Parent is driving me INSANE!

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by PinkFish, Sep 23, 2009.

  1. PinkFish

    PinkFish Rookie

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    Sep 23, 2009

    So I have this girl in my class who is new to the district this year. On the first day of school Dad came in and told me her wanted her tested to be put in the gifted class, I explained to the dad that we only test students for the gifted class at the end of the year and that the gifted class was already full, but I told him if she was labeled as gifted from her old district she would be moved into the gifted class as soon as there was an opening. Dad was annoyed but left and didn't say anything eles about it. Turns out this student is NOT gifted. She is average at best. Well progress reports just went out and the student is making B's and now Dad is jumping down my throat and doesn't understand how his talented daughter is making B's... It's not even that she is lazy because she does try she is just isn't gifted. Why do parents act like this? Why can't they just accept that their child is average and not jump down my throat??? GGGGRRRR!
     
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  3. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Parents think their kid is God's gift to the world, they really can't help it.

    Ask the dad what documentation he has of his daughter being gifted, has she had any I.Q. tests, are records being sent from her other district?

    And, being gifted doesn't mean you're a straight "A" student.
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Sep 23, 2009

    I've had plenty of 'gifted' kids who actually did mediocre on 'regular' classroom tasks- one last year in particular who had issues with writing- could hardly write more than 3 sentences (probably more of an issue of 'won't' rather than 'can't') but was off the charts intelligent about science, the world, travel, languages...Many gifted kids don't get straight As.

    I can't believe a school would disallow a student because the 'class was full'. Gifted ed in NJ falls under the auspices of 'special education'. Denying a child gifted education enrichment due to space limitations would not be allowed.

    Perhaps you should check with the new student's prior school records. If there is documented assessment results (Otis-Lennon, some other recognized screening?), you should pass that info on to the gifted teacher- most schools allow parent nomination.
     
  5. PinkFish

    PinkFish Rookie

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    At her last school she was in regular ed and made very average grades, although her father said the teacher was giving her third grade work (in 1st grade) but there is no documentation on this. I am almost tempted to give her a packet of 3rd grade work and then send it home to the parents. The girl is very happy in our class and she is good behavior wise, I wish the dad would just leave it be!
     
  6. PinkFish

    PinkFish Rookie

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    and she was tested for gifted but did not qualify.
     
  7. TeacherC

    TeacherC Connoisseur

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    I don't know much about gifted students (we don't have any gifted classes in our district- very sad), but I agree with PP and would ask the Dad if he has any documentation or why he feels this way. Do you have any info. from the last school she was at?
     
  8. Ms.Jasztal

    Ms.Jasztal Maven

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    The G/T/Advanced teacher needed a good laugh. :lol: This got me going for a moment. That has been the underlying theme of my year so far.
     
  9. teach2boyz

    teach2boyz Rookie

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    Couldn't agree more about the straight A student and being gifted.

    I, on the other hand, want proof that my son received 4's on his progress report. That's the highest level. As a teacher, I just want to know how he demonstrated that. My son is in the gifted program, but that doesn't mean he gets the hightest grades.
     
  10. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    My theme too, the quality of my gifted kids just isn't what it was five years ago.
     
  11. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

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    Have you suggested that the Dad and girl come in some time after school and you can give her a test on third grade material?
     
  12. tracykaliski

    tracykaliski Connoisseur

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    You know, my son is the perfect example of someone who's gifted but can't write a sentence to save his life. When he was in 2nd grade, we had him tested and his IQ was very high (well above the technical gifted category) but he was also diagnosed as dyslexic and adhd. If it weren't for his dyslexia and writing issues, his IQ would have been much higher.

    Thankfully he's in a Montessori classroom where he has the ability to express himself in many different ways and he's getting a good balance between hands on activities, various ways to express his knowledge, using a laptop for most of his assignments, and he doesn't take any tests at all. He's really flourishing. But, if he were in a traditional classroom, my fear is that he would be tracked into one of the lower tracks because of his dyslexia and writing abilities instead of his strengths being addressed.

    Sounds like the Dad in this case is really hoping for something that may or may not be true.
     
  13. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    Is there any way you can talk to her old teacher? Just keep doing what is best for the child and just be thankful you're helping her instead of letting the dad assume what's best. You're the educator.
     
  14. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Sep 26, 2009

    A person with a learning disability and a high IQ is referred to as 2e or Twice Exceptional in LD communities.

    I'm 2e, dysgraphic with high verbal IQ (125)
     
  15. tracykaliski

    tracykaliski Connoisseur

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    It's nice to know, bros, that there are people like you out there that have made it! Congratulations to you, you've probably worked very hard in your academic career.

    I've actually been to some 2E workshops and it's been thrilling. So often teachers focus on what children are not able to do instead of helping them develop their strengths. I hope you had some people in your life who have helped you develop your strengths.

    My son is currently illustrating and writing his own graphic novels with characters he made up.
     
  16. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Tracy - thanks for posting that story of your son - what a great reminder!

    I once read ( and I wish I could remember where) that about 30% of HS dropouts are actually GT kids-there are definitely underachievers out there and kids who go unchallenged, ending up frustrated and bored with school.

    I think it's important to remember, even if the child is GT (and I understand OP that this child did not qualify), that doesn't mean just teaching above grade level standards to them. They should be more deeply exploring objectives other students are studying. I am in the midst of a debate about that with one of our staff parents who wants me to send multiplication homework for his gifted child (in Kinder), because he can do it. Of course, he can recite the tables, but has no deeper understanding of the concept and actually can't even decompose the number 5 yet-you split up 5 into 2 and 3 and he has to count them to see how many he has.

    Often parents are looking out for what's best for their kids, but don't really understand what that is academically.
     
  17. tracykaliski

    tracykaliski Connoisseur

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    Kindercowgirl, you are SO right.

    Just because they have the multiplication tables memorized doesn't mean they understand the process. Just because a child can tell the time on the clock doesn't mean they understand the concept of the passage of time.
     
  18. Breakaway4

    Breakaway4 Rookie

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    I am not teaching yet. I am finishing my master's in elementary education. My main area of interest is in gifted education. Here in Massachusetts there are not state mandates for this population. Only the more affluent districts have programs and many of those consist only of pull-out programs - at least in my area of Mass.
    I hope to address at least some of their needs when I have my own classroom.
    That being said, I am a parent of 4, all who do well in school, but one who has had IQ/achievement testing. I was laughing when you mentioned parents thinking their kids are God's gift to the world. I find myself always prefacing my interactions with his teachers with "I am NOT one of those parents who think my child is a genius, but...fill in the blank." Seriously, this is the only child of mine who has had so many issues with his education.
     
  19. WaProvider

    WaProvider Fanatic

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    I noticed this post---I am usually on the preschool board--but I needed to answer this as a parent.


    I just needed to point out that not passing the admission test isn't always that same as being average at best. My children have issues with ADHD although they are quite talented in the science/geography/languages and artistic realms. In our area the admission test for the G/T program is math and reading based only. Their ADHD causes issues with attending to the math problem from beginning to end. They can do it, and they do on many occasions---but the test doesn't show all of those other days. Just the day in question. Our testing period is right after the holidays-not the best time for my children.

    After watching my first son fail to get the push he needed in public school we moved the younger two to private school so that they could be challenged at their levels.

    The parent may not be seeing reality, but you may also never see what he sees in a different venue. Ask the parent for his documentation, or anecdotes in writing and then offer to consider how to best meet the needs for your class as a whole (and that whole, "dear father", will also be your daughter).
     
  20. nayelismom

    nayelismom Rookie

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    Sep 26, 2009

    In addition to requesting documentation from him, make sure that you keep documentation of her performance in your classroom. Make sure you have a diverse amount of work saved up.
     

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