionary.com
    adjective. being a parent who neglects parental responsibilities, especially one who does not pay child support: deadbeat dads.

    YTG said over 60% of parents in his district don’t work and don’t pick up their kids until 6pm every school day. Sounds like they want the schools to totally take care of their children and they sound like deadbeat parents to me.
     
  26. futuremathsprof

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    Exceptions do not form the rule. Those are not the parents being discussed.

    I will always be there for my students, regardless of their race, sexuality, religious views, creed, intellectual ability, or socioeconomic status. What I don’t appreciate are irresponsible parents who have no business being parents in the first place and who look for every reason under the sun to avoid parenting their children while expecting their child’s/children’s teachers to do the upbringing and parenting for them.
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2018
  27. whizkid

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    You're more than welcome to take them home with you. ;)
     
  28. a2z

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    How many do you take home? ;)
     
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  29. futuremathsprof

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    I don’t take any home and I am profoundly grateful that I don’t have to. :D <shudders>
     
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  30. mathmagic

    mathmagic Enthusiast

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    Two things. First, ditto 100% what a2z and swansong said. And yes, I'm 100% aware you are talking about a subset. To begin with, I've always been a fan of not complaining about things that are outside of my control, and instead, utilizing that time/energy to make things better. I hear that too often from colleagues, and it's energy draining, time-wasting, and does nothing but negatively affect my work with those students and parents. In addition, as both of them said / quoted, we don't know the exact situations of each.

    Secondly, hypocrisy seems like a fitting word. Yes, I know one's a job and one's parenthood (but wait, didn't one choose that job, and one choose to be a parent?), but still, it drives me nuts when someone complains about something that they themselves are at least somewhat guilty of:

    (And between that and what's below, the "look at me"...this is why I've found myself spending way more time collaborating in other groups recently...)

     
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  31. futuremathsprof

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    How does looking forward to your days off and planning a vacation have anything to do with dereliction of parental duties and habitually not working on a grand scale?
     
  32. mathmagic

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    The last quote of the five was unrelated, but the other four speak to mindset. Wanting to escape the classroom as often as possible during the year and looking forward to getting away from the kids...
    It's okay if you don't end up understanding what I'm getting at; it goes a bit beyond the surface.
     
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  33. futuremathsprof

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    Oh, I see. Thank you for clarifying.
     
  34. YoungTeacherGuy

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    I truly hope I didn’t come across as a Debbie Downer in my post. I have to turn in a report each month to the CDE (California Department of Education) with the statistics of our after school program; therefore, I know the numbers like the back of my hand.

    For many of my students, they’re better off staying with us from 7:10am-6:00pm—despite the fact that their parents are at home all day long.
     
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  35. futuremathsprof

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    I don’t think you were being a Debbie Downer at all. I appreciate that you were truthful and not making excuses for people who don’t work.

    I just find it ridiculous that so many parents are unemployed at your school and literally doing nothing at home, but they can’t find time to take care of their kids. Really? It doesn’t make any sense at all.

    It reminds me of when some of my students complain that they’re tired and then proceed to tell me they got like 10 hours sleep the night before. I incredulously look at them and state, “What are they tired from, sleeping? Oh yeah, just laying there for 10 hours and doing absolutely nothing. It really takes it out of you. Get back to work.”
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2018
  36. a2z

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    I am just wondering since a lot of the comments are about parents being deadbeat parents. I'm not pointing the finger at you. Just asking questions.

    Does your data contain stats on how many parents are disabled or have major health issues? How many are caring for someone else who is disabled or needs more care making it better for the child to be at a safe location? Safety of the neighborhood so that kids can play after school with friends? How many are grandparents who don't have the energy to keep the grandchildren entertained and engaged while at home even if they are loved and cared for otherwise?

    Points were made by others that talk about what life might be like for kids when they are home in an unsafe area or an area where they can't really play with friends.

    How many are suffering from depression (it tends to be very high in high poverty areas)? Do we now consider a depressed person a deadbeat?
     
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2018
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  37. futuremathsprof

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    60% of parents are disabled, or grandparents, or people suffering from depression? Really?

    Now you’re just grasping at straws.
     
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  38. YoungTeacherGuy

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    The data doesn’t dig that deep.

    What I do know is that the vast majority (almost all) of my students come from 4 different apartment complexes. The 4 complexes aren’t in bad condition, actually. They were built about 12-13 years ago and each one has a really nice & expensive playground area.

    We are offering day and evening parenting classes because we’ve had many parents flat out say, “I don’t know what to do with (insert children’s names).”
     
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  39. whizkid

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    ZERO! I love coming home to peace knowing they're someone else's problem! Again, you're free to take them home with you! Show them that tender loving care after being cussed out and having the middle finger thrown at ya!

    20 days! 20 days till freedom! Mamas gonna be desperate looking for a break! Lmao
     
  40. whizkid

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    20 days til Xmas break! Don't forget to add that one!
     
  41. a2z

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    But nice equipment doesn't mean it is safe.

    How do these families live in nice apartment complexes with no jobs? HUD housing which is now interspersed with non-HUD housing in many cases where it used to be more clustered into the projects. I don't see deadbeats (I know you didn't say this) as parents who want to take parenting classes.
     
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