Painful but… here goes.

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TeacherShelly, May 18, 2014.

  1. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    3,565
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 18, 2014

    Six months ago I was eating breakfast with my family when it happened. My husband exploded. He and I were having a tiff, I thought, not really even the level of a tiff. He was saying something about me not doing enough around the house, I was trying to get an idea what he wanted me to do, and he blew up. He hurt me physically, right in front of our daughters, and by the end of the day, we were separated and he was living in a motel room.

    Our girls called a neighbor, thank goodness, and got out of the house. They are turning 12 today.

    Looking back I can't honestly say I never saw this coming, but in a way, I had no idea. That morning was like every morning. We had our 15 year anniversary two weeks before, and had been together 20. We used to say the secret to our success was we'd "married the right people."

    Since our separation, he has done nothing to bridge the gap to get us back together. We are seeing a counsellor and she tells him he needs to do something, anything. I told him I need him to apologize for hurting me, terrifying me and the girls, and get some psychological help for depression. He's been depressed for years but blames everyone and everything in his life for his "mood," not medical depression.

    He says he's no longer depressed. He says being with me made him depressed and he didn't even know it. He doesn't think he has anything to apologize for. By the way, I wrote him a long apology letter for my part in our troubles when we first split up.

    He has freedom now, like his own apartment, free time when I have our kids, no one to make him clean up, talk instead of play video games, or participate in any kind of family routine.

    He didn't have time to help with the kids' birthday parties this weekend because he made plans to help "someone" with "their" motorcycle. "They" needed to move it out of someone else's garage. I know people say, "they" when they don't want to say he or she for some reason. Yep, it's a female motorcycle rider, and "they" need to get the motorcycle out of "their" boyfriend's garage.

    I really needed to get this off my chest. I have a couple of divorced friends who understand and listen to me, but mostly I feel like people don't want to hear bad news. Besides, I always end up crying and that doesn't work well when we're at work. Now I'm relying on you strangers for sympathy and words of support. Thanks for listening.

    Shelly
     
  2.  
  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,950
    Likes Received:
    2,102

    May 18, 2014

    Hugs, Shelly...you are a strong woman. Your daughters are learning to be strong women from how you get through this. Know that there are better days ahead...:hugs:
     
  4. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2005
    Messages:
    3,231
    Likes Received:
    65

    May 18, 2014

    Shelly, I don't have any brilliant words for you, but I'm sorry this happened.

    :hugs:
     
  5. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    Messages:
    13,859
    Likes Received:
    1,696

    May 18, 2014

    Well said, czacza. I agree completely.
     
  6. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2002
    Messages:
    18,935
    Likes Received:
    677

    May 18, 2014

    I am so sorry, Shelly. Hold your head up, show your daughters you can cope, and let your husband decide how he will conduct his life. You've set your limits and that is the mature thing to do. Hugs.
     
  7. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    7,075
    Likes Received:
    15

    May 18, 2014

    :hugs:

    He will regret his actions one day, and it will be too late. YOU are the lucky one because this will make the bond between you and the girls even tighter.
     
  8. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    4,212
    Likes Received:
    8

    May 18, 2014

    Kudos to you for having the strength to know what is best for you and your daughters, and leaving him. You're showing them that it's not ok for a man to treat a woman the way he treated you.

    I'm sure you don't need me to tell you this, but please make sure your daughters don't hear you talk about him (as hard as it may be). My dad left my mom when I was about 15, and demonstrated behaviors that your husband is showing. As mad as I was about his immaturity and unwillingness to be part of our family, I wanted nothing to do with my mom when she spoke negatively about him. She didn't do it often, but I found it very annoying. I hated having to pick a side.

    Stay strong for your girls, and don't be afraid to look to us for support!!!
     
  9. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,827
    Likes Received:
    140

    May 18, 2014

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. Doesn't sound like this counseling was his idea...or was it? Do you really want to get back together with him? He seems so glad to be "footloose & fancy free".

    My BF's mom (& he's agreed w/ this as well) stayed w/ his dad waaaaaaay longer than she should have & he wasn't even physically abusive, but he did lots of other things. I guess she thought he would change & she said she did it for the sake of the kids. Well, my BF's brother ended up resenting their mom for staying in the marriage & didn't talk to her for a good few yrs because he thought she should have left their dad yrs ago because as he said it, "If dad's no good to you (mom), he's no good to any of us (kids)." She finally divorced him after about 23 yrs of marriage...yeah, about 22 yrs in it too long.

    TeacherShelly, if your husband has done nothing to bridge the gap to getting back together, you shouldn't have to be sitting around waiting. Go on & live life & stay strong!
     
  10. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,950
    Likes Received:
    2,102

    May 18, 2014

    Shelly...your commitment to therapy, patience with sticking it out, and your hope for a reconciliation show your belief in love...to love is to be vulnerable...it can be hard sometimes, but you will come out stronger and in a good place after this...Don't give up on the possibilities that trust and love offer...it's out there...don't stop believing.
     
  11. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    3,565
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 18, 2014

    It's really an interesting relief to read your replies. Thank you for supporting me during this highly emotional time.

    Czacza, I am looking forward to those better days ahead. At least only 8 of them are teaching days! :)

    MonsieurTeacher, no need for brilliant words, just brilliant kind thoughts, thank you!

    Mrs.C, you are always supportive on here, and I appreciate you making a comment.

    Upsadaisy, somehow calling me mature affirmed me, so thank you for that.

    Giraffe, I wonder… I'm glad they are super close with their dad, and it can annoy me when he's all "fun father" while I'm being "mature mother."

    Driving Pigeon, I'm sorry you went through your parents' divorce and the negative talk, even if it was only a couple times. I'm taking your words to heart because even though I have a policy against talking bad about him TO them, I need to watch what they might overhear when I'm on the phone or talking with someone at the house.

    Ms.I, I'm sorry to read about your BF's mom. I can relate, though, because it's not easy to start over after 20 years with one man. Do I really want to get back together with my husband? No, what I wish for is to rewind and somehow have this erase itself. Not just the explosion but whatever all led up to it. I wish this would be a wake up call for him, and that he'd do what he needs to, to be the man we need over here.

    Still, I am trying to live and not wait around. Whatever else happened or is happening, I have had a wake up call to figure out what makes me happy. It can't be just mothering and teaching, either. Our counsellor made us sign up on Match.com just to see what it is we're looking for in a mate. That was eye-opening! All the other women have pictures of themselves traveling to all corners of the globe, sky-diving, climbing mountains and the like while my hobbies are crochet and reading. Boring as heck, but suited me fine while happily married! Oh, my...
     
  12. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,827
    Likes Received:
    140

    May 18, 2014

    Those women are doing what they love & having fun & showing those men out there that they're not waiting around for a man to start having fun. They're doing it NOW. Life is too short not to.

    You just have other interests, but maybe now's the time to get a little more adventuresome.
     
  13. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,950
    Likes Received:
    2,102

    May 18, 2014

    Shelly...there's ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with crocheting and reading...many of those people on Match are not truthful about who they are, what they are all about or what they want in life. Be true to yourself...It's not about showing men you arent depending or needing...it's about being YOU...don't be afraid to venture out of your comfort zone and explore other interests, but know YOU ARE DESERVING AND WORTHY OF GREAT LOVE.
     
  14. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    4,212
    Likes Received:
    8

    May 18, 2014

    The great thing is that there are plenty of men out there who would love a "boring" teacher mom who likes to crochet and read. ;)

    When my mom started dating men on Match, she was very open to and interested in their hobbies. One man owned a hot air balloon, and they would go for rides all the time. Her current BF loves skiing, so they go on ski trips. They didn't have the same interests before they met, but now she enjoys those things.
     
  15. chemteach55

    chemteach55 Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    1,710
    Likes Received:
    13

    May 18, 2014

    Hugs and good thoughts coming your way:)
     
  16. comaba

    comaba Cohort

    Joined:
    May 21, 2011
    Messages:
    624
    Likes Received:
    1

    May 18, 2014

    Shelly, I've been through much of what you're going through. It will get better, but it takes time.

    When I was in counseling, I kept a journal. I wasn't comfortable sharing my pain and anger with even my closest friends, and the journal allowed me to vent/rant as much as I needed. It also helped me to reflect. It might help you too. (Just make sure you keep it in a secure place so your children will never have access to it.)
     
  17. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2011
    Messages:
    3,224
    Likes Received:
    147

    May 18, 2014

    This. I'd be a reader and a crafter whether I'm single or with someone. I love sharing interests with my SO. He's gotten me way more into sports. I love it!
     
  18. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    3,672
    Likes Received:
    234

    May 18, 2014

    I am so sorry to hear about this. I have always enjoyed your posts and can sense your commitment to what you care about. I hope things work out for the best for your family.
     
  19. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2003
    Messages:
    6,699
    Likes Received:
    65

    May 18, 2014

    Shelly, I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I so admire your strength and courage. Hold your head high! Sending hugs and prayers!!
     
  20. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2007
    Messages:
    4,391
    Likes Received:
    5

    May 18, 2014

    Hugs Shelly. It had to be a very difficult decision, I am so glad you were able to show your girls that it is never ok to be hurt by someone, even if you love them. The saddest part is that he isn't being an involved father, I hope that changes, no matter what happens in your relationship.
     
  21. creativemonster

    creativemonster Comrade

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2006
    Messages:
    433
    Likes Received:
    109

    May 18, 2014

    So many people have said things so much better than I could - I love this site! Hugs. You are doing something that takes incredible strength - you might not feel your strength - Your girls are witnessing it. Bravo.
     
  22. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    3,565
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 18, 2014

    Well, he just left from picking up one daughter. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life: he basically said it's over. He said what he did is unforgivable and there is no scenario where he could be OK with him being part of our family again. That is so absurdly diabolical. I know it's true, but it also feels like I'm not worth fighting for. I can't believe he is willing to throw away what so many people dream of: a beautiful, healthy family, a nice home, stable life.

    And the motorcycle woman, they "like each other," which feels like a huge betrayal. He is really negative and cynical, and so is she, so they can be themselves when they are together, not having to pull back 75% so people can tolerate their negativity. Endearing, not.

    Czacza, Driving Pigeon, dgpiaffeteach, you made me laugh and feel better when you said being myself if ok. I imagined taking action photos of myself doing a half-double-crochet and reading two books at once. Haha! I also know you're right. I can be very open to adventure while staying myself. I can't NOT read, teach, mother, and crochet :) Driving Pigeon, the air balloon is one thing I forgot to mention. People do all kinds of amazing things, especially on Match.com!!

    Chemteach, thank you!

    Comaba, great idea about the journal. I have one and have been writing in it and couldn't find it when I wanted to vent today. I'm 99% sure it's in my classroom. Your advice is true since I would not like anyone to see what I've ranted about in there.

    Missy & ChristyF, your lips to God's ears.

    Tasha, I am also 100% committed to having him participate in the girls' lives. We both agreed to coparent, by going to parent teacher conferences together, doing birthdays together, family camping trips, and so on. I dream of being like Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin doing a "conscious uncoupling" but feel more like Brad and Jennifer, painful and depressing.

    I have one daughter with me this week. I intend to fully enjoy her and give her the best life possible. Thanks again for all the support. I clearly need it!
     
  23. creativemonster

    creativemonster Comrade

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2006
    Messages:
    433
    Likes Received:
    109

    May 18, 2014

    Icky money note - PLEASE find away to stash some of yours - not that he would take it - but this sounds messy and there are kids involved, etc. Don't know the legal issues but if you can - PLEASE make sure to sock away a little emergency fund he doesn't know about. Don't tell the girls. Don't mention it to anyone. Just do it. (If it's possible.) Even if it's a tiny bit.

    And maybe I'm a bitter mean nasty person but I don't think "conscious uncoupling" is real. (I like to think I'm sweet and optimistic - but not when someone rips my heart out - and I don't have kids - that raises stakes)

    Motorcycle girl doesn't sound permanent - some people are frightened to be alone and she might represent soemthing for him right now. not excusing her - but if she's (I'll say it) stupid enough to be with a man - even think about being with a man who is transitioning away from a family - well, that's on her and ...I won't go there. Sorry!

    You ARE strong. Keep breathing. many hugs.
     
  24. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    3,565
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 18, 2014

    creativemonster, you have no idea how much your words mean. I will be careful, and not worry about motorcycle sarah and just keep on keeping on. Thank you!
     
  25. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    4,212
    Likes Received:
    8

    May 18, 2014

    This sounds similar to my dad, who I mentioned before. It almost seemed like having a family was a "bump in the road." He used to stay out late, hang out with friends a lot, etc. Then he had kids, and had to "grow up" even though he really didn't want to. When he left my mom he went back to his old ways, even though he was in his 40's. He started dating someone who was in her 20's. He's also suffered from depression most of his life.

    I think it's sad that some people are either truly oblivious or too afraid to realize the root of their problems. And until they do so, they are never going to be happy.
     
  26. Loveslabs

    Loveslabs Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2013
    Messages:
    200
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 19, 2014

    My heart feels for you, as I know what it is like to have something come out of no where and knock you on your butt. I was in your position once, but with different details. My best advice is to take care of yourself, take one day at a time, and don't make any major decisions for at least a year.
    You will survive and actually be a better person for it. One day you will look back and be grateful for this turn of events because you will learn and grow from it. One person told me that and I thought they were nuts, but now I know they were correct.
    Another person said, "Today begins your walk through fire, but you will emerge with a smile on your face." Sounded crazy at the time, but it was true.
    Take care:hugs:
     
  27. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,328
    Likes Received:
    1,454

    May 19, 2014

    I'm just reading this now, Shelly. My heart goes out to you. There are a thousand other things I could add, but the best way to sum it up is that I hope you're getting at least a little strength from knowing we're with you in spirit.
     
  28. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2007
    Messages:
    2,188
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 19, 2014

    I think you have been given great advise. I have only experienced this from the perspective of a child. You know what to do - keep the children out of it as much as you can and don't use them to vent or as a sounding board. Give yourself permission to grieve and be mad but try to do it in private. Keep stability in your children's lives. Do positive things for yourself.

    I am also not sure about the co-parent thing. Sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too. Don't let guilt (even though you have no reason to be guilty) make you agree to things you aren't comfortable with.

    Most of all, may you find peace.
     
  29. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2007
    Messages:
    3,506
    Likes Received:
    12

    May 19, 2014

    TeacherShelly, I went through something kind of similar in 2008 -- a horrible divorce and betrayal... I am so sorry for the pain you are in.

    You've gotten some great advice here, but I need to add that you need to find a good attorney and soon. Things are probably going to get ugly, and the sooner you have your ducks in a row, and the sooner you have a legal advocate fighting for you, the better you will be.

    Also, don't hesitate to go to your doctor and tell her that you are struggling. She might be able to give you some temporary medicines to help you with the anxiety and stress. There's no shame in that.

    You're going to have good days and bad days for a long time. There's no way around it. Don't let anyone rush you. We all grieve differently, and we all heal at our own pace. Make your children your priority in every decision, and you'll be okay.
     
  30. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2003
    Messages:
    6,810
    Likes Received:
    190

    May 19, 2014

    Shelly, so sorry that you an your daughters have to endure this pain. It stinks for all of you....
    Please make sure you & your daughters are getting support you all may need. Going into teen years they may need someone other than mom to talk to a professional, gma or aunt.
    Hugs to all of you!
     
  31. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2007
    Messages:
    1,878
    Likes Received:
    104

    May 19, 2014

    You will learn quickly to be your own rock. No it was not your plan for your family, but it is what it is now. Read, crochet, and live happily ever after in your new world with your daughters.

    The part about physically hurting you in front of the girls is simply unacceptable. I'd use that for both the custody and financial battles. Even if it was just that one instance in 20 years, that is him NOW. He could have chosen to leave you for this biker girl without incident.

    Best wishes and keep us posted.
     
  32. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,150
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 19, 2014

    :hugs: Like some of the others have said, I really wish I had more to say aside from how sorry I am that this has happened. You did the right thing to separate from this man because once someone hits you, they'll do it again and again. Or, even if they don't hit you, they can abuse you mentally, which is just as bad, if not worse because while the body eventually pulls itself back together, emotional scars are a lot harder to mend.

    It sounds like your husband has some serious issues and if he is not willing to get the proper help, as painful as it is, you need to stay far away from him. I know you don't want to keep your children from their father, but if it was me, I would make sure that my kids knew if their dad ever made them feel the least bit uncomfortable or threatened, that they could tell me no matter what and then I would take the issue to the courts.

    :hugs: again, I'm very sorrry :(
     
  33. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2005
    Messages:
    5,277
    Likes Received:
    745

    May 19, 2014

    I'm sorry. I really like Loveslabs quote about beginning your walk through fire. When you're in the middle of tough times, it does feel like the flames are surrounding you. But in time, things will be better. It may be a while yet though. Get your ducks in a row and take care of yourself. You're going to want to be strong for your girls, but you'll need an hour or two here and there for yourself. And that's ok.

    Hugs and best wishes for you. Vent away here. We'll be therapy 2.0.
     
  34. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    17,362
    Likes Received:
    46

    May 20, 2014

    Shelley~you know that I have been down this road as well and will here for you whenever you need it. I had the same thoughts and feelings that you did when I first decided to divorce my ex. I still sometimes think that maybe I didn't fight hard enough to make it work, but looking back, it wasn't ME, it was HIM. And now I'm ok with that. I see what my life has been like the past 7 months since the divorce (and even a few months before), and I couldn't ask for a more perfect post-divorce life. I have learned so much more about myself and I am loving the person I am. That will come in time. And like another poster said, there will be good days and bad days, but as time goes back, the good will definitely start to outweight the bad.
     
  35. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2003
    Messages:
    1,923
    Likes Received:
    149

    May 20, 2014

    Good luck Shelly. Many women endure that sh^%t for years. I am not saying you are lucky in any way but life will get better as you learn to be single again. I wish you joy and peace again soon. The old saying when a door closes another opens and now you have experiences to make even better decisions. Hugs to you and your girls......
     
  36. webmistress

    webmistress Devotee

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2006
    Messages:
    1,080
    Likes Received:
    59

    May 20, 2014

    I am so sorry for what you are going through:hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  37. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 7, 2008
    Messages:
    3,544
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 20, 2014

    Sent you a PM, Shelly. Thinking about you constantly.
     
  38. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    3,565
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 20, 2014

    I have to read all the prior replies more carefully… but … last night at our counseling session, he said those three words, "I want out." That was the final word on it. So it is officially over. 15 years of marriage plus 5 years living together (to make sure we were sure!) before that, over. One weird thing is that my anniversary means nothing now. It's written on the inside of his wedding ring with my initials - garbage.

    Have you ever cried so long the whole world looks foggy? I know lots of us have, and for bigger hurts than this. This does really hurt. Like I can't breathe.
     
  39. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2003
    Messages:
    6,810
    Likes Received:
    190

    May 20, 2014

    No words just sending hugs!!!!
     
  40. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2006
    Messages:
    3,565
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 20, 2014

    Thank you for the PMs and amazing support. BandnerdTX, I'm sorry you had such an ordeal in 2008. Great advice, too, I'm getting an attorney.

    Loveslabs, yes, it is hard to imagine a smile on my face, but I do believe you and everyone who says this is a blessing in disguise, or something to make me stronger. Today I feel so much stronger than yesterday. I'm more resolved to take care of details and get it all over with. Sometimes, in stress, I unconsciously turn things into projects I can sink my teeth into - to avoid feeling the feelings. It's like a coping/denial technique.

    Em_Catz, I am going to ask our counselor (I see her by myself later today) about him and what kind of safety net is needed for the kids to always be safe. They are compliant girls and have not yet stood up to him on anything - but they are on the verge of teenage and we all know their job will be to separate from us by asserting themselves. What will he do when they are not easy-peasy? I worry about that.

    SCmom, thank you!

    Creativemonster, interesting - I had not thought about stashing money just in case. Good idea.

    DrivingPigeon, your dad failed you miserably. I'm so sorry for all of us who had abysmal failures in our childhood.

    Diznee - the girls have our adult friends' phone numbers programmed into their phones. They seem so ok - but they must be hurting…? I am thankful for a support system.

    STG - you have been and continue to be a wonderful support for me. Thank you! Your story inspires me. You got your divorce right when my husband and I separated.

    Rabbit, I like that idea: my own rock.

    Catnfiddle and teacherintexas, you are right that this community is amazing and so helpful. Therapy 2.0, I love it.

    You know every one of your posts make me cry. I think it's a healing kind of cry, or a "wonder" kind of cry because so many people actually care. I hope I can be that kind of help to someone some day.
     
  41. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2006
    Messages:
    4,482
    Likes Received:
    96

    May 20, 2014

    Breathe.

    I know this is horrible for you. I've never been through it myself, but a few years ago one of my girlfriends went through a very similar situation. Her husband never physically hurt her, but he was about as absent a father as one could be while still physically present. He did nothing to help with the raising of their son, golfed, worked, drank heavily toward the end. The final straw was when she found out about his extracurricular online activities. I remember her calling me long distance to tell me what was going on. At that point they were "separated" but still living in the same house. She was hanging on to hope that he would change, but he never saw his behaviors as a problem. I think he was/is clinically depressed but refused to admit it. Long story short they have been divorced for three years, and she is back to being the bubbly happy person I knew back in college. When she was married no one in our group ever heard from her more than once every 6 months, and if they did the calls never lasted more than 10 or 15 minutes.

    The point is this. There is light at the end of this tunnel. It may take a while, but you will get there. I'd suggest you not worry about dating or men or Match.com for now. You do NOT need a rebound relationship. Get to know yourself and settle into life as a single mom. Read all summer if you want. Crochet enough stuff to make a killing at the craft fairs this fall. Journal. Sit by the pool. Go to your girls' sporting events or take them to the mall. Above all, don't forget to take care of yourself. Hugs and prayers coming.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. RainStorm,
  2. MaleTeacher,
  3. Ima Teacher,
  4. waterfall,
  5. MissCeliaB
Total: 260 (members: 5, guests: 230, robots: 25)
test