Parent Conference

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by NewTeacher05, Nov 11, 2014.

  1. NewTeacher05

    NewTeacher05 Rookie

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    Nov 11, 2014

    Hello!
    I'm a Kindergarten Teacher. One of my parents wants to meet with me in regard to her son being constantly teased in class due to his height (he's just a tad short for a K student, nothing unusual). Anyways, she says he goes home and says all day long he is teased (he also goes to before school/after school programs at school and it happens there too) and its getting so bad he wants to go back to his old PreK.

    I'm looking on advice on what to say to her, because honestly I don't see it. Her son is very, very social (as in gets in trouble all the time for talking and playing) and has many friends in the class and has never come to me in regards of someone saying something to him he did not like. I also have never heard the other students make references to his height.

    I plan on telling her that I do correct student behavior as soon as it happens, and if students are not using nice words, they are asked to correct their words and apologize. Also since K students are ego centric, they don't realize words they say hurt others, so I also teach my students if someone says something to them that hurts their feelings to tell them that.

    I'm not sure what else to say? Again as I mentioned I have not observed anyone make references to his height and he plays and talks with everyone. She is pretty upset over this and also has emailed our P wanting to meet with him over this. So I feel like if I say I don't see anything, she will think I am just brushing it off and ignoring the problem?

    Thanks for the help!
     
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  3. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    Nov 11, 2014

    Some parents look for problems.

    Some kids will make up stories about being mistreated, especially if they are in trouble at school and looking for an "out."

    Good luck!
     
  4. AdamnJakesMommy

    AdamnJakesMommy Habitué

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    Nov 11, 2014

    Handle it diplomatically.

    I would tell her that since you are not seeing it, that it must be happening in situations when you wouldn't be able to hear/see it: on the playground, on the bus, at the lunch table, etc. Tell her the only way you can fix the situation is by addressing the students who are "teasing" her son. For this reason, her son needs to alert you to the situation (as it is happening), that way you can address the students responsible and speak with students who may have witnessed it in order to resolve the issue (or refer it to administration if need be). But until you are informed of the situation, who is involved, who is saying what, what exactly is being said, you are powerless to solve the problem.
     
  5. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Nov 11, 2014

    Definitely tell her you don't see it. If you just say that you take care of problems as they arise, she will assume he is getting teased but that you can't handle the situation.

    Some kids lie, some exaggerate, some parents are quick to make mountains out of molehills.

    I'd also ask, if the child is present, exactly what is said, who said it and when it was said.
     
  6. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Nov 11, 2014

    Some of these things happen in the hallway, at lunch or recess, not in the class room. Tell mom you will reassure her on that he should come tell you when others are making him feel sad. You might also get the guidance counselor involved.
     
  7. MissScrimmage

    MissScrimmage Aficionado

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    Nov 11, 2014

    Thank her for making you aware of the situation. Agree with her that teasing is unkind and that you handle teasing when you see/hear it. Tell the child that he needs to come to you when someone is teasing him so you can deal with it. The document the number of times he comes to you.
     
  8. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

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    Nov 12, 2014

    I have a similar situation. Parents think their son is teased and shunned. They say he comes home and tells them everyday about being bullied. Actually they say they have to pull it out of him because he says nothing. I personally think that they parents want to hear how bad it is so they continually ask the kid until he tells them what they want to hear.
    Maybe the parents are afraid that their child will be teased because of his height and they ask and ask until he finally tells them what he thinks they want to hear.
     
  9. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    Nov 13, 2014

    This :thumb:
     
  10. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

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    Nov 13, 2014

    I could see this happening.

    I think your eventual way to really figure this out is through the kid. Talk to him alone before the conference with the parents to see if you can figure out his perspective, and what he wants as a result. Maybe consider having him available during your conference with the parents as well (maybe you want to speak to the parents privately at least part of the time, but certainly having him there to answer questions could help).
     
  11. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    Nov 13, 2014

    My daughter is in K. We are currently dealing with an issue of her being bullied at recess. She absolutely will not tell on the student who is bullying her. Please keep in mind that your student may very well feel picked on for his height, maybe outside the classroom or in before/after care, but isn't comfortable enough to tell anyone.

    While I would definitely reassure Mom you will handle the situation, I would acknowledge that it is occurring. Your conference will not end well if you make it seem like her son is making up the information.
     

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