Parent issues?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by adavant, Sep 29, 2012.

  1. adavant

    adavant Rookie

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    Sep 29, 2012

    Hi all

    I am new teacher and I have one parent of a 7th grader who is constantly calling the office on me. At first the issues were related to another student who her child doesn't get along with and wanting her child moved from sitting by them.

    I took care of this and she claimed there were still issues (though I didn't witness any in class). NOw she's claiming the class is disruptive to her child's learning. Though I am in control 99% of the time. Her child is one of the MOST disruptive students in there.

    I'm just at my wits end on why she keeps complaining though I feel I'm doing as she has asked and her child is one of the trouble makers.

    Should I be documenting his behavior or possibly even anyone I'm having trouble with?

    Thanks Alyssa
     
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  3. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Sep 29, 2012

    Documenting is always a good idea.

    What is your administration doing and/or saying? Hopefully, they are supporting you.

    As you gain experience, you will realize some parents will be whiners about everything no matter how hard you work. A good administrator will realize this and support you. Ask your administrator for a plan of how to handle this parent.
     
  4. adavant

    adavant Rookie

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    Yes I have been staying in communication with my administrator and he is VERY supportive. So far the parent has not come straight to me but has complained to the counselor and a board member. So far I have not been chastised by anyone as a result.
     
  5. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Sep 29, 2012

    Have you spoke with the mother about the child's disruptive behavior? Don't let her actions stop you for disciplining the child as you would any other. It's entirely possible the mother knows her child is a disruption and is "getting ahead" by making you to be the one out of control so that when the child is called on his behavior, she can claim it's due to your lack of classroom management.
     
  6. adavant

    adavant Rookie

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    No I haven't she babies her child and claims he is "perfect" in so many words. She also blames other students.
     
  7. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Sep 29, 2012

    Document everything. Invite your school staff coach, guidance counselor or child study person to come do an informal observation of this child's behavior.
     
  8. adavant

    adavant Rookie

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    Ok documentation will start monday. I regret I haven't done in before now.
     
  9. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Sep 29, 2012

    And calls home to her about her child's behavior should start this week too. Don't let him get away with misbehavior just because his mother can be intimidating. It will just get worse for you.
     
  10. adavant

    adavant Rookie

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    And what do I do when she attempts to argue with me.
     
  11. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Sep 29, 2012

    It very much depends on a number of things.

    I had a horrible parent experience recently (this parent requires police intervention! :eek:hmy:), and my very supportive principal has told me I shouldn't have to deal with such a parent again and should this person attempt another such meeting, it get kicks to her immediately.

    But, honestly, that's an extreme case. I have always handled the vast majority of parents. If this mother attempts to argue with you, don't engage in an argument. Provide facts only. No judgement. Your child did this, the consequence is this. Repeat once it if necessary, but then end it. If she wants to take it to administration, so be it. But be sure to fill in your principal first.
     
  12. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Sep 29, 2012

    don't argue back. And document your conversation with her. It'll be a pain, but well worth it in the long run. Never put emotion or assumptions into the conversation. Only state facts. If she tells you you are wrong about what you witnessed, state the facts one more time and then end the conversation. If she starts to get ugly, politely end the conversation as well.

    You: Mrs. Smith? This is Ms. Adavant. I'm calling to let you know that Johnny was misbehaving in class today. When I...

    Her: Johnny doesn't misbehave. It must have been someone else you saw.

    You: No ma'am, it was Johnny. He was repeatedly calling out to a friend across the room and when I...

    Her: You're just picking on him. You've always had it out for him.

    You: No ma'am, I am not. I would like to tell you about the incident and let you know what consequences Johnny will be facing in the classroom. I would appreciate your support at home...

    Her: Consequences! For what? He doesn't misbehave in class, I've already told you!

    You: Johnny will be expected to sit at his seat during free time on Friday. He can read a book from the class library during that time, but he will not be able to socialize with his friends.

    Her: What??!!! You can't punish him for something he didn't do! I'll be calling my friend on the school board about this! You have always hated him. No one thinks you're a good teacher anyhow. You should hear how...

    You: Thank you for your time, Mrs. Smith. Good day.

    And then hang up :)

    Some mothers are just plain crazy. You won't be able to convince them all that you're right and their child is wrong. Just do your job (inform the parent of what is going on) and let the rest go.

    Can you tell I've been down this road before? ;)
     
  13. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Sep 30, 2012

    Honestly, I would start by getting a little background on the family. Ask previous teachers and administration. Maybe they can help you with how to talk to the mother.

    I would definitely be documenting any misbehavior in the classroom or anything that seems a little strange. Better to have a record, then to be blindsided later on.
     
  14. queenie

    queenie Groupie

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    Sep 30, 2012

    I could've used this advice a couple weeks ago :rolleyes: You're exactly right. Don't call parents with the intention of asking their permission to give consequences. Simply call to inform them of the consequences. Makes sense. ;)
     

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