I was very confused by this email I got from a parent this weekend. Her son has missed a few science classes because of band (which I can't pull him from and I'm not told ahead of time when he will be out) and he's not the type of responsible student to come in for 5 minutes at recess or at the end of the day (or heck even the next morning) to see what he missed. Suddenly Mom's all panicked that her son doesn't understand something- when I've already assessed that he can do a certain task in class a few times (he just decided to not properly fix his homework sheet with the correct answers on the wrong ones). She emailed me Tuesday about meeting with her child, I got back to her Tuesday afternoon. Wednesday morning I was already working with students, I told her recess was open, and after school I had a faculty meeting to go to. Thursday I had a field trip so I couldn't do it in the morning, I was away at recess, and she refuses to let him work with me after school. So finally Friday I worked with him and like before, he did great with answering the questions. I sent an update to his Mom so she would know. Mom emailed me this weekend she was upset with me that it took a week to meet with me (which isn't honestly true even), even when I explained to her before my reasons. She said she expected more out of my school (it's a private school). (I hate when private school parents use this- you're not getting a free tutor out of the school.) Some other points- I provided extra resources for her to work with her kid on, I teach 9 classes (140 students) for an academic course, and her son never shows up at recess and he can't meet after school so it's just mornings- when other parents have already emailed me to meet with their kid. How would you handle the situation? I tried re-explaining why I couldn't meet (I did apologize for her being frustrated about it) and that her son is always welcome to come in at the set times that I have open for other kids too. Am I in the wrong here? If I could have met with her son sooner, I would have, but I tried my best. (I think I just need to let this go and stop beating myself up )
Yep. If you're concerned that the parent will push this or will start harassing you, be sure to bring admin into the loop. I had a parent like this last year who expected me to be a private tutor and be available two hours after school to tutor the student after sports practice.
Her son has been on our "watch" list for awhile because of his behaviors in class. He can be a really bright boy but he acts out and has such a hard time focusing. Mom said she didn't want to have to share "bad news" with me but she wanted me to be aware of her thoughts. So I told her my thoughts: this is when I'm available unless I get booked up before hand and to please remind your child to come see me if he misses science class. Thank you for those who have given me their thoughts. This is the first time the Mom has complained so I'm just surprised I think. I won't hold it against her- but I hope she sees that I do want her kid to do well and that I will do everything I can to help him out. If she crosses the line though- expecting more time than I can give (like staying past my contract times) I will let me P and guidance counselor know. (Mind you- we're not suppose to have kids in before 7:45 am but I am willing to come in earlier if I know a child really needs time with me. Idk I just feel like I have to keep backing myself up when I haven't done anything. I hate this stupid insecurity.)
We teachers are busy. You let her know your schedule and because she didn't let her son come in after school then he had to wait just a tada bit for when both of your schedules would work together.you didn't do anything wrong.
I have a feeling heads would roll if you suggested this student cut back on his extracurricular activities. Yeah, don't even mention that idea. Simply continue stating your availability and perhaps send her a note when he actually works with you.
Knowing this child for 2 years, I'm not sure why he is in the band program. The poor thing can't sit still long enough to properly write down a title on a page. Watching him lug his instrument to band is honestly sad~ he's so fidgety that he's swinging around the instrument into children, the walls, other people. It's not his fault- he can't control his body and I just hope it will be something that he has better control of as he grows up (he's currently in 4th grade). I know there's other issues, but it's not my place to decide if a child should or should not be in other activities that might take him away from class. (If children leave my class to go to band, I make them go their next period teacher to check in about assignments and homework. I wish more teachers would do this instead of just sending off children.) The parents know he misses science sometimes for band- they've spoken to the guidance counselor about it. And my email this evening reminded them that their son does not come see me if he's missed class in the morning (I'd be happy to work with him at recess- which means I usually give up my prep or lunch time to work with kids (of course I would never mention that to parents either)). I hope that since I brought up an idea on how we could help their son that it will be something I can work on with their son.
Oddly enough the Mom hasn't emailed me back yet... I think I'm going to email her again next week to check in and see if she'd like me to set up a time to review with her son since a quiz is coming up.
I would set a face to face meeting with the parent. Sometimes emails are difficult because you can't read the person's tone. Meet in person to clear the air, and the I think you will feel much better. Definitely let you admin know what is going on, so they don't get caught off guard if she decides to approach them about the issue.
I don't guess I understand. If he's supposed to go to band class, why would he need to check with his next teacher? Shouldn't that band teacher have the right to teach the child no matter where he stands in other classes? Or is he missing "regular" instruction in order to attend band class?
I am actually impressed with your response time and willingness to work with the child! Mom needs some perspective.
I agree that a face-to-face conference with the parent is the best way to go. It sounds like you've already done plenty to help the child. Any more assistance will probably just be enabling. Explain everything to your administration, and document every word/action before and after the meeting with the mother. In the meantime, try not to take it all too personally. I learned many years ago that some parents see teachers as easy targets and will take out all sorts of frustrations on us.
Yes, sorry- he's missing science class to attend band. Band is not built into the scheduling. My school REALLY need to re-evaluate their scheduling system and find a better way to schedule in all these little things that make a child's education valuable. For a child who has issues with organization, planning, and taking responsibility, something like pulling him out of a class is hard on him. I totally support students going to extracurricular activities, but I dislike the idea of having to find children who miss my class for these activities to make sure they're caught up (I teach 9 classes~ about 140 students~ so I can't do too much chasing around to find them).
This is my 5th year in an independent school- some parents (not all) have the mentality that since they're paying a good sum of money (at my school it costs about one year of college) so they think they're getting a teacher, mentor, tutor, and (in some cases) a guidance counselor for the parents. If Mom communicates with my P about this, then I'll simply explain my situation- my P knows how much time I make myself available for my students. If Mom has already tried to communicate with my P, then she must have backed me up and doesn't see this as a major issue since I haven't heard anything from her. I have an email trail between Mom and I of setting up help, sending her extra resources, etc. So I think I'm covered- I don't like to set up conferences unless the situation is very serious and I think that since this is the first time this has happened it's not to that level yet.
